1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,191
Hello down there!

2
00:00:01,381 --> 00:00:05,311
I just finished watching the
Snow White live-action remake.

3
00:00:05,858 --> 00:00:09,568
And now, I'm leaving the
parking lot on my way home.

4
00:00:10,228 --> 00:00:12,643
I wasn't going to see
it initially because

5
00:00:12,643 --> 00:00:15,490
I'm beyond tired of
live-action remakes.

6
00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:16,930
I don't like them.

7
00:00:17,713 --> 00:00:19,523
I do not like greens eggs and ham.

8
00:00:19,789 --> 00:00:24,999
And the only reason I decided to
go see this one is because

9
00:00:24,999 --> 00:00:27,989
somehow there was a lot of
hype for it with people saying

10
00:00:27,989 --> 00:00:30,819
it's one of the best live-action
remakes ever made.

11
00:00:31,702 --> 00:00:35,522
Now that I finished it,
I can say I disagree.

12
00:00:36,332 --> 00:00:39,469
I apologize for the wacky
camera angle here

13
00:00:39,469 --> 00:00:41,839
that looks like it's filming a dick pic,

14
00:00:42,423 --> 00:00:46,622
but I wanted to just
give you my raw thoughts

15
00:00:46,622 --> 00:00:48,704
immediately after seeing it.

16
00:00:49,587 --> 00:00:50,867
I didn't really like it.

17
00:00:51,712 --> 00:00:54,442
I know there was a lot of
controversy with the movie.

18
00:00:54,926 --> 00:00:58,296
Don't really know what it all was.
I didn't pay too much attention.

19
00:00:58,296 --> 00:01:00,826
I know the star, Rachel Zegler, apparently

20
00:01:00,826 --> 00:01:02,956
had, like, some bad
interviews or something

21
00:01:02,956 --> 00:01:08,096
and Gal Gadot, people say, is, like,
the worst actress of our generation.

22
00:01:09,432 --> 00:01:10,242
Couldn't tell ya.

23
00:01:11,372 --> 00:01:14,432
All I know is I didn't like the movie.

24
00:01:18,387 --> 00:01:21,727
So setting aside the
controversy with it,

25
00:01:21,727 --> 00:01:23,877
was the film good in its own right?

26
00:01:24,781 --> 00:01:26,881
Not to me, it wasn't.

27
00:01:27,393 --> 00:01:31,273
But I'm also not the target
demographic anymore,

28
00:01:31,273 --> 00:01:33,613
I'm a fuckin' 30-year-old greaseball.

29
00:01:34,409 --> 00:01:39,789
The Snow White remake, it shares a
little bit in common with the original.

30
00:01:40,417 --> 00:01:42,847
But it feels like it wanted
to carve its own path.

31
00:01:42,847 --> 00:01:45,591
It's a little bit longer
than the original,

32
00:01:45,591 --> 00:01:47,191
so it adds a little bit more.

33
00:01:47,191 --> 00:01:52,210
Not a ton, but it adds things
that nobody gives a fuck about

34
00:01:52,170 --> 00:01:54,840
and it really feels like there
was two different visions

35
00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:57,448
for the film that ended up clashing.

36
00:01:57,448 --> 00:02:02,238
So they have the seven dwarves,
but they also have seven bandits,

37
00:02:03,175 --> 00:02:05,565
which I don't get the point of.

38
00:02:05,565 --> 00:02:09,888
The only bandit that matters
is the main one, Jonathan.

39
00:02:10,594 --> 00:02:14,240
Every other bandit, I don't
think they even had a name.

40
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:17,340
There was, like, one scene where
they said one of their names,

41
00:02:17,340 --> 00:02:19,514
but you don't know who the
fuck they're talking about

42
00:02:19,514 --> 00:02:22,340
'cause they have never mentioned
any of them by name.

43
00:02:22,335 --> 00:02:24,145
I don't know why they're here.

44
00:02:24,145 --> 00:02:26,618
It feels like they are
the remnants of what

45
00:02:26,618 --> 00:02:28,658
the original direction
was for this remake.

46
00:02:28,658 --> 00:02:33,456
At least that's my little fuckin' tinfoil
condom conspiracy theory.

47
00:02:33,456 --> 00:02:37,187
It feels like the seven bandits were
supposed to replace the dwarves

48
00:02:37,187 --> 00:02:40,607
but then they
decided not to do that,

49
00:02:40,607 --> 00:02:43,482
so now you have the seven
bandits and the seven dwarves,

50
00:02:43,482 --> 00:02:45,665
and it just doesn't mesh well at all.

51
00:02:46,475 --> 00:02:50,315
Really, most of the movie I don't
think meshes super well.

52
00:02:50,426 --> 00:02:52,184
There's a lot of new songs in it that

53
00:02:52,184 --> 00:02:55,254
I didn't recognize from the original
and I thought they blew ass.

54
00:02:55,844 --> 00:02:57,974
I wasn't a fan.

55
00:02:58,515 --> 00:03:01,400
But there was a couple
songs that I recognized from

56
00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:02,584
the original, and they were fine.

57
00:03:02,584 --> 00:03:05,474
Those were kind of fun.
Like the classic Heigh Ho,

58
00:03:05,474 --> 00:03:06,574
that was kind of sweet.

