[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:03.16,0:00:07.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Kevin, you're alive. I don't believe it. \NOh my god. It's a miracle.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:07.70,0:00:11.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, I guess you replaced real butter\Nas the star of the dinner.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.03,0:00:12.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I don't understand.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.33,0:00:14.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The army said \Nyou'd been killed in action.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.66,0:00:18.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- What happened? \N- Well, it's quite a story.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.64,0:00:21.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In some ways, army life in Iraq is what you'd expect.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.77,0:00:25.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What with the blistering heat, the constant sense of impending danger,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.23,0:00:28.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the one gay soldier awkwardly avoiding the use of pronouns?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.64,0:00:31.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Man, I sure missed my sweetheart back home.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.02,0:00:35.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can't wait to get back to that person. \NChow time, boys. Yes, sir.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.20,0:00:37.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sergeant major general captain.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.45,0:00:42.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ah, come on, boys. It's thanksgiving. Call me major general captain now you eat up
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.36,0:00:45.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't trust that turkey those iraqis made
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.00,0:00:46.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ah
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.32,0:00:51.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're all wet swanson. I call the white meat. I call the dark meat. I call the cell phone duct tape to the side. No
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.08,0:01:00.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're all dead sir, except for swanson he's in a coma but he's unlikely to recover, okay
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.88,0:01:05.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well just send swanson's parents a letter saying that he's dead cause those are already printed
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.36,0:01:10.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know what send one to my parents too. I spent five years in a kuwait military hospital
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.40,0:01:15.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I woke up from the coma last week and I flew straight here kind of a thanksgiving surprise
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.44,0:01:18.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hey when you get sexually abused while you're in a coma
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.48,0:01:22.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you know it's happening and just can't do anything about it, or do you not even know what's going on?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.96,0:01:24.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I also am curious about that. Hey
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.88,0:01:25.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kevin
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.20,0:01:30.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, I put a yellow ribbon on my car for you guys and a little thing that says I support the troops
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.48,0:01:32.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cause there's nothing I wouldn't do for you guys
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.20,0:01:37.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I don't have any change on me right now. Well, all that matters is that my boy is home
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.00,0:01:44.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Kevin, I want you to meet your little sister susie. Wow. Hey little sis. I guess we got some catching up to do, huh?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.12,0:01:49.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hope you don't get scared when I scream and have night terrors. It's quite all right. I've seen worse
Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.48,0:01:55.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a human centipede of ghastly
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.16,0:02:01.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Your mother and I are very proud of you. Kevin. You're a war hero. I don't feel like a war hero
Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.44,0:02:06.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Only a war hero would say that. Hey, so what about the female soldiers over there? Were they able to contribute?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.12,0:02:12.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, you know they did their best what with their regular bleedings when they got shot. Did they even know look guys?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.64,0:02:12.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i'm
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.72,0:02:15.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not a hero, and I don't want to be treated any different than before
Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.00,0:02:20.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just that you would say that means we should treat you different. Come on guys. Let's give them all our best food
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.32,0:02:27.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, now you eat up and then we're all gonna go out back and play some thanksgiving touch football, excuse me
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.08,0:02:30.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,War hero thanksgiving touch football
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.80,0:02:39.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah usa I didn't even know there was a war
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.04,0:02:55.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You