Jake: Welcome everybody.
So, I'm really excited you're all here today.
Tori and I are going to be, co-facilitating this group and,
I just hope it's a place, that's safe for all of us to come, gather, and kind of
just share experiences, so I just really hope you're, excited to be here,
as excited as Tori and I are, and, we have a good time.
So, just to start off.
Uh, I just want to tell you the purpose of our group.
Basically, our purpose is to equip and empower all of us.
Uh, you're all students, and we're going to equip you all to empower and deal with your-
empower you, to deal with your stress.
Um, in some really practical ways.
And just to start off, like I said this is a safe place, so we're just going to
kind of talk about confidentiality for a second.
And confidentiality is basically, just where, what kind of happens in this room
stays in this room.
This is a safe place, like I said.
This is a place where we can all just kind of gather.
Kind of share our different, struggles, and concerns, fears, worries, and,
kind of just talk about it.
And, it's not going to leave this place, so.
I encourage you all to not tell anybody about what you talk about in this place.
Not gossip about each other, and we're not going to be telling anybody
about what you guys talk about in this space as well.
Uh, with that being said though,
obviously if somebody mentions something about hurting themselves or hurting others
or any kind of ideas around possibly doing that, that's kind of where we
talk to our supervisors and just make sure that everybody's safe.
And, that everything is good, and we're kind of growing and progressing in that.
So, that's just kind of what this groups about, we're just going to be dealing with
our stress, and me helping you along the ways, so.
Glad you're here.
Tori: So, with that I want to open it up to the group, what are some rules
or some guidelines that you'd like all of us to follow.
I know for me personally, like Jake was talking about, like I don't want what I
talk about here to go outside of this room.
So, let's just think of a few, um, guidelines, or common rules that are some
things we want to guide our group through this time.
Does anybody want to start?
Alison: Um, I think that, respect should really be a big point.
Because I don't want to be made fun of if somebody handles something a little
bit better than I have been handling it.
Tori: And your name was?
Allison: Allison.
Tori: Allison, thank you Allison, thank you for sharing.
Shannon: Um, I think that, we should all, come like, frequently to group.
I don't think we should skip out if that makes sense.
Tori: So, attendance is mandatory in class, okay.
Jake: That's a really good one.
Tori: Does that sound good to everybody?
And your name was?
Shannon: Shannon.
Tori: Shannon and Allison.
Lea: And I'm Lea, and I think you should be on time because I hate when people
are late and they interrupt what I'm doing and stuff, so.
Tori: Attendance, on time, and respect, confidentiality, is there anything else
in our group?
Lea: Maybe we should have to share.
Jake: Those are good ones, yeah.
Jake: Sharings good.
Tori: Participation in all aspects.
That's really good.
Jake: And if you don't share, (unintelligible) so that's good.
Tori: Even if it's just encouragement that's really good.
So, we're going to go ahead and let Jake do our game.
Jake: So, we're going to kind of just start off with a really fun icebreaker.
So, we're all here because we kind of have stress, and we're all dealing with stress
in some different ways.
So, we're going to do what we like to call the net or network.
Um, ways to deal with stress.
Or network of strains.
And this is really fun, we're just going to kind of go around.
You can kind of popcorn however you want.
However, we're going to use a string, to make our net.
And basically you're going to share some way you cope with stress, something that
helps you destress, um, or something you do to prevent stress.
And then we'll kind of take note of these in our minds.
And remember some really practical ways to decrease stress after kind of going
this point too.
And it's kind of just this really fun way to get an icebreaker started.
So, I'm going to kind of start.
Um, something I like to do to prevent stress, especially when I was in college and stuff.
Is just to make sure that I plan ahead.
The five p's of y'know, planning ahead for me are, prior planning prevents poor performance.
And I think that's just a really good way to prevent stress.
So, that's why, um, I'm going to throw it to Allison.
And you can just again say your name real quick and-
Allison: Um, I'm Allison, um, one of the things that I like to do with my friends
like, get off campus, and we like to go off and get something to eat.
And kind of just forget about all of our due assignments, and all of that.
And just kind of, take a, like a good hour or so to just kind of catch up,
and actually just talk.
And have a good conversation.
Jake: That's awesome, yeah.
Tori: Thank you for sharing.
Jake: So, just throw the string, and as we kind of go around
you'll see a net starting to form, which is kind of fun.
Shannon: Okay, so, I'm Shannon again, and um, kind of similar to what Allison said.
I like to go to the coffee shop my roommate works at.
'Cause it's just, easy, get some coffee, do a little bit of homework,
and it's more relaxing than just sitting in my room doing it.
