1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:12,041 [Top Gear Theme] 2 00:00:12,218 --> 00:00:16,318 Tonight, James May faces trial by water, 3 00:00:16,744 --> 00:00:19,151 James annoys a dog, 4 00:00:20,918 --> 00:00:25,548 And James says "ow, ow, ow, ow ow" 5 00:00:46,488 --> 00:00:49,568 As the loser of the previous challenge, 6 00:00:49,585 --> 00:00:52,000 we decided to give James another chance. 7 00:00:52,014 --> 00:00:54,234 After breaking his legs, of course. 8 00:00:54,234 --> 00:00:55,543 Oh, cock. 9 00:00:55,543 --> 00:00:59,293 First order of business is to figure out how to move. 10 00:00:59,993 --> 00:01:03,823 Forward was easy enough, as attacking moves you forward. 11 00:01:03,823 --> 00:01:05,603 Turning around however - 12 00:01:05,829 --> 00:01:08,089 Why the bloody hell won't it turn round? 13 00:01:08,176 --> 00:01:12,976 Fortunately, the hunter starts with a bow, which can be used to aim and - 14 00:01:13,366 --> 00:01:14,356 Hang on, did - 15 00:01:14,356 --> 00:01:15,555 [Crickets chirping] 16 00:01:15,555 --> 00:01:16,934 It's all over, mate 17 00:01:16,934 --> 00:01:17,704 Oh, cock. 18 00:01:18,739 --> 00:01:22,739 Still, we can choose the binoculars as our starting gift. 19 00:01:22,739 --> 00:01:26,187 It is so unbelievably slow, 20 00:01:26,187 --> 00:01:29,135 but you do start with it from the get go. 21 00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:33,254 Now for some basic tricks. 22 00:01:33,254 --> 00:01:35,903 You can use backsteps instead for faster movement, 23 00:01:35,903 --> 00:01:39,531 and use the lock on to turn around in a pinch. 24 00:01:39,531 --> 00:01:41,201 Contrary to popular belief, 25 00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:43,298 backsteps DO have i-frames. 26 00:01:43,298 --> 00:01:45,421 Problem is, it's only four frames. 27 00:01:46,094 --> 00:01:47,894 The more important aspect is 28 00:01:47,894 --> 00:01:52,384 the near infinite poise you get during the starting frames. 29 00:01:53,294 --> 00:01:57,294 After that, we can finally pick up our starting gear. 30 00:01:57,294 --> 00:01:58,894 An upgrade, for sure, 31 00:01:58,894 --> 00:02:02,441 but it wasn't going to make our lives easier any time soon. 32 00:02:03,683 --> 00:02:04,543 "Ow!" 33 00:02:04,546 --> 00:02:06,176 "[Bleep] thing" 34 00:02:06,916 --> 00:02:09,196 And without any ranged options, 35 00:02:09,196 --> 00:02:09,996 "Ow!" 36 00:02:09,996 --> 00:02:13,296 even a simple bow hollow proved to be a challenge. 37 00:02:13,296 --> 00:02:14,013 "Ow!" 38 00:02:14,013 --> 00:02:15,973 At least we can get the jump on this guy. 39 00:02:15,973 --> 00:02:17,530 Should be easy enough! 40 00:02:17,530 --> 00:02:20,414 As it turned out, attacks that knock you backwards, 41 00:02:20,414 --> 00:02:23,244 and not being able to move forward, 42 00:02:23,244 --> 00:02:25,234 didn't mix too well! 43 00:02:30,627 --> 00:02:32,025 Oh, cock. 44 00:02:36,394 --> 00:02:39,842 There's no real point in trying to dodge with backsteps. 45 00:02:39,842 --> 00:02:42,374 It won't be precise enough to dodge anything, 46 00:02:42,374 --> 00:02:44,764 and you'll still have to close back the distance. 47 00:03:01,365 --> 00:03:04,185 The most pressing matter is, of course, mobility, 48 00:03:04,185 --> 00:03:05,735 or lack thereof. 49 00:03:05,802 --> 00:03:08,368 So before heading out, we make sure to pick up 50 00:03:08,368 --> 00:03:11,721 all the items, including the homeward bones. 51 00:03:11,721 --> 00:03:13,826 Regular hollows are hard enough. 52 00:03:13,826 --> 00:03:16,499 So our only real choice is up to the burg. 53 00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:22,463 After reaching the burg and picking up a nearby shield, 54 00:03:22,463 --> 00:03:25,353 we head down to the Undead Merchant. 