0:00:00.000,0:00:12.041 [Top Gear Theme] 0:00:12.218,0:00:16.318 Tonight, James May faces trial by water, 0:00:16.744,0:00:19.151 James annoys a dog, 0:00:20.918,0:00:25.548 And James says "ow, ow, ow, ow ow" 0:00:46.488,0:00:49.568 As the loser of the previous challenge, 0:00:49.585,0:00:52.000 we decided to give James another chance. 0:00:52.014,0:00:54.234 After breaking his legs, of course. 0:00:54.234,0:00:55.543 Oh, cock. 0:00:55.543,0:00:59.293 First order of business is to figure out how to move. 0:00:59.993,0:01:03.823 Forward was easy enough, as attacking moves you forward. 0:01:03.823,0:01:05.603 Turning around however - 0:01:05.829,0:01:08.089 Why the bloody hell won't it turn round? 0:01:08.176,0:01:12.976 Fortunately, the hunter starts with a bow, [br]which can be used to aim and - 0:01:13.366,0:01:14.356 Hang on, did - 0:01:14.356,0:01:15.555 [Crickets chirping] 0:01:15.555,0:01:16.934 It's all over, mate 0:01:16.934,0:01:17.704 Oh, cock. 0:01:18.739,0:01:22.739 Still, we can choose the binoculars as our starting gift. 0:01:22.739,0:01:26.187 It is so unbelievably slow, 0:01:26.187,0:01:29.135 but you do start with it from the get go. 0:01:31.633,0:01:33.254 Now for some basic tricks. 0:01:33.254,0:01:35.903 You can use backsteps instead [br]for faster movement, 0:01:35.903,0:01:39.531 and use the lock on to turn around in a pinch. 0:01:39.531,0:01:41.201 Contrary to popular belief, 0:01:41.201,0:01:43.298 backsteps DO have i-frames. 0:01:43.298,0:01:45.421 Problem is, it's only four frames. 0:01:46.094,0:01:47.894 The more important aspect is 0:01:47.894,0:01:52.384 the near infinite poise you get during [br]the starting frames. 0:01:53.294,0:01:57.294 After that, we can finally pick up our [br]starting gear. 0:01:57.294,0:01:58.894 An upgrade, for sure, 0:01:58.894,0:02:02.441 but it wasn't going to make our lives [br]easier any time soon. 0:02:03.683,0:02:04.543 "Ow!" 0:02:04.546,0:02:06.176 "[Bleep] thing" 0:02:06.916,0:02:09.196 And without any ranged options, 0:02:09.196,0:02:09.996 "Ow!" 0:02:09.996,0:02:13.296 even a simple bow hollow proved to be [br]a challenge. 0:02:13.296,0:02:14.013 "Ow!" 0:02:14.013,0:02:15.973 At least we can get the jump on this guy. 0:02:15.973,0:02:17.530 Should be easy enough! 0:02:17.530,0:02:20.414 As it turned out, attacks that knock you [br]backwards, 0:02:20.414,0:02:23.244 and not being able to move forward, 0:02:23.244,0:02:25.234 didn't mix too well! 0:02:30.627,0:02:32.025 Oh, cock. 0:02:36.394,0:02:39.842 There's no real point in trying to dodge [br]with backsteps. 0:02:39.842,0:02:42.374 It won't be precise enough to dodge anything, 0:02:42.374,0:02:44.764 and you'll still have to close back the distance. 0:03:01.365,0:03:04.185 The most pressing matter is, [br]of course, mobility, 0:03:04.185,0:03:05.735 or lack thereof. 0:03:05.802,0:03:08.368 So before heading out, [br]we make sure to pick up 0:03:08.368,0:03:11.721 all the items, including the [br]homeward bones. 0:03:11.721,0:03:13.826 Regular hollows are hard enough. 0:03:13.826,0:03:16.499 So our only real choice is up to the burg. 0:03:19.115,0:03:22.463 After reaching the burg and picking up a [br]nearby shield, 0:03:22.463,0:03:25.353 we head down to the Undead Merchant. 0:03:27.878,0:03:29.078 "hehehehe" 0:03:29.078,0:03:34.488 First order of business is to buy a [br]shortbow for the significantly faster aim. 0:03:34.488,0:03:39.648 After that, we stock up on arrows, [br]and buy around 30 firebombs. 