Your Own Heart is Becoming the Beloved
26 January 2025 (with subtitles)
Q: I feel you sometimes you say,
'We don't know how honest or how open we are'.
And I feel it.
M: Okay, you say, 'Sometimes, we don't know how open we are'.
I'm a little bit with this. But you're open enough to come here.
M: Do you know what shop this is? Q: Yes.
M: What shop is it? [laughter]
Q: The shop ... Empty shop.
M: Empty shop? [laughter]
M: It's very smart. Very good, okay. Q: Maybe.
M: Okay, so you come for some emptiness. [laughs]
[laughter]
M: Okay. Q: I just feel it's easy to miss this one.
M: In an empty shop you cannot buy. You can only Be.
There's nothing to purchase.
It's a good title, 'Come to the empty shop'. [laughter]
Thieves in an empty house.
I want to use it. I want you to use this.
Why do you use this example? 'Empty. Empty shop.'
Q: What I feel is I cannot be, I cannot be 100 percent sure
if there is anything I'm not seeing.
M: Yes. I don't know if I've ever met anybody
who is a 100 percent sure of anything.
Except that you are.
Maybe this you can say. You're sure that you exist,
and that you are experiencing or perceiving.
M: Do you agree or not? You know that you are? Q: Yes.
M: And that you are experiencing? Q: Yes.
M: So let's work only with this then,
as everything else is traffic to this.
So everything comes and it's being perceived.
It comes and goes, it's being perceived. Why is perceiving here?
Because you are here, you exist. Now we must look.
Leave everything that can come and go.
Leave all of that now. Only you and perceiving.
And, of you and perceiving,
which is most true, if one has to go?
Hmm?
You say, 'I perceive'. 'I perceive.'
So, 'I perceive', means every experiencing,
whatever is happening is perceived by this sense of 'I'.
M: Yes? Q: Yes.
M: So you could even say, 'I am not perceiving'.
Which means, I'm perceiving that I'm not perceiving.
I'm going to keep it clean and simple.
So ...
Speaker 1: Guruji, how about you're perceiving emptiness?
Q: Just when you say, 'What is more true?'
I don't remember exactly what you said, like, 'You're perceiving?'
M: You know that you exist. Q: Yes.
M: And that you are perceiving or experiencing your perceiving
through the senses or the mind?
If some inner state or outer states [come],
that's being perceived by you.
So everything that comes, can go.
Mental states, emotional states, friends can come,
people live, people stay, people die,
you feel sickness, you feel health,
you feel excitement, feel boredom, feel tired, feel energy.
M: All this you perceive, and they come and go.
M: You who perceives them,
does that come and go? Is it personal?
M: Also, personal states come. Q: Yes.
M: So, that's also amongst the field of perceivable, isn't it?
So even those things, and the feeling of 'I',
and an autobiography, your ideas about life,
all of those personal things, they are also perceived. Okay?
M: And they can change shape, and their change is also perceived.
So they cannot be that which perceives them.
M: That's true? Q: Yes.
M: That which is perceiving, is it
material or immaterial? It's immaterial?
Q: It's not material. M: It's not material.
Q: I cannot say what it is. But I experience that ...
M: Who is speaking now?
M: It's not a trick question. Q: I'm looking.
M: Obviously, the response is coming so fluidly and so comfortably,
there's no strain to comment that all these things are being perceived.
And that whatever is perceiving,
itself cannot be perceived by a quality.
Is it male or female? Is it any of these things? No.
So, answers, responses are coming from there.
So even the responses are coming and they are also perceived,
pouring out of some, whatever, something, or no thing.
Q: I don't know if it's pouring out of something. It's perceived.
M: Okay, they are appearing also, they appear.
So that which is perceiving them, what is to be said of that?
Is it a structure or no structure?
Q: It's no structure. M: Okay.
M: Is that significant for you? Q: It is significant. It is.
M: Okay. Where does the problem start, if one starts?
M: Is it a new skill that you developed?
And anyone can apply [this]. It's not particular to you.
It's for anyone. For everyone there's a sense of 'I', 'I Am',
but it's quickly given to the body, 'I am this person',
'I'm from Germany', 'I'm from this place', 'I'm a doctor',
'I'm this and that and that', is acquired.
