0:00:00.130,0:00:03.010
James Acaster: Never baked before. [br]Let alone competitively.

0:00:03.010,0:00:04.730
Let alone on Bakeoff.

0:00:04.730,0:00:07.510
It's the worst idea anyone's ever had.

0:00:08.809,0:00:12.113
Paul Hollywood: The texture of your flapjack--[br]James: It is perf.

0:00:12.113,0:00:14.023
Paul: --on the top, it looks [br]a bit wet.

0:00:14.023,0:00:16.353
James: Oh yeah, that's 'cause [br]it's not baked yet.

0:00:16.353,0:00:17.523
(Prue and Noel laugh)

0:00:17.523,0:00:20.163
James: Ah. I can explain this to you.

0:00:20.163,0:00:22.813
Before it goes in the oven, [br]it's often a lot soggier.

0:00:22.829,0:00:24.219
Paul: Right, ok.

0:00:24.219,0:00:26.329
James: Is the texture ok? Good joke!

0:00:26.329,0:00:29.057
Wanna shake my hand now or later?

0:00:29.057,0:00:30.187
(Music)

0:00:30.187,0:00:34.689
James: Up to you. You can shake it now [br]to save yourself the bother

0:00:34.689,0:00:37.582
or you can shake it later on [br]and eat humble pie

0:00:37.582,0:00:38.922
as well as these flapjacks.

0:00:38.922,0:00:40.878
Sandy: Bakers, you have half an hour.

0:00:40.878,0:00:44.568
Music

0:00:44.568,0:00:45.508
(Oven clatters)

0:00:45.508,0:00:47.668
James: Right, I wish I were dead [br](scoffs).

0:00:47.668,0:00:50.949
I'm not taking that out the oven.[br]It's like a soup.

0:00:50.949,0:00:53.109
(Music)

0:00:53.109,0:00:55.809
James: Come on. Be magically done.

0:00:55.809,0:00:59.089
The mixture is...still liquid.

0:01:00.957,0:01:04.327
This is meant to be encouraging people[br]at home to get involved and bake

0:01:04.327,0:01:05.067
for charity.

0:01:05.067,0:01:07.518
This is the worst experience of my life!

0:01:07.518,0:01:10.128
This is so bad.

0:01:11.200,0:01:12.453
(Music stops)

0:01:12.973,0:01:16.313
Paul: Uh, can you tell us about your[br]flapjack, please? James: Started

0:01:16.313,0:01:17.881
making it, had a breakdown,

0:01:17.881,0:01:19.061
bon appétit!

0:01:19.061,0:01:23.061
(Laughter)

0:01:24.167,0:01:26.047
James: Bit of a small bit.

0:01:26.047,0:01:27.847
Up to him.

0:01:27.847,0:01:30.857
Paul: The reason I cut the end bit is 'cause

0:01:30.857,0:01:34.857
actually where it's browned and caramelized

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
with the butter, it's absolutely gorgeous.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Prue: So delicious. Isn't it lovely?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Paul: It is.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Great flavor, not very well executed.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
James: Story of my life.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(Laughter)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
James: I thought even if baking goes badly,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it's a bit of fun. It's not.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
No, not disappointed--scarred.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(Water splashes into the bowl)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
James: Oh, too much, that's too much.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
James: This seems absolutely absurd.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That is too much frozen butter.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I've go excess dough.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Rylan Clark: You shouldn't have excess[br]dough, no

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
James: But, I cut it down[br]to the size it says here. I don't--

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Rylan: You used the whole dough together?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
James: Yeah

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Rylan: Make that 10 centimeters by 25?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
James: Well, it's too late, now, so I'll--[br]I'll put the butter in.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Noel: Where are the rest?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
James: Oh, let's be realistic.[br](Noel laughs)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(Music)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Prue: Who is responsible for this?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Well, all I can say, is it does have the[br]ingredients we gave you--

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
there.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
James: What more could you ask?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(laughter)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Prue: Quite a lot more.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Noel: We would like you to make a[br]meringue scene.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Basically, your happy place.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
James: Cowabunga! Surf's up! I'm baking[br]my happy place, which is Wicksteed Park,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
which is Kettering's premier park.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Russell Tovey: Do you want some salt?[br]I've got some salt.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
James: I'd love it. Thank you, Russell.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Just, making my meringue taste like the ocean.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(Russell scoffs and laughs)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
James: Shouldn't really go in freehand,[br]should I?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But, would someone who plays by the books[br]do this?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(Music)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
James: Wiki bear, reclining on the ocean.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm icing a raw egg. Does the name Prue[br]mean anything to you?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I know I'm in danger of constantly adding[br]to perfection, you know?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(Music)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
James: That is the roller coaster in [br]meringue. It's sweet egg flavor.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(Laughter)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Russell: Sweet egg?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
James: Ah, now, see if you can spot[br]the secret ingredient in the water.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Prue: No, is the answer.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
James: I put a little salt on it, for a laugh!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(Laughter)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Prue: You're right, there is a hint.[br]Paul: I quite like it, actually.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Prue: It's like salted caramel. It's true.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Paul: I think it's brilliant, James.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
James: Thank you very much, Paul.[br](Applause). Thank you very much.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Paul kinda gave me a look during that [br]showstopper that let me know:

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Obviously, we can't give it to you, but[br]you are Star Baker.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(Music)