[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:17.03,0:00:19.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What keeps us healthy and happy
Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.57,0:00:21.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as we go through life?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.13,0:00:24.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you were going to invest now
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.03,0:00:26.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in your future best self,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:26.99,0:00:30.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where would you put your time\Nand your energy?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.65,0:00:34.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There are lots of answers out there.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.32,0:00:38.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're bombarded with images\Nof what's most important in life.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.53,0:00:42.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The media are filled with stories\Nof people who are rich
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.14,0:00:45.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and famous and building empires at work.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.38,0:00:49.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And we believe those stories.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.01,0:00:52.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There was a recent survey of millennials
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.76,0:00:57.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,asking them what their\Nmost important life goals were,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.26,0:01:00.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and over 80 percent said
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.30,0:01:04.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that a major life goal for them\Nwas to get rich.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.66,0:01:09.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And another 50 percent\Nof those same young adults
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.02,0:01:12.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,said that another major life goal
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.58,0:01:14.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was to become famous.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.66,0:01:16.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.30,0:01:23.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And we're constantly told\Nto lean in to work, to push harder
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.98,0:01:26.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and achieve more.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.06,0:01:29.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're given the impression that these\Nare the things that we need to go after
Dialogue: 0,0:01:29.74,0:01:31.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in order to have a good life.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:32.44,0:01:33.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But is that true?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:34.43,0:01:38.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is that really what keeps people happy\Nas they go through life?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.98,0:01:42.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Pictures of entire lives,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.22,0:01:47.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of the choices that people make\Nand how those choices work out for them,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.46,0:01:50.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,those pictures\Nare almost impossible to get.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.58,0:01:54.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Most of what we know about human life
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.66,0:01:58.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we know from asking people\Nto remember the past,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.64,0:02:03.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and as we know, hindsight\Nis anything but 20/20.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.44,0:02:07.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We forget vast amounts\Nof what happens to us in life,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.16,0:02:10.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and sometimes memory\Nis downright creative.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.67,0:02:12.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mark Twain understood this.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.78,0:02:15.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's quoted as saying,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.24,0:02:20.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Some of the worst things in my life\Nnever happened."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:20.18,0:02:23.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.78,0:02:28.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And research shows us that we actually\Nremember the past more positively
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.34,0:02:29.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as we get older.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.43,0:02:33.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm reminded of a bumper sticker\Nthat says,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.20,0:02:36.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"It's never too late\Nto have a happy childhood."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.23,0:02:38.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.60,0:02:43.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But what if we could watch entire lives
Dialogue: 0,0:02:44.00,0:02:46.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as they unfold through time?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.88,0:02:50.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What if we could study people\Nfrom the time that they were teenagers
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.88,0:02:53.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all the way into old age
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.64,0:02:57.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to see what really keeps people\Nhappy and healthy?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.22,0:02:59.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We did that.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.44,0:03:02.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Harvard Study of Adult Development
Dialogue: 0,0:03:02.68,0:03:07.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,may be the longest study\Nof adult life that's ever been done.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.36,0:03:14.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For 75 years, we've tracked\Nthe lives of 724 men,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:16.16,0:03:20.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,year after year, asking about their work,\Ntheir home lives, their health,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.68,0:03:25.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and of course asking all along the way\Nwithout knowing how their life stories
Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.08,0:03:26.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,were going to turn out.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.08,0:03:31.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Studies like this are exceedingly rare.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.72,0:03:35.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Almost all projects of this kind\Nfall apart within a decade
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.80,0:03:38.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because too many people\Ndrop out of the study,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:39.00,0:03:41.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or funding for the research dries up,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.92,0:03:44.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or the researchers get distracted,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.20,0:03:48.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or they die, and nobody moves the ball\Nfurther down the field.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.08,0:03:51.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But through a combination of luck
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.36,0:03:55.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the persistence\Nof several generations of researchers,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:55.08,0:03:56.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this study has survived.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:57.32,0:04:01.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,About 60 of our original 724 men
Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.84,0:04:03.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are still alive,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.16,0:04:05.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,still participating in the study,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.36,0:04:07.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,most of them in their 90s.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:08.36,0:04:10.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And we are now beginning to study
Dialogue: 0,0:04:10.28,0:04:13.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the more than 2,000 children of these men.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.48,0:04:16.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'm the fourth director of the study.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:18.20,0:04:22.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Since 1938, we've tracked the lives\Nof two groups of men.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:22.96,0:04:25.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The first group started in the study
Dialogue: 0,0:04:25.12,0:04:27.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when they were sophomores\Nat Harvard College.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:27.80,0:04:31.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The were from what Tom Brokaw has called\N"the greatest generation".