55 00:03:27,878 --> 00:03:29,078 "hehehehe" 56 00:03:29,078 --> 00:03:34,488 First order of business is to buy a shortbow for the significantly faster aim. 57 00:03:34,488 --> 00:03:39,648 After that, we stock up on arrows, and buy around 30 firebombs. 58 00:03:39,648 --> 00:03:41,968 The damage is - well, not the best - 59 00:03:41,968 --> 00:03:44,657 but at least it can fire from a safe distance. 60 00:03:44,889 --> 00:03:47,133 Before heading up to the Taurus Demon, 61 00:03:47,133 --> 00:03:49,328 we stop by a stack of barrels. 62 00:03:50,790 --> 00:03:53,920 "Holy mother! Did you see that!" 63 00:03:57,415 --> 00:03:59,545 After crossing the fog gate - 64 00:04:00,596 --> 00:04:01,595 "Ow!" 65 00:04:02,686 --> 00:04:06,366 taking care of the archers, we meet with the Taurus Demon. 66 00:04:07,543 --> 00:04:10,600 Our only defense is backsteps, 67 00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:12,890 so we need to kill the Taurus Demon 68 00:04:12,890 --> 00:04:15,169 before the bridge runs out. 69 00:04:15,169 --> 00:04:17,166 Arrows are too slow for this, 70 00:04:17,166 --> 00:04:20,496 so use the fire bombs from earlier. 71 00:04:29,380 --> 00:04:31,390 Now that we have a nice amount in the bank 72 00:04:31,390 --> 00:04:33,204 we can start thinking about weapons. 73 00:04:33,204 --> 00:04:35,894 But before that, we need to reach Andre. 74 00:04:35,894 --> 00:04:39,514 To that end, we head up to the Undead Parish. 75 00:04:40,452 --> 00:04:44,452 "Hahahahahaha!" 76 00:04:44,452 --> 00:04:48,569 Trick here is to bait the fire from a relatively safe location. 77 00:04:49,018 --> 00:04:49,748 "Ow!" 78 00:04:49,778 --> 00:04:52,348 In this location, the fire only hits once, 79 00:04:52,348 --> 00:04:54,167 and after that intial blast, 80 00:04:54,167 --> 00:04:56,337 we can safely head down the bridge. 81 00:04:56,646 --> 00:04:58,868 "Oh crikey, it's the rozzers." 82 00:04:59,135 --> 00:05:01,685 Under the bridge, we meet up with the dragon 83 00:05:01,685 --> 00:05:03,896 or at least, the rear end of it. 84 00:05:03,896 --> 00:05:05,719 Well, I'm already holding a bow, 85 00:05:05,719 --> 00:05:08,469 so it would be a damn shame to not take advantage of it. 86 00:05:08,469 --> 00:05:11,159 With a couple dozen arrows and some patience, 87 00:05:11,159 --> 00:05:14,899 we can cut down the tail for a decent early game weapon. 88 00:05:14,899 --> 00:05:17,659 "Heheheheyyy, look at that!" 89 00:05:17,659 --> 00:05:20,700 The rats can be a bit of a pain in the arse, 90 00:05:20,700 --> 00:05:23,969 because the last thing you want is getting poisoned. 91 00:05:23,969 --> 00:05:25,849 Never mind, could be worse. 92 00:05:26,554 --> 00:05:27,734 "Hang on did-" 93 00:05:27,881 --> 00:05:30,125 and, then it was. 94 00:05:33,674 --> 00:05:34,724 Oh, cock. 95 00:05:38,354 --> 00:05:42,133 "Hahahaha!" "Oh shut up!" 96 00:05:42,192 --> 00:05:46,192 99 firebombs, because this is going to be a long journey. 97 00:05:46,192 --> 00:05:48,846 Should be the last time we buy firebombs. 98 00:05:51,296 --> 00:05:55,116 You may think spending THIS much on firebombs is wasteful. 99 00:05:55,116 --> 00:05:57,232 But we can get back a lot of souls 100 00:05:57,242 --> 00:05:58,899 with item pickups. 101 00:05:58,899 --> 00:06:01,273 After reaching the New Londo Ruins, 102 00:06:01,273 --> 00:06:03,948 we head up, use the master key 103 00:06:03,948 --> 00:06:07,798 and enter... The Valley of Drakes. 104 00:06:10,053 --> 00:06:13,467 As the name suggests, the place is crawling with, well, drakes. 105 00:06:13,467 --> 00:06:16,346 This one in particular, however, can't move. 106 00:06:16,346 --> 00:06:20,926 There is also a ledge, and we happen to have 99 firebombs. 107 00:06:20,926 --> 00:06:23,082 You can see where this is going. 108 00:06:30,995 --> 00:06:34,435 After the dragon, we can get a healthy amount of souls, 109 00:06:34,435 --> 00:06:36,955 a shield, and a sword. 