WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.948 [Music playing] NOTE Paragraph 00:00:02.948 --> 00:00:05.896 [Dean Martin singing "Good Mornin' Life] 00:00:05.896 --> 00:00:09.927 ♪ Good morning life, good morning sun, how are your skies above ♪ 00:00:11.960 --> 00:00:17.394 ♪ Gee it's great to be alive and in love ♪ 00:00:17.394 --> 00:00:24.022 ♪ Good morning life, good morning birds, sing out your happy tune ♪ 00:00:24.022 --> 00:00:29.188 ♪ Feels so good, 'cause I'll be seeing her soon ♪ 00:00:29.188 --> 00:00:32.923 ♪ Last night she said she loved me, what a pity to part ♪ 00:00:35.322 --> 00:00:38.454 ♪ I slept with both eyes open waiting for today to start ♪ 00:00:41.320 --> 00:00:45.652 ♪ Good morning life, good morning world, how are you, happiness ♪ 00:00:47.889 --> 00:00:52.988 ♪ All at once, I know what living can be ♪ 00:00:52.988 --> 00:00:58.056 ♪ It's life, it's free, it's someone waiting for me...♪ 00:00:58.056 --> 00:01:00.164 (Pringles mascot) Hey, honey! How 'bout it? 00:01:00.164 --> 00:01:08.039 ♪...Who'd someday be my wife, good morning life ♪ 00:01:08.039 --> 00:01:10.836 ♪ Good morning life ♪♪ 00:01:13.035 --> 00:01:15.234 (Michelin man cop #1) Oh, God, it was...you know what? 00:01:15.234 --> 00:01:16.346 You should come with us next time. 00:01:16.346 --> 00:01:17.343 (Michelin man cop #2) Nah, man, I don't like zoos. 00:01:17.343 --> 00:01:19.610 Ah, man but the kids go apeshit for it 00:01:19.610 --> 00:01:21.710 Yeah, well, I don't see my kids that much. Besides, it's depressing. 00:01:24.466 --> 00:01:26.367 What, getting up close to animals? 00:01:26.367 --> 00:01:29.065 I mean, where the hell else are you going to get that close to a cheetah? 00:01:29.065 --> 00:01:30.797 Yeah, that cheetah can run like a motherfucker. 00:01:30.797 --> 00:01:33.702 But in a zoo? He ain't got enough room to hit second gear. 00:01:33.702 --> 00:01:35.900 I mean, it ain't like they're in their natural habitat. 00:01:35.900 --> 00:01:36.935 Yeah, no shit man! 00:01:36.935 --> 00:01:37.936 That's 'cause they'd be dead if they were in their natural habitat. 00:01:37.936 --> 00:01:40.936 These animals have been rescued. 00:01:40.936 --> 00:01:44.265 Usually injured or something in like you know, the wild. 00:01:44.265 --> 00:01:45.065 Or blind. 00:01:45.065 --> 00:01:45.800 No shit? 00:01:45.800 --> 00:01:46.702 No shit! 00:01:46.702 --> 00:01:47.535 See, I didn't know that. 00:01:47.535 --> 00:01:48.601 Yeah, that's what I'm saying. 00:01:48.601 --> 00:01:49.530 That's even more depressing! That's what I'm talking about. 00:01:50.367 --> 00:01:52.237 A blind-ass cheetah bumping into trees and shit. 00:01:52.237 --> 00:01:54.199 That shit's fucked up. 00:01:54.199 --> 00:01:55.600 I didn't say the cheetah was blind. 00:01:55.600 --> 00:01:56.732 Well, then, what's blind? 00:01:56.732 --> 00:01:58.599 Nothing's blind, it's just an example. 00:01:58.599 --> 00:02:01.930 Well, then that's a fucked up example of some shit right there, man! 00:02:01.930 --> 00:02:03.196 That's what I'm talking about! Blind cheetahs and shit. 00:02:04.599 --> 00:02:05.697 I just meant... 00:02:05.697 --> 00:02:07.133 Look, go get the food. 00:02:07.133 --> 00:02:07.700 Alright. 00:02:07.700 --> 00:02:09.102 'Ey, and remember, we pay half. 00:02:09.102 --> 00:02:10.032 Yeah, I know. 00:02:10.032 --> 00:02:11.102 And get me a large Coke, too. 00:02:11.102 --> 00:02:13.233 You got it! 00:02:13.233 --> 00:02:16.233 [muttering under breath] Captain douchebag. 00:02:16.233 --> 00:02:18.233 Okay, small salad, bottle of water. That's it. Small salad, bottle of water. 