1 00:00:01,235 --> 00:00:02,069 -I remember the other sketch 2 00:00:02,069 --> 00:00:03,804 that a lot of people bring up is 3 00:00:03,804 --> 00:00:05,372 when you and Rachel Dratch do "The Lovahs." 4 00:00:05,372 --> 00:00:07,040 -Oh, "The Lovers," yes. -The lovers in the hot tub. 5 00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:08,675 -Yeah, yeah, yeah. [ Cheers ] 6 00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:11,011 Professor Klarvin, I believe. Yes. 7 00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:13,413 -It was a bizarre sketch. I think it started 8 00:00:13,413 --> 00:00:16,015 with just me as -- I always go to a different hotel. 9 00:00:16,015 --> 00:00:17,484 -Uh-huh. -And I would end up 10 00:00:17,484 --> 00:00:18,785 in a hot tub, like, kind of enjoying, like, 11 00:00:18,785 --> 00:00:20,053 "There's no one in the hot tub. This is fun." 12 00:00:20,053 --> 00:00:21,688 And then two of the creepiest humans... 13 00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:22,756 -Yeah. [ Laughter ] 14 00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:24,324 -...came and got in the hot tub with me. 15 00:00:24,324 --> 00:00:25,959 -With you and Drew Barrymore. -Oh, yeah. 16 00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:27,961 -And I think -- 17 00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:29,830 I thought I was sitting next to you, but I'm not. 18 00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:32,566 I'm sitting across from you. But I just remember trying 19 00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:36,303 to get my foot in your crotch during the sketch. 20 00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:37,404 [ Laughter ] 21 00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:42,643 -Excuse me? 22 00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:45,112 E-Excuse me. -What? 23 00:00:45,112 --> 00:00:46,914 What? Y-Yes? 24 00:00:46,914 --> 00:00:49,249 -We were wondering, 25 00:00:49,249 --> 00:00:53,120 is this your first time at the Welshly Arms Hotel? 26 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:55,322 -Uh, yeah. 27 00:00:55,322 --> 00:00:59,526 -Mm. And are you here without a lov-ah? 28 00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:02,763 -Well, I am by myself. 29 00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:04,631 I'm just staying here on business. 30 00:01:04,631 --> 00:01:07,668 -Hmm. -We frequent the Welshly Arms. 31 00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:08,902 -Yes. 32 00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:13,273 -We find it a perfect quick lov-ah's getaway. 33 00:01:13,273 --> 00:01:14,508 -Yes. 34 00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:16,343 Oh, oh. Oh, forgive me. 35 00:01:16,343 --> 00:01:20,714 We are professors Roger and Virginia Klarvin. 36 00:01:21,348 --> 00:01:22,683 -And your name? 37 00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:24,585 -Uh, Dave. 38 00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:25,719 -Ah! -Ah! 39 00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:27,454 -Hmm! 40 00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:30,157 -Dave, may I share something with you? 41 00:01:30,157 --> 00:01:31,892 -I guess. I'm really just trying to-- 42 00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:36,430 -I find when one first enters the scalding waters 43 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:39,233 of the hot tub, 44 00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:41,635 it is not unlike your first encounter 45 00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:42,703 with a new lov-ah. 46 00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:43,971 -Mm! 47 00:01:43,971 --> 00:01:47,140 I remember the first time Roger and I made love. 48 00:01:47,140 --> 00:01:48,842 -Yes. -Yes. 49 00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:52,212 We had pulled over after a long Sunday drive. 50 00:01:52,212 --> 00:01:54,348 Roger led me to a clearing, 51 00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:58,886 laid me down upon a bed of fresh meadow grasses. 52 00:01:58,886 --> 00:02:01,522 He then rubbed my nubile body 53 00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:05,125 with fruit liniments and Noxzema. 54 00:02:06,260 --> 00:02:11,431 Then he artfully covered my back with melted butter and cloves. 55 00:02:11,431 --> 00:02:15,636 And until the flies and ants came, 56 00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:18,405 methinks it was the finest lovemaking 57 00:02:18,405 --> 00:02:19,673 the world had ever known. 