0:00:02.377,0:00:07.340 (pensive music)[br](wind whistles) 0:00:26.985,0:00:28.695 - [Esteban] The way that[br]my paintings develop 0:00:28.695,0:00:33.533 is in a very intuitive[br]approach of what I feel, 0:00:33.533,0:00:37.412 what I respond to, but also[br]searching for who I am. 0:00:41.708,0:00:43.126 Growing up along the border 0:00:43.126,0:00:46.004 and not being connected[br]to a lot of my heritage, 0:00:46.004,0:00:49.132 I have had to find it on my own. 0:00:52.927,0:00:55.764 The process of art as being[br]like a healing gesture 0:00:55.764,0:00:58.058 of connecting to these histories, 0:00:58.058,0:01:02.145 but then also reconnecting my[br]relationship back to the land 0:01:02.145,0:01:06.983 and to learning these histories[br]before we lose them to time. 0:01:06.983,0:01:11.988 (clock ticks)[br](pensive music continues) 0:01:17.786,0:01:20.455 (wind whistles) 0:01:24.584,0:01:27.420 (water trickles) 0:01:27.420,0:01:31.216 The way my process works[br]is based on the concept 0:01:31.216,0:01:34.344 of a tesseract, where you[br]have four different layers 0:01:34.344,0:01:36.429 or four different dimensions inside of it. 0:01:38.264,0:01:41.518 First, I start out by dyeing[br]the canvas with cochineal. 0:01:43.686,0:01:48.066 Cochineal dye operates as[br]almost like an astral plane 0:01:50.068,0:01:54.447 that looks similar to the[br]way physicists map space. 0:01:54.447,0:01:59.202 These spiral forms in my[br]paintings are about solstices. 0:01:59.202,0:02:01.746 Indigenous societies had the capability 0:02:01.746,0:02:05.250 of modeling time without[br]industrial technology, 0:02:07.961,0:02:10.922 and then building up the next image 0:02:10.922,0:02:15.176 where I'm thinking about[br]pre-colonial histories 0:02:15.176,0:02:19.848 and what advanced structures predate 1492. 0:02:21.558,0:02:24.310 The third layer involves[br]observational painting 0:02:24.310,0:02:26.271 that I do on site. 0:02:27.647,0:02:29.399 - Yeah, that's looking pretty good. 0:02:30.608,0:02:33.570 - [Esteban] Heidi's been[br]my partner for 10 years. 0:02:35.864,0:02:37.031 I'm asking for feedback, 0:02:37.031,0:02:39.993 but I'm also giving support where I can 0:02:39.993,0:02:41.619 with Heidi's process. 0:02:46.666,0:02:49.961 The fourth layer that[br]I do is thinking about 0:02:49.961,0:02:54.966 a post-colonial future where[br]it's optimistic and healing. 0:02:58.928,0:03:02.140 These layers don't sit[br]parallel to one another 0:03:02.140,0:03:04.726 because there are multiple[br]dimensions that are existing 0:03:04.726,0:03:06.311 alongside of all of us. 0:03:10.648,0:03:14.152 Painting is that device[br]that can defy time. 0:03:14.152,0:03:16.654 (clock ticks) 0:03:22.994,0:03:26.664 What I want my viewer to[br]experience is this paradox 0:03:26.664,0:03:28.958 where you can go backwards in time. 0:03:39.802,0:03:42.305 (wind rushes) 0:03:53.650,0:03:57.362 I think the land speaks to[br]you when you're looking at it. 0:03:57.362,0:04:01.157 (cicadas chirruping) 0:04:01.157,0:04:03.159 Why I continue to go back to New Mexico 0:04:03.159,0:04:04.786 is to reconnect with my past. 0:04:07.664,0:04:10.416 My father's family was from New Mexico, 0:04:10.416,0:04:13.670 and my mom's from San Ysidro, California, 0:04:13.670,0:04:15.880 but born in Tijuana. 0:04:19.175,0:04:22.470 I can't really explain[br]how much spiritual freedom 0:04:22.470,0:04:23.805 I sense when I'm there. 0:04:30.937,0:04:33.898 I go outdoor painting,[br]doing plein-air painting, 0:04:33.898,0:04:37.652 and in some ways it's about endurance. 0:04:43.283,0:04:47.829 You go out to a specific[br]site with a certain intention 0:04:47.829,0:04:50.164 but then nature guides you. 0:04:53.793,0:04:55.920 Time is shifting also. 0:04:57.130,0:05:00.550 Not only am I kind of building[br]these multiple dimensions, 0:05:00.550,0:05:02.802 I'm also literally chasing after light. 