0:03:39.648,0:03:41.968 The damage is - well, not the best - 0:03:41.968,0:03:44.657 but at least it can fire from a [br]safe distance. 0:03:44.889,0:03:47.133 Before heading up to the Taurus Demon, 0:03:47.133,0:03:49.328 we stop by a stack of barrels. 0:03:50.790,0:03:53.920 "Holy mother! Did you see that!" 0:03:57.415,0:03:59.545 After crossing the fog gate - 0:04:00.596,0:04:01.595 "Ow!" 0:04:02.686,0:04:06.366 taking care of the archers, [br]we meet with the Taurus Demon. 0:04:07.543,0:04:10.600 Our only defense is backsteps, 0:04:10.600,0:04:12.890 so we need to kill the Taurus Demon 0:04:12.890,0:04:15.169 before the bridge runs out. 0:04:15.169,0:04:17.166 Arrows are too slow for this, 0:04:17.166,0:04:20.496 so use the fire bombs from earlier. 0:04:29.380,0:04:31.390 Now that we have a nice amount in the bank 0:04:31.390,0:04:33.204 we can start thinking about weapons. 0:04:33.204,0:04:35.894 But before that, we need to reach Andre. 0:04:35.894,0:04:39.514 To that end, we head up to the Undead Parish. 0:04:40.452,0:04:44.452 "Hahahahahaha!" 0:04:44.452,0:04:48.569 Trick here is to bait the fire from a [br]relatively safe location. 0:04:49.018,0:04:49.748 "Ow!" 0:04:49.778,0:04:52.348 In this location, the fire only hits once, 0:04:52.348,0:04:54.167 and after that intial blast, 0:04:54.167,0:04:56.337 we can safely head down the bridge. 0:04:56.646,0:04:58.868 "Oh crikey, it's the rozzers." 0:04:59.135,0:05:01.685 Under the bridge, we meet up with [br]the dragon 0:05:01.685,0:05:03.896 or at least, the rear end of it. 0:05:03.896,0:05:05.719 Well, I'm already holding a bow, 0:05:05.719,0:05:08.469 so it would be a damn shame to not [br]take advantage of it. 0:05:08.469,0:05:11.159 With a couple dozen arrows and [br]some patience, 0:05:11.159,0:05:14.899 we can cut down the tail for a decent [br]early game weapon. 0:05:14.899,0:05:17.659 "Heheheheyyy, look at that!" 0:05:17.659,0:05:20.700 The rats can be a bit of a [br]pain in the arse, 0:05:20.700,0:05:23.969 because the last thing you want is [br]getting poisoned. 0:05:23.969,0:05:25.849 Never mind, could be worse. 0:05:26.554,0:05:27.734 "Hang on did-" 0:05:27.881,0:05:30.125 and, then it was. 0:05:33.674,0:05:34.724 Oh, cock. 0:05:38.354,0:05:42.133 "Hahahaha!" "Oh shut up!" 0:05:42.192,0:05:46.192 99 firebombs, because this is going to [br]be a long journey. 0:05:46.192,0:05:48.846 Should be the last time we buy firebombs. 0:05:51.296,0:05:55.116 You may think spending THIS much on [br]firebombs is wasteful. 0:05:55.116,0:05:57.232 But we can get back a lot of souls 0:05:57.242,0:05:58.899 with item pickups. 0:05:58.899,0:06:01.273 After reaching the New Londo Ruins, 0:06:01.273,0:06:03.948 we head up, use the master key 0:06:03.948,0:06:07.798 and enter... The Valley of Drakes. 0:06:10.053,0:06:13.467 As the name suggests, the place is [br]crawling with, well, drakes. 0:06:13.467,0:06:16.346 This one in particular, however, [br]can't move. 0:06:16.346,0:06:20.926 There is also a ledge, and we [br]happen to have 99 firebombs. 0:06:20.926,0:06:23.082 You can see where this is going. 0:06:30.995,0:06:34.435 After the dragon, we can get a [br]healthy amount of souls, 0:06:34.435,0:06:36.955 a shield, and a sword. 