59
00:03:07,859 --> 00:03:11,029
Truthfully, I just don't have 
a whole lot to say about the movie

60
00:03:11,082 --> 00:03:14,582
'cause it is absolutely just not for me.

61
00:03:15,392 --> 00:03:18,401
Also, I feel like I'm shouting
at the phone screen right now

62
00:03:18,452 --> 00:03:19,742
like I got headphones on,

63
00:03:20,039 --> 00:03:22,099
but... you know, it is what it is.

64
00:03:22,943 --> 00:03:27,163
It's just... I don't... like, I (laughs)
I really feel like

65
00:03:27,698 --> 00:03:30,598
I'm at this point shaking my fist
at the clouds.

66
00:03:30,598 --> 00:03:33,310
I don't really... don't see...

67
00:03:33,874 --> 00:03:37,124
why you'd ever choose to watch this
over the original.

68
00:03:37,376 --> 00:03:40,266
Like, it's not a "bad" movie, really...

69
00:03:40,315 --> 00:03:42,675
Like, it's not even terrible.
I think, there's things about it

70
00:03:42,726 --> 00:03:44,715
that don't really work for me, personally.

71
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But, but it's, again
It's not for me

72
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm not a 6 year old

73
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But like, when I'm watching this
and remembering the original

74
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Like the poison apple in the
original for example

75
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Big deal

76
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Like an actual huge
piece of the original

77
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
In this one, it's nothing

78
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It is beyond nothing

79
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So like, the...

80
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The evil...

81
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So when Snow White gets the poison apple

82
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
?

83
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
She takes a bite and then she gets the
sleeping death

84
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well, she only stays sleeping dead for
like 10 minutes

85
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It, it was a sleeping snooze

86
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Like she actually just took a nap because

87
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
she was only in that state for 2 scenes

88
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And then Jonathon came up
and gave her a kiss

89
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And then she was immediately freed from it

90
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So like there's never like it doesn't
even feel like there's

91
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
ever anything at stake

92
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It doesn't even feel like serious

93
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It just, it's crazy to say this but

94
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It feels like it moves so fuckin' fast
despite being longer than

95
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Longer than the original

96
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And yet offers less reasons to
get invested

97
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
If that makes sense

98
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Like I shit you not, she gets the fuckin'
poison apple,

99
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
she falls asleep with ?

100
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The dwarfs come up and they're like
"aw jinkies"

101
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So then they hold like a fuckin' viking
burial

102
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
kind of

103
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
they put her on a rock

104
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and they're like lamenting that she's
shed the mortal coil

105
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And like it switches to another scene
with Jonathon who

106
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
breaks out of the, the castle, and then he

107
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
immediately shows up, and they're
still there

108
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Like over her body, her corpse

109
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So I think it's really only been like
5 minutes

110
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
They haven't begun the funeral

111
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and Jonathon shows up and kisses her,
and she's fine

112
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So like, it never really feels like
anything's a big deal

113
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So you're kinda just there to enjoy the
music moreso than anything

114
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Which I wasn't liking

115
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And to be honest, while it's just me 
and you here

116
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I walked out of the movie

117
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And I'm kind of embarrassed to say
that 'cause

118
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I never walk out of movies, and this movie

119
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
like I said, isn't even like the worst
movie I've ever seen or anything

120
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It's not even the worst live action remake
I've seen

121
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But I walked out with like the
last 15 minutes

122
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
'Cause I was just so fuckin' bored

123
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And I really was just, really in a,
like a, trance

124
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Like a ? state

125
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And I was ready to leave

126
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So I didn't, maybe the ending
really saves it

127
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Maybe the ending ties it all together
with an absolute masterpiece

128
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But I doubt it

129
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Now as someone who stared in the
Hunger Games ? Part 1

130
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I feel qualified to ? on acting
performances

131
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And I would say, it was, fine, overall

132
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Like I, I actually think ?
did a good job as Snow White

133
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Like, she didn't do like anything crazy,
it wasn't y'know,

134
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
some kind of Oscar worthy performance

135
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But I thought it was really just, fine

136
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Gal Godot, on the other hand, I do not
think was the right choice for this role

137
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It feels like she wanted to go like over
the top and like ham it up, but

138
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
was a little reserved

139
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Like didn't really commit to going
crazy with it

140
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And then it just kind of

141
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Peters in this, really, bad purgatory
of just being flat

142
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Like she's never over the top enough
that it becomes charming

143
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and like disney villain like

144
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
but it's also not played seriously
enough to the point where

145
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
you like take her seriously

146
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
so she's just kind of dull

147
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And everyone else around them,

148
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
they don't have a big enough role 
to play for me to

149
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
give a fuck to even talk about their performances

150
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I guess except for maybe Jonathon

151
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But Jonathon, he just had to be in 
love with Snow White immediately and

152
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
that's kind of it

153
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So he didn't really get a whole lot
to do besides that

154
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Anyway though, that's kinda my review
of Snow White live action 2025

155
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I didn't like it very much

156
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But I imagine if you're 6 years old or
you just really like disney live action remakes

157
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
you'll probably be pretty satisfied with
the film, I think, most likely

158
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
yep

159
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
well that's really about it

160
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm driving right now, and I don't like
to take my eyes of the road

161
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So when I get to the next red light,
I'll, I'll stop the recording