00:02:20.598 --> 00:02:22.130 Hmmm... 00:02:22.130 --> 00:02:24.800 (Female voice on radio) All units respond to APB 211. 00:02:24.800 --> 00:02:27.972 Suspect last seen heading west on Alameda in a red delivery van. 00:02:27.972 --> 00:02:33.374 Suspect white male, 6 feet tall, yellow jumpsuit, red hair and shoes, 00:02:33.374 --> 00:02:35.425 answers to the name Ronald, considered armed and dangerous. 00:02:37.716 --> 00:02:39.435 Sweet Jesus! 00:02:43.742 --> 00:02:45.313 Hey, hurry up! 00:02:45.313 --> 00:02:48.777 Go! Go! Go! Go! 00:02:51.482 --> 00:02:52.673 Was he in my lane? 00:02:53.305 --> 00:02:54.872 (Female voice on radio) ...Suspect heading south on Royal Canyon... 00:02:54.872 --> 00:02:56.170 Watch out! Watch out! 00:02:56.170 --> 00:02:59.174 (Muffled talk on radio from helicopter) 00:02:59.741 --> 00:03:02.504 (Mr. Clean in a feminine tone) Okay, people, listen to me, please. 00:03:02.504 --> 00:03:04.371 Hands and feet inside the car. No snacks, and certainly no feeding 00:03:04.371 --> 00:03:09.008 the animals. Grrrr. There's a lot to see going on. 00:03:10.303 --> 00:03:15.237 Have a lovely time together, so here we gooo! 00:03:15.237 --> 00:03:19.875 Just on your right is a rare but simply gorgeous little reptilian friend 00:03:19.875 --> 00:03:21.939 It's our French crocodile. 00:03:21.939 --> 00:03:25.138 And no, you won't see any handbag or belt made out of this... 00:03:25.138 --> 00:03:26.506 This guy sucks hairy balls. 00:03:26.506 --> 00:03:30.309 Gah, let's get out of here. C'mon, let's go. 00:03:30.309 --> 00:03:31.739 Let's go ride a lion! 00:03:31.739 --> 00:03:33.574 [Laughing] 00:03:33.574 --> 00:03:36.574 [penguin squeaking] 00:03:36.574 --> 00:03:37.671 Oh, look at the big pussy! Hey, big pussy! 00:03:37.671 --> 00:03:41.141 [Laughing and snorting] 00:03:41.141 --> 00:03:43.171 [Roaring] 00:03:43.171 --> 00:03:49.004 Oh, ho, ho! That is no way to treat our animal friends 00:03:49.004 --> 00:03:52.173 How would you like it if I pulled my pantyhose down and shook my heinie 00:03:52.173 --> 00:03:55.173 in your faces? Hmm? 00:03:55.173 --> 00:04:07.507 [Suspenseful music] 00:04:07.507 --> 00:04:08.507 (male voice on helicopter radio) Roger that. 00:04:08.507 --> 00:04:10.840 Uh, you guys want to look out for a blue recycle vehicle. 00:04:10.840 --> 00:04:20.500 [Sirens, car engine sounds and crashing] 00:04:20.500 --> 00:04:24.472 [Ronald laughing] 00:04:24.472 --> 00:04:26.904 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Just keep your eyes on the road. 00:04:26.904 --> 00:04:29.572 My eyes are on the road, but I got to watch out for the sidewalk... 00:04:31.356 --> 00:04:34.356 [dramatic music and helicopter whirring] 00:04:34.356 --> 00:04:40.896 [Diner music] 00:04:40.896 --> 00:04:43.864 Wow, Esso girl in that white outfit looking pretty good today. 00:04:43.864 --> 00:04:45.330 What I wouldn't give to... 00:04:45.330 --> 00:04:46.664 Save your energy, dude. 00:04:46.664 --> 00:04:49.534 Think she gives a damn about classic recipe, anymore? 00:04:49.534 --> 00:04:52.465 Fuck off. Sour's the new hot and spicy. 00:04:52.465 --> 00:04:55.697 Esso: Oh, you can both forget it. Trust me. 00:04:55.697 --> 00:04:57.565 You're pretty hard to forget. 00:04:57.565 --> 00:04:59.233 Nice mustache. 00:04:59.233 --> 00:05:01.598 It only tickles for a little while... 00:05:10.128 --> 00:05:12.760 [Animal noises] 00:05:12.760 --> 00:05:17.460 [Traffic noises] 00:05:21.059 --> 00:05:22.754 Burn some rubber dude! 00:05:23.017 --> 00:05:25.117 That was almost green! That light was green! 00:05:25.117 --> 00:05:27.218 Goodness! Where's a cop when you need one? 00:05:28.710 --> 00:05:29.894 No! 00:05:32.420 --> 00:05:33.852 Here we go! Watch out! 00:05:33.852 --> 00:05:37.585 Whoa, that's crazy! 