[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.10,0:00:24.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sex as we know it\Nis very much influenced by the mind.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.14,0:00:28.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As humans, we can choose to have sex,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.62,0:00:31.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,unlike our animal friends.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.20,0:00:32.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They never think about it -
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.01,0:00:36.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it’s happening when it’s happening,\Nand it’s not when it’s not -
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.37,0:00:42.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,whereas we can choose\Nwhen to have it and how to have it.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.12,0:00:50.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sex brings joy, excitement,\Nthe possibility of love and connection.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.66,0:00:57.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It also brings sadness, unhappiness,\Ndisappointment, trauma.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.78,0:01:03.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There’s premature ejaculation,\Nerection difficulties, performance stress.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.13,0:01:11.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There’s loss of interest, lack of orgasm,\Nphysical pain during sex.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.16,0:01:13.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And as you know,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.99,0:01:17.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,couples often separate because of sex.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.73,0:01:24.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Fact is we think the climax\Nis the reason to have sex.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.66,0:01:29.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It’s what we want; it's what we expect.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:29.50,0:01:36.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So our minds have become imprinted\Nwith a certain program or agenda
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.66,0:01:42.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that makes us climax\Nor goal oriented in sex.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.70,0:01:46.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This goal brings stress and tension,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.76,0:01:49.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for example,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.58,0:01:53.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,having to deliver a good performance,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.31,0:01:55.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,making your partner happy,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.34,0:01:59.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or pleasing the partner, getting it right,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.90,0:02:03.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or having to have an orgasm,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.16,0:02:07.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or having to hold one off\Nfor as long as possible.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.69,0:02:12.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when things don’t go\Naccording to plan or wishes,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.91,0:02:17.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then possible outcomes are:
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.58,0:02:23.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we become half-hearted with each other\Nin relating and intimacy,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.60,0:02:26.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or we give up, we stop trying,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.89,0:02:30.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or we look for another partner,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.49,0:02:33.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hoping things will work out better.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:34.43,0:02:36.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, I am here to share with you
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.34,0:02:41.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that these problems\Nare not inherent to sex.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.56,0:02:45.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The problem is not sex itself,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.92,0:02:49.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the problem lies\Nwith the style of having it.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.44,0:02:57.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Our common style is "mind-filled" sex.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.09,0:03:02.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I say "mind-filled" because\Nwe're always thinking about it,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:02.36,0:03:04.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even when we're having it.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:04.16,0:03:06.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're concerned about the climax,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.58,0:03:08.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we're monitoring our own performance,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.86,0:03:11.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we're wondering how the partner is doing,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:11.24,0:03:12.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and so on.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.92,0:03:20.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if we believe and think\Nthat the climax is the reason to have sex,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.80,0:03:21.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then of course,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:21.96,0:03:28.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it has to be hot, intense,\Nbuilding up excitement and sensation.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.80,0:03:36.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But there is another style of sex,\Ncalled "mind-full" sex.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.98,0:03:41.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mindfulness is a modern word.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.20,0:03:42.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Very popular.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.70,0:03:49.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Its real meaning is awareness,\Nto be in the awareness,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.04,0:03:55.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,using the mind, yes,\Nbut using it to direct the attention
Dialogue: 0,0:03:55.32,0:03:59.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to be centered, aware\Nand present in the body;
Dialogue: 0,0:03:59.85,0:04:03.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you are not lost in thought.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.46,0:04:06.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And in mindful sex,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.72,0:04:12.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we bring that same quality of awareness,\Nlike a meditation, into the exchange.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.76,0:04:16.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Attention is directed inside the body,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:16.90,0:04:21.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and your whole body\Nis used as a sensing organ.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.58,0:04:27.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It’s more like you are being sex\Nrather than doing sex.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:27.52,0:04:29.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And just as in meditation,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:29.70,0:04:33.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as many of you know\Nfrom your own personal experience,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:33.29,0:04:37.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,aware in the here and now - no goals.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:38.34,0:04:40.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let me repeat that:
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.08,0:04:44.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In mindful sex, there are\Nno goals, even climax.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:45.19,0:04:51.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Of course, it's an option, it's a choice,\Nbut it can happen after 2-3 hours,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.11,0:04:52.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you wish.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:52.92,0:04:56.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it's not something that you work for,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.27,0:05:00.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,rather, you relax, take it easy.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:01.85,0:05:08.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Imagine for a moment that you decide\Nto spend a day in the nature.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:09.93,0:05:14.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Imagine it's a beautiful day -\Nwarm, clear skies.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:15.18,0:05:19.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And at a certain point,\Nyou need to make a choice.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:19.49,0:05:23.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you follow your\Nfavorite trail up the mountain?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:23.03,0:05:25.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or do you stay in the valley?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:26.65,0:05:29.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As much as you love going up the mountain,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:29.35,0:05:32.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on this day you decide\Nto stay in the valley,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:32.34,0:05:35.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you take a slow walk,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:35.39,0:05:37.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,explore the forest,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.72,0:05:39.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,relax by the river,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:39.68,0:05:43.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you spend that day\Nwith no particular goals in mind,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:44.59,0:05:48.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and without the strain and the effort\Nof reaching to the peaks
Dialogue: 0,0:05:48.21,0:05:50.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the tiredness that follows.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:52.25,0:05:53.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What I’m saying
Dialogue: 0,0:05:53.42,0:05:58.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is to make a conscious decision\Nto stay in the valleys
Dialogue: 0,0:05:58.80,0:06:03.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and not always searching for the peaks.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:03.84,0:06:07.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, this does sound different, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:07.19,0:06:08.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And yes,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:08.76,0:06:14.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mindful sex does require\Nthat we open our minds about sex.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:15.65,0:06:18.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And ... are you open minded?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:19.24,0:06:21.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Open to explore?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:22.42,0:06:25.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,30 years ago, I thought I was open minded.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:25.79,0:06:27.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd lived through the seventies -
Dialogue: 0,0:06:27.80,0:06:29.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sexual freedom;
Dialogue: 0,0:06:29.93,0:06:32.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I thought my sex life was great.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:32.87,0:06:36.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But then I realized\NI was going around in circles,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:36.67,0:06:39.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from falling in love\Nto falling out of love,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:39.83,0:06:42.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,over and over again.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:43.23,0:06:47.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had this growing sense\Nthat there had to be more to sex.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:47.85,0:06:51.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And, at that time, I was living in India,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:51.05,0:06:55.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that’s where I ran\Ninto this other style of sex:
Dialogue: 0,0:06:55.06,0:07:00.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"mind-full" sex, or sex with awareness.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:00.78,0:07:04.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, I spent the next five years\Npretty solidly researching,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:04.97,0:07:07.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I was not - yes, you got it -
Dialogue: 0,0:07:07.01,0:07:10.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was not in libraries reading books,\NI was researching in bed.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:10.68,0:07:12.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:13.29,0:07:14.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And, you know,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:14.82,0:07:18.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mindful sex is definitely nothing new.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:19.05,0:07:21.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It’s been there for millennia.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:21.84,0:07:25.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bringing sex together with awareness,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:25.38,0:07:29.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as a meditation,\Nas a spiritual experience,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:29.30,0:07:31.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is one of the aspects of tantra,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:31.89,0:07:34.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,an ancient body of knowledge from india.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:36.16,0:07:39.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I started out,\NI was curious - that was all -
Dialogue: 0,0:07:39.31,0:07:41.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or some may say adventurous.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:41.94,0:07:42.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Again and again,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:42.94,0:07:46.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I put this ancient teaching into practice,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:46.29,0:07:52.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and gradually, my whole experience\Nand view of sex was revolutionized.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:54.43,0:07:56.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,After a while,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:56.13,0:07:58.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,friends started coming to me\Nwith questions,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:58.31,0:08:01.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that led to me teaching,\Nand then I began to write books about it,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:01.24,0:08:05.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I’ve been involved in this way\Nfor 25 years now.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:07.31,0:08:13.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Usually, when I talk about this subject,\NI have a lot of time to go into detail -
Dialogue: 0,0:08:13.36,0:08:17.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,several days in a seminar\Nor the length of a book -
Dialogue: 0,0:08:17.37,0:08:22.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but, here, today, in this situation,\Nit's going to be a quickie.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:22.53,0:08:24.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:25.36,0:08:31.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,By now, you are probably asking yourself,\NWell, what does mindful sex look like?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:32.07,0:08:36.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it’s easiest to describe\Nby highlighting some contrasts