0:06:36.955,0:06:39.820 That was against a stationary enemy 0:06:39.820,0:06:42.358 the other drakes won't be that easy. 0:06:42.358,0:06:45.683 Unless, of course, they get[br]stuck in the terrain. 0:06:50.339,0:06:51.599 Easy enough! 0:06:51.599,0:06:54.027 But the next one, not so much. 0:06:54.027,0:06:55.207 Cock. 0:06:57.675,0:07:00.401 Unless, of course, you use the [br]bow to distract 0:07:00.401,0:07:03.942 which increases the amount they [br]need to turn before attacking. 0:07:03.942,0:07:06.915 Now, there was only one [br]obstacle remaining. 0:07:07.905,0:07:09.067 Cock. 0:07:35.732,0:07:36.942 Cheese! 0:07:42.682,0:07:44.398 Not the best weapon in the world, 0:07:44.398,0:07:45.898 but it does its job. 0:07:45.898,0:07:48.478 After that it was a quick [br]trip up to Andre. 0:07:50.221,0:07:52.541 We can get the Grass Crest Shield, 0:07:52.541,0:07:54.761 and a longbow for longer range. 0:07:54.907,0:07:58.217 "Watch this! Oh, hang on, hang on," 0:07:58.255,0:08:02.995 After quitting out, we get the jump on the [br]crystal lizard for some twinkling titanites 0:08:03.519,0:08:05.649 We're almost to the Undead Parish, 0:08:05.649,0:08:07.909 only thing remaning is the[br]Darkroot Garden, 0:08:07.909,0:08:10.629 which should be - "Ow ow ow ow!" 0:08:12.793,0:08:15.248 Quit out if you get grabbed, 0:08:15.248,0:08:17.488 and use firebombs. 0:08:23.475,0:08:25.885 This was a present from [br]Snoop Dogg a few years ago 0:08:25.885,0:08:27.565 when I made an album with him. 0:08:27.565,0:08:30.847 It actually makes the noise "bling" [br]when you hold it up to the camera. 0:08:30.847,0:08:32.957 Look, it goes "bling"! 0:08:32.957,0:08:34.687 I'll just give this a little - 0:08:38.798,0:08:40.938 It's the first weapon we ever saw! 0:08:40.938,0:08:45.798 It's light enough to use while staying [br]below 25% equip load. 0:08:45.798,0:08:48.628 It's easy to get with the master key, 0:08:48.628,0:08:52.628 and its upgraded with twinkling titanites. 0:08:54.105,0:08:57.059 It's the perfect one handed weapon, 0:08:57.059,0:09:00.739 and it's called the Astora Straight Sword. 0:09:03.962,0:09:06.922 "Hahahahaha!" 0:09:22.320,0:09:27.180 I'm never financially recovering from [br]those wasted Twinkling Titanites. 0:09:30.325,0:09:32.515 Never mind. Could be worse. 0:09:36.430,0:09:37.710 Oh, cock. 0:09:45.829,0:09:49.809 "Ah, hello there. I have your reward." 0:09:49.809,0:09:51.960 He's quite a sweet fellow, really. 0:09:51.960,0:09:53.655 I think I'll call him Bob. 0:09:53.655,0:09:55.415 "Let's not be greedy, now." 0:09:55.415,0:09:58.115 Moments later, Bob is dismembered. 0:10:02.571,0:10:04.981 Normally, I would wait for Anor Londo, 0:10:04.981,0:10:08.476 but we need the health, stamina, [br]and endurance right now. 0:10:08.476,0:10:10.459 We head down and down, 0:10:10.459,0:10:12.634 past the New Londo Ruins 0:10:12.634,0:10:14.689 past the Valley of Drakes, 0:10:14.689,0:10:16.469 and into Blighttown. 0:10:16.469,0:10:19.942 Now we don't exactly have the damage [br]to deal with these, 0:10:19.942,0:10:23.002 but we can use the [br]extra health from the ring, 0:10:23.002,0:10:25.712 plus the near infinite poise - 0:10:29.274,0:10:35.428 After that humiliating defeat, [br]I once again turned to my old addiction. 