Tori: Thanks for sharing.
[Laughter]
Shannon: Golly.
[Laughter]
Lea: Um, the way that I like to destress, I like to work out.
And I feel like it sends a nice release and it's also healthy for me so.
Tori: Thanks for sharing.
Um, one way I like to destress is, it sounds like you guys all like to go
somewhere, I actually like to stay home in my room.
And I have Christmas lights that I like to light, and light, and I call my grandma.
And just get everything off my chest, 'cause, yeah, just kind of talk through
my problems and what's going on.
Jake: Something that helps me destress when I have time, maybe on like a break or
at the end of the semester, is just to go on like a really short weekend trip or
something, and just kind of go on one, I think that's really helpful, okay.
Shannon: Ah, okay.
Um, I like to keep a calendar.
That helps me destress.
If I just know everything that I have going on in the near future it really
helps to be able, like a whiteboard that we write it down, so.
Lea: Um, another way I like to destress, I like to talk to my mom.
Like she helps me like, I don't know, to process things, and to, like, strategize,
like what's important, and what can wait, and all of that.
Lexi: Having a support system, that's good.
Allison: Um, kind of piggybacking off of yours and hers, I like to, uh, call my family
back home, 'cause I'm kind of far away.
So, being able to kind of talk to them, and just kind of tell them everything
that's going on, or, not even like school and stuff but just like everything that's
going on with life just kind of helps me relax and take everything in, and just,
y'know, take a deep breath, and realize like, my mom will like let me know.
I can do this, you're fine, like just settle down.
Tori: That's awesome.
Jake: Sounds like your family is a good supporting element.
Allison: They are.
Tori: So, the second one is kind of like Shannon said.
I like to organize everything.
So, I color code everything, put it in a planner, put it on sticky notes,
tell people about it.
I have reminders, everywhere for everything, so.
It helps you be very organized, so you can, checklist of my friends.
Jake: So, has everybody gone twice?
Okay, this is good.
So, just kind of look at the string, think about all the different ways that you can
be thinking of, possible opportunities to decrease your stress, or, just kind of
feel a little more relaxed this week, yeah?
Lexi: Yeah, thanks for sharing guys.
Alright, so with that we're going to go ahead and open it up.
Um, we're going-like we talked about, we're talking about some stress.
So, let's go ahead and just go around the room and really open it up for some things
that have been stressing us out this week.
Some things that have been on our mind.
Something that's weighing us down.
As we're going through this I'm sure you've thought about something that's
really, like, burdening you.
So, let's just go ahead and open it up.
Um, I can start.
Um, we have some big assignments that are coming up that are due.
So, having to just sit for awhile and reorganize everything.
Just kind of been stressful to see how many things are on my to do
list, so I just sat today and reorganized everything.
Put it all in my planner, color coded it, made sticky notes, hole punch everything,
put it where it goes.
So, working on organization was stressing me out and dealt with a little bit.
But now, just seeing how much I have to do in the next few weeks is really getting to me.
So, that's mine if somebody else wants to share.
Allison: Um, one of my biggest things is, time managment.
It's really hard, because, I'm an athlete.
So, we're doing a lot of traveling, and since we're a spring sport, it's um,
it really conflicts with a lot of scheduling and classes and stuff, because of the
inclement weather like everything gets rescheduled, and we're trying to put all
these games in a matter of like, three weeks.
And, it's really stressful just, y'know like I'm missing class, like I don't think
I've been to one of my major classes in like probably a month.
I haven't been there, and all of the sudden I'm missing like, oh my gosh, we
have these assignments due, we have these assignments due, and all of the sudden,
I have to make up a test that I'm going to miss and I have to schedule beforehand.
And then I have another quiz, and all these other papers, and it's really
starting to get to me, because, y'know, being an athlete you have to figure out
how to, um, what's the word, like you have to figure out how to balance everything.
So, you have to like, kind of like think ahead and start like, okay you're like
'I'm going to miss this test so I have to try and make it on this day'.
Plot twist, game gets cancelled rescheduled for that day, so you have to reschedule
something that's already rescheduled, and so you end up missing that and teachers
kind of start, or professors start, kind of getting on your case because you're
missing so much class, and you're not turning in things in like on time.
Or you're asking for extensions, or you're asking for, y'know.
And it's really starting to like, be a hassle with games and everything.
Like, I'm really tired, like I really don't get back to campus until,
like, like I'm leaving at like nine in the morning sometimes and I'm not getting
back until one am with an eight o'clock class the next day.