110 00:06:36,955 --> 00:06:39,820 That was against a stationary enemy 111 00:06:39,820 --> 00:06:42,358 the other drakes won't be that easy. 112 00:06:42,358 --> 00:06:45,683 Unless, of course, they get stuck in the terrain. 113 00:06:50,339 --> 00:06:51,599 Easy enough! 114 00:06:51,599 --> 00:06:54,027 But the next one, not so much. 115 00:06:54,027 --> 00:06:55,207 Cock. 116 00:06:57,675 --> 00:07:00,401 Unless, of course, you use the bow to distract 117 00:07:00,401 --> 00:07:03,942 which increases the amount they need to turn before attacking. 118 00:07:03,942 --> 00:07:06,915 Now, there was only one obstacle remaining. 119 00:07:07,905 --> 00:07:09,067 Cock. 120 00:07:35,732 --> 00:07:36,942 Cheese! 121 00:07:42,682 --> 00:07:44,398 Not the best weapon in the world, 122 00:07:44,398 --> 00:07:45,898 but it does its job. 123 00:07:45,898 --> 00:07:48,478 After that it was a quick trip up to Andre. 124 00:07:50,221 --> 00:07:52,541 We can get the Grass Crest Shield, 125 00:07:52,541 --> 00:07:54,761 and a longbow for longer range. 126 00:07:54,907 --> 00:07:58,217 "Watch this! Oh, hang on, hang on," 127 00:07:58,255 --> 00:08:02,995 After quitting out, we get the jump on the crystal lizard for some twinkling titanites 128 00:08:03,519 --> 00:08:05,649 We're almost to the Undead Parish, 129 00:08:05,649 --> 00:08:07,909 only thing remaning is the Darkroot Garden, 130 00:08:07,909 --> 00:08:10,629 which should be - "Ow ow ow ow!" 131 00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:15,248 Quit out if you get grabbed, 132 00:08:15,248 --> 00:08:17,488 and use firebombs. 133 00:08:23,475 --> 00:08:25,885 This was a present from Snoop Dogg a few years ago 134 00:08:25,885 --> 00:08:27,565 when I made an album with him. 135 00:08:27,565 --> 00:08:30,847 It actually makes the noise "bling" when you hold it up to the camera. 136 00:08:30,847 --> 00:08:32,957 Look, it goes "bling"! 137 00:08:32,957 --> 00:08:34,687 I'll just give this a little - 138 00:08:38,798 --> 00:08:40,938 It's the first weapon we ever saw! 139 00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:45,798 It's light enough to use while staying below 25% equip load. 140 00:08:45,798 --> 00:08:48,628 It's easy to get with the master key, 141 00:08:48,628 --> 00:08:52,628 and its upgraded with twinkling titanites. 142 00:08:54,105 --> 00:08:57,059 It's the perfect one handed weapon, 143 00:08:57,059 --> 00:09:00,739 and it's called the Astora Straight Sword. 144 00:09:03,962 --> 00:09:06,922 "Hahahahaha!" 145 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:27,180 I'm never financially recovering from those wasted Twinkling Titanites. 146 00:09:30,325 --> 00:09:32,515 Never mind. Could be worse. 147 00:09:36,430 --> 00:09:37,710 Oh, cock. 148 00:09:45,829 --> 00:09:49,809 "Ah, hello there. I have your reward." 149 00:09:49,809 --> 00:09:51,960 He's quite a sweet fellow, really. 150 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:53,655 I think I'll call him Bob. 151 00:09:53,655 --> 00:09:55,415 "Let's not be greedy, now." 152 00:09:55,415 --> 00:09:58,115 Moments later, Bob is dismembered. 153 00:10:02,571 --> 00:10:04,981 Normally, I would wait for Anor Londo, 154 00:10:04,981 --> 00:10:08,476 but we need the health, stamina, and endurance right now. 155 00:10:08,476 --> 00:10:10,459 We head down and down, 156 00:10:10,459 --> 00:10:12,634 past the New Londo Ruins 157 00:10:12,634 --> 00:10:14,689 past the Valley of Drakes, 158 00:10:14,689 --> 00:10:16,469 and into Blighttown. 159 00:10:16,469 --> 00:10:19,942 Now we don't exactly have the damage to deal with these, 160 00:10:19,942 --> 00:10:23,002 but we can use the extra health from the ring, 161 00:10:23,002 --> 00:10:25,712 plus the near infinite poise - 162 00:10:29,274 --> 00:10:35,428 After that humiliating defeat, I once again turned to my old addiction. 