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[Universal Theme]

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[Rain drops falling with musical notes]

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The Cat in the Hat presents

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Dr. Seuss "The Cat in the Hat"

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[Music playing]

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Narrator: The sun did not shine, it was too wet to play.

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Just sit in the house all that cold, cold, wet day.

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Mom: Goodbye kids, I'm leaving now.

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Have fun! I'll be back at -uh- 3:30 sharp.

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Narrator: Sit by the window, just sit there and stew and wish there were something...

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[narrator yawns], something to do. Too gooey and dunky outdoors to play ball.

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[inaudible] nothing at all.

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Singers: [singing] Fun, fun, how can you have fun?

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Just sitting doing nothing when there's nothing to be done.

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Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing absolutely nothing, nothing.

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Positively, absolutely, absotively, posolutely, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing to be done.

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Narrator: Nothing to do but sit, sit, sit.

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Just sit in the the house. Just sit there and grubble, and...all of a sudden...

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Something went...BUMP!

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Girl: Look!

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Boy: A cat!

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Girl: In a hat!

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Cat: You will note, I am neat, wiped my feet on the mat.

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Cat: Why must you- why do you sit there like that?

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I know it is wet and the sun is not sunny

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I know it is damp and the sidewalks are runny.

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But what I can't see-

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Fish: Now you listen here cat-

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Cat: -is why you'd sit there like that.

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Cat: I know some good games we could play.

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Fish: Listen cat-

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Cat: I know some great tricks!

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Fish: Listen cat in the hat-

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Cat: I know that your mother won't mind if I do and I'm simply itching to show them you...and to you.

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Fish: Out of this house. I'm warning you. Get-

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Cat: Who's that? I believe we haven't yet met.

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Fish: The name is Krinklebine. Carlos K. Krinklebine.

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Cat: Ooh.

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Fish: Now please go away. Tell that top-hatted cat he should not be about.

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He should not be here when your mother is out.

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Cat: My dear Mr. Krinklebine, my tricks are quite safe.

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I invite you to join in the fun if you wish. A game that I call "Up up up with a fish".

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Fish: Put me down. P-P-Put me down you fool cat!

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Outrageous. Now let me repeat, and I don't like to shout, but he should not be here when your mother is out!

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Cat: It's up to you kids. Whatever you say. If you think me untrustworthy, send me away.

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Girl: Well, he is getting the house sort of messy and dirty.

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And mother-

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Boy: Yeah mother, back home at 3:30.

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Cat: Hmm. A vote of no confidence.

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I most humbly bow to voice of the majority.

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Goodbye now. Off to Siberia.

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Ha!

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Somebody stole my moss covered three handled family gradunza.

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Nobody's gonna leave this room until I find it!

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Boy: Pardon me sir, you lost a moss covered what?

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Cat: Three handled family gradunza.

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Fish: Hmph.

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Cat: So, that's your attitude, hey Krinklestein? Did you steal it?

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There's a gradunza snitcher in the house.

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Things'll never be the same. [Singing] How dear to my heart was that beautiful gredunza.

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That my old feline father bequeath-ed to me.

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That old family gredunza. The old three handled family gredunza.

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The ol' moss covered three handled family gredunzaaaaaaa!

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That hung on the family tree.

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I've been burgled, flurtled, by a fish.

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Boy: Aww, give it back to him Mr. Krinklebine.

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Girl: Come on now, don't be mean.

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Fish: But I didn't steal his what-sis.

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I'm clean!

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Cat: Flurtled a fish.

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[Singing] I'll never see my darling

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moss covered

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three handled

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family gredunza

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anymore.

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Fish: By the way cat, just what is a family gredunza?

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Cat: Oh they come in all styles, from triple-G to minus Ot.

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Boy: Is it bigger than a-

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Cat: Occasionally, but on most occasions not.

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Girl: Is it smaller than a-

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Cat: They no longer make that kind.

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But one family gredunza is always smaller than another.

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[Singing] Should all family gredunzas be forgot and never brought to my-

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[talking] -now if I were a fish, where would I hide a moss covered three handled family gredunza?

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Boy: Whatever it is, it isn't here.

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Girl: And whatever it is it isn't here!

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Cat: Wherever it is, it is left in some lurch.

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Wherever it is we must speed up the search.

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Fish: I'll tell you this, it's not in the Unabridged dictionary.

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But let's find this thing and get rid of that cat!

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Cat: There are more [clears throat] scientific methods of searching than that.

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Fish: And just what kind of science does the cat recommend?

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Cat: Why the principle of calculatus eliminatus my friend.

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Fish: Calculatus what?

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Calculatus...eliminatus.

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I went to Cat-tech where I studied the same.

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What other cats you know could make such a claim?

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Very well Dr. Calculatus.

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Find it and eliminatus yourself!

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I shall indeed.

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[Singing] When you've mislaid a certain something keep your cool and don't get hot.

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Calculatus eliminatus is the best friend that you've got.

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Calculatus eliminatus always helps an awful lot.

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A way to find a missing something is to find out where it's not.

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It isn't here, I'll mark this 'X'.

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It isn't there, I'll mark that 'Y'.

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It isn't underneath the apple, mark the apple 'HKI'.

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It isn't in this keyhole.

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No?

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And it isn't on my knee.

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Cat: Hmm.

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Mark the keyhole 'K-300', mark the knee '5-7-B'.

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We just jot down all the places where it isn't and gee-whiz!

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Very shortly we will locate where the missing object is.

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It isn't here.

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Cat: 8-42-J.

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It isn't there.

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Cat: F-6-O-7.

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You can mark the piano 22000 -decimal point- 11.

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It isn't in the icebox.

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Cat: That's strange.

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It's not on this TV.

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Cat: Hrmm.

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Icebox O-24 and a half. TV 1 million and 3.

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When you've mislaid a certain something keep your cool don't go to pot.

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All: Calculatus eliminatus is the best friend that've got. Calculatus eliminatus always helps an awful lot.

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Cat: The way to find a missing a something is to find-

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All: -out-

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-where-

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-it's-

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not.