Dialogue: 0,0:04:31.74,0:04:34.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They all finished college\Nduring World War II,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:34.58,0:04:37.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then most went off\Nto serve in the war.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:37.98,0:04:40.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the second group that we've followed
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.14,0:04:44.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was a group of boys\Nfrom Boston's poorest neighborhoods,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.34,0:04:46.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,boys who were chosen for the study
Dialogue: 0,0:04:46.38,0:04:49.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,specifically because they were\Nfrom some of the most troubled
Dialogue: 0,0:04:49.74,0:04:51.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and disadvantaged families
Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.62,0:04:54.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the Boston of the 1930s.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:54.38,0:04:58.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Most lived in tenements,\Nmany without hot and cold running water.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:01.22,0:05:03.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When they entered the study,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:03.14,0:05:06.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all of these teenagers were interviewed.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:06.10,0:05:08.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They were given medical exams.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:08.34,0:05:11.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We went to their homes\Nand we interviewed their parents.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.90,0:05:14.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then these teenagers\Ngrew up into adults
Dialogue: 0,0:05:14.30,0:05:16.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who entered all walks of life.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.74,0:05:22.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They became factory workers and lawyers\Nand bricklayers and doctors,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:22.86,0:05:25.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one President of the United States.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:26.86,0:05:31.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some developed alcoholism.\NA few developed schizophrenia.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:32.02,0:05:34.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some climbed the social ladder
Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.34,0:05:37.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from the bottom\Nall the way to the very top,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.58,0:05:40.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and some made that journey\Nin the opposite direction.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:42.22,0:05:45.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The founders of this study
Dialogue: 0,0:05:45.18,0:05:47.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would never in their wildest dreams
Dialogue: 0,0:05:47.22,0:05:51.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have imagined that I would be\Nstanding here today, 75 years later,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:51.78,0:05:54.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,telling you that\Nthe study still continues.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:55.98,0:05:59.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Every two years, our patient\Nand dedicated research staff
Dialogue: 0,0:05:59.62,0:06:02.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,calls up our men\Nand asks them if we can send them
Dialogue: 0,0:06:02.70,0:06:05.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yet one more set of questions\Nabout their lives.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:06.74,0:06:10.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Many of the inner city Boston men ask us,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:10.34,0:06:14.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Why do you keep wanting to study me?\NMy life just isn't that interesting."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:15.30,0:06:17.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Harvard men never ask that question.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:17.70,0:06:22.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:27.62,0:06:30.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To get the clearest picture\Nof these lives,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:30.50,0:06:33.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we don't just send them questionnaires.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:33.46,0:06:35.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We interview them in their living rooms.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:36.64,0:06:39.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We get their medical records\Nfrom their doctors.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:39.60,0:06:42.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We draw their blood, we scan their brains,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:42.12,0:06:43.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we talk to their children.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:43.84,0:06:49.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We videotape them talking with their wives\Nabout their deepest concerns.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:49.12,0:06:52.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when, about a decade ago,\Nwe finally asked the wives
Dialogue: 0,0:06:52.68,0:06:55.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if they would join us\Nas members of the study,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:55.08,0:06:57.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,many of the women said,\N"You know, it's about time."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:57.80,0:06:58.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:00.58,0:07:02.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So what have we learned?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:02.30,0:07:07.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What are the lessons that come\Nfrom the tens of thousands of pages
Dialogue: 0,0:07:07.54,0:07:10.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of information that we've generated
Dialogue: 0,0:07:10.62,0:07:11.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on these lives?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:12.82,0:07:18.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, the lessons aren't about wealth\Nor fame or working harder and harder.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:19.62,0:07:25.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The clearest message that we get\Nfrom this 75-year study is this:
Dialogue: 0,0:07:25.94,0:07:31.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Good relationships keep us\Nhappier and healthier. Period.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:32.10,0:07:35.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We've learned three big lessons\Nabout relationships.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:35.94,0:07:40.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The first is that social connections\Nare really good for us,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:40.06,0:07:42.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that loneliness kills.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:43.18,0:07:46.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It turns out that people\Nwho are more socially connected
Dialogue: 0,0:07:46.86,0:07:49.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to family, to friends, to community,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:49.98,0:07:54.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are happier, they're physically healthier,\Nand they live longer
Dialogue: 0,0:07:54.70,0:07:58.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than people who are less well connected.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:58.10,0:08:01.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the experience of loneliness\Nturns out to be toxic.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:01.54,0:08:06.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People who are more isolated\Nthan they want to be from others