0:05:09.017,0:05:11.769 (footsteps crunch) 0:05:11.769,0:05:14.272 (birds chirp) 0:05:15.565,0:05:20.570 (clock ticks)[br](gentle music) 0:05:21.237,0:05:25.074 Landscape painting for me, feels like 0:05:25.074,0:05:28.619 what all of our ancestors[br]used to do in the caves. 0:05:29.829,0:05:32.415 That's where we all began[br]thinking about space 0:05:32.415,0:05:34.208 but not severing it. 0:05:42.717,0:05:45.887 Colonial era painting came[br]into the United States 0:05:45.887,0:05:50.141 with the project of showing[br]how nature needs to be tamed 0:05:50.141,0:05:53.144 and all the savages need to be converted 0:05:53.144,0:05:54.520 and turned into men. 0:05:55.688,0:05:59.901 What I'm trying to do with[br]my work is deconstruct 0:05:59.901,0:06:01.027 what we're seeing. 0:06:03.112,0:06:05.573 Who used to live there,[br]who still lives there. 0:06:08.242,0:06:11.746 How do I utilize the language[br]of painting to expand 0:06:11.746,0:06:15.166 our vision of where we could[br]think about space and time. 0:06:21.798,0:06:24.801 Landscape painting can[br]start two dimensionally 0:06:24.801,0:06:27.970 but I think it could also expand[br]out into a whole worldview 0:06:27.970,0:06:30.765 to treat people in more equitable ways. 0:06:30.765,0:06:35.353 (subway announcer speaks)[br](gentle orchestral music) 0:06:35.353,0:06:37.939 (train clacks) 0:06:49.325,0:06:51.828 (clock ticks) 0:07:02.255,0:07:03.881 It's crazy how much more fencing 0:07:03.881,0:07:05.591 they kind of put up around here 0:07:05.591,0:07:07.927 since we last were here, Mom?[br]- Oh yeah. 0:07:11.305,0:07:13.808 We used to consider this[br]a place where you could 0:07:13.808,0:07:15.101 just like, really run around 0:07:15.101,0:07:17.311 and especially when you're kids. 0:07:19.355,0:07:21.691 I would have never expected 0:07:21.691,0:07:26.696 that what I took as natural[br]and day-to-day, would change. 0:07:30.241,0:07:32.827 - [Esteban] It's weird to[br]just be here and making it 0:07:32.827,0:07:36.372 an image that we've seen[br]so much in mass media. 0:07:36.372,0:07:38.833 What can I say about it that isn't just 0:07:38.833,0:07:40.835 like something that's trying to define us? 0:07:44.046,0:07:46.674 - I think the privilege of having lived 0:07:46.674,0:07:51.679 a long life is that you know[br]that that is not permanent. 0:07:51.679,0:07:52.930 - Yeah. 0:07:52.930,0:07:56.976 - That at some point that[br]fence is going to go down, 0:07:56.976,0:08:01.814 but I have to bring back[br]a memory of this space 0:08:01.814,0:08:05.443 without the fences because[br]otherwise I go crazy. 0:08:08.571,0:08:10.907 You know, it's just really hard. 0:08:14.368,0:08:15.203 It's just really hard 0:08:15.203,0:08:19.540 to see the fences.[br]- Yeah, (sniffs) 0:08:19.540,0:08:21.167 thank you for sharing that, Mom. 0:08:23.211,0:08:25.671 We have to express it though too, 0:08:25.671,0:08:27.882 in order to get past it and imagine 0:08:27.882,0:08:29.133 something bigger than it. 0:08:30.384,0:08:35.389 (gentle music)[br](clock ticks) 0:08:41.979,0:08:44.148 - We never knew if they[br]were coming for coffee. 0:08:44.148,0:08:46.692 (speaks in Spanish)[br]- Or spending the night. 0:08:46.692,0:08:49.487 - Spending the night or-[br]- Some of the core themes 0:08:49.487,0:08:53.824 of my work are about freedom. 0:08:53.824,0:08:56.494 (pensive music) 0:08:58.913,0:09:01.123 Freedom to really express yourself 0:09:01.123,0:09:04.001 and your relationship to[br]space and the environment. 0:09:05.753,0:09:09.674 Justice, how can you[br]do justice to the past? 0:09:11.842,0:09:14.011 And I think, also joy. 0:09:14.011,0:09:17.932 (gentle piano music continues) 0:09:33.072,0:09:35.616 I didn't start speaking till I was five 0:09:35.616,0:09:38.160 so painting was that way[br]for me to communicate 0:09:38.160,0:09:39.203 with other people. 0:09:42.164,0:09:43.958 I didn't have to explain myself. 0:09:47.587,0:09:51.382 Painting has always been[br]that method to go backwards 0:09:51.382,0:09:54.510 in time into that mode[br]of the five-year-old, 0:09:54.510,0:09:56.345 where I'm just feeling. 0:10:00.641,0:10:01.809 There's no words for it.