0:10:35.428,0:10:39.248 You may be thinking I'm going to [br]Blighttown with these firebombs, 0:10:39.248,0:10:42.528 but what I'm instead going to do is this. 0:10:51.738,0:10:52.518 "Ow!" 0:11:23.211,0:11:24.671 Oh, cock. 0:11:24.941,0:11:27.533 The shortcut lever to New Londo, 0:11:27.533,0:11:29.303 as well as our choice of weapon, 0:11:29.303,0:11:31.757 was unfortunately behind a key. 0:11:31.757,0:11:34.507 That's where the bow and arrow comes in. 0:11:37.349,0:11:40.369 After picking up a green shard [br]along the way - 0:11:40.369,0:11:42.249 Should come in handy later - 0:11:42.249,0:11:46.249 we go down, past the lever room, for [br]our weapon of choice. 0:11:46.249,0:11:49.310 Why not use the short or the long bow? 0:11:49.310,0:11:53.230 Well, it's because the composite bow has [br]the highest damage by far 0:11:53.230,0:11:55.750 After unlocking the shortcut for later, 0:11:55.750,0:11:58.400 we warp back to Andre. 0:12:11.726,0:12:16.416 With headshots, we can now deal with [br]most enemies from a safe distance. 0:12:16.416,0:12:18.556 Without breaking the bank. 0:12:18.556,0:12:22.466 This should come in handy, [br]for the barbarians on the entrance 0:12:22.466,0:12:24.136 as well as Quelaag. 0:12:25.111,0:12:26.085 Cock. 0:12:33.921,0:12:37.297 The trick here is to lure in one by one 0:12:37.297,0:12:40.561 and use the drake sword's two handed move 0:12:40.597,0:12:41.527 "Ow!" 0:12:41.527,0:12:45.931 The actual trick here is to use repeated [br]headshots to stunlock it. 0:12:48.340,0:12:50.930 Since there were a lot of ladders, 0:12:50.930,0:12:53.621 resting at a bonfire was not an option. 0:12:53.621,0:12:56.622 Unless you want to be stuck here forever [br]with Quelaag. 0:12:56.622,0:12:58.152 In which case, uh, based. 0:12:58.152,0:13:01.172 Unfortunately, the poison swamp [br]and mosquitoes 0:13:01.172,0:13:03.242 were not making things easy. 0:13:03.242,0:13:05.063 Having an upgraded bow helps, 0:13:05.063,0:13:09.063 and it's good practice since we'll be[br]manually aiming a lot. 0:13:10.495,0:13:13.382 Speaking of, Quelaag can be stunned, 0:13:13.382,0:13:18.702 similar to how we stunlocked the barbarians[br]by aiming for the human portion. 0:13:18.702,0:13:22.702 "Watch this! Oh, hang on, hang on." 0:13:22.856,0:13:24.606 "What on earth..." 0:13:26.977,0:13:28.657 That didn't work. 0:13:28.657,0:13:31.557 But just to be sure, let's see it again [br]from several angles. 0:13:51.959,0:13:53.449 "What, I've got to get out? 0:13:53.449,0:13:57.169 Where the hell do you think I'm [br]going to go? Ah, no!" 0:14:01.494,0:14:05.434 And the great question that we are [br]addressing on this occasion is 0:14:05.434,0:14:11.164 Cheese versus Cheese. 0:14:17.373,0:14:21.263 We can use the accessibility ramp [br]placed in front of Miyazaki-san's 0:14:21.263,0:14:23.593 Quelaag Observation Deck. 0:14:49.741,0:14:53.131 With the bell rung, we can head [br]on to Sen's Fortress, 0:14:53.131,0:14:56.311 and make the long journey [br]up to Anor Londo. 0:14:59.810,0:15:01.030 Oh, cock. 0:15:07.710,0:15:11.340 We can't kill the gargoyles and ring the bell [br]to open the gate. 0:15:13.991,0:15:16.941 So this leaves us with only one choice. 0:15:28.647,0:15:32.647 In this state, you cannot use your [br]bow to aim. 0:15:37.755,0:15:42.725 However, pressing aim will turn you in a [br]seemingly random direction. 0:15:45.327,0:15:50.997 Think it has something to do with the[br]initial location where the deathcam was triggered. 0:15:53.355,0:15:56.907 Use trial and error until you get[br]the right angle, 0:15:56.907,0:16:01.177 and punch to move forward, or backstep [br]to move backwards. 