00:05:37.585 --> 00:05:40.586 Hello! You deserved that, you bastard! 00:05:47.984 --> 00:05:51.008 [Ronald shouting] 00:05:54.957 --> 00:05:56.756 Goddamnit, look out! 00:05:56.756 --> 00:05:58.287 Christ, it's a fucking truck! 00:05:58.287 --> 00:06:02.422 Oh, fuck me! 00:06:02.422 --> 00:06:03.457 Oh, Jesus Christ! 00:06:06.687 --> 00:06:08.463 Oh, my Christ... 00:06:19.083 --> 00:06:21.449 Oh, this dick better be alive. 00:06:23.414 --> 00:06:26.083 Okay, boys, let's round 'em up. 00:06:26.083 --> 00:06:28.680 Oh, fuck, shit is going down! 00:06:28.680 --> 00:06:31.913 'Aight, boys, show 'em how we do it down here. 00:06:31.913 --> 00:06:33.646 Female voice over ready: Suspect's vehicle is in sight. 00:06:33.646 --> 00:06:35.079 Vehicle is disabled, blocking... 00:06:35.079 --> 00:06:38.179 Whoa, check it out, dude. 00:06:38.179 --> 00:06:39.612 Cops, dude. 00:06:39.612 --> 00:06:41.345 Move it. 00:06:41.345 --> 00:06:43.411 >>Awesome. 00:06:43.411 --> 00:06:45.279 < 00:06:45.279 --> 00:06:48.481 >>Jesus, look at all the guns. We should get one. 00:06:48.481 --> 00:06:52.848 Whoa, we can sell all the shit. We're gonna be so rich. 00:06:52.848 --> 00:06:54.181 Hello, hostage! 00:06:54.181 --> 00:06:56.182 Oh, shit! 00:06:56.182 --> 00:06:58.150 Back off you sons of bitches! 00:06:58.150 --> 00:06:59.417 Cowboy Cop: Hold your fire, boys! 00:06:59.417 --> 00:07:01.016 I'll shoot every last one of ya! 00:07:01.016 --> 00:07:03.778 You don't want to see Big Boy's brain splatter, do ya? 00:07:03.778 --> 00:07:08.827 I'll shoot every last one of ya right between the eyes! 00:07:08.827 --> 00:07:10.859 Goddamnit! 00:07:10.859 --> 00:07:14.827 Stay cool, little man. Just stay cool, bro. 00:07:14.827 --> 00:07:16.991 Old Ronald's got you now, this is gonna be just fine. 00:07:16.991 --> 00:07:19.194 We just... 00:07:19.194 --> 00:07:23.590 Oh, you fucking brat! Jesus Christ! 00:07:23.590 --> 00:07:26.192 [Gun firing] 00:07:26.192 --> 00:07:30.158 I'll kill every last one of you in this goddamn hell hole! 00:07:30.158 --> 00:07:32.325 No, no, no, hold it! No, no, no! 00:07:32.325 --> 00:07:34.125 This clown is all mine. 00:07:35.269 --> 00:07:36.155 Cowboy Cop: Damnit. 00:07:36.664 --> 00:07:38.980 Are you kidding me? [Growling] 00:07:38.980 --> 00:07:39.736 Cop: Ooo... 00:07:39.736 --> 00:07:47.133 Ronald: Wooo!!! Sweet Mary Ginger! Take this, you sons of bitches! Ahhh ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. 00:07:47.133 --> 00:07:52.862 [Continues laughing] 00:07:52.862 --> 00:07:57.230 I'm free! I'm free! 00:07:57.230 --> 00:07:59.130 Oh, Jesus Christ. 00:07:59.130 --> 00:08:04.894 [Roaring] 00:08:04.894 --> 00:08:08.033 [Animal Sounds] 00:08:08.033 --> 00:08:10.128 Dispatch, where the hell is swat? 00:08:10.128 --> 00:08:12.265 Female voice over radio: Swat, what's your ETA? 00:08:12.265 --> 00:08:16.230 [Muffled talk over the radio] 00:08:16.230 --> 00:08:18.067 Shoot that sumbitch in the heads. 00:08:18.067 --> 00:08:23.864 Voice over radio: Number one, you got a shot, you take it. 00:08:28.615 --> 00:08:30.678 Ronald: What the fuck was that? 00:08:31.412 --> 00:08:37.847 [Animal noises] 00:08:39.881 --> 00:08:42.712 Put a bullet in his brain, sniper one. 00:08:49.581 --> 00:08:59.393 [Rumbling] 00:08:59.393 --> 00:09:03.061 We're going down! 00:09:05.069 --> 00:09:08.205 Stay with me. You'll be fine. 00:09:08.373 --> 00:09:11.574 It's a goddamn earthquake! Run! 00:09:11.574 --> 00:09:15.472 [Animal noises and suspenseful music] 00:09:15.472 --> 00:09:17.703 Ho, ho... 00:09:23.670 --> 00:09:25.505 Come, now! 00:09:25.571 --> 00:09:26.906 Run, spicy, run! 00:09:26.906 --> 00:09:29.941 Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo! 00:09:30.642 --> 00:09:32.141 Shit! 00:09:32.141 --> 00:09:35.106 Ahhh! 00:09:37.369 --> 00:09:39.540 You're mine now, clown. 