58 00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:21,909 -Yes. -Hmm. 59 00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:23,544 -Are you listening, Dave? 60 00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:26,013 -Yeah. I'm just tired, that's all. 61 00:02:26,013 --> 00:02:29,082 -Ah! -Ah! 62 00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:33,287 -Is that the professors Virginia and Roger Klarvin? 63 00:02:33,287 --> 00:02:36,256 -Oh, what a surprise! -Oh, what a surprise! 64 00:02:36,256 --> 00:02:38,959 It's our dear friend Barbara Hernandez. 65 00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:41,428 -Yes. -Hmm! 66 00:02:41,428 --> 00:02:45,966 -Barbara, what brings you to the prestigious Welshly Arms? 67 00:02:45,966 --> 00:02:51,471 -The usual -- quiet strolls, family-style dining, archery. 68 00:02:51,471 --> 00:02:55,309 -Well, please, join us in the hot tub. 69 00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:57,845 -Thank you, Roger. -Yes. It's very refreshing. 70 00:02:57,845 --> 00:03:00,647 -It simply is divine. -Yes. 71 00:03:00,647 --> 00:03:03,383 Barbara, dare I ask? 72 00:03:03,383 --> 00:03:06,320 Are you no longer with your lov-ah, Mitchell? 73 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,689 -Well, as you know, Mitchell was 74 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,791 the most skillful and creative lov-ah. 75 00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:12,759 -Oh, yes! -Oh, yes! 76 00:03:12,759 --> 00:03:15,195 -However, his love for me was exceeded 77 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:19,399 by his love for sweet wine and dog racing. 78 00:03:19,399 --> 00:03:23,303 So now I can turn my attention fully to my first love... 79 00:03:23,303 --> 00:03:25,205 archery. 80 00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:30,344 -Dave...Dave...Dave... 81 00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:33,814 David. -[ Laughing ] Yes? 82 00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:35,549 -David. -Right. 83 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,351 -Our dear friend, 84 00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:42,422 Barbara Hernandez, is the top female archer 85 00:03:42,422 --> 00:03:44,224 in the Northeast Division. 86 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:47,427 -That's unbelievable. 87 00:03:49,029 --> 00:03:50,764 -Does anyone care for spiced lamb shanks? 88 00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:52,266 -Come on. -Oh! 89 00:03:52,266 --> 00:03:53,267 -What is -- what is that? 90 00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:55,836 -Well, at this point during the soak, 91 00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:59,473 my lov-ah and I usually crave spiced meats. 92 00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:05,646 [ Laughing ] We always... 93 00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:15,022 We always order them up special from the Welshly Arms kitchen 94 00:04:15,022 --> 00:04:17,391 and keep them here in this Igloo cooler. 95 00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:21,728 -The Welshly Arms is renowned for its shanks. 96 00:04:21,728 --> 00:04:25,132 -Yeah, wonderful shanks. -I'm good, I'm good, actually. 97 00:04:25,132 --> 00:04:29,036 -Alright. You're missing out on some good shanks. 98 00:04:29,036 --> 00:04:35,075 -We should mention that although the waters above appear calm, 99 00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:39,179 below the surface, there is a frenzy of activity. 100 00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:49,790 Hands groping, fingers fluttering, 101 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:54,161 thighs twitching in the anticipation of lovemaking 102 00:04:54,161 --> 00:05:00,968 that will take place in this hot tub in less than 12 minutes. 103 00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:03,837 -I'm getting kind of pruney. I'm out. 104 00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:05,072 -Wait, wait, wait. -Wait, Dave, Dave. 105 00:05:05,072 --> 00:05:08,742 -Barbara, you are sans lov-ah. 106 00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:11,845 Dave, you a weary business traveler. 107 00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:15,916 Perhaps Cupid's aim is as sharp as that of Barbara Hernandez. 108 00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:17,417 -Perhaps. 109 00:05:17,417 --> 00:05:19,119 -I-I-I don't know. I think I'll just-- 110 00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:24,124 -David, don't be alarmed by the professors Klarvin. 111 00:05:24,124 --> 00:05:26,593 I remember myself when I first met 112 00:05:26,593 --> 00:05:29,396 Rog and Virg at the university. 