WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:12.041 [Top Gear Theme] 00:00:12.218 --> 00:00:16.318 Tonight, James May faces trial by water, 00:00:16.744 --> 00:00:19.151 James annoys a dog, 00:00:20.918 --> 00:00:25.548 And James says "ow, ow, ow, ow ow" 00:00:46.488 --> 00:00:49.568 As the loser of the previous challenge, 00:00:49.585 --> 00:00:52.000 we decided to give James another chance. 00:00:52.014 --> 00:00:54.234 After breaking his legs, of course. 00:00:54.234 --> 00:00:55.543 Oh, cock. 00:00:55.543 --> 00:00:59.293 First order of business is to figure out how to move. 00:00:59.993 --> 00:01:03.823 Forward was easy enough, as attacking moves you forward. 00:01:03.823 --> 00:01:05.603 Turning around however - 00:01:05.829 --> 00:01:08.089 Why the bloody hell won't it turn round? 00:01:08.176 --> 00:01:12.976 Fortunately, the hunter starts with a bow, which can be used to aim and - 00:01:13.366 --> 00:01:14.356 Hang on, did - 00:01:14.356 --> 00:01:15.555 [Crickets chirping] 00:01:15.555 --> 00:01:16.934 It's all over, mate 00:01:16.934 --> 00:01:17.704 Oh, cock. 00:01:18.739 --> 00:01:22.739 Still, we can choose the binoculars as our starting gift. 00:01:22.739 --> 00:01:26.187 It is so unbelievably slow, 00:01:26.187 --> 00:01:29.135 but you do start with it from the get go. 00:01:31.633 --> 00:01:33.254 Now for some basic tricks. 00:01:33.254 --> 00:01:35.903 You can use backsteps instead for faster movement, 00:01:35.903 --> 00:01:39.531 and use the lock on to turn around in a pinch. 00:01:39.531 --> 00:01:41.201 Contrary to popular belief, 00:01:41.201 --> 00:01:43.298 backsteps DO have i-frames. 00:01:43.298 --> 00:01:45.421 Problem is, it's only four frames. 00:01:46.094 --> 00:01:47.894 The more important aspect is 00:01:47.894 --> 00:01:52.384 the near infinite poise you get during the starting frames. 00:01:53.294 --> 00:01:57.294 After that, we can finally pick up our starting gear. 00:01:57.294 --> 00:01:58.894 An upgrade, for sure, 00:01:58.894 --> 00:02:02.441 but it wasn't going to make our lives easier any time soon. 00:02:03.683 --> 00:02:04.543 "Ow!" 00:02:04.546 --> 00:02:06.176 "[Bleep] thing" 00:02:06.916 --> 00:02:09.196 And without any ranged options, 00:02:09.196 --> 00:02:09.996 "Ow!" 00:02:09.996 --> 00:02:13.296 even a simple bow hollow proved to be a challenge. 00:02:13.296 --> 00:02:14.013 "Ow!" 00:02:14.013 --> 00:02:15.973 At least we can get the jump on this guy. 00:02:15.973 --> 00:02:17.530 Should be easy enough! 00:02:17.530 --> 00:02:20.414 As it turned out, attacks that knock you backwards, 00:02:20.414 --> 00:02:23.244 and not being able to move forward, 00:02:23.244 --> 00:02:25.234 didn't mix too well! 00:02:30.627 --> 00:02:32.025 Oh, cock. 00:02:36.394 --> 00:02:39.842 There's no real point in trying to dodge with backsteps. 00:02:39.842 --> 00:02:42.374 It won't be precise enough to dodge anything, 00:02:42.374 --> 00:02:44.764 and you'll still have to close back the distance. 00:03:01.365 --> 00:03:04.185 The most pressing matter is, of course, mobility, 00:03:04.185 --> 00:03:05.735 or lack thereof. 00:03:05.802 --> 00:03:08.368 So before heading out, we make sure to pick up 00:03:08.368 --> 00:03:11.721 all the items, including the homeward bones. 00:03:11.721 --> 00:03:13.826 Regular hollows are hard enough. 00:03:13.826 --> 00:03:16.499 So our only real choice is up to the burg. 00:03:19.115 --> 00:03:22.463 After reaching the burg and picking up a nearby shield, 00:03:22.463 --> 00:03:25.353 we head down to the Undead Merchant. 