[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.00,0:00:01.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hello down there!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:01.38,0:00:05.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I just finished watching the\NSnow White live-action remake.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:05.86,0:00:09.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And now, I'm leaving the\Nparking lot on my way home.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.23,0:00:12.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wasn't going to see\Nit initially because
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.64,0:00:15.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm beyond tired of\Nlive-action remakes.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.84,0:00:16.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't like them.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:17.71,0:00:19.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I do not like greens eggs and ham.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.79,0:00:24.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the only reason I decided to\Ngo see this one is because
Dialogue: 0,0:00:24.100,0:00:27.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,somehow there was a lot of\Nhype for it with people saying
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.99,0:00:30.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's one of the best live-action\Nremakes ever made.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.70,0:00:35.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now that I finished it,\NI can say I disagree.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.33,0:00:39.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I apologize for the wacky\Ncamera angle here
Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.47,0:00:41.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that looks like it's filming a dick pic,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.42,0:00:46.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I wanted to just\Ngive you my raw thoughts
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.62,0:00:48.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,immediately after seeing it.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.59,0:00:50.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't really like it.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.71,0:00:54.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know there was a lot of\Ncontroversy with the movie.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.93,0:00:58.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't really know what it all was.\NI didn't pay too much attention.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.07,0:01:00.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know the star, Rachel Zegler, apparently
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.83,0:01:02.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,had, like, some bad\Ninterviews or something
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.96,0:01:08.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and Gal Gadot, people say, is, like,\Nthe worst actress of our generation.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.43,0:01:10.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Couldn't tell ya.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.37,0:01:14.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All I know is I didn't like the movie.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.39,0:01:21.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So setting aside the\Ncontroversy with it,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:21.73,0:01:23.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was the film good in its own right?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.78,0:01:26.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not to me, it wasn't.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.39,0:01:31.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I'm also not the target\Ndemographic anymore,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.27,0:01:33.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm a fuckin' 30-year-old greaseball.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:34.41,0:01:39.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Snow White remake, it shares a\Nlittle bit in common with the original.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.42,0:01:42.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it feels like it wanted\Nto carve its own path.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.85,0:01:45.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a little bit longer\Nthan the original,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.59,0:01:47.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so it adds a little bit more.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.19,0:01:52.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not a ton, but it adds things\Nthat nobody gives a fuck about
Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.17,0:01:54.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it really feels like there\Nwas two different visions
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.84,0:01:57.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for the film that ended up clashing.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.31,0:02:02.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So they have the seven dwarves,\Nbut they also have seven bandits,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.18,0:02:05.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which I don't get the point of.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.56,0:02:09.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The only bandit that matters\Nis the main one, Jonathan.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.59,0:02:14.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Every other bandit, I don't\Nthink they even had a name.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.13,0:02:17.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There was, like, one scene where\Nthey said one of their names,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:17.34,0:02:19.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but you don't know who the\Nfuck they're talking about
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.51,0:02:22.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'cause they have never mentioned\Nany of them by name.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.34,0:02:23.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know why they're here.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.76,0:02:26.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It feels like they are\Nthe remnants of what
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.47,0:02:28.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the original direction\Nwas for this remake.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.66,0:02:33.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At least that's my little fuckin' tinfoil\Ncondom conspiracy theory.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.46,0:02:37.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It feels like the seven bandits were\Nsupposed to replace the dwarves
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.19,0:02:40.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but then they\Ndecided not to do that,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.61,0:02:43.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so now you have the seven\Nbandits and the seven dwarves,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.48,0:02:45.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it just doesn't mesh well at all.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.48,0:02:50.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Really, most of the movie I don't\Nthink meshes super well.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.43,0:02:52.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a lot of new songs in it that
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.18,0:02:55.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't recognize from the original\Nand I thought they blew ass.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.84,0:02:57.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wasn't a fan.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.52,0:03:01.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But there was a couple\Nsongs that I recognized from
Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.40,0:03:02.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the original, and they were fine.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:02.58,0:03:05.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Those were kind of fun.\NLike the classic Heigh Ho,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:05.47,0:03:06.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that was kind of sweet.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.86,0:03:11.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Truthfully, I just don't have \Na whole lot to say about the movie
Dialogue: 0,0:03:11.08,0:03:14.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'cause it is absolutely just not for me.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.39,0:03:18.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Also, I feel like I'm shouting\Nat the phone screen right now
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.45,0:03:19.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like I got headphones on,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.04,0:03:22.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but... you know, it is what it is.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.94,0:03:27.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's just... I don't... like, I (laughs)\NI really feel like
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.70,0:03:30.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm at this point shaking my fist\Nat the clouds
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.60,0:03:33.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't really... don't see...
Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.87,0:03:37.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,why you'd ever choose to watch this\Nover the original.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.38,0:03:40.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like, it's not a "bad" movie, really...
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.32,0:03:42.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like, it's not even terrible.\NI think, there's things about it
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.73,0:03:44.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that don't really work for me, personally.