[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:07.15,0:00:07.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hello.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:07.90,0:00:09.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My name is Paul.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:09.07,0:00:11.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is my assistant TJ.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.01,0:00:12.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And, yes, we are both professional engineers.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.77,0:00:14.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(gong)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.53,0:00:20.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(gong)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.80,0:00:24.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The purpose of this presentation is to educate engineers and the general public
Dialogue: 0,0:00:24.24,0:00:25.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about cats.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.77,0:00:31.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It is widely known that cats are attractive creatures that can provide many hours of entertainment.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.02,0:00:33.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it's not all just fun and games.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.32,0:00:37.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Having cats in your home also entails a certain amount of responsibility,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.01,0:00:41.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and, depending on the number of cats you have, there might be some social implications.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:41.12,0:00:42.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you have one cat,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.21,0:00:44.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're just a guy who has a cat.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.21,0:00:45.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is Oscar.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.05,0:00:49.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you have two cats, well, the two cats are friends, so they can keep each other company.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.60,0:00:50.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ginger.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.34,0:00:52.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When you have three cats...
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.29,0:00:53.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And Zoe.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.45,0:00:55.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You start to get to be that guy
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.12,0:00:58.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who has all those cats.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:59.82,0:01:00.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cats come in a variety
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.65,0:01:02.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of shapes, sizes, and colors.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.51,0:01:05.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Zoe measures 17 inches by 10 inches,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.37,0:01:10.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which gives her an aspect ratio of 1.70, and a large internal volume.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.08,0:01:15.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oscar measures 19 inches by 8 inches, for an aspect ratio of 2.38,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.42,0:01:19.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that gives him less wind resistance and superior leaping capability.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.65,0:01:22.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ginger's compact size makes her easy to handle,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.48,0:01:27.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and also allows her to fit into tight parking spaces.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.45,0:01:31.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The basic necessities that cats need are food and also water.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.72,0:01:36.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Fortunately, like most engineers, cats are pretty much willing to eat the same thing
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.50,0:01:38.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,day after day after day.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.68,0:01:41.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But since we all know variety is the spice of life,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.61,0:01:43.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it is good to try something different
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.19,0:01:44.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from time to time.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.81,0:01:48.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Good toast.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.67,0:01:51.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For this reason, I occasionally offer my cats something that they seem to love
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.91,0:01:54.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even more than life itself: Tuna.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.61,0:01:56.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(excited meowing)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.02,0:02:01.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tuna is pretty much like cocaine for kitties.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.39,0:02:06.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, guys, the first step to solving the problem is admitting you have one.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.20,0:02:11.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Besides eating, it is good for cats to have some sort of hobby or pastime.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:11.26,0:02:15.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For example, Zoe is an accomplished marathon lounger, and spends many hours each day
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.42,0:02:17.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in a rigorous lounge training schedule.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:17.83,0:02:23.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here she exhibits a traditional feline slumber position, and with this anchor technique,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.02,0:02:27.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she makes clever use of the Earth's gravitational field to keep herself firmly attached
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.08,0:02:28.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to the floor of my living room.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.40,0:02:35.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ginger likes dancing, including Classical, tap, and ballet, but she also likes to get down
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.42,0:02:37.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with the more modern type of club dancing.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.49,0:02:41.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(beatboxing)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.04,0:02:43.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.52,0:02:45.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Shake that booty.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.24,0:02:45.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.87,0:02:47.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oonch-ooonch-oonch-oonch.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:47.90,0:02:49.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oscar's hobby is feline art,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.64,0:02:53.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with his favorite genres being postmodern cardboard deconstruction,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.73,0:02:59.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,floral arrangement regurgitation, and rotational forms of performance art,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.12,0:03:02.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which also helps with regurgitation.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:03.24,0:03:06.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oscar and Ginger will sometimes combine their effors, as with this collaborative