00:03:27.878 --> 00:03:29.078 "hehehehe" 00:03:29.078 --> 00:03:34.488 First order of business is to buy a shortbow for the significantly faster aim. 00:03:34.488 --> 00:03:39.648 After that, we stock up on arrows, and buy around 30 firebombs. 00:03:39.648 --> 00:03:41.968 The damage is - well, not the best - 00:03:41.968 --> 00:03:44.657 but at least it can fire from a safe distance. 00:03:44.889 --> 00:03:47.133 Before heading up to the Taurus Demon, 00:03:47.133 --> 00:03:49.328 we stop by a stack of barrels. 00:03:50.790 --> 00:03:53.920 "Holy mother! Did you see that!" 00:03:57.415 --> 00:03:59.545 After crossing the fog gate - 00:04:00.596 --> 00:04:01.595 "Ow!" 00:04:02.686 --> 00:04:06.366 taking care of the archers, we meet with the Taurus Demon. 00:04:07.543 --> 00:04:10.600 Our only defense is backsteps, 00:04:10.600 --> 00:04:12.890 so we need to kill the Taurus Demon 00:04:12.890 --> 00:04:15.169 before the bridge runs out. 00:04:15.169 --> 00:04:17.166 Arrows are too slow for this, 00:04:17.166 --> 00:04:20.496 so use the fire bombs from earlier. 00:04:29.380 --> 00:04:31.390 Now that we have a nice amount in the bank 00:04:31.390 --> 00:04:33.204 we can start thinking about weapons. 00:04:33.204 --> 00:04:35.894 But before that, we need to reach Andre. 00:04:35.894 --> 00:04:39.514 To that end, we head up to the Undead Parish. 00:04:40.452 --> 00:04:44.452 "Hahahahahaha!" 00:04:44.452 --> 00:04:48.569 Trick here is to bait the fire from a relatively safe location. 00:04:49.018 --> 00:04:49.748 "Ow!" 00:04:49.778 --> 00:04:52.348 In this location, the fire only hits once, 00:04:52.348 --> 00:04:54.167 and after that intial blast, 00:04:54.167 --> 00:04:56.337 we can safely head down the bridge. 00:04:56.646 --> 00:04:58.868 "Oh crikey, it's the rozzers." 00:04:59.135 --> 00:05:01.685 Under the bridge, we meet up with the dragon 00:05:01.685 --> 00:05:03.896 or at least, the rear end of it. 00:05:03.896 --> 00:05:05.719 Well, I'm already holding a bow, 00:05:05.719 --> 00:05:08.469 so it would be a damn shame to not take advantage of it. 00:05:08.469 --> 00:05:11.159 With a couple dozen arrows and some patience, 00:05:11.159 --> 00:05:14.899 we can cut down the tail for a decent early game weapon. 00:05:14.899 --> 00:05:17.659 "Heheheheyyy, look at that!" 00:05:17.659 --> 00:05:20.700 The rats can be a bit of a pain in the arse, 00:05:20.700 --> 00:05:23.969 because the last thing you want is getting poisoned. 00:05:23.969 --> 00:05:25.849 Never mind, could be worse. 00:05:26.554 --> 00:05:27.734 "Hang on did-" 00:05:27.881 --> 00:05:30.125 and, then it was. 00:05:33.674 --> 00:05:34.724 Oh, cock. 00:05:38.354 --> 00:05:42.133 "Hahahaha!" "Oh shut up!" 00:05:42.192 --> 00:05:46.192 99 firebombs, because this is going to be a long journey. 00:05:46.192 --> 00:05:48.846 Should be the last time we buy firebombs. 00:05:51.296 --> 00:05:55.116 You may think spending THIS much on firebombs is wasteful. 00:05:55.116 --> 00:05:57.232 But we can get back a lot of souls 00:05:57.242 --> 00:05:58.899 with item pickups. 00:05:58.899 --> 00:06:01.273 After reaching the New Londo Ruins, 00:06:01.273 --> 00:06:03.948 we head up, use the master key 00:06:03.948 --> 00:06:07.798 and enter... The Valley of Drakes. 00:06:10.053 --> 00:06:13.467 As the name suggests, the place is crawling with, well, drakes. 00:06:13.467 --> 00:06:16.346 This one in particular, however, can't move. 00:06:16.346 --> 00:06:20.926 There is also a ledge, and we happen to have 99 firebombs. 00:06:20.926 --> 00:06:23.082 You can see where this is going. 00:06:30.995 --> 00:06:34.435 After the dragon, we can get a healthy amount of souls, 00:06:34.435 --> 00:06:36.955 a shield, and a sword. 