163 00:10:35,428 --> 00:10:39,248 You may be thinking I'm going to Blighttown with these firebombs, 164 00:10:39,248 --> 00:10:42,528 but what I'm instead going to do is this. 165 00:10:51,738 --> 00:10:52,518 "Ow!" 166 00:11:23,211 --> 00:11:24,671 Oh, cock. 167 00:11:24,941 --> 00:11:27,533 The shortcut lever to New Londo, 168 00:11:27,533 --> 00:11:29,303 as well as our choice of weapon, 169 00:11:29,303 --> 00:11:31,757 was unfortunately behind a key. 170 00:11:31,757 --> 00:11:34,507 That's where the bow and arrow comes in. 171 00:11:37,349 --> 00:11:40,369 After picking up a green shard along the way - 172 00:11:40,369 --> 00:11:42,249 Should come in handy later - 173 00:11:42,249 --> 00:11:46,249 we go down, past the lever room, for our weapon of choice. 174 00:11:46,249 --> 00:11:49,310 Why not use the short or the long bow? 175 00:11:49,310 --> 00:11:53,230 Well, it's because the composite bow has the highest damage by far 176 00:11:53,230 --> 00:11:55,750 After unlocking the shortcut for later, 177 00:11:55,750 --> 00:11:58,400 we warp back to Andre. 178 00:12:11,726 --> 00:12:16,416 With headshots, we can now deal with most enemies from a safe distance. 179 00:12:16,416 --> 00:12:18,556 Without breaking the bank. 180 00:12:18,556 --> 00:12:22,466 This should come in handy, for the barbarians on the entrance 181 00:12:22,466 --> 00:12:24,136 as well as Quelaag. 182 00:12:25,111 --> 00:12:26,085 Cock. 183 00:12:33,921 --> 00:12:37,297 The trick here is to lure in one by one 184 00:12:37,297 --> 00:12:40,561 and use the drake sword's two handed move 185 00:12:40,597 --> 00:12:41,527 "Ow!" 186 00:12:41,527 --> 00:12:45,931 The actual trick here is to use repeated headshots to stunlock it. 187 00:12:48,340 --> 00:12:50,930 Since there were a lot of ladders, 188 00:12:50,930 --> 00:12:53,621 resting at a bonfire was not an option. 189 00:12:53,621 --> 00:12:56,622 Unless you want to be stuck here forever with Quelaag. 190 00:12:56,622 --> 00:12:58,152 In which case, uh, based. 191 00:12:58,152 --> 00:13:01,172 Unfortunately, the poison swamp and mosquitoes 192 00:13:01,172 --> 00:13:03,242 were not making things easy. 193 00:13:03,242 --> 00:13:05,063 Having an upgraded bow helps, 194 00:13:05,063 --> 00:13:09,063 and it's good practice since we'll be manually aiming a lot. 195 00:13:10,495 --> 00:13:13,382 Speaking of, Quelaag can be stunned, 196 00:13:13,382 --> 00:13:18,702 similar to how we stunlocked the barbarians by aiming for the human portion. 197 00:13:18,702 --> 00:13:22,702 "Watch this! Oh, hang on, hang on." 198 00:13:22,856 --> 00:13:24,606 "What on earth..." 199 00:13:26,977 --> 00:13:28,657 That didn't work. 200 00:13:28,657 --> 00:13:31,557 But just to be sure, let's see it again from several angles. 201 00:13:51,959 --> 00:13:53,449 "What, I've got to get out? 202 00:13:53,449 --> 00:13:57,169 Where the hell do you think I'm going to go? Ah, no!" 203 00:14:01,494 --> 00:14:05,434 And the great question that we are addressing on this occasion is 204 00:14:05,434 --> 00:14:11,164 Cheese versus Cheese. 205 00:14:17,373 --> 00:14:21,263 We can use the accessibility ramp placed in front of Miyazaki-san's 206 00:14:21,263 --> 00:14:23,593 Quelaag Observation Deck. 207 00:14:49,741 --> 00:14:53,131 With the bell rung, we can head on to Sen's Fortress, 208 00:14:53,131 --> 00:14:56,311 and make the long journey up to Anor Londo. 209 00:14:59,810 --> 00:15:01,030 Oh, cock. 210 00:15:07,710 --> 00:15:11,340 We can't kill the gargoyles and ring the bell to open the gate. 211 00:15:13,991 --> 00:15:16,941 So this leaves us with only one choice. 212 00:15:28,647 --> 00:15:32,647 In this state, you cannot use your bow to aim. 213 00:15:37,755 --> 00:15:42,725 However, pressing aim will turn you in a seemingly random direction. 214 00:15:45,327 --> 00:15:50,997 Think it has something to do with the initial location where the deathcam was triggered. 