If I were the devil...
If I were the Prince of Darkness
I'd want to engulf the whole world in darkness.
And I'd have a third of it's real estate and 4/5 of its population
but I wouldn't be happy until I had seized the ripest apple
on the tree, thee.
So I'd set about however necessary to take over the United States.
I'd subvert the churches first, I'd begin with a campaign of whispers.
With the wisdom of a serpent I would whisper
to you as I whispered to Eve, "Do as you please."
To the young, I would whisper that, "The Bible is a myth."
I would convince them that man created God
instead of the other way around.
I would confide that what's bad is good
and what's good is square.
And the old, I would teach to pray, after me
"Our Father, which art in Washington…"
And then I'd get organized.
I'd educate authors in how to make lurid literature exciting
so that anything else would appear dull and uninteresting.
I'd threaten TV with dirtier movies and vice versa.
I'd pedal narcotics to whom I could.
I'd sell alcohol to ladies and gentlemen of distinction.
I'd tranquilize the rest with pills.
If I were the devil I'd soon have families
that war with themselves, churches at war with themselves
and nations at war with themselves
until each in its turn was consumed.
And with promises of higher ratings
I'd have mesmerizing media fanning the flames.
If I were the devil I would encourage schools
to refine young intellects, but neglect
to discipline emotions, just let those run wild
until before you knew it
you'd have to have drug sniffing dogs
and metal detectors at every schoolhouse door.
Within a decade I'd have prisons overflowing
I'd have judges promoting pornography.
Soon I could evict God from the courthouse
then from the schoolhouse
and then from the houses of Congress.
And in His own churches I would substitute
psychology for religion and deify science.
I would lure priests and pastors
into misusing boys and girls, and church money.
If I were the devil I'd make the symbols of Easter an egg
and the symbol of Christmas a bottle.
If I were the devil I'd take from those who have
and give to those wanted until I had killed
the incentive of the ambitious.
And what'll you bet?
I could get whole states to promote gambling
as the way to get rich.
I would caution against extremes and hard work
in Patriotism, in moral conduct.
I would convince the young that marriage is old-fashioned
that swinging is more fun
that what you see on TV is the way to be.
And thus I could undress you in public
and I could lure you into bed
with diseases for which there is no cure.
In other words, if I were the devil
I'd just keep right on doing on what he's doing.
Paul Harvey.