00:06:36.955 --> 00:06:39.820 That was against a stationary enemy 00:06:39.820 --> 00:06:42.358 the other drakes won't be that easy. 00:06:42.358 --> 00:06:45.683 Unless, of course, they get stuck in the terrain. 00:06:50.339 --> 00:06:51.599 Easy enough! 00:06:51.599 --> 00:06:54.027 But the next one, not so much. 00:06:54.027 --> 00:06:55.207 Cock. 00:06:57.675 --> 00:07:00.401 Unless, of course, you use the bow to distract 00:07:00.401 --> 00:07:03.942 which increases the amount they need to turn before attacking. 00:07:03.942 --> 00:07:06.915 Now, there was only one obstacle remaining. 00:07:07.905 --> 00:07:09.067 Cock. 00:07:35.732 --> 00:07:36.942 Cheese! 00:07:42.682 --> 00:07:44.398 Not the best weapon in the world, 00:07:44.398 --> 00:07:45.898 but it does its job. 00:07:45.898 --> 00:07:48.478 After that it was a quick trip up to Andre. 00:07:50.221 --> 00:07:52.541 We can get the Grass Crest Shield, 00:07:52.541 --> 00:07:54.761 and a longbow for longer range. 00:07:54.907 --> 00:07:58.217 "Watch this! Oh, hang on, hang on," 00:07:58.255 --> 00:08:02.995 After quitting out, we get the jump on the crystal lizard for some twinkling titanites 00:08:03.519 --> 00:08:05.649 We're almost to the Undead Parish, 00:08:05.649 --> 00:08:07.909 only thing remaning is the Darkroot Garden, 00:08:07.909 --> 00:08:10.629 which should be - "Ow ow ow ow!" 00:08:12.793 --> 00:08:15.248 Quit out if you get grabbed, 00:08:15.248 --> 00:08:17.488 and use firebombs. 00:08:23.475 --> 00:08:25.885 This was a present from Snoop Dogg a few years ago 00:08:25.885 --> 00:08:27.565 when I made an album with him. 00:08:27.565 --> 00:08:30.847 It actually makes the noise "bling" when you hold it up to the camera. 00:08:30.847 --> 00:08:32.957 Look, it goes "bling"! 00:08:32.957 --> 00:08:34.687 I'll just give this a little - 00:08:38.798 --> 00:08:40.938 It's the first weapon we ever saw! 00:08:40.938 --> 00:08:45.798 It's light enough to use while staying below 25% equip load. 00:08:45.798 --> 00:08:48.628 It's easy to get with the master key, 00:08:48.628 --> 00:08:52.628 and its upgraded with twinkling titanites. 00:08:54.105 --> 00:08:57.059 It's the perfect one handed weapon, 00:08:57.059 --> 00:09:00.739 and it's called the Astora Straight Sword. 00:09:03.962 --> 00:09:06.922 "Hahahahaha!" 00:09:22.320 --> 00:09:27.180 I'm never financially recovering from those wasted Twinkling Titanites. 00:09:30.325 --> 00:09:32.515 Never mind. Could be worse. 00:09:36.430 --> 00:09:37.710 Oh, cock. 00:09:45.829 --> 00:09:49.809 "Ah, hello there. I have your reward." 00:09:49.809 --> 00:09:51.960 He's quite a sweet fellow, really. 00:09:51.960 --> 00:09:53.655 I think I'll call him Bob. 00:09:53.655 --> 00:09:55.415 "Let's not be greedy, now." 00:09:55.415 --> 00:09:58.115 Moments later, Bob is dismembered. 00:10:02.571 --> 00:10:04.981 Normally, I would wait for Anor Londo, 00:10:04.981 --> 00:10:08.476 but we need the health, stamina, and endurance right now. 00:10:08.476 --> 00:10:10.459 We head down and down, 00:10:10.459 --> 00:10:12.634 past the New Londo Ruins 00:10:12.634 --> 00:10:14.689 past the Valley of Drakes, 00:10:14.689 --> 00:10:16.469 and into Blighttown. 00:10:16.469 --> 00:10:19.942 Now we don't exactly have the damage to deal with these, 00:10:19.942 --> 00:10:23.002 but we can use the extra health from the ring, 00:10:23.002 --> 00:10:25.712 plus the near infinite poise - 00:10:29.274 --> 00:10:35.428 After that humiliating defeat, I once again turned to my old addiction. 