0:00:00.836,0:00:11.785 This time I want to start, so to say, at the end of the word. Mainly with the Gestalt Prayer. 0:00:12.662,0:00:13.738 And, um. 0:00:15.031,0:00:25.508 I would like to have you repeat after me the Gestalt Prayer. Then I would like some sentences. 0:00:26.062,0:00:32.031 Now, the Gestalt Prayer goes something like this: 0:00:43.708,0:00:51.518 I am I. [Students repeating.] And you are you [Students repeating.] 0:00:51.518,0:00:59.223 I am not in this world to live up to your expectations. [Students repeating.] 0:00:59.223,0:01:05.560 And you are not in this world to live up to mine. [Students repeating.] 0:01:05.560,0:01:12.344 I is I. [Students repeating.] And you is you. [Students repeating.] Amen. 0:01:20.098,0:01:27.031 So, let's have some couples to see what they can do with this Gestalt Prayer. 0:01:38.585,0:01:39.975 Female: Hi 0:01:39.975,0:01:45.042 Male: If you are worrying about where I am or what I am doing. 0:01:45.042,0:01:48.248 Fritz: Yeah. Now you see what has happened? 0:01:48.248,0:01:55.538 I gave them a task and to me this is the whole Gestalt approach is thrown out of the window. 0:01:56.154,0:02:03.569 No more talking about the present experiences. No more talking about what is really happening. 0:02:03.569,0:02:16.138 Instead of really communicating on the level at which they are, they start the fibs mind fucking game which finally will end up in the blaming game. 0:02:19.867,0:02:30.241 Let's try again. But at the same time stay with the now and always tell the other person your actions, your thoughts. 0:02:30.241,0:02:34.790 The simplest way is to think aloud. 0:02:34.790,0:02:43.185 In effect, I guarantee each one of you to become a writer within 6 weeks. 0:02:43.185,0:02:51.392 If they can sit down on the typewriter and write out exactly each word as they think it. 0:02:52.208,0:02:57.308 It would go like this, "Fritz told me I could become a writer in 6 weeks." 0:02:57.308,0:03:06.682 "I don't believe it. I think it's all rubish. What should I write now? I don't know, I am stuck. Nothing counts." 0:03:06.713,0:03:11.431 "To hell with Fritz." [Class Laughing] 0:03:11.554,0:03:17.157 If you write it honestly just as each word appears in your thinking. 0:03:17.157,0:03:23.205 Because thinking is nothing but walking and talking. 0:03:25.944,0:03:35.467 What we usually do with our so called thinking is we rehearse. We try out and let it go through a sensor. 0:03:35.467,0:03:43.656 We then let only those sentences out as they are required to manipulate the other person. 0:03:46.641,0:03:56.082 We usually produce sentences to hypnotize another person or persuade or deceive or convince. 0:03:56.082,0:04:09.908 Very seldom do we speak in order to express ourselves or bring ourselves forward. The result is that all those encounters between human beings are sterile. 0:04:10.231,0:04:22.252 They are either mind fucking or manipulation. So, try again on this basis of this expectation thing. 0:04:22.252,0:04:29.256 At the same time experience now this, and so on. 0:04:32.579,0:04:41.138 Don't worry about us. The therapy situation is a safe and learning situation. 0:04:41.138,0:04:49.067 You can try out all kinds of things and realize the world won't fall to pieces if you get angry or you are honest. 0:04:50.480,0:04:57.000 Then you go out into the world and you might get confidence to do a little more honesty. 0:04:57.995,0:05:07.087 Being in the world and you will see people appreciate honesty much more than you expect them to. 0:05:07.944,0:05:18.277 Sure many people will be offended and peeved but those mostly are the people not worthwhile cultivating as friends. 0:05:20.000,0:05:35.400 Most important on the expression is the masked person really. She is still masking all the time. And he is always willing to see his professor's face. 0:05:38.154,0:05:48.225 Every interpretation is of course is an interference. You tell the other person what they think or feel. 0:05:48.225,0:05:52.267 They don't let them discover themselves. 0:05:55.498,0:06:03.236 A sentence which I would like you to use both are, let's call them "gimics" for the time being. 0:06:03.236,0:06:13.385 Two gimics I would like you to introduce here. One is be very honest with what you stand. Like, "I am stuck." 0:06:13.385,0:06:21.102 "I don't know what to say now." "You embarass me." Very simple and pure. 0:06:21.825,0:06:26.559 Aware of yourself, than just to make that statement. 0:06:26.559,0:06:41.492 The media produces some kind of vehicle of communication. The other is to translate the famous projection screen "it" into "I" or "You." 0:06:41.492,0:06:45.436 It takes all the responsiblity. 0:06:45.867,0:06:50.256 Ok, let's take the next couple. Who wants number two? 0:06:50.441,0:07:06.000 So we're probably here at an impasse. The impasse could be confused, dumb, go on a merry-go-round repeating the whole thing all over. 0:07:06.000,0:07:15.533 You try to get out of it but you are stuck. The two previous seem to be stuck with their expectations. 0:07:15.533,0:07:25.487 Once they have established this script, it goes on forever and ever and ever, if you don't get through the impasse. 0:07:25.487,0:07:36.559 This is, let's call it, "my pride." I think we should start therapy for the first time that we are capable of going through the impasse. 0:07:36.559,0:07:45.190 If we don't get through the impasse all your interest in this to keep the status quo. 0:07:46.529,0:07:54.215 But in therapy, within your own inner conflicts, within your marriage, all we acheive is retain the status quo. 0:07:54.215,0:08:02.354 At best, change therapists, change marriage partners, change the nature of the inner conflicts. 0:08:02.354,0:08:16.390 But the nature of this being torn apart remains the last step, remains unchanged, so the actors might replace each other. 0:08:16.729,9:59:59.000 Thank you.