So it takes on the sense of being something identifiable.
But from your place, that is also a construct that is seen.
The 'I' that is seeing them is not those things.
You cannot say it is a doctor or a nurse,
or it's 1.7 cm,
170 cm, you know, it doesn't have any of those things.
What is it like unto itself?
If it doesn't connect with points of perception
or things to perceive; by itself?
Q: It's not bothered by anything.
M: Yes. Okay, bring the things back.
M: Is it bothered by them? Q: No.
Q: It is, if identity is missed.
M: If identity? Q: Is not seen.
M: So, identity brings all the trouble then?
Q: Identifying brings all the trouble. But for who?
M: Ah. Are you asking me about who? [laughter]
M: You have to find out. Right here is good.
Q: The trouble cannot be for that which is not touched by it.
M: Yes.
M: Is, 'That which is not touched by it' an object of perception?
Q: No. M: Where is it?
Q: It has no location.
M: It has no problem? Q: It has no problem.
M: Okay, let's go to where the problems are.
M: Why are you trying to solve a thing that has no problem?
Q: 'Why try to solve a thing that has no problem?'
M: Yes. It has no problem! [laughter]
So where will we go now to find a problem?
It is good. It's fine! We're looking and it's good.
I don't want to feel, 'Ah! Yes. The end of the thing. Okay, I go now.'
Because problems begin somewhere
and everyone is troubled by it.
Who is the everyone? You must also find.
It appears that you are no one, and you are someone.
In this receding you come to,
'Ah, actually, I am here. 'I', but 'I' as what is here?'
Well, it's certainly not the person.
It's not male or female. It's not Muslim or Christian.
It's something ... Something, nothing about it.
M: Is it a valuable discovery? Q: Yes.
M: Yes. So that's not where problems are. Q: No.
M: Okay. So where the problems come is in the place of identity,
M: where, 'I am someone'. Q: Yes.
M: Is there a way that this sense of being someone ...
How does that look now from the place of your discovery?
'Actually, fundamentally,
I am not any of these things that have been spoken of.'
How do the things ... The world of things, what is their value?
They don't impact upon this,
but, somehow, this must be the cause of them playing,
and here the sense 'I' is also there,
and a very familiar feeling of 'I'. But is it stable?
Is it always constant, this 'I', now, the second 'I'?
Q: The moving 'I' is not constant. M: Yes. Yes.
M: So is it not the moving 'I' who came to satsang?
Q: Yes. M: Yes.
M: Because what? It cannot control its world.
Q: And it's good it cannot, because I wouldn't, it wouldn't ...
Q: It wouldn't find out what it really is if it could control anything.
Like if there wouldn't be this trouble and this pain in this identifying,
there would be no urge to ...
M: So it must have an urge. It must have a drive.
What is the drive of this 'I', which is the 'I'-person?
Because all the human beings,
we have this mask or sickness of 'I' -me. 'I'-me.
What is the 'I'-me really in search of?
Everybody can take this.
The 'I'-me, is it quiet and content and happily 'I'-me?
No. So what does it want?
Speaker 2: To be free of suffering.
M: It's to be free of suffering.
Only you? Only you? [murmurs in sangha]
Oh, okay, okay. To be free of suffering.
M: What is it suffering from? Group: Its projection.
M: Its projection. Its projection. Da da da ...
We're on common ground now. It's having some suffering.
Q: But I'm not sure that this 'I', this identified one,
wants to be at peace.
M: Wants to be? Q: At peace.
M: It doesn't want to be at peace? Q: I'm not sure.
M: You speaking, now, are not that.
M: Is that what you're saying? Q: Not being ...?
M: Not the person; you're not sure if that person-self is really ...
Who is speaking now? Just to be clear. And look.
You're looking from where?
From an identified place or a not identified place?
There is a feeling, 'I Am', I call it consciousness,
that 'I Am'-ness, without strong identification with the personal sense,
that is, I'm going to call it the Brahman, for the moment.
Only because I can I have another word called Parabrahman.
Would you understand? All right. So it is the consciousness.
It is the guru state of being,
which is all, for everybody, it is there.
It is that in which the world of person and its world, and all of this,
is seen from here, but is not disturbed by that.