00:10:35.428 --> 00:10:39.248 You may be thinking I'm going to Blighttown with these firebombs, 00:10:39.248 --> 00:10:42.528 but what I'm instead going to do is this. 00:10:51.738 --> 00:10:52.518 "Ow!" 00:11:23.211 --> 00:11:24.671 Oh, cock. 00:11:24.941 --> 00:11:27.533 The shortcut lever to New Londo, 00:11:27.533 --> 00:11:29.303 as well as our choice of weapon, 00:11:29.303 --> 00:11:31.757 was unfortunately behind a key. 00:11:31.757 --> 00:11:34.507 That's where the bow and arrow comes in. 00:11:37.349 --> 00:11:40.369 After picking up a green shard along the way - 00:11:40.369 --> 00:11:42.249 Should come in handy later - 00:11:42.249 --> 00:11:46.249 we go down, past the lever room, for our weapon of choice. 00:11:46.249 --> 00:11:49.310 Why not use the short or the long bow? 00:11:49.310 --> 00:11:53.230 Well, it's because the composite bow has the highest damage by far 00:11:53.230 --> 00:11:55.750 After unlocking the shortcut for later, 00:11:55.750 --> 00:11:58.400 we warp back to Andre. 00:12:11.726 --> 00:12:16.416 With headshots, we can now deal with most enemies from a safe distance. 00:12:16.416 --> 00:12:18.556 Without breaking the bank. 00:12:18.556 --> 00:12:22.466 This should come in handy, for the barbarians on the entrance 00:12:22.466 --> 00:12:24.136 as well as Quelaag. 00:12:25.111 --> 00:12:26.085 Cock. 00:12:33.921 --> 00:12:37.297 The trick here is to lure in one by one 00:12:37.297 --> 00:12:40.561 and use the drake sword's two handed move 00:12:40.597 --> 00:12:41.527 "Ow!" 00:12:41.527 --> 00:12:45.931 The actual trick here is to use repeated headshots to stunlock it. 00:12:48.340 --> 00:12:50.930 Since there were a lot of ladders, 00:12:50.930 --> 00:12:53.621 resting at a bonfire was not an option. 00:12:53.621 --> 00:12:56.622 Unless you want to be stuck here forever with Quelaag. 00:12:56.622 --> 00:12:58.152 In which case, uh, based. 00:12:58.152 --> 00:13:01.172 Unfortunately, the poison swamp and mosquitoes 00:13:01.172 --> 00:13:03.242 were not making things easy. 00:13:03.242 --> 00:13:05.063 Having an upgraded bow helps, 00:13:05.063 --> 00:13:09.063 and it's good practice since we'll be manually aiming a lot. 00:13:10.495 --> 00:13:13.382 Speaking of, Quelaag can be stunned, 00:13:13.382 --> 00:13:18.702 similar to how we stunlocked the barbarians by aiming for the human portion. 00:13:18.702 --> 00:13:22.702 "Watch this! Oh, hang on, hang on." 00:13:22.856 --> 00:13:24.606 "What on earth..." 00:13:26.977 --> 00:13:28.657 That didn't work. 00:13:28.657 --> 00:13:31.557 But just to be sure, let's see it again from several angles. 00:13:51.959 --> 00:13:53.449 "What, I've got to get out? 00:13:53.449 --> 00:13:57.169 Where the hell do you think I'm going to go? Ah, no!" 00:14:01.494 --> 00:14:05.434 And the great question that we are addressing on this occasion is 00:14:05.434 --> 00:14:11.164 Cheese versus Cheese. 00:14:17.373 --> 00:14:21.263 We can use the accessibility ramp placed in front of Miyazaki-san's 00:14:21.263 --> 00:14:23.593 Quelaag Observation Deck. 00:14:49.741 --> 00:14:53.131 With the bell rung, we can head on to Sen's Fortress, 00:14:53.131 --> 00:14:56.311 and make the long journey up to Anor Londo. 00:14:59.810 --> 00:15:01.030 Oh, cock. 00:15:07.710 --> 00:15:11.340 We can't kill the gargoyles and ring the bell to open the gate. 00:15:13.991 --> 00:15:16.941 So this leaves us with only one choice. 00:15:28.647 --> 00:15:32.647 In this state, you cannot use your bow to aim. 00:15:37.755 --> 00:15:42.725 However, pressing aim will turn you in a seemingly random direction. 00:15:45.327 --> 00:15:50.997 Think it has something to do with the initial location where the deathcam was triggered. 