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[This is an improvised talk (and intro)

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based on a suggested topic[br]from the audience.]

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[The speaker doesn't know[br]the content of the slides.]

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Moderator: Our next speaker

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(Laughter)

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is an incredibly experienced linguist

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working at a lab at MIT[br]with a small group of researchers,

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and through studying our language[br]and the way that we communicate

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with other people,

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he has stumbled upon[br]the secret of human intimacy.

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Here to give us his perspective,[br]please welcome to the stage,

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Anthony Veneziale.

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(Applause)

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(Laughter)

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Anthony Veneziale: You might think[br]I know what you're going through.

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You might be looking at me[br]here on the red dot,

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or you might be looking[br]at me on the screen.

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There's a one sixth of a second delay.

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Did I catch myself? I did.

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I could see myself before I turned,

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and that small delay creates[br]a little bit of a divide.

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(Laughter)

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And a divide is exactly what happens[br]with human language,

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and the processing of that language.

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I of course am working[br]out of a small lab at MIT.

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(Laughter)

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And we are scraping[br]for every insight that we can get.

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(Laughter)

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This is not often associated[br]with a computational challenge,

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but in this case, we found[br]that persistence of vision

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and auditory intake

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actually have more in common[br]than we ever realized,

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and we can see it in this first slide.

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(Laughter)

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(Applause)

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Immediately your processing goes to,[br]"Is that a hard-boiled egg?"

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(Laughter)

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"Is that perhaps the structural[br]integrity of the egg

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being able to sustain[br]the weight of what seems to be a rock?

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Aha, is it in fact a real rock?"

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We go to questions when we see[br]visual information.

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But when we hear information,[br]this is what happens.

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(Laughter)

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The floodgates in our mind[br]open much like the streets of Shanghai.

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(Applause)

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So many pieces of information to process,

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so many ideas, concepts, feelings,[br]and, of course, vulnerabilities

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that we don't often wish to share.

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And so we hide,

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and we hide behind what we like to call[br]the floodgate of intimacy.

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And what might that floodgate be holding?

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What is the dike upon which it is built?

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Well, first off

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(Laughter)

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we found that it's different[br]for six different genotypes.

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(Applause)

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And, of course, we can start[br]categorizing these genotypes

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into a neuronormative experience[br]and a neurodiverse experience.

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(Laughter)

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On the right-hand side of the screen,

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you're seeing spikes[br]for the neurodiverse thinking.

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Now, there are generally only[br]two emotional states

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that a neurodiverse brain can tabulate[br]and keep count of at any given time,

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thereby eliminating the possibility[br]for them to be emotionally, sometimes,

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attuned to the present situation.

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But on the lefthand side, you can see[br]the neuronormative brain,

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which can often handle[br]about five different pieces

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of emotional cognitive information[br]at any given time.

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These are the slight variances[br]that you are seeing

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in the 75, 90, and 60 percentile,

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and then of course[br]that dramatic difference

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of the 25, 40, and 35 percentile.

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(Laughter)

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But of course, what is the neural network

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that is helping to bridge and build[br]these different discrepancies?

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(Laughter)

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Fear.

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(Laughter) (Applause)

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And as we all know, fear[br]resides in the amygdala,

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and it is a very natural response,

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and it is very closely linked[br]with visual perception.

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It is not as closely linked[br]with verbal perception,

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so our fear receptors[br]often will be going off

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in advance of any of our cognitive usage[br]around verbal and words

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and cues of language.

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So as we see these fear moments,

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we of course are taken aback.

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We stumble in a certain direction,

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generally away from the intimacy.

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(Laughter)

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Now of course, there's a difference[br]between the male perception

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and the female perception

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and of trans and those who are in between,[br]all of those as well,

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and outside of the gender spectrum,

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but fear is the central[br]underlying underpinning

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of all of our response systems.

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Fight-or-flight is one of the earliest,

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some say reptilian,[br]response to our environment.

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How can we disengage or unhook ourselves[br]from the horns of the amygdala?

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(Laughter)

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Well, I'd like to tell you[br]the secret right now.

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(Applause)

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This is all making much,[br]much too much sense.

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The secret lies

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in turning our backs to one another,

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and I know that that sounds[br]absolutely like the opposite

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of what you were expecting,

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but when in your relationship[br]you turn your back to your partner

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and place your back upon their back,

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you eliminate visual cues.

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(Laughter)

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You are more readily available

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to failing first,

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and failing first

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far outweighs the lengths we go to

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to appeal to others,

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to our partners, and to ourselves.

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We spend billions and billions of dollars

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on clothing, on makeup,

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on the latest trend of glasses,

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but what we don't spend[br]money and time on

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is connecting with each other

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in a way that is truthful

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and honest

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and stripped of those visual receptors.

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(Applause)

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(Laughter)

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It sounds hard, doesn't it.

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(Laughter)

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But we want to be aggressive about this.

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We don't want to just sit on the couch.

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As a historian said earlier today,

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it's important to get up[br]and circumvent sometimes that couch.

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And how can we do it?

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Well yes, ice is a big part of it.

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Insights, compassion, and empathy:

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I, C, E.

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(Applause)

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And when we start using this ice method,

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well, the possibilities become[br]much bigger than us.

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In fact, they become smaller than you.

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On a molecular level,

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I believe that that insight

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is the unifying theme

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for every talk you have seen so far at TED

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and will continue as we of course embark

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on this journey here on this tiny planet,

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on the ledge, on the precipice,

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as we are seeing, yes,[br]death is inevitable.

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Will it meet all of us at the same time

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I think is the variable we are inquiring.

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(Laughter)

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I think that timeline gets a bit longer

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when we use ice

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and when we rest our backs[br]upon one another

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and build together,

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leaving behind the fear

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and working towards

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(Laughter)

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-- they'll edit this part out --

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a ripened experience of love,

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compassion,

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intimacy based on a truth

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that you are sharing from your mind's eye

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and the heart that we all can touch,

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tactilely feel,

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have maybe potentially a mushy experience

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that we don't just throw out[br]because it is browned,

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but let us slice in half[br]the experience we have gathered,

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let us seed what the heart, the core,

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the seed of that idea in each of us is,

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and let us share it back to back.

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Thank you very much.

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(Applause)