This time I want to start, so to say, at the end of the word. Mainly with the Gestalt Prayer.
And, um.
I would like to have you repeat after me the Gestalt Prayer. Then I would like some sentences.
Now, the Gestalt Prayer goes something like this:
I am I. [Students repeating.] And you are you [Students repeating.]
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations. [Students repeating.]
And you are not in this world to live up to mine. [Students repeating.]
I is I. [Students repeating.] And you is you. [Students repeating.] Amen.
So, let's have some couples to see what they can do with this Gestalt Prayer.
Female: Hi
Male: If you are worrying about where I am or what I am doing.
Fritz: Yeah. Now you see what has happened?
I gave them a task and to me this is the whole Gestalt approach is thrown out of the window.
No more talking about the present experiences. No more talking about what is really happening.
Instead of really communicating on the level at which they are, they start the fibs mind fucking game which finally will end up in the blaming game.
Let's try again. But at the same time stay with the now and always tell the other person your actions, your thoughts.
The simplest way is to think aloud.
In effect, I guarantee each one of you to become a writer within 6 weeks.
If they can sit down on the typewriter and write out exactly each word as they think it.
It would go like this, "Fritz told me I could become a writer in 6 weeks."
"I don't believe it. I think it's all rubish. What should I write now? I don't know, I am stuck. Nothing counts."
"To hell with Fritz." [Class Laughing]
If you write it honestly just as each word appears in your thinking.
Because thinking is nothing but walking and talking.
What we usually do with our so called thinking is we rehearse. We try out and let it go through a sensor.
We then let only those sentences out as they are required to manipulate the other person.
We usually produce sentences to hypnotize another person or persuade or deceive or convince.
Very seldom do we speak in order to express ourselves or bring ourselves forward. The result is that all those encounters between human beings are sterile.
They are either mind fucking or manipulation. So, try again on this basis of this expectation thing.
At the same time experience now this, and so on.
Don't worry about us. The therapy situation is a safe and learning situation.
You can try out all kinds of things and realize the world won't fall to pieces if you get angry or you are honest.
Then you go out into the world and you might get confidence to do a little more honesty.
Being in the world and you will see people appreciate honesty much more than you expect them to.
Sure many people will be offended and peeved but those mostly are the people not worthwhile cultivating as friends.
Most important on the expression is the masked person really. She is still masking all the time. And he is always willing to see his professor's face.
Every interpretation is of course is an interference. You tell the other person what they think or feel.
They don't let them discover themselves.
A sentence which I would like you to use both are, let's call them "gimics" for the time being.
Two gimics I would like you to introduce here. One is be very honest with what you stand. Like, "I am stuck."
"I don't know what to say now." "You embarass me." Very simple and pure.
Aware of yourself, than just to make that statement.
The media produces some kind of vehicle of communication. The other is to translate the famous projection screen "it" into "I" or "You."
It takes all the responsiblity.
Ok, let's take the next couple. Who wants number two?
So we're probably here at an impasse. The impasse could be confused, dumb, go on a merry-go-round repeating the whole thing all over.
You try to get out of it but you are stuck. The two previous seem to be stuck with their expectations.
Once they have established this script, it goes on forever and ever and ever, if you don't get through the impasse.
This is, let's call it, "my pride." I think we should start therapy for the first time that we are capable of going through the impasse.
If we don't get through the impasse all your interest in this to keep the status quo.
But in therapy, within your own inner conflicts, within your marriage, all we acheive is retain the status quo.
At best, change therapists, change marriage partners, change the nature of the inner conflicts.
But the nature of this being torn apart remains the last step, remains unchanged, so the actors might replace each other.
Thank you.