215 00:15:53,355 --> 00:15:56,907 Use trial and error until you get the right angle, 216 00:15:56,907 --> 00:16:01,177 and punch to move forward, or backstep to move backwards. 217 00:16:06,850 --> 00:16:10,850 Thankfully, we can stop by the bonfire, kindle, if you haven't already, 218 00:16:10,850 --> 00:16:14,190 because this is going to be a one way trip. 219 00:16:26,249 --> 00:16:31,009 Once we enter Sen's Fortress, we can now quit out to disable the deathcam. 220 00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:36,681 We are now locked in. There will be no escape until we beat Anor Londo, 221 00:16:36,681 --> 00:16:39,041 and recieve the Lordvessel. 222 00:16:43,728 --> 00:16:49,098 To no one's surprise, we were ill-equipped to face the challenges of Sen's Fortress. 223 00:17:01,656 --> 00:17:03,855 One thing we can improve easily, 224 00:17:03,855 --> 00:17:06,172 is the number of Estus Flasks. 225 00:17:06,795 --> 00:17:07,605 Cock. 226 00:17:07,605 --> 00:17:11,605 The Astora Straight Sword prevents skeletons from reassembling. 227 00:17:11,605 --> 00:17:14,481 Now this would have been a helpful effect, 228 00:17:14,481 --> 00:17:18,481 if not for the fact that we can use our bow to kill the necromancers. 229 00:17:19,041 --> 00:17:22,501 Once we skip the entire map using a quick shortcut. 230 00:17:23,631 --> 00:17:26,991 We can jump down and summon up Paladin Leeroy 231 00:17:27,717 --> 00:17:28,547 "Hi!" 232 00:17:28,547 --> 00:17:32,547 After picking up the Cleric set, we head down to Pinwheel. 233 00:17:33,650 --> 00:17:35,360 "Ow ow ow ow ow!" 234 00:17:36,162 --> 00:17:38,829 Leeroy can deal the bulk of the damage, 235 00:17:38,829 --> 00:17:41,799 while we sort out the clones using our bow. 236 00:17:41,799 --> 00:17:44,701 Or at least, that was the original plan. 237 00:17:44,701 --> 00:17:46,461 [Dial Up Internet sound] 238 00:17:46,461 --> 00:17:48,351 "Oh for god's sake!" 239 00:17:50,711 --> 00:17:54,711 "Oh god in Heaven [BLEEP] you heap of dog [BLEEP]" 240 00:18:07,789 --> 00:18:10,969 For the next step of our plan, we need a ring. 241 00:18:10,969 --> 00:18:14,969 Any ring works, except for the ring of favor and protection. 242 00:18:14,969 --> 00:18:16,749 Now, back to Andre. 243 00:18:16,749 --> 00:18:23,139 We use our mouse to hover over the arrow, click the arrow and press buy at the same time. 244 00:18:23,139 --> 00:18:26,599 Press once more to get the insufficent soul message. 245 00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:30,156 After that, open up the system menu. 246 00:18:30,156 --> 00:18:34,156 Hold right click, select quit game, and let go. 247 00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:35,796 After the message pops up, 248 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Select any item and drop -998. 249 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This works for pretty much any item that can be stacked, 250 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but having a few thousand long swords can cause some issues 251 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Which of course, we can exploit. 252 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Remember that Cleric's set we picked up earlier. 253 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Upgrade the hat to +5 254 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Equip and unequip the hat, 255 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Pop a humanity, and during the animation press the second weapon slot. 256 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 After that, try to unequip the ring. 257 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Finally, equip the priest's hat. 258 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 We have now spawned a fully upgraded Black Knight Sword from thin air. 259 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "This is like being a [BLEEP] hippopotamus."