Dialogue: 0,0:08:06.70,0:08:09.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,find that they are less happy,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:09.94,0:08:12.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,their health declines earlier in midlife,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:12.90,0:08:15.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,their brain functioning declines sooner
Dialogue: 0,0:08:15.14,0:08:18.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they live shorter lives\Nthan people who are not lonely.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:19.74,0:08:22.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the sad fact\Nis that at any given time,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:22.98,0:08:27.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,more than one in five Americans\Nwill report that they're lonely.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:28.74,0:08:31.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And we know that you\Ncan be lonely in a crowd
Dialogue: 0,0:08:31.42,0:08:34.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you can be lonely in a marriage,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:34.10,0:08:36.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so the second big lesson that we learned
Dialogue: 0,0:08:36.26,0:08:39.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that it's not just\Nthe number of friends you have,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:39.38,0:08:42.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it's not whether or not\Nyou're in a committed relationship,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:42.90,0:08:47.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it's the quality\Nof your close relationships that matters.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:48.26,0:08:53.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It turns out that living in the midst\Nof conflict is really bad for our health.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:53.06,0:08:57.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,High-conflict marriages, for example,\Nwithout much affection,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:58.16,0:09:03.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,turn out to be very bad for our health,\Nperhaps worse than getting divorced.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:03.96,0:09:08.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And living in the midst of good,\Nwarm relationships is protective.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:08.76,0:09:11.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Once we had followed our men\Nall the way into their 80s,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:11.88,0:09:14.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we wanted to look back at them at midlife
Dialogue: 0,0:09:15.72,0:09:17.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and to see if we could predict
Dialogue: 0,0:09:17.32,0:09:21.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who was going to grow\Ninto a happy, healthy octogenarian
Dialogue: 0,0:09:21.32,0:09:22.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and who wasn't.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:23.28,0:09:27.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when we gathered together\Neverything we knew about them
Dialogue: 0,0:09:27.52,0:09:28.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at age 50,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:29.68,0:09:32.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it wasn't their middle age\Ncholesterol levels
Dialogue: 0,0:09:32.24,0:09:35.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that predicted how they\Nwere going to grow old.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:35.16,0:09:38.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was how satisfied they were\Nin their relationships.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:38.64,0:09:43.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The people who were the most satisfied\Nin their relationships at age 50
Dialogue: 0,0:09:43.56,0:09:45.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,were the healthiest at age 80.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:47.28,0:09:50.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And good, close relationships\Nseem to buffer us
Dialogue: 0,0:09:50.48,0:09:53.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from some of the slings and arrows\Nof getting old.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:54.08,0:09:58.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Our most happily partnered men and women
Dialogue: 0,0:09:58.08,0:10:00.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,reported, in their 80s,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:00.16,0:10:03.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that on the days\Nwhen they had more physical pain,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:03.12,0:10:05.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,their mood stayed just as happy.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:06.00,0:10:09.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the people who were\Nin unhappy relationships,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:09.28,0:10:12.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on the days when they\Nreported more physical pain,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:12.24,0:10:15.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it was magnified by more emotional pain.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:17.46,0:10:21.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the third big lesson that we learned\Nabout relationships and our health
Dialogue: 0,0:10:21.86,0:10:25.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that good relationships\Ndon't just protect our bodies,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:25.14,0:10:26.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they protect our brains.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:27.54,0:10:32.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It turns out that being\Nin a securely attached relationship
Dialogue: 0,0:10:32.22,0:10:36.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to another person in your 80s\Nis protective,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:36.14,0:10:38.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that the people who are in relationships
Dialogue: 0,0:10:38.14,0:10:42.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where they really feel they can count\Non the other person in times of need,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:42.30,0:10:45.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,those people's memories\Nstay sharper longer.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:46.02,0:10:47.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the people in relationships
Dialogue: 0,0:10:47.54,0:10:50.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where they feel they really\Ncan't count on the other one,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:50.70,0:10:54.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,those are the people who experience\Nearlier memory decline.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:55.62,0:10:59.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And those good relationships,\Nthey don't have to be smooth all the time.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:59.10,0:11:02.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some of our octogenarian couples\Ncould bicker with each other
Dialogue: 0,0:11:02.70,0:11:04.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,day in and day out,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:04.46,0:11:07.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but as long as they felt that they\Ncould really count on the other
Dialogue: 0,0:11:07.66,0:11:09.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when the going got tough,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:09.50,0:11:13.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,those arguments didn't take a toll\Non their memories.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:14.70,0:11:17.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So this message,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:17.46,0:11:23.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that good, close relationships\Nare good for our health and well-being,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:23.18,0:11:26.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this is wisdom that's as old as the hills.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:26.17,0:11:29.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's your grandmother's advice,\Nand your pastor's.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:30.08,0:11:31.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why is this so hard to get?