00:15:53.355 --> 00:15:56.907 Use trial and error until you get the right angle, 00:15:56.907 --> 00:16:01.177 and punch to move forward, or backstep to move backwards. 00:16:06.850 --> 00:16:10.850 Thankfully, we can stop by the bonfire, kindle, if you haven't already, 00:16:10.850 --> 00:16:14.190 because this is going to be a one way trip. 00:16:26.249 --> 00:16:31.009 Once we enter Sen's Fortress, we can now quit out to disable the deathcam. 00:16:31.691 --> 00:16:36.681 We are now locked in. There will be no escape until we beat Anor Londo, 00:16:36.681 --> 00:16:39.041 and recieve the Lordvessel. 00:16:43.728 --> 00:16:49.098 To no one's surprise, we were ill-equipped to face the challenges of Sen's Fortress. 00:17:01.656 --> 00:17:03.855 One thing we can improve easily, 00:17:03.855 --> 00:17:06.172 is the number of Estus Flasks. 00:17:06.795 --> 00:17:07.605 Cock. 00:17:07.605 --> 00:17:11.605 The Astora Straight Sword prevents skeletons from reassembling. 00:17:11.605 --> 00:17:14.481 Now this would have been a helpful effect, 00:17:14.481 --> 00:17:18.481 if not for the fact that we can use our bow to kill the necromancers. 00:17:19.041 --> 00:17:22.501 Once we skip the entire map using a quick shortcut. 00:17:23.631 --> 00:17:26.991 We can jump down and summon up Paladin Leeroy 00:17:27.717 --> 00:17:28.547 "Hi!" 00:17:28.547 --> 00:17:32.547 After picking up the Cleric set, we head down to Pinwheel. 00:17:33.650 --> 00:17:35.360 "Ow ow ow ow ow!" 00:17:36.162 --> 00:17:38.829 Leeroy can deal the bulk of the damage, 00:17:38.829 --> 00:17:41.799 while we sort out the clones using our bow. 00:17:41.799 --> 00:17:44.701 Or at least, that was the original plan. 00:17:44.701 --> 00:17:46.461 [Dial Up Internet sound] 00:17:46.461 --> 00:17:48.351 "Oh for god's sake!" 00:17:50.711 --> 00:17:54.711 "Oh god in Heaven [BLEEP] you heap of dog [BLEEP]" 00:18:07.789 --> 00:18:10.969 For the next step of our plan, we need a ring. 00:18:10.969 --> 00:18:14.969 Any ring works, except for the ring of favor and protection. 00:18:14.969 --> 00:18:16.749 Now, back to Andre. 00:18:16.749 --> 00:18:23.139 We use our mouse to hover over the arrow, click the arrow and press buy at the same time. 00:18:23.139 --> 00:18:26.599 Press once more to get the insufficent soul message. 00:18:27.774 --> 00:18:30.156 After that, open up the system menu. 00:18:30.156 --> 00:18:34.156 Hold right click, select quit game, and let go. 00:18:34.156 --> 00:18:35.796 After the message pops up, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Select any item and drop -998. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 This works for pretty much any item that can be stacked, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 but having a few thousand long swords can cause some issues 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Which of course, we can exploit. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Remember that Cleric's set we picked up earlier. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Upgrade the hat to +5 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Equip and unequip the hat, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Pop a humanity, and during the animation press the second weapon slot. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 After that, try to unequip the ring. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Finally, equip the priest's hat. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 We have now spawned a fully upgraded Black Knight Sword from thin air. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "This is like being a [BLEEP] hippopotamus."