1 00:00:00,836 --> 00:00:11,785 This time I want to start, so to say, at the end of the word. Mainly with the Gestalt Prayer. 2 00:00:12,662 --> 00:00:13,738 And, um. 3 00:00:15,031 --> 00:00:25,508 I would like to have you repeat after me the Gestalt Prayer. Then I would like some sentences. 4 00:00:26,062 --> 00:00:32,031 Now, the Gestalt Prayer goes something like this: 5 00:00:43,708 --> 00:00:51,518 I am I. [Students repeating.] And you are you [Students repeating.] 6 00:00:51,518 --> 00:00:59,223 I am not in this world to live up to your expectations. [Students repeating.] 7 00:00:59,223 --> 00:01:05,560 And you are not in this world to live up to mine. [Students repeating.] 8 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:12,344 I is I. [Students repeating.] And you is you. [Students repeating.] Amen. 9 00:01:20,098 --> 00:01:27,031 So, let's have some couples to see what they can do with this Gestalt Prayer. 10 00:01:38,585 --> 00:01:39,975 Female: Hi 11 00:01:39,975 --> 00:01:45,042 Male: If you are worrying about where I am or what I am doing. 12 00:01:45,042 --> 00:01:48,248 Fritz: Yeah. Now you see what has happened? 13 00:01:48,248 --> 00:01:55,538 I gave them a task and to me this is the whole Gestalt approach is thrown out of the window. 14 00:01:56,154 --> 00:02:03,569 No more talking about the present experiences. No more talking about what is really happening. 15 00:02:03,569 --> 00:02:16,138 Instead of really communicating on the level at which they are, they start the fibs mind fucking game which finally will end up in the blaming game. 16 00:02:19,867 --> 00:02:30,241 Let's try again. But at the same time stay with the now and always tell the other person your actions, your thoughts. 17 00:02:30,241 --> 00:02:34,790 The simplest way is to think aloud. 18 00:02:34,790 --> 00:02:43,185 In effect, I guarantee each one of you to become a writer within 6 weeks. 19 00:02:43,185 --> 00:02:51,392 If they can sit down on the typewriter and write out exactly each word as they think it. 20 00:02:52,208 --> 00:02:57,308 It would go like this, "Fritz told me I could become a writer in 6 weeks." 21 00:02:57,308 --> 00:03:06,682 "I don't believe it. I think it's all rubish. What should I write now? I don't know, I am stuck. Nothing counts." 22 00:03:06,713 --> 00:03:11,431 "To hell with Fritz." [Class Laughing] 23 00:03:11,554 --> 00:03:17,157 If you write it honestly just as each word appears in your thinking. 24 00:03:17,157 --> 00:03:23,205 Because thinking is nothing but walking and talking. 25 00:03:25,944 --> 00:03:35,467 What we usually do with our so called thinking is we rehearse. We try out and let it go through a sensor. 26 00:03:35,467 --> 00:03:43,656 We then let only those sentences out as they are required to manipulate the other person. 27 00:03:46,641 --> 00:03:56,082 We usually produce sentences to hypnotize another person or persuade or deceive or convince. 28 00:03:56,082 --> 00:04:09,908 Very seldom do we speak in order to express ourselves or bring ourselves forward. The result is that all those encounters between human beings are sterile. 29 00:04:10,231 --> 00:04:22,252 They are either mind fucking or manipulation. So, try again on this basis of this expectation thing. 30 00:04:22,252 --> 00:04:29,256 At the same time experience now this, and so on. 31 00:04:32,579 --> 00:04:41,138 Don't worry about us. The therapy situation is a safe and learning situation. 32 00:04:41,138 --> 00:04:49,067 You can try out all kinds of things and realize the world won't fall to pieces if you get angry or you are honest. 33 00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:57,000 Then you go out into the world and you might get confidence to do a little more honesty. 34 00:04:57,995 --> 00:05:07,087 Being in the world and you will see people appreciate honesty much more than you expect them to. 35 00:05:07,944 --> 00:05:18,277 Sure many people will be offended and peeved but those mostly are the people not worthwhile cultivating as friends. 36 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:35,400 Most important on the expression is the masked person really. She is still masking all the time. And he is always willing to see his professor's face. 37 00:05:38,154 --> 00:05:48,225 Every interpretation is of course is an interference. You tell the other person what they think or feel. 38 00:05:48,225 --> 00:05:52,267 They don't let them discover themselves. 39 00:05:55,498 --> 00:06:03,236 A sentence which I would like you to use both are, let's call them "gimics" for the time being. 40 00:06:03,236 --> 00:06:13,385 Two gimics I would like you to introduce here. One is be very honest with what you stand. Like, "I am stuck." 41 00:06:13,385 --> 00:06:21,102 "I don't know what to say now." "You embarass me." Very simple and pure. 42 00:06:21,825 --> 00:06:26,559 Aware of yourself, than just to make that statement. 43 00:06:26,559 --> 00:06:41,492 The media produces some kind of vehicle of communication. The other is to translate the famous projection screen "it" into "I" or "You." 44 00:06:41,492 --> 00:06:45,436 It takes all the responsiblity. 45 00:06:45,867 --> 00:06:50,256 Ok, let's take the next couple. Who wants number two? 46 00:06:50,441 --> 00:07:06,000 So we're probably here at an impasse. The impasse could be confused, dumb, go on a merry-go-round repeating the whole thing all over. 47 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:15,533 You try to get out of it but you are stuck. The two previous seem to be stuck with their expectations. 48 00:07:15,533 --> 00:07:25,487 Once they have established this script, it goes on forever and ever and ever, if you don't get through the impasse. 49 00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:36,559 This is, let's call it, "my pride." I think we should start therapy for the first time that we are capable of going through the impasse. 50 00:07:36,559 --> 00:07:45,190 If we don't get through the impasse all your interest in this to keep the status quo. 51 00:07:46,529 --> 00:07:54,215 But in therapy, within your own inner conflicts, within your marriage, all we acheive is retain the status quo. 52 00:07:54,215 --> 00:08:02,354 At best, change therapists, change marriage partners, change the nature of the inner conflicts. 53 00:08:02,354 --> 00:08:16,390 But the nature of this being torn apart remains the last step, remains unchanged, so the actors might replace each other. 54 00:08:16,729 --> 99:59:59,999 Thank you.