And from this place, 'I Am' has the power,
by looking into the realm of the 'I'-me and the 'I'-person,
it imparts some grace to it, because in the form of the 'I'-person ...
Are we following? It's good? In the form of the 'I'-person
it is still consciousness, it's a mode of consciousness.
And that sense of being, if you want to call it a soul ...
Are we all right for the moment? Just working words.
The soul, it has different characteristics.
In India, they speak of the different gunas,
which are kind of energetic qualities
that affect the soul, some soul tendency.
Q: Sorry, but the soul you call the person now? Or what?
M: Yes. Let me just continue and then you'll see.
M: So then, the sense of being somebody,
an entity with characteristics, with a history,
with association, with parents, with family,
with all of these things, self-description,
that makes you uniquely you.
At least, for the time being,
because also you keep changing what you say about yourself.
If you keep on writing an autobiography over a period of 20 years,
it's going to keep changing; so the person is not stable.
Whereas, the 'I Am',
which generates the projection of the mind and person ...
I'm going to call person and mind similar, for the moment.
If you want me to cover because it's good if you understand this thing,
then it becomes more clear, no?
So the ...
M: The personal state of consciousness is where all the conflicts can come.
Desire can come. Pain, life, death, you and me.
This, that, up, down, heaven, hell;
all these things are in there, for the person.
It's never a stable environment!
And even unto itself, with nothing to interfere,
it interferes with itself.
It also suffers from its own, 'I'm lonely,
I don't know what I'm going to do'.
So it's never without trouble.
But as it's also on a journey of this world, as we know it,
each one is on a journey of self-discovery.
It may not be conscious of it like that.
For a while, our urge for discovering things can be merely phenomenal.
Like, 'I want to be a lawyer', 'A doctor', 'To be famous',
'I want to be a singer', 'I want to be something'.
And all this produces fruit. It's a power! It produces fruit.
You may indeed become famous or rich, and all these kinds of things.
But we are discovering, even those who became very rich,
at some point they're not satisfied with being rich,
as the whole system is built like that.
You can never be really satisfied,
really genuinely satisfied, until you're home.
And 'home' means to be awake to your true nature,
which is not somewhere else, not over there.
It's like peeling away.
So ...
So my way of looking at it
is that the person is the one who takes the journey,
of life.
And I would not say...
In Advaita thought, 'The person doesn't exist', 'The mind doesn't exist',
'The world doesn't exist' ... And ultimately it's true,
but you must understand in what light it is true.
Because when you say to beings who have a strong idea of self
and who have a philosophy, have relief, have belief, all these things,
'It's not true, it doesn't exist',
it's very hurtful, you don't know ... 'What you're saying!'
Some can adopt that thing and indeed learn and take that attitude,
but inside it's not true! Something has to be clear.
So the sense of being someone, it is consciousness!
When you say 'I', when you feel 'I' ...
Because nobody gave you 'I'. Everything else you receive.
Nobody ... Your parents didn't say, 'I'm going to name you 'I''.
And yet all the beings have this intuitive self-reference of 'I'.
Not the English version.
So even mosquitoes have a feeling of 'I'.
'I' points to existence, 'I exist'. That's what it really means.
But the 'I'-person very rarely touches on this root,
that it means existence and that it is conscious.
It doesn't even know that it cannot die, as consciousness.
Consciousness cannot die!
But its belief, 'I am the body', can die.
But it doesn't mean It dies. The body will die.
But what you are cannot die.
It will just transfer for more experiencing,
if there are more things to experience.
So this urge inside, with different beings in different bodies ...
I put it like that, identities in different bodies,
are on a journey, depending upon your maturity.
Some people only want to be famous!
Or, 'I want 5 children.' 'To live in a beautiful house.'
'I want enough money to do what I want.'
Those desires are permitted by Parabrahman, by Paramatman,
that life gives the life in this.
All desires can be had. Good and bad.
And it will help you to fulfil your desires.
Even a thief, He wants you to be a better thief.
It gives the power to learn to be a better thief!
As God has a use for you, as a great thief! [laughter]
Because He is going to perfect the other ones,
who may be somewhere more evolved, through your thievery.
They need this thievery to move on even more.
The whole thing is beautifully managed [laughter]
by Paramatman taking care of all things.