Dialogue: 0,0:11:32.76,0:11:35.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For example, with respect to wealth, we know
Dialogue: 0,0:11:35.41,0:11:38.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that once your basic \Nmaterial needs are met,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:38.57,0:11:39.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wealth doesn't do it.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:40.06,0:11:43.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you go from making \N75,000 dollars a year
Dialogue: 0,0:11:43.85,0:11:45.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to 75 million,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:45.85,0:11:49.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we know that your health and happiness\Nwill change very little,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:49.83,0:11:50.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if at all.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:51.98,0:11:53.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When it comes to fame,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:54.20,0:11:56.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the constant media intrusion
Dialogue: 0,0:11:56.60,0:11:58.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the lack of privacy
Dialogue: 0,0:11:58.40,0:12:01.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,make most famous people \Nsignificantly less healthy.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:02.12,0:12:04.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It certainly doesn't keep them happier.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:06.08,0:12:08.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And as for working harder and harder,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:09.43,0:12:12.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there is that truism\Nthat nobody on their death bed
Dialogue: 0,0:12:12.48,0:12:15.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ever wished they had spent \Nmore time at the office.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:15.23,0:12:16.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:12:16.84,0:12:20.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why is this so hard to get\Nand so easy to ignore?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:21.36,0:12:22.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, we're human.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:22.84,0:12:25.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What we'd really like is a quick fix,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:25.68,0:12:27.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,something we can get
Dialogue: 0,0:12:27.40,0:12:30.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that'll make our lives good\Nand keep them that way.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:31.12,0:12:34.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Relationships are messy\Nand they're complicated
Dialogue: 0,0:12:34.48,0:12:38.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the hard work of tending\Nto family and friends,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:38.32,0:12:40.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's not sexy or glamorous.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:41.00,0:12:44.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's also lifelong. It never ends.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:44.36,0:12:49.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The people in our 75-year study\Nwho were the happiest in retirement
Dialogue: 0,0:12:50.24,0:12:56.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,were the people who had actively worked\Nto replace workmates with new playmates.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:59.98,0:13:02.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just like the millennials\Nin that recent survey,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:03.28,0:13:06.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,many of our men when they\Nwere starting out as young adults
Dialogue: 0,0:13:06.92,0:13:10.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,really believed that fame and wealth\Nand high achievement
Dialogue: 0,0:13:11.46,0:13:15.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,were what they needed to go after\Nto have a good life.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:15.42,0:13:19.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But over and over, over these 75 years,\Nour study has shown
Dialogue: 0,0:13:19.62,0:13:25.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that the people who fared the best were\Nthe people who leaned in to relationships,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:25.30,0:13:28.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with family, with friends, with community.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:30.38,0:13:32.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So what about you?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:32.38,0:13:36.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let's say you're 25,\Nor you're 40, or you're 60.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:37.10,0:13:40.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What might leaning in\Nto relationships even look like?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:41.06,0:13:44.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, the possibilities\Nare practically endless.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:44.90,0:13:50.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It might be something as simple\Nas replacing screen time with people time
Dialogue: 0,0:13:51.02,0:13:55.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or livening up a stale relationship\Nby doing something new together,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:55.50,0:13:57.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,long walks or date nights,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:58.66,0:14:03.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or reaching out to that family member\Nwho you haven't spoken to in years,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:03.54,0:14:07.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because those all-too-common family feuds
Dialogue: 0,0:14:07.06,0:14:09.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,take a terrible toll
Dialogue: 0,0:14:09.30,0:14:11.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on the people who hold the grudges.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:13.30,0:14:17.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd like to close with another quote\Nfrom Mark Twain.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:18.88,0:14:21.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,More than a century ago,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:21.28,0:14:23.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he was looking back on his life,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:23.92,0:14:25.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he wrote this:
Dialogue: 0,0:14:26.44,0:14:30.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"There isn't time, so brief is life,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:30.16,0:14:35.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for bickerings, apologies,\Nheartburnings, callings to account.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:36.32,0:14:39.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There is only time for loving,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:39.16,0:14:42.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and but an instant,\Nso to speak, for that."
Dialogue: 0,0:14:44.36,0:14:48.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The good life is built\Nwith good relationships.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:48.94,0:14:51.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's an idea worth spreading.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:51.18,0:14:52.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:52.42,0:14:58.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)