0:16:06.850,0:16:10.850 Thankfully, we can stop by the bonfire,[br]kindle, if you haven't already, 0:16:10.850,0:16:14.190 because this is going to be a [br]one way trip. 0:16:26.249,0:16:31.009 Once we enter Sen's Fortress, we can now[br]quit out to disable the deathcam. 0:16:31.691,0:16:36.681 We are now locked in. There will be no escape[br]until we beat Anor Londo, 0:16:36.681,0:16:39.041 and recieve the Lordvessel. 0:16:43.728,0:16:49.098 To no one's surprise, we were ill-equipped[br]to face the challenges of Sen's Fortress. 0:17:01.656,0:17:03.855 One thing we can improve easily, 0:17:03.855,0:17:06.172 is the number of Estus Flasks. 0:17:06.795,0:17:07.605 Cock. 0:17:07.605,0:17:11.605 The Astora Straight Sword prevents [br]skeletons from reassembling. 0:17:11.605,0:17:14.481 Now this would have been a helpful effect, 0:17:14.481,0:17:18.481 if not for the fact that we can use [br]our bow to kill the necromancers. 0:17:19.041,0:17:22.501 Once we skip the entire map using a [br]quick shortcut. 0:17:23.631,0:17:26.991 We can jump down and summon up [br]Paladin Leeroy 0:17:27.717,0:17:28.547 "Hi!" 0:17:28.547,0:17:32.547 After picking up the Cleric set, we head[br]down to Pinwheel. 0:17:33.650,0:17:35.360 "Ow ow ow ow ow!" 0:17:36.162,0:17:38.829 Leeroy can deal the bulk of the damage, 0:17:38.829,0:17:41.799 while we sort out the clones [br]using our bow. 0:17:41.799,0:17:44.701 Or at least, that was the original plan. 0:17:44.701,0:17:46.461 [Dial Up Internet sound] 0:17:46.461,0:17:48.351 "Oh for god's sake!" 0:17:50.711,0:17:54.711 "Oh god in Heaven [BLEEP] you heap of dog [BLEEP]" 0:18:07.789,0:18:10.969 For the next step of our plan, [br]we need a ring. 0:18:10.969,0:18:14.969 Any ring works, except for the [br]ring of favor and protection. 0:18:14.969,0:18:16.749 Now, back to Andre. 0:18:16.749,0:18:23.139 We use our mouse to hover over the arrow, [br]click the arrow and press buy at the same time. 0:18:23.139,0:18:26.599 Press once more to get the insufficent soul message. 0:18:27.774,0:18:30.156 After that, open up the system menu. 0:18:30.156,0:18:34.156 Hold right click, select quit game, [br]and let go. 0:18:34.156,0:18:35.796 After the message pops up, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Select any item and drop -998. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 This works for pretty much any item that can be stacked, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 but having a few thousand long swords can cause some issues 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Which of course, we can exploit. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Remember that Cleric's set we picked up earlier. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Upgrade the hat to +5 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Equip and unequip the hat, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Pop a humanity, and during the animation[br]press the second weapon slot. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 After that, try to unequip the ring. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Finally, equip the priest's hat. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 We have now spawned a fully upgraded[br]Black Knight Sword from thin air. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "This is like being a [BLEEP] hippopotamus."