[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:01.24,0:00:02.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-I remember the other sketch
Dialogue: 0,0:00:02.07,0:00:03.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that a lot of people bring up is
Dialogue: 0,0:00:03.80,0:00:05.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when you and Rachel Dratch\Ndo "The Lovahs."
Dialogue: 0,0:00:05.37,0:00:07.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Oh, "The Lovers," yes.\N-The lovers in the hot tub.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:07.04,0:00:08.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Yeah, yeah, yeah.\N[ Cheers ]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.68,0:00:11.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Professor Klarvin, I believe.\NYes.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.01,0:00:13.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-It was a bizarre sketch.\NI think it started
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.41,0:00:16.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with just me as -- I always\Ngo to a different hotel.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:16.02,0:00:17.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Uh-huh.\N-And I would end up
Dialogue: 0,0:00:17.48,0:00:18.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in a hot tub, like,\Nkind of enjoying, like,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.78,0:00:20.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"There's no one in the hot tub.\NThis is fun."
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.05,0:00:21.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then two of\Nthe creepiest humans...
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.69,0:00:22.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Yeah.\N[ Laughter ]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.76,0:00:24.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-...came and got\Nin the hot tub with me.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:24.32,0:00:25.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-With you and Drew Barrymore.\N-Oh, yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.96,0:00:27.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-And I think --
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.96,0:00:29.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I thought I was sitting\Nnext to you, but I'm not.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.83,0:00:32.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm sitting across from you.\NBut I just remember trying
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.57,0:00:36.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to get my foot in your crotch\Nduring the sketch.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.30,0:00:37.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[ Laughter ]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.91,0:00:42.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Excuse me?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.64,0:00:45.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,E-Excuse me.\N-What?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.11,0:00:46.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What? Y-Yes?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.91,0:00:49.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-We were wondering,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.25,0:00:53.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is this your first time at\Nthe Welshly Arms Hotel?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.12,0:00:55.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Uh, yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.32,0:00:59.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Mm. And are you here\Nwithout a lov-ah?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.60,0:01:02.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Well, I am by myself.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.76,0:01:04.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm just staying here\Non business.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.63,0:01:07.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Hmm.\N-We frequent the Welshly Arms.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:07.67,0:01:08.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Yes.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.90,0:01:13.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-We find it a perfect quick\Nlov-ah's getaway.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.27,0:01:14.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Yes.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.51,0:01:16.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, oh.\NOh, forgive me.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.34,0:01:20.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We are professors\NRoger and Virginia Klarvin.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:21.35,0:01:22.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-And your name?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.68,0:01:24.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Uh, Dave.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.58,0:01:25.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Ah!\N-Ah!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.72,0:01:27.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Hmm!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.45,0:01:30.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Dave, may I share\Nsomething with you?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.16,0:01:31.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-I guess.\NI'm really just trying to--
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.89,0:01:36.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-I find when one first enters\Nthe scalding waters
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.43,0:01:39.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of the hot tub,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.23,0:01:41.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it is not unlike\Nyour first encounter
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.64,0:01:42.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with a new lov-ah.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.70,0:01:43.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Mm!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.97,0:01:47.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I remember the first time\NRoger and I made love.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.14,0:01:48.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Yes.\N-Yes.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.84,0:01:52.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We had pulled over\Nafter a long Sunday drive.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.21,0:01:54.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Roger led me to a clearing,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.35,0:01:58.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,laid me down upon\Na bed of fresh meadow grasses.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.89,0:02:01.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He then rubbed my nubile body
Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.52,0:02:05.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with fruit liniments\Nand Noxzema.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.26,0:02:11.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then he artfully covered my back\Nwith melted butter and cloves.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:11.43,0:02:15.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And until\Nthe flies and ants came,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.64,0:02:18.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,methinks it was\Nthe finest lovemaking
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.40,0:02:19.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the world had ever known.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.67,0:02:21.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Yes.\N-Hmm.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.91,0:02:23.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Are you listening, Dave?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.54,0:02:26.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Yeah.\NI'm just tired, that's all.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.01,0:02:29.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Ah!\N-Ah!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.08,0:02:33.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Is that the professors\NVirginia and Roger Klarvin?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.29,0:02:36.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Oh, what a surprise!\N-Oh, what a surprise!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.26,0:02:38.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's our dear friend\NBarbara Hernandez.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:38.96,0:02:41.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Yes.\N-Hmm!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.43,0:02:45.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Barbara, what brings you to\Nthe prestigious Welshly Arms?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.97,0:02:51.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-The usual -- quiet strolls,\Nfamily-style dining, archery.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.47,0:02:55.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Well, please,\Njoin us in the hot tub.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.31,0:02:57.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Thank you, Roger.\N-Yes. It's very refreshing.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.84,0:03:00.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-It simply is divine.\N-Yes.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.65,0:03:03.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Barbara, dare I ask?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:03.38,0:03:06.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Are you no longer with your\Nlov-ah, Mitchell?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.32,0:03:08.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Well, as you know, Mitchell was
Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.69,0:03:10.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the most skillful\Nand creative lov-ah.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.79,0:03:12.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Oh, yes!\N-Oh, yes!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:12.76,0:03:15.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-However,\Nhis love for me was exceeded
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.20,0:03:19.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by his love for\Nsweet wine and dog racing.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.40,0:03:23.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So now I can turn my attention\Nfully to my first love...
