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(pensive music)
(wind whistles)

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- [Esteban] The way that
my paintings develop

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is in a very intuitive
approach of what I feel,

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what I respond to, but also
searching for who I am.

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Growing up along the border

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and not being connected
to a lot of my heritage,

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I have had to find it on my own.

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The process of art as being
like a healing gesture

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of connecting to these histories,

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but then also reconnecting my
relationship back to the land

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and to learning these histories
before we lose them to time.

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(clock ticks)
(pensive music continues)

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(wind whistles)

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(water trickles)

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The way my process works
is based on the concept

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of a tesseract, where you
have four different layers

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or four different dimensions inside of it.

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First, I start out by dyeing
the canvas with cochineal.

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Cochineal dye operates as
almost like an astral plane

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that looks similar to the
way physicists map space.

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These spiral forms in my
paintings are about solstices.

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Indigenous societies had the capability

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of modeling time without
industrial technology,

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and then building up the next image

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where I'm thinking about
pre-colonial histories

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and what advanced structures predate 1492.

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The third layer involves
observational painting

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that I do on site.

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- Yeah, that's looking pretty good.

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- [Esteban] Heidi's been
my partner for 10 years.

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I'm asking for feedback,

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but I'm also giving support where I can

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with Heidi's process.

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The fourth layer that
I do is thinking about

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a post-colonial future where
it's optimistic and healing.

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These layers don't sit
parallel to one another

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because there are multiple
dimensions that are existing

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alongside of all of us.

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Painting is that device
that can defy time.

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(clock ticks)

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What I want my viewer to
experience is this paradox

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where you can go backwards in time.

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(wind rushes)

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I think the land speaks to
you when you're looking at it.

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(cicadas chirruping)

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Why I continue to go back to New Mexico

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is to reconnect with my past.

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My father's family was from New Mexico,

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and my mom's from San Ysidro, California,

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but born in Tijuana.

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I can't really explain
how much spiritual freedom

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I sense when I'm there.

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I go outdoor painting,
doing plein-air painting,

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and in some ways it's about endurance.

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You go out to a specific
site with a certain intention

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but then nature guides you.

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Time is shifting also.

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Not only am I kind of building
these multiple dimensions,

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I'm also literally chasing after light.

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(footsteps crunch)

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(birds chirp)

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(clock ticks)
(gentle music)

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Landscape painting for me, feels like

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what all of our ancestors
used to do in the caves.

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That's where we all began
thinking about space

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but not severing it.

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Colonial era painting came
into the United States

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with the project of showing
how nature needs to be tamed

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and all the savages need to be converted

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and turned into men.

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What I'm trying to do with
my work is deconstruct

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what we're seeing.

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Who used to live there,
who still lives there.

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How do I utilize the language
of painting to expand

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our vision of where we could
think about space and time.

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Landscape painting can
start two dimensionally

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but I think it could also expand
out into a whole worldview

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to treat people in more equitable ways.

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(subway announcer speaks)
(gentle orchestral music)

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(train clacks)

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(clock ticks)

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It's crazy how much more fencing

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they kind of put up around here

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since we last were here, Mom?
- Oh yeah.

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We used to consider this
a place where you could

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just like, really run around

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and especially when you're kids.

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I would have never expected

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that what I took as natural
and day-to-day, would change.

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- [Esteban] It's weird to
just be here and making it

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an image that we've seen
so much in mass media.

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What can I say about it that isn't just

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like something that's trying to define us?

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- I think the privilege of having lived

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a long life is that you know
that that is not permanent.

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- Yeah.

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- That at some point that
fence is going to go down,

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but I have to bring back
a memory of this space

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without the fences because
otherwise I go crazy.

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You know, it's just really hard.

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It's just really hard

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to see the fences.
- Yeah, (sniffs)

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thank you for sharing that, Mom.

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We have to express it though too,

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in order to get past it and imagine

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something bigger than it.

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(gentle music)
(clock ticks)

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- We never knew if they
were coming for coffee.

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(speaks in Spanish)
- Or spending the night.

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- Spending the night or-
- Some of the core themes

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of my work are about freedom.

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(pensive music)

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Freedom to really express yourself

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and your relationship to
space and the environment.

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Justice, how can you
do justice to the past?

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And I think, also joy.

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(gentle piano music continues)

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I didn't start speaking till I was five

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so painting was that way
for me to communicate

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with other people.

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I didn't have to explain myself.

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Painting has always been
that method to go backwards

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in time into that mode
of the five-year-old,

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where I'm just feeling.

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There's no words for it.