And there's literally no time to do homework, and, I'm one of those people
that get, motion, well not motion sick, if I try to read or do homework on like
a moving vehicle, I get like sick, and I can't do it.
And I'll like, this time goes away, and I come back, and I'm just too tired from
doing like, from moving.
I'm physically exhausted, and I think I'm just really starting to get to the
point where I'm mentally tired.
And my tolerance and everything is just going downhill, from like, here on out.
And I'm like stressing out because big things are being due, and I have to find
out literally how to do all of them in a matter of days.
Tori: I'm sure we all of something that can really, impact Allison, and we really
thank you for sharing.
Really thank you for the time that you have taken out to come here with us.
'Cause like you said your schedule is so busy, so, thank you for committing to
this time, and coming to share and actually getting [unintelligible]
Does anybody else want to share?
Lea: Well, this last year I had something change for me personally.
Like, I, last semester I was able to see completely and I didn't have any issues.
And then, like, the day after our last final, I went and got a minor surgery,
and when I woke up from my surgery I didn't have vision.
So, like, I've been having to deal with losing my vision, not working, figuring
out if I'll ever get my vision back.
Will this ever happen again?
And on top of that like, I've become almost like a burden because like I can't
do a lot of things for myself, so I have to depend on other people that assist me.
And that stresses me out because, I was raised to be very independent.
And having to be dependent, I guess it's, it's beneficial because it's teaching me
how to need someone, but I don't like needing people.
And that's just been hard for me, now, plus assignments and everything.
It's really hard because now I used to be able to write a whole paper in a night.
Now I have to plan three, four, nights ahead of time.
Or, like, I'm doing something on the computer in class and everyone else
is done, and, I'm still trying to figure out what link they hit.
And so, it's just really stressful, and like the unknown.
And, um, and like no one's really given me answers, and it's scary at the same time.
I just don't know like, where to go.
And I have some people like, 'Oh, you just got to have to be faithful and stuff.'
And it's like, I've been faithful since the beginning, but how faithful do you want
me to be?
And, what point, do I get to where I'm wrong for being frustrated, and tired
of waiting, and, so.
It's just been hard, so it's like a challenge between my faith and, it all.
So, it's just hard.
Lexi: Thanks for sharing.
Really appreciate you being here, and sharing with everybody.
Like I said about Allison, we all have something to learn from you,
and us-and you from us.
So, really thank you for sharing.
That has to be hard physically and mentally.
Like you said, dealing with your eyesight being gone and having to work through
everything like you said, has slowed you down but, knowing that your still taking
steps to work towards achievements, awesome, we're so thankful that you're here to share with us.
Thank you.
Shannon: I think what's been like the most stressful thing for me this semester is
that I've had two close family members pass away, and, um, kind of like with school
I've been busy.
And there's always people.
Like my roommates are always there, and so like, I can put it on the backburner.
Like, my grades just goes away for a little bit.
And I'm really stressed out about going home and dealing with it.
'Cause I know like, I'm going to go home, and I spent like, especially in the first
month, because I nanny, and the kids I nanny are still in school.
So, I don't have a lot going on the first month.
And so I know I'm going to have just like a lot of time to just think.
And, I'm really not looking forward to that.
And it's been stressing me out because like the closer we get to finals the closer
I get to going home.
And like, I want to go home and I want to spend time with my family.
But I also would like to just not think about the grief that would accompany, so.
Tori: Thank you for sharing.
We're so thankful that you're here.
Like I said, for the both of them.
We can learn something from you, and hopefully you can learn something from us.
We really really appreciate you.
Jake: Yeah, I mean it sounds like, obviously everyone is going through a lot.
It's kind of starting to wear on people and be really burdensome.
But, you guys are here.
You guys are starting to make some actual steps towards really starting to
handle that stress and dealing with that.
So I think that's really good.
Um, it's definitely a strength to sit here.
Um, trying to make a difference.
You're all very committed ladies.
[unintelligible] so I think that's good.
Tori: So, like we said our common theme.
Or our, pretty much our purpose for the group is dealing with our stress.
And we all have stress.
So, we talked about some like planner organization and we talked about
thinking ahead, and we thought about, um, the stigmas that've been put on you to
hold you back, but dealing with the planning ahead.
So, a lot of it sounds like, that we have in common is time management.
So, kind of, like you said.
The time that you have when going back home, what am I going to do with this time?
So, um, that's really good for you sharing.
Thank you guys, really do appreciate it.
And I think too, Lea how she was sharing, how she said she's had the time that she
has to think about those things.
That, um, it does take me three days now to write a one page paper instead of the one day.