Dialogue: 0,0:03:23.30,0:03:25.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,archery.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.20,0:03:30.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Dave...Dave...Dave...
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.34,0:03:33.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,David.\N-[ Laughing ] Yes?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.81,0:03:35.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-David.\N-Right.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.55,0:03:37.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Our dear friend,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.35,0:03:42.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Barbara Hernandez,\Nis the top female archer
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.42,0:03:44.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the Northeast Division.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.22,0:03:47.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-That's unbelievable.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.03,0:03:50.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Does anyone care for\Nspiced lamb shanks?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.76,0:03:52.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Come on.\N-Oh!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:52.27,0:03:53.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-What is -- what is that?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:53.27,0:03:55.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Well, at this point\Nduring the soak,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:55.84,0:03:59.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my lov-ah and I\Nusually crave spiced meats.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.74,0:04:05.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[ Laughing ] We always...
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.55,0:04:15.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We always order them up special\Nfrom the Welshly Arms kitchen
Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.02,0:04:17.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and keep them here\Nin this Igloo cooler.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:17.39,0:04:21.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-The Welshly Arms\Nis renowned for its shanks.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.73,0:04:25.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Yeah, wonderful shanks.\N-I'm good, I'm good, actually.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:25.13,0:04:29.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Alright. You're missing out on\Nsome good shanks.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:29.04,0:04:35.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-We should mention that although\Nthe waters above appear calm,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:35.08,0:04:39.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,below the surface,\Nthere is a frenzy of activity.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:45.79,0:04:49.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hands groping,\Nfingers fluttering,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:49.79,0:04:54.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,thighs twitching in\Nthe anticipation of lovemaking
Dialogue: 0,0:04:54.16,0:05:00.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that will take place in this\Nhot tub in less than 12 minutes.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:00.97,0:05:03.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-I'm getting kind of pruney.\NI'm out.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:03.84,0:05:05.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Wait, wait, wait.\N-Wait, Dave, Dave.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:05.07,0:05:08.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Barbara, you are sans lov-ah.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:08.74,0:05:11.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Dave, you a\Nweary business traveler.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.84,0:05:15.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Perhaps Cupid's aim is as sharp\Nas that of Barbara Hernandez.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:15.92,0:05:17.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Perhaps.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:17.42,0:05:19.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-I-I-I don't know.\NI think I'll just--
Dialogue: 0,0:05:19.12,0:05:24.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-David, don't be alarmed by\Nthe professors Klarvin.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.12,0:05:26.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I remember myself\Nwhen I first met
Dialogue: 0,0:05:26.59,0:05:29.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Rog and Virg at the university.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:29.40,0:05:32.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We were taking a camping trip\Nto the Grand Canyon.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:32.13,0:05:33.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Yes.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:33.23,0:05:35.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-After a supper of\Njackrabbit haunches,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:35.67,0:05:37.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we laid out beneath the stars.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.87,0:05:40.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Somewhere in the distance,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.61,0:05:44.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we heard the pounding of\Nnative drums.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:52.55,0:05:55.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Was it...\N[ Laughter ]
Dialogue: 0,0:05:55.12,0:05:57.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Was it in our minds?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:57.22,0:05:58.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We don't know.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:58.93,0:06:01.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[ Cheers and applause ]
Dialogue: 0,0:06:07.77,0:06:10.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-That night,\Nthe great eagle spirit himself
Dialogue: 0,0:06:10.67,0:06:15.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,appeared at our tent and\Nbeckoned us to make love.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:15.11,0:06:20.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