Dialogue: 0,0:08:36.95,0:08:41.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because when we bring mindfulness in,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:41.35,0:08:45.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,certain shifts and changes\Nbegin to happen,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:46.32,0:08:48.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for example,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:48.16,0:08:52.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from early ejaculation\Nto lasting much, much longer,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:52.28,0:08:53.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even hours,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:54.36,0:08:59.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from physical pain to physical pleasure,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:59.33,0:09:05.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from performance pressure, stress\Nto relaxing, taking it easy,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:05.40,0:09:10.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from disconnection and sadness
Dialogue: 0,0:09:10.30,0:09:14.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to feeling bonding\Nwith your partner, happy,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:14.14,0:09:17.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from loss of interest or avoidance of sex
Dialogue: 0,0:09:17.71,0:09:21.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to interest, willingness,\Nlonging returning,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:21.59,0:09:25.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from feeling used or seeing sex as duty
Dialogue: 0,0:09:25.66,0:09:29.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to feeling valued and appreciated.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:31.18,0:09:35.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So those shifts sound well and good,\Nbut actually, how do we do it?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:36.91,0:09:38.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The good, big question.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:39.08,0:09:42.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Firstly, I want to say\Nthat my own experience is male-female,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:43.23,0:09:46.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I have worked with thousands\Nof such couples over the years.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:47.23,0:09:50.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,However, I have also worked\Nwith other couple combinations,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:50.74,0:09:54.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I can say with all confidence
Dialogue: 0,0:09:54.14,0:09:56.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that awareness
Dialogue: 0,0:09:56.06,0:10:02.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,will increase the rapport, intimacy\Nand love bond with any couple,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:02.74,0:10:08.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,independently of sexual orientation\Nor gender identity.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:08.91,0:10:12.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Naturally, some of the male-female\Ndetails won't apply,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:12.95,0:10:17.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but principles\Ncan be adapted and explored.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:18.90,0:10:23.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Having said that,\Nhere's nine basic principles:
Dialogue: 0,0:10:23.91,0:10:26.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The first - very practical -\Nyou make a date;
Dialogue: 0,0:10:26.31,0:10:30.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you set aside two, three hours\Nor more undisturbed time.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:30.89,0:10:32.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This works very well for women
Dialogue: 0,0:10:32.74,0:10:36.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because the female body\Nwarms up and opens up to sex
Dialogue: 0,0:10:36.88,0:10:39.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,much more slowly than the male body.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:39.93,0:10:42.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When the female body is open and ready,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:42.78,0:10:47.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this will completely raise\Nthe quality of the exchange for both.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:49.04,0:10:51.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For men, having a date is very helpful
Dialogue: 0,0:10:51.01,0:10:53.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because men are often walking around
Dialogue: 0,0:10:53.62,0:10:57.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wondering when they will next\Nbe able to have sex again -
Dialogue: 0,0:10:59.80,0:11:00.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for sure.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:00.86,0:11:07.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if he knows it’s going to happen\Ntomorrow night - or tonight -
Dialogue: 0,0:11:07.42,0:11:10.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then he is much more relaxed,\Npresent, centered
Dialogue: 0,0:11:10.79,0:11:13.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with himself and with you.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:16.02,0:11:19.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The next prinicple is the most important,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:19.89,0:11:21.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that is …
Dialogue: 0,0:11:21.55,0:11:24.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you get this one,\Nthen everything else just flows.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:24.95,0:11:29.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Your intention is to be\Nas aware and present as possible,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:30.16,0:11:32.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you take it moment by moment.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:33.81,0:11:37.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The next, again and again,\Nyou scan your body -
Dialogue: 0,0:11:37.39,0:11:40.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,relax it, relax tensions;
Dialogue: 0,0:11:41.02,0:11:45.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you check your jaw, shoulders, belly,\Ngenitals, buttocks, anus;
Dialogue: 0,0:11:46.16,0:11:48.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you do that repeatedly.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:49.00,0:11:53.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The next is you breathe deep -\Ninstead of breathing shallow -
Dialogue: 0,0:11:54.05,0:11:58.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you breathe deep and slow\Ninto the belly, into the genitals.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:59.83,0:12:00.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The next,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:00.87,0:12:04.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,instead of entering the body\Nfast and forcefully,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:04.36,0:12:06.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you enter very consciously
Dialogue: 0,0:12:06.70,0:12:10.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and open the canal\Nmillimeter by millimeter,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:10.44,0:12:14.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you use lubrication\Nto ease that entry.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:15.58,0:12:16.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The next,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:16.88,0:12:21.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,instead of mechanical, back-and-forth\Nfriction type movements,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:22.02,0:12:24.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,each movement is done with awareness,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:24.37,0:12:28.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that naturally creates slowness,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:28.02,0:12:31.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that increases your sensitivity.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:32.48,0:12:36.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Instead of building up\Nand building up excitement,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:36.06,0:12:37.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you relax into it -
Dialogue: 0,0:12:37.73,0:12:40.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a little excitement and then relax,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:40.17,0:12:43.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a little excitement and then relax.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:43.99,0:12:48.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Instead of eyes closed\Nand being involved in thought or fantasy,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:48.52,0:12:51.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,your eyes are open,\Nyou're present, you're here,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:51.24,0:12:53.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you have eye contact if you wish,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:53.73,0:12:55.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and at any time,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:55.25,0:13:00.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can share in words\Nwhat you feel and experience in your body.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:01.35,0:13:03.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the last,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:03.58,0:13:05.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have a sense of humor
