[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.85,0:00:06.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The first time I uttered a prayer\Nwas in a glass-stained cathedral.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:06.40,0:00:09.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was kneeling long after\Nthe congregation was on its feet,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:09.79,0:00:11.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,dip both hands into holy water,\N
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.70,0:00:13.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,trace the trinity across my chest,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.55,0:00:16.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my tiny body drooping \Nlike a question mark
Dialogue: 0,0:00:16.38,0:00:18.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all over the wooden pew.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.67,0:00:21.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I asked Jesus to fix me,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.34,0:00:23.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when he did not answer
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.46,0:00:26.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I befriended silence in the hopes\Nthat my sin would burn
Dialogue: 0,0:00:26.14,0:00:27.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and salve my mouth
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.63,0:00:29.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would dissolve like sugar on tongue,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.46,0:00:31.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but shame lingered as an aftertaste.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.38,0:00:34.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And in an attempt\Nto reintroduce me to sanctity,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.94,0:00:37.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my mother told me of the miracle I was,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.86,0:00:40.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,said I could grow up \Nto be anything I want.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.86,0:00:43.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I decided to
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.07,0:00:44.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,be a boy.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.23,0:00:45.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was cute.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.22,0:00:47.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had snapback, toothless grin,\N
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.01,0:00:48.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,used skinned knees as street cred,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.85,0:00:51.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,played hide and seek with \Nwhat was left of my goal.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.28,0:00:52.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was it.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.20,0:00:54.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The winner to a game \Nthe other kids couldn't play,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.63,0:00:56.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was the mystery of an anatomy,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.81,0:00:58.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a question asked but not answered,\N
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.62,0:01:02.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tightroping between awkward boy\Nand apologetic girl,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.92,0:01:07.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when I turned 12, the boy phase\Nwasn't deemed cute anymore.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:07.66,0:01:13.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was met with nostalgic aunts who missed\Nseeing my knees in the shadow of skirts,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.30,0:01:17.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who reminded me that my kind of attitude\Nwould never bring a husband home,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.55,0:01:21.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I exist for heterosexual marriage\Nand child-bearing.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:21.17,0:01:24.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I swallowed their insults\Nalong with their slurs.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.100,0:01:27.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Naturally, I did not\Ncome out of the closet.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.72,0:01:30.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The kids at my school opened it\Nwithout my permission.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.43,0:01:32.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Called me by a name I did not recognize,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:32.89,0:01:34.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,said "lesbian,"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:34.12,0:01:36.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I was more boy than girl,\Nmore Ken than Barbie.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.70,0:01:38.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It had nothing to do with hating my body,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.90,0:01:41.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I just love it enough to let it go,\N
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.02,0:01:42.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I treat it like a house,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.41,0:01:44.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when your house is falling apart,\N
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.24,0:01:45.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you do not evacuate,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.22,0:01:49.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you make it comfortable enough\Nto house all your insides,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.02,0:01:51.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you make it pretty enough\Nto invite guests over,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.38,0:01:55.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you make the floorboards\Nstrong enough to stand on.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.90,0:02:00.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My mother fears I have named\Nmyself after fading things.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.92,0:02:03.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As she counts the echoes\Nleft behind by Mya Hall,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.94,0:02:06.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Leelah Alcorn, Blake Brockington.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.49,0:02:08.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She fears that I'll die without a whisper,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.70,0:02:11.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I'll turn into "what a shame"\Nconversations at the bus stop.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:11.76,0:02:14.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She claims I have turned myself\Ninto a mausoleum,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.41,0:02:16.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I am a walking casket,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.04,0:02:19.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,news headlines have turned\Nmy identity into a spectacle,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.24,0:02:22.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bruce Jenner on everyone's lips\Nwhile the brutality of living in this body
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.100,0:02:26.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,becomes an asterisk \Nat the bottom of equality pages.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.54,0:02:29.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No one ever thinks of us as human
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.64,0:02:31.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because we are more ghost than flesh,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.80,0:02:34.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because people fear that\Nmy gender expression is a trick,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:34.49,0:02:36.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that it exists to be perverse,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.35,0:02:38.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that it ensnares them\Nwithout their consent,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:38.39,0:02:41.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that my body is a feast\Nfor their eyes and hands
Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.09,0:02:43.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and once they have fed off my queer,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.39,0:02:46.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they'll regurgitate all the parts\Nthey did not like.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.39,0:02:50.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They'll put me back into the closet,\Nhang me with all the other skeletons.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.75,0:02:53.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I will be the best attraction.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.16,0:02:56.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Can you see how easy it is\Nto talk people into coffins,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.24,0:02:58.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to misspell their names on gravestones.\N
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.81,0:03:01.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And people still wonder why\Nthere are boys rotting,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.27,0:03:03.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they go away\Nin high school hallways
Dialogue: 0,0:03:03.66,0:03:06.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they are afraid of becoming another\Nhashtag in a second
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.56,0:03:10.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,afraid of classroom discussions\Nbecoming like judgment day
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.44,0:03:16.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and now oncoming traffic is embracing\Nmore transgender children than parents.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:17.06,0:03:18.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wonder how long it will be
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.81,0:03:22.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,before the trans suicide notes\Nstart to feel redundant,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.49,0:03:26.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,before we realize that our bodies\Nbecome lessons about sin
Dialogue: 0,0:03:26.11,0:03:28.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,way before we learn how to love them.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.15,0:03:32.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like God didn't save\Nall this breath and mercy,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:32.08,0:03:35.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like my blood is not the wine\Nthat washed over Jesus' feet.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.65,0:03:39.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My prayers are now\Ngetting stuck in my throat.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.04,0:03:43.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe I am finally fixed,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:43.18,0:03:45.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,maybe I just don't care,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:45.43,0:03:50.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,maybe God finally listened to my prayers.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.14,0:03:51.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.60,0:03:53.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)