113 00:05:29,396 --> 00:05:32,132 We were taking a camping trip to the Grand Canyon. 114 00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:33,233 -Yes. 115 00:05:33,233 --> 00:05:35,669 -After a supper of jackrabbit haunches, 116 00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:37,871 we laid out beneath the stars. 117 00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:40,607 -Somewhere in the distance, 118 00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:44,244 we heard the pounding of native drums. 119 00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:55,122 Was it... [ Laughter ] 120 00:05:55,122 --> 00:05:57,224 Was it in our minds? 121 00:05:57,224 --> 00:05:58,926 We don't know. 122 00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:01,828 [ Cheers and applause ] 123 00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:10,671 -That night, the great eagle spirit himself 124 00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:15,108 appeared at our tent and beckoned us to make love. 125 00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:20,080 We submitted to its ravenous desires 126 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:25,185 as the three of us became one with the great eagle spirit. 127 00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:30,123 -Turns out the great eagle spirit 128 00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:36,296 was actually a fugitive trucker by the name of Rich Crenshaw. 129 00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:41,134 -Maybe I'm just, uh, road-weary, but, uh... 130 00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:43,704 that's a pretty beautiful story. 131 00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:45,506 -Lov-ah. 132 00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:49,710 Would you care to see my bed adorned with hibiscus petals 133 00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:55,249 and my photo of me and Geena Davis? 134 00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:57,551 -Geena Davis? That sounds nice. 135 00:06:57,551 --> 00:07:01,088 -Goodbye, Dave. -Bye, lov-ahs. 136 00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:03,156 Oh! -Bye. 137 00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:07,861 -You know... 138 00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:11,398 -Nothing pleases me more than 139 00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:15,903 seeing two new lovers take off in the night mist. 140 00:07:15,903 --> 00:07:17,471 -Yes, lover, I think there's 141 00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:20,274 only one reward for the job we've done. 142 00:07:20,274 --> 00:07:23,577 -Let the screams of our lovemaking reverberate off 143 00:07:23,577 --> 00:07:25,846 the roof of the Welshly Arms... 144 00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:28,682 -Oh, lov-ah. -...and into the night sky. 145 00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:30,117 -Oh, lov-ah. 146 00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:32,452 -Ow! Ow, my back! 147 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,888 -What? -My -- my back. 148 00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:36,290 -Is it your back? What? 149 00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:37,824 I thought the water might help with your -- 150 00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:41,461 -Well, it doesn't help! Get the hell off me! 151 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,463 [ Cheers and applause ] 152 00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,500 -Right before I said my line... -Yeah, exactly. 153 00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:47,968 -...you'd give me a little, like, squeeze on the kneecap... 154 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,036 -Yeah, yeah. -...or something like... 155 00:07:49,036 --> 00:07:50,771 -Which was -- I'm just in character. 156 00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:54,007 [ Laughter ] Buh, uh... 157 00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:55,309 -But I mean, I always remember just crying. 158 00:07:55,309 --> 00:07:58,111 -But it added to the hijinks. -Crying laughing, dude. 159 00:07:58,111 --> 00:07:59,980 'Cause we didn't do it at dress. There was so many things 160 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:03,183 that, like -- I would just -- Gosh, I got in so much trouble. 161 00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:05,219 I mean, Lorne didn't like it. -No. 162 00:08:05,219 --> 00:08:06,620 -No. -But I love -- 163 00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:08,755 -The writers didn't like it. -I love trying to get you there.