Dialogue: 0,0:13:05.42,0:13:09.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because, really, funny things do happen,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:09.28,0:13:14.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we all know it's so healthy and good\Nto have a good laugh.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:15.25,0:13:18.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But you laugh at yourself\Nand not your partner, please.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:18.20,0:13:19.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:13:20.99,0:13:22.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In summary,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:22.84,0:13:27.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mindful sex is about staying\Nin the cooler zones
Dialogue: 0,0:13:27.31,0:13:30.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and not getting too hot and excited.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:31.46,0:13:33.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sex is like fire:
Dialogue: 0,0:13:33.30,0:13:36.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you add wood too quickly,\Nlet it burn bright,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:36.48,0:13:39.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it will create beautiful blazing flames,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:39.97,0:13:43.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but very soon, that fire will die down,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:43.26,0:13:48.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,whereas if you add the wood\Npiece by piece by piece by piece
Dialogue: 0,0:13:48.36,0:13:50.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and keep the flame low,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:50.30,0:13:54.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then that same fire\Nwill last the whole night through.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:55.50,0:14:00.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I’m not saying that you have\Nto forego mind-filled sex
Dialogue: 0,0:14:01.42,0:14:07.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but just to be aware that problems\Nare created through that style.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:07.31,0:14:11.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So try to open your mind\Nand give yourself other options.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:15.55,0:14:18.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Have mind-filled sex when you want -
Dialogue: 0,0:14:18.41,0:14:19.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,rush, a quick high -
Dialogue: 0,0:14:19.96,0:14:26.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have mindful sex when you want to nurture\Nthe love and the connection between you.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:28.01,0:14:30.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In my learning path,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:30.17,0:14:33.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how I felt afterwards\Nwas the most important,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:33.37,0:14:35.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the greatest teacher -
Dialogue: 0,0:14:35.33,0:14:38.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not immediately after\Nbut in the days following too.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:40.09,0:14:42.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So next time, afterwards, have a look.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:42.61,0:14:45.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Allow yourself to look and feel
Dialogue: 0,0:14:45.86,0:14:49.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what that style is doing to you\Non a deeper level.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:50.14,0:14:51.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For example,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:51.14,0:14:53.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the climax might have been great,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:53.05,0:14:57.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but afterwards you feel\Na bit tired or disconnected or sad,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:57.30,0:15:00.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,maybe irritable or aggressive,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:00.07,0:15:02.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,whereas if you stay in the cooler style,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:03.81,0:15:09.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you might notice you feel\Nrefreshed, energized, uplifted
Dialogue: 0,0:15:09.04,0:15:12.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and more in love with your partner.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:13.50,0:15:14.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now …
Dialogue: 0,0:15:14.86,0:15:19.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the most important thing I ask you\Nis: Don't believe me.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:19.62,0:15:20.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:15:21.44,0:15:25.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Try it for yourself,\Nand prove it to yourself.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:26.56,0:15:33.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It’s a doorway so close to home\Nit’s easy to pass it by or overlook it.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:33.42,0:15:37.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But just around the corner - just a turn -
Dialogue: 0,0:15:37.11,0:15:40.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and a whole new universe opens up.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:42.34,0:15:44.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,30 years ago, I could never have imagined
Dialogue: 0,0:15:44.82,0:15:47.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that changing the way I made love
Dialogue: 0,0:15:47.12,0:15:51.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would mean that I spend\Nthe rest of my days talking about sex,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:51.95,0:15:55.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,especially in a forum such as this one.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:55.06,0:15:59.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I am here, without goal or agenda,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:59.15,0:16:02.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to share with you a life-changing truth:
Dialogue: 0,0:16:02.10,0:16:05.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that awareness in sex
Dialogue: 0,0:16:05.39,0:16:11.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,creates love, generates love\Nand nurtures connection.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:12.26,0:16:13.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I dream of a world
Dialogue: 0,0:16:13.51,0:16:17.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where we don’t only fall in love\Nand then fall out of love,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:17.92,0:16:21.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but where we rise in love, together.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:22.45,0:16:27.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let us begin the true sexual revolution
Dialogue: 0,0:16:27.16,0:16:31.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and create a new experience for humanity.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:33.25,0:16:36.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A world where couples live in harmony,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:36.83,0:16:39.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where sex improves\Nthe longer you are together,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:40.41,0:16:46.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where sex brings healing,\Nconnection, confidence, clarity,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:47.21,0:16:51.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where sex invites love and peace on earth.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:52.81,0:16:54.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ladies and gentlemen,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:54.46,0:16:58.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wish you a courageous heart\Nand a spirit of adventure!
Dialogue: 0,0:16:58.46,0:17:00.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you!
Dialogue: 0,0:17:00.05,0:17:02.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause) (Cheers)