Not one thing goes missing. Not only for human beings,
the ant kingdom, the bee kingdom,
the horse and every kingdom. He is the God of all of them.
They have their rules. They have their philosophies.
They have their ways. They have their likes and dislikes.
They have their urges and their suffering.
Everything is evolving, somehow.
Let's stick to our world for a little bit. Okay?
So in our world, this urge is there,
and for a while, depending upon ...
Because not all the beings are at the same level of maturity.
He made it like that. He didn't say, 'All who are mature like that go here,
and all of you mature ...' No, He mixes it up. And we fight.
But we need it, also. Do you see?
I'm saying this so you don't complain about your life.
Everything that's sent to you, if you take it only as,
'This thing happened to me, I didn't do anything [to get] it'.
Actually, you earned it!
And you have to make use of the experience of it to transcend in yourself.
As you transcend in yourself
your light becomes light for others also.
But don't think like that, 'I am my light ...' [laughter]
Do you understand?
So, if you have this attitude, okay.
But somehow this is needed, it's pointing out something.
Rather than, 'Oh, they are attacking me ...'
The self, as a person, is also very myopic
and very self-protecting.
That's why he doesn't grow so quick, because it feels vulnerable.
And when you're vulnerable it locks in
and [mimics sniper shooting]. It locks in.
When you see these things, you realise, '... But a deeper consciousness ...'
She's just been speaking from this deeper consciousness,
in which the sense of the person and its world
are seen with more detachment.
You say, 'But I speak with you ... But from here, I'm actually just fine.'
What do you want? What do you need?
What is your problem? 'Actually, here, nothing actually.'
For a problem, I have to go back over there.
And over there is in the state of the person.
'My neighbours', and, 'My relationship'. 'And things ...'
And, 'Will I get enough money and ...' These are the woes of the person.
They are here to make you grow. To help you.
When you see and understand this a little bit,
you don't get angry, 'Oh, it's them'. 'They are the cause.'
But you use it.
But when you come here, I want to fast forward! Which you can.
You can go tick tock, tick tock ...
Or you can somehow come into big seeing.
You can travel in footsteps. Or you can travel by galaxies.
So here, I feel, and I assume, you may correct me,
that when you come here, there is, within you, the capacity
to [exhales], to flower into higher states.
When you realise, 'Wait a second,
I'm kind of wasting my time in the person, quite a lot.
Because now I'm aware of myself in consciousness, as consciousness.'
And what happens by that?
Well, as you learn to observe, as I've shown,
learn to observe things more, as we're too identified.
If you're identified you slow down.
And what happens? You start to accumulate concepts.
And the more concepts you accumulate,
the more opaque you become, the more solid, the more rigid.
If you know people who have a pile of concepts,
their concepts and your concepts can't dance. 'No, no, whoa, whoa.'
Even family can be like this.
So, what you will earn is, by observing with detachment,
learning to look and see if you can catch this seeing,
where even your person,
your person, the subject of all your world, is itself seen!
When you can see, you can say, 'Whoa!'
It's not just a world, but the personal self
that has the reflection of that world.
They are, I say, two sides of one coin. They go together.
Your mistake has been your identifying yourself and feeling,
'But it's the world, everything is wrong there. It's not me.'
What makes you do that?
It's because your person also goes by the title of 'I'.
And 'I' means God! Do you understand?
Your 'I' is consciousness, which is the godly principle.
Then you understand this 'I', the 'I'-me, and the 'I'-'I', or the 'I am'.
You see the difference.
When we go into 'I'-me, all your life struggles, 'This, I can't get ...',
'This one is sick and ...' It is strong! It is strong.
It didn't have its origin in one body life-form.
It's been going on for a long time.
But gradually, it's growing through, what I call, the 'guna field'.
'Gunas' mean some energy which is ...
Tamasic guna means when the entity of self is more resistant
and more easily troubled
and full of identity and resistance,
that's called tamasic guna, tama guna.
Then the energy, the entity's energy,
can also have something you can call raja guna,
which means the soul is more energetic, it's full of desire.
It wants to do things, it's adventurous. It has many ideas ...
And then, also, another guna, called sattva guna.
Sattva guna is more pure,
meaning the energy field is more attracted to spirit.