So, really thinking forward, and thinking ahead, and how Allison has to plan for
'Oh, this is going to happen, or this is going to come up, so I have to plan this.'
Like, you said, rescheduling and rescheduling and it's, like-like Jake said,
it is wearing on everybody.
So, being here to deal with that is awesome.
And I really think one thing that sounded like a common thread was, you guys can
chime if you want, but it really sounded like time management.
And figuring out not even, it's kind of like, relax time management for you,
and a little bit more for you, and even heavier for you.
So, like, actually thinking through like, what am I going to do when I go home.
What are some things I can do to figure out.
That's awesome that you guys are here and sharing.
Lea: You see that bird?
It's like a really pretty.
Shannon: Wow.
Lea: And I like can't see it good but like.
Shannon: The color reminds me of Allison's shoes.
Allison: Dude aren't these like so cute.
Shannon: Yeah, they're so nice.
Allison: I got them from Nike the other day.
Jake: That bird, I think it is actually a blue jay.
Um, but, maybe we can, let's try and redirect everything, let's try to stay
focused on our stress for awhile.
Like Tori said, time management is and issue.
And I know for me, the biggest problem with time management is getting distracted
so, let's just try to redirect things, um.
So, like we were saying we're going to talk about time management.
Tori: Does anybody want to, um, share their testimony of anything,
of time management, or how something that is a strength that you've done,
that can possibly benefit any of us?
Shannon: Uh, I always, at the very beginning of the semester.
I go through and I take my syllabus, or my syllabi?
And I write like all of the papers and assignments and tests into that.
And that way like, I can open my planner and like look at the next week
and go, okay I have this paper and this project due, so I need to like start
working on those.
And I feel like, yeah, especially for like these two, they don't have, Allison's
schedule is like always crazy, like if she had something like that she might be able
to just look at it and be like, okay so I have to figure out where to fit these
assignments, and yeah.
Lexi: [unintelligible]
Lea: Um, well, with my situation like, I think it's beneficial.
Because I've always been a procrastinator, so, it's teaching me now how to plan ahead
and how to make time for things that I need to be doing.
So, I feel like when I get back to some what normal, like, it's something that
I learned how to do, like I'll be able to continue to do.
Help myself in the long run.
Tori: [unintelligible]
Allison: That kind of goes off of what Sharron said.
I guess, one of the things that I've learned, knowing how hectic seasons
can be, um, to kind of, look ahead and see what's on the syllabi and kind of,
start worrying about when it is due.
Like, am I going to be busy?
Slash how to separate that and get to know in advance.
Just in case, y'know things like this do happen.
Lexi: Realizing that about yourself is hard to admit, and we really appreciate it.
Thank you guys for all being here.
Turn to you about one more time so we can, alright.
Jake: Uh, yeah, we can do that one more time.
And so for this last-last one, let's think of.
We, we all kind of talked about some meaningful examples.
Um, but, let's just maybe come up with one more idea that we have for
time management that we can apply to this week.
Obviously our goal is to deal with stress as well in our lives.
But we can kind of partialize that and break it up a little bit, and just come
up with maybe like one easy step this week that we can try and
decrease stress a little bit.
So, we'll just go around once.
And come up with a really simple plans for this week.
I'll start the web.
Um, I plan just to decrease stress this week a little bit.
Um, we're all a Christian school, so for me, I think spirituality is a really
important, and um, just kind of like refocusing yourself, um,
praying a little bit.
I know that can always just helps me, feel a little bit at ease.
So, [mumbling]
Tori: Um, I think one thing we all talked about was working on our planners.
And kind of like Jake said too, um, because I do schedule everything.
So I think um, talking about my own, uh, faith, I feel like I want to start taking
in more to what God has for my life.
And what steps I need to be taking.
So, making those decisions through prayerful actions and that kind of stuff, so.
Allison: Um, I think this week, I'll try and work a little bit harder on using
my time wisely, whenever I have like free time to get something done,
I can start working on it in advance to, chill myself out a bit.
Lea: Um, I think this week I'm going to try to be more positive.
And not be stuck on the things that I can't do, but look at the things I have
overcome and that I am able to do.
Shannon: Um, this week, since it's the weather's getting nicer,
um, I actually have a hike planned.
So, like the third of the month since the weathers gotten nice.
And it really relaxes me.
I just love being in nature and seeing God's creation and everything.
Lexi: Well we all thank you for being here and sharing and opening up.
It's hard to open up, and let's just remember the confidentiality.
And also let's remember the skills that we learned today to get us thorugh these
next few weeks.
Thank you all for sharing, I'll see you again.
Jake: Excited to see you guys again.