- Thanks again for stopping by.
- Oh thanks, man.

- I know Avengers is gonna be huge
and I'm always impressed,

especially because, obviously,
you are a far cry

from that character we see on screen.

- The thing is, actually, people think 
Loki's this huge stretch for me

but actually I'm quite like Loki.
- Yeah.

You're... you're a Norse god.
(both laugh)

- Obviously not with the, you know--
(odd sound effect)

But, you know, I like a good prank.

I'm a bit of a prankster.

I can be... I can be pretty menacing.

(ominous music)

I can go there.

- Did something happen?
Am I missing something?

- I'm the prankster!

I'm the god of mischief!

(deranged laugh)

I am the bad guy! (deranged laugh)

I am the god of mischief, 
right here, right now.

(deranged laugh)

- Hey, Tom.
- Hey, man.

- How's it going?
- Yeah, good, good.

How's the afternoon?
- It's good.

Just need that coffee fix, you know?

- God, I totally know.

Listen, I just made this.
A cup of coffee.

- Thank you.
- Freshly brewed.

- Okay.
- By the Loki-lizer.

- All right... thanks.

- I can't survive without this stuff.

- Yeah, it's like the gas in my engine.

(both laugh)

- I totally know what you mean,

except the funny thing 
about that coffee is, um...

there's no gas in the engine.

- What do you-- what are you talking about?

- Well, there's no caffeine in it.

It's a decaf.
I took the caffeine out.

I decaffed it.

Decaffinato.

- That's--
- Decaffinited.

- You got me.
- Yep! No caffeine.

You're gonna be so sleepy later.

Decaf!
- Yep.

- And you needed caffeine!

(deranged laugh)

It's a prank!
- All right, Tom.

- You're gonna be so sleepy!

You're not gonna be able to stay awake.

You're gonna look like such an ass!
- Yup.

- Loki'd!

- Probably about 10 bucks, right?

- Actually, it's been paid for already.
- What?

(deranged laugh)

- You're such an idiot!

I bought your lunch for you!

(chuckling)

You've been Loki'd again!

Loki'd!
- Okay. You got me again.

- (deranged laugh) I'm the bad guy.

- Oh god, I am moving slow today, man.

(clears throat) I got
a delivery for a "Horowitz".

- (sternly) Tom, enough.

- Tom? Who's Tom?
- You're Tom.

- No, I'm Steve.
- You're Tom Hiddleston

and you've been playing stupid pranks 
all day and I want it to stop.

And that's your moustache, 
I suppose, that you grew.

- Yeah, man, this is my pride and joy.

This is Wendy.
- That's Wendy?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

- Look, I got a delivery for you.
It's mixed peanuts.

You want the peanuts?
- Just give them to me.

- Definitely no snakes in there!

I'm not sure who it's from.

- You know what? I'm sick of the pranks.

Just leave.
- Whoa! Whoa!

(boxes clatter)

- Oh god!
- I think I broke my back.

- Hey, buddy. How's it going?

- (delivery man) I can't move!

- What the fuck?
- Oh my god.

- I think I've broken my back. Oh god.

- What'd you do to him?

- I thought he was you.
He looks exactly like you.

- Josh, he looks nothing like me.
He has a moustache.

(groaning in pain)

- He was gonna deliver you
a can of peanuts or something.

We were chatting in the elevator.

- I feel a bone coming out of my back!

It's... it's touching the floor!

- I'm sorry, Steve.
- God!

Josh Horowitz ruined my life!

- Steve, it's okay, man.
Just hang in there.

Listen, Josh, we got
to get you out of here.

The cops will be here any second.

And you're gonna 
go down, I'm afraid, buddy.

That's it. It's all over for you.

- I hate you!

- Just hang in there.

The ambulance is coming. I love you.

- Loki'd!

(ominous music)

(rapping at door)

- Hello?

- Hi, Josh, it's Tom.
It's Tom Hiddleston.

I just need to have a quick word.
Is that all right?

- Yeah, are you okay? Tom?

Oh my god.

- Well, hey.
- Hi, Steve.

- Yeah. How are you, Josh?

- I'm great. I see you're in a--
- A wheelchair.

Oh yeah. You betcha.

I still got bones 
sticking out of my back, man.

You know what the doctor said?
- What's that?

- He said he'd never seen so much bone
sticking out of one man's back.

- Oh, that's an unusual, um--

- There's a lot of bone down there.

- Well, um, you seem healthy otherwise.

- Yeah, I'm pretty healthy.

My wife... she left me.

She doesn't love me any more,

and I'll never feel her body 
against mine one more time.

No more bodies for me.

- I always meant to visit you
in the hospital.

I just, uh-- I was 
really busy this last year.

- Oh, yeah? You were busy?
What were you doing?

- I just had some-- work's been really busy.

- What do you do?

Do you deliver things 
for people like I used to do?

You like public service?

- Look, what can I do for you?

I'm happy to help in any way I can.

- I know what you can do for me.

- What? What can I do for you?

- You can die, Josh Horowitz.
- No, no, no.

NO, NO, NO!
(bang!)

(bang!)
(Josh moans)

- Oh yeah, that's how we do it.

Yippie kay ey, motherfucker.

(bang!)

(deranged laughter)

Loki'd! (deranged laugh)

I am the bad guy!

I can't believe he even fell for that!

You're such an idiot!

(deranged laugh)

This is my escape plan! 
Goodbye, Josh!

See you in the next life. (deranged laugh)

I am the bad guy! (deranged laugh)

(voice fading) Goodbye!