It wants to evolve in consciousness. It wants to realise.
These gunas are playing within the beingness.
Some gunas have more ascendance, more strong in one.
Another is stronger in another one. It's like this.
So all of you, I say,
you must be exhibiting some stronger sattva guna.
But you have raja guna in there, pulling at your tail. [laughter]
And sometimes tamas guna, 'Uhh' [tuts]. [mimics despair]
It's all part of it. [laughter]
It's a kind of fun way of looking, no? [laughter]
It's not that funny, actually. [more laughter]
But we understand a little bit.
So, somehow to come to satsang,
without anyone pressuring you to do that,
means your soul is attracted, a bit, towards it.
And the more you find out, and not just intellectually,
but begin to experience your understanding, experiential understanding,
you're encouraged within yourself.
You're falling in love.
If you fall in love with someone and you're really falling in love deeply,
you will require nobody to remind you to remember your beloved.
The urge comes from inside, it's pulling,
always, whatever you're doing you're thinking ... [laughter]
So your own Self, your own heart is becoming the beloved
of the sense of your person.
It's in the sattva guna. It's drawing more and more.
After sattva guna what happens?
They call one state 'turiya', which means becoming clean,
functioning more from consciousness.
The lower states don't trouble you, they don't trouble.
Identity doesn't trouble you. At some point it won't trouble you.
People call you, 'So you are Paulette?'
'Yes, it's my name.' You still use the name.
When you wake up fully into yourself, you will not have to change name.
You don't have to call yourself Parabrahman,
or some wonderful name.
You can still use your name.
But you are not this name.
You see, it's like, somehow, something's unfolding.
Concepts don't stick with you.
The more they don't stick with you, they're not so important.
Then all is available for you!
You can listen without having to decide,
'No, I believe in this. What do you believe? What is your standpoint?'
It doesn't matter, actually, because you're in the all-ness of your being.
Is it okay that we're talking like this? Let's clear the field. Okay?
M: We're sweeping the house, so you understand.
M: When you say, '... I don't know why I keep getting these things' ...
That relationship-building is sticky.
So I don't say, I'll show you how to solve that problem, that problem ...
I say, No. Learn something!
Learn to observe your sense of identity, and its likes and dislikes,
but with some distance. Learn. You can see!
And learn to detach.
And what did I say?
Should I say 99.9 percent of the things in the world do not trouble you?
Which means you can walk anywhere in the world; things don't [attach].
No, you can move. It's natural detachment!
But the 0.1 percent [laughter] of the things that matter,
'Oh, yeah. But no, no, whoa, I don't like pink!'
[imitates repulsion] 'Not me!' 'I don't like this!'
'Peacock feathers!' 'Oh, keep that away from me!'
All this kind of stuff keeps you tied up in the shape of the person.
You may feel proud, 'I'm this kind of person, not that kind of person'.
We don't realise how we cheat
and shrink from our beauty.
All of this is you!
You will never learn and really ...
Love everyone! Even those not yet born, you love.
'Oh, no, but I've never seen them. Oh, I didn't know.' No, no!
Do you understand? Because it's your nature.
It's not just your choice.
And so I say, What is the simple thing?
Learn to observe, more and more, with detachment. Learn to see.
The mind, the maya-mind says, 'No, that's wasting time.
I don't get anything from doing that.
I fall asleep. Whenever I try to look without attachment, I fall asleep.
Even here when we did the 'Just Be' exercise ...'
Ding dong! I say like this ... [mimics falling asleep] [laughter]
You just woke up! [laughter]
What is this? It is a kind of psychic resistance. It's in us.
It's something that is trying to resist
the coming into the fullness of yourself.
It's a force, this maya force, it's a little resistance.
But don't be worried. It will soon change.
The minute you begin to feel the darshan of your own heart
[deep inhale and exhale] there's so much encouragement.
But you must earn it!
And what the teacher will do is teach this thing,
but you have to be on board!
You have to be on board. You have to be there.
Because even greatest guru cannot help you if your heart's not on board.
You must work for it. And look what it is, also!
It's very mystical. But it's not difficult.
The path has been made so clean.
The higher you go, the purer the climate,
the simpler the advice, if you can take it.
But the stronger the resistance!
Because your earth self [mimics resistance] is fighting.