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.97,0:03:10.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,low-energy cardboard performance art,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.20,0:03:13.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and Zoe will often provide feedback as an art critic.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.73,0:03:18.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Rex Tremendae from Mozart's Requiem)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.69,0:03:27.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Her brutal honesty also gives Oscar the opportunity to practice
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.59,0:03:30.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,his martial arts skills.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.19,0:03:39.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,CHORUS: Rex tremendae maiestatis.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:39.80,0:03:42.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,PAUL: Another activity that cats and humans can enjoy together
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.59,0:03:43.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is something called the
Dialogue: 0,0:03:43.62,0:03:49.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm not paying any attention to you" game, which can last for hours.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.14,0:03:54.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here's Ginger and TJ going head to head, trying to not pay attention to each other.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.85,0:03:58.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,TJ is making good use of his opposable thumbs to try to distract Ginger,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.38,0:04:01.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,using the dead bird simulator cat toy.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.01,0:04:04.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This annoys Ginger, and she boycotts the game.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.74,0:04:09.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Young male engineers will be familiar with this game, as they often use the same technique
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.62,0:04:11.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to attract the attention of ladies.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:11.08,0:04:13.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,MALE VOICE ON RADIO: Oh, baby, baby, baby.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.98,0:04:18.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Notice TJ using the same characteristic sideways glance, and a similar level of annoyance
Dialogue: 0,0:04:18.76,0:04:20.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on the part of his opponent.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:20.53,0:04:23.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,MALE VOICE: No, no, no!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:23.45,0:04:26.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,PAUL: Next we must address a difficult topic:
Dialogue: 0,0:04:26.29,0:04:28.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Disciplining your cats for bad behavior.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:28.98,0:04:33.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Any unwanted behavior should be dealt with in a kind and loving manner.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:33.11,0:04:34.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For this reason, I use a method
Dialogue: 0,0:04:34.78,0:04:36.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,called "corporal cuddling".
Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.55,0:04:39.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(meow!)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:39.18,0:04:41.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(meow!)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:41.05,0:04:41.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(meow!)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:41.76,0:04:48.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(meow!)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.88,0:04:52.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,While this may appear cruel and unusual, or perhaps just a bit weird,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:52.15,0:04:56.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it really does not harm the cat, yet is still sufficiently annoying.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.94,0:05:00.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A similar technique is used for a new form of artistic expression:
Dialogue: 0,0:05:00.61,0:05:02.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cat yodelling.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:02.27,0:05:07.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(meoww-oww-oww-oww)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:07.57,0:05:08.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(meow!)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:08.70,0:05:09.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(meoww-woww-wooww!)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:09.94,0:05:22.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(meoww-woww-woww)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:22.01,0:05:25.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Finally, we would like to address the role of cats in the 21st Century.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:25.87,0:05:29.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In this day and age of Global Warming and the need for renewable forms of energy,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:29.52,0:05:33.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it is our belief that cats can provide a practical benefit with their natural
Dialogue: 0,0:05:33.02,0:05:36.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,static electricity characteristics.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:36.04,0:05:40.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,TJ and I have been experimenting with methods for tapping into this natural source of power
Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.31,0:05:46.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by combining cats, balloons, carpeting, rechargeable AA batteries, and duct tape.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:46.100,0:05:51.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We've tried different variations by matching larger volume balloons to Zoe,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:51.27,0:05:53.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and more slender balloons to Oscar,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:53.41,0:05:56.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but so far our testing is inconclusive.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:56.24,0:06:00.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Several details that still need to be resolved include cat motivation problems
Dialogue: 0,0:06:00.37,0:06:03.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and a potential incompatibility between cat claws and balloons.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:03.72,0:06:04.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(pop!)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:06.09,0:06:10.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We hope you've enjoyed this presentation, and with an increased understanding of cats,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:10.78,0:06:14.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,perhaps you will consider bringing one into your life, if you've not done so already.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:14.82,0:06:19.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Indeed, cats are wonderful animals that will provide many years of companionship and love,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:19.41,0:06:21.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even if you are a regular person,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:21.60,0:06:23.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and not an engineer.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:23.69,0:06:26.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(spacy electronic music)