[Universal Theme]
[Rain drops falling with musical notes]
The Cat in the Hat presents
Dr. Seuss "The Cat in the Hat"
[Music playing]
Narrator: The sun did not shine, it was too wet to play.
Just sit in the house all that cold, cold, wet day.
Mom: Goodbye kids, I'm leaving now.
Have fun! I'll be back at -uh- 3:30 sharp.
Narrator: Sit by the window, just sit there and stew and wish there were something...
[narrator yawns], something to do. Too gooey and dunky outdoors to play ball.
[inaudible] nothing at all.
Singers: [singing] Fun, fun, how can you have fun?
Just sitting doing nothing when there's nothing to be done.
Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing absolutely nothing, nothing.
Positively, absolutely, absotively, posolutely, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing to be done.
Narrator: Nothing to do but sit, sit, sit.
Just sit in the the house. Just sit there and grubble, and...all of a sudden...
Something went...BUMP!
Girl: Look!
Boy: A cat!
Girl: In a hat!
Cat: You will note, I am neat, wiped my feet on the mat.
Cat: Why must you- why do you sit there like that?
I know it is wet and the sun is not sunny
I know it is damp and the sidewalks are runny.
But what I can't see-
Fish: Now you listen here cat-
Cat: -is why you'd sit there like that.
Cat: I know some good games we could play.
Fish: Listen cat-
Cat: I know some great tricks!
Fish: Listen cat in the hat-
Cat: I know that your mother won't mind if I do and I'm simply itching to show them you...and to you.
Fish: Out of this house. I'm warning you. Get-
Cat: Who's that? I believe we haven't yet met.
Fish: The name is Krinklebine. Carlos K. Krinklebine.
Cat: Ooh.
Fish: Now please go away. Tell that top-hatted cat he should not be about.
He should not be here when your mother is out.
Cat: My dear Mr. Krinklebine, my tricks are quite safe.
I invite you to join in the fun if you wish. A game that I call "Up up up with a fish".
Fish: Put me down. P-P-Put me down you fool cat!
Outrageous. Now let me repeat, and I don't like to shout, but he should not be here when your mother is out!
Cat: It's up to you kids. Whatever you say. If you think me untrustworthy, send me away.
Girl: Well, he is getting the house sort of messy and dirty.
And mother-
Boy: Yeah mother, back home at 3:30.
Cat: Hmm. A vote of no confidence.
I most humbly bow to voice of the majority.
Goodbye now. Off to Siberia.
Ha!
Somebody stole my moss covered three handled family gradunza.
Nobody's gonna leave this room until I find it!
Boy: Pardon me sir, you lost a moss covered what?
Cat: Three handled family gradunza.
Fish: Hmph.
Cat: So, that's your attitude, hey Krinklestein? Did you steal it?
There's a gradunza snitcher in the house.
Things'll never be the same. [Singing] How dear to my heart was that beautiful gredunza.
That my old feline father bequeath-ed to me.
That old family gredunza. The old three handled family gredunza.
The ol' moss covered three handled family gredunzaaaaaaa!
That hung on the family tree.
I've been burgled, flurtled, by a fish.
Boy: Aww, give it back to him Mr. Krinklebine.
Girl: Come on now, don't be mean.
Fish: But I didn't steal his what-sis.
I'm clean!
Cat: Flurtled a fish.
[Singing] I'll never see my darling
moss covered
three handled
family gredunza
anymore.
Fish: By the way cat, just what is a family gredunza?
Cat: Oh they come in all styles, from triple-G to minus Ot.
Boy: Is it bigger than a-
Cat: Occasionally, but on most occasions not.
Girl: Is it smaller than a-
Cat: They no longer make that kind.
But one family gredunza is always smaller than another.
[Singing] Should all family gredunzas be forgot and never brought to my-
[talking] -now if I were a fish, where would I hide a moss covered three handled family gredunza?
Boy: Whatever it is, it isn't here.
Girl: And whatever it is it isn't here!
Cat: Wherever it is, it is left in some lurch.
Wherever it is we must speed up the search.
Fish: I'll tell you this, it's not in the Unabridged dictionary.
But let's find this thing and get rid of that cat!
Cat: There are more [clears throat] scientific methods of searching than that.
Fish: And just what kind of science does the cat recommend?
Cat: Why the principle of calculatus eliminatus my friend.
Fish: Calculatus what?
Calculatus...eliminatus.
I went to Cat-tech where I studied the same.
What other cats you know could make such a claim?
Very well Dr. Calculatus.
Find it and eliminatus yourself!
I shall indeed.
[Singing] When you've mislaid a certain something keep your cool and don't get hot.
Calculatus eliminatus is the best friend that you've got.
Calculatus eliminatus always helps an awful lot.
A way to find a missing something is to find out where it's not.
It isn't here, I'll mark this 'X'.
It isn't there, I'll mark that 'Y'.
It isn't underneath the apple, mark the apple 'HKI'.
It isn't in this keyhole.
No?
And it isn't on my knee.
Cat: Hmm.
Mark the keyhole 'K-300', mark the knee '5-7-B'.
We just jot down all the places where it isn't and gee-whiz!
Very shortly we will locate where the missing object is.
It isn't here.
Cat: 8-42-J.
It isn't there.
Cat: F-6-O-7.
You can mark the piano 22000 -decimal point- 11.
It isn't in the icebox.
Cat: That's strange.
It's not on this TV.
Cat: Hrmm.
Icebox O-24 and a half. TV 1 million and 3.
When you've mislaid a certain something keep your cool don't go to pot.
All: Calculatus eliminatus is the best friend that've got. Calculatus eliminatus always helps an awful lot.
Cat: The way to find a missing a something is to find-
All: -out-
-where-
-it's-
not.