It's lazy. 'Argh.' It's like this. You have to watch him.
You have to learn to observe this, okay? And press on.
And what you have, you may say at some point,
'I have nothing to encourage me because my mind is just killing me ...'.
And some people say, 'But Guruji told you to do it'.
'Yes, yes. Yeah, yeah, I'll do it.'
Why? Because you have faith.
And enough faith to give you some strength, some courage.
Then also life, the source, empowers you, because you chose.
When you choose ... You've chosen many things,
you can keep on choosing many things in life,
but you're choosing the Supreme!
You're choosing God-consciousness, you're choosing the Self.
When I speak like this, I get touched, you see?
If you choose This,
then you are really making use of this life-form.
Because you can choose many things, and they will delay you.
And it's okay! You like this thing. You like that.
It's freedom. It's okay, it's okay.
But if you have, in your heart, this choice,
then you have taken the highest choice!
And you will be tested!
And you must pass this test.
And then all the grace of Parabrahman comes for you.
If you say, 'I went around the corner,
somebody went, 'Boo!' I don't want to go there.'
Then you come, 'Guruji what is the highest?'
I'd say, You didn't even pass the lowest! [laughter]
M: You want the highest.
I say, a little person comes, says, 'Look at you. Oh, no, no.'
And you're [imitates despair]. I say, but it's small things.
How are you going to overcome? By looking and learning to let the fear ...
Don't try to stop the feelings. Let them come. Don't try to stop them.
What you need is not to stop them, but to have clear seeing of them!
See that it's just the life force!
The force of habit is playing and this is its domain, [indicates the body]
these are its sensors.
It's playing in here. And the mind is playing.
And you say, 'But how is it I can see this? How come I'm seeing this?'
Gradually, you stay in your satsang, you listen, you start to find,
'Whoa! Where there didn't seem to be a way, there is a way!'
'Which way is it?' 'It's here, it's here, it's here.' [taps heart]
So, you just continue.
Don't try ... If something gets a bit hurt, you go try something else,
you try something else and enjoy.
No, no. You must have some faith!
If you don't have faith, you can pray, ask Baba,
'Babaji, please, I want to believe, I trust,
but I'm weak, please help me.' God's help comes.
Help comes. Be humble.
As you're growing, kindness is coming. Kindness is coming.
Maybe we didn't realise how unkind our behaviour is.
Selfishness is going. Empathy is coming.
Spaciousness is coming.
Heaviness is leaving.
An unexpected boon and grace is flowing,
seemingly undeserved; it's coming.
Then, things that you feel,
'But how did this come?', are coming.
When you start to feel great, something goes [sharp prod]. 'Ooh.'
That is coming also. Everything is coming. [laughter]
Are you going to give up? Like this it comes.
I have a tremendous...
I have in my heart, I found, the love for all the beings is there.
I didn't work at it.
You just stay open, you come to your natural love,
your natural state is there.
But the service to sangha,
who, if I am right about it,
are those I perceive to be on a higher journey of awakening,
then this body, this life force, is dedicated to that.
It's dedicated to that.
You will have troubles,
but you will overcome them.
And the highest, clearest power in the universe
has called you.
[silence]
And it supports your seeing.
Stop thinking of yourself as some petty little thing.
But don't think of yourself as a great thing, also.
[laughter]
Yeah.
And the one thing that will be repeated: Don't give up.
Keep looking and clarify your misunderstanding of you.
Someone says, 'But I'm doing like this'. I say, No, no, no.
Is that what I show? Come now, you do. Look ...
Come. [indicates receding to detached seeing]
Don't put this in your pocket!
Put it in your heart. And stay with it.
And increase in it.
And so your autobiography that you write in your person,
that will disappear.
Group: Thank you. M: Thank you.
M: What is happening also, is that,
I'm finding more the ones ... I just find them.
We stay together. We look.
And quickly, from here, [indicates busy mind noise]
just go down. [indicates moving from head to heart]
Do you want to come in with me? We go down. Stay.
And all this mind stuff
starts to just dry up, very naturally.
Just simple.
I told you from the beginning, It is simple,
because you don't have to create your Self.
You can create a false self.
But your true Self, you can only discover.
When you discover it, the discoverer merges in it, also.
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