00:09:39.540 --> 00:09:41.173 Come and get it, pork chop. 00:09:41.173 --> 00:09:43.007 You're mine now, clownie! 00:09:43.007 --> 00:09:45.507 Come out, come out, wherever you are! 00:09:45.507 --> 00:09:48.338 Hello, asshole! 00:09:51.370 --> 00:09:54.504 Sorry for killing you, bro. [Laughing] 00:09:54.504 --> 00:09:56.235 C'mon, get in! 00:09:56.235 --> 00:09:58.804 Cool! Cop car! 00:10:02.241 --> 00:10:05.275 Yeah! [Laughing] 00:10:06.741 --> 00:10:09.041 Big Boy: Turn on the siren! 00:10:09.204 --> 00:10:24.537 [Crashing and suspenseful music] 00:10:24.537 --> 00:10:29.904 Weee! [Laughing] 00:10:29.904 --> 00:10:31.942 Oh, losers! 00:10:31.942 --> 00:10:35.873 Whoa, whoa...[Laughing] 00:10:35.873 --> 00:10:37.071 You white trash! 00:10:37.071 --> 00:10:43.141 Whoa! Woooo! Ha-ha, look at me, boys! 00:10:43.772 --> 00:10:47.308 Ohhh, ahhhh!!! 00:10:47.308 --> 00:10:50.473 No, no, no, no, no! Ahhh! 00:10:51.073 --> 00:10:55.272 Esso: Ahh! We have to get out of LA! It's all coming down! 00:10:56.569 --> 00:10:58.737 Big Boy: Punch it! Punch it! 00:10:58.737 --> 00:11:06.103 Ahh... 00:11:06.638 --> 00:11:17.907 [Suspenseful music] 00:11:17.907 --> 00:11:21.505 Esso: We're gonna make it. Dear God, we're gonna make it! 00:11:21.505 --> 00:11:31.403 [Suspenseful music] 00:11:31.403 --> 00:11:33.470 Esso: Ahhh!!! 00:11:33.470 --> 00:11:40.938 [Esso and Big Boy screaming] 00:11:58.575 --> 00:12:00.405 We're alive. 00:12:00.405 --> 00:12:04.103 Awesome! 00:12:05.870 --> 00:12:15.697 [Explosions] 00:12:15.697 --> 00:12:17.846 Esso: What the? Oh! 00:12:18.246 --> 00:12:41.510 [Rumbling and car alarms going off] 00:12:46.176 --> 00:12:56.944 [Waves crashing] 00:12:56.944 --> 00:13:01.812 [Music] 00:13:01.812 --> 00:13:11.445 Lyrics: I don't want to set the world on fire. 00:13:11.445 --> 00:13:23.911 I just want to start a flame in your heart. 00:13:23.911 --> 00:13:33.577 In my heart I have but one desire. 00:13:33.577 --> 00:13:45.712 And that one is you, no other will do. 00:13:45.712 --> 00:13:51.199 I've lost all ambition for worldly acclaim. 00:13:51.199 --> 00:13:56.831 I just want to be the one you love. 00:13:56.831 --> 00:14:02.399 And with your admission that you feel the same, 00:14:02.399 --> 00:14:08.027 I'll have reached the goal I'm dreaming of, believe me. 00:14:08.027 --> 00:14:17.599 I don't want to set the world on fire. 00:14:17.599 --> 00:14:29.997 I just want to start a flame in your heart. 00:14:29.997 --> 00:14:36.966 Talking over music: I don't want to set the world on fire, honey. 00:14:36.966 --> 00:14:40.495 I love you too much. 00:14:40.495 --> 00:14:50.161 I just want to start a great big flame down in your heart. 00:14:50.161 --> 00:15:01.998 You see, way down inside of me, darling I have only one desire. 00:15:01.998 --> 00:15:05.862 And that one desire is you. 00:15:05.862 --> 00:15:14.165 And I know nobody else ain't gonna do. 00:15:14.165 --> 00:15:20.028 Singing: I've lost all ambition for worldly acclaim. 00:15:20.028 --> 00:15:25.765 I just want to be the one you love. 00:15:25.765 --> 00:15:31.563 And with your admission that you feel the same, 00:15:31.563 --> 00:15:37.296 I'll have reached the goal I'm dreaming of, believe me. 00:15:37.296 --> 00:15:47.327 I don't want to set the world on fire. 00:15:47.327 --> 00:15:59.231 I just want to start a flame in your heart! 00:15:59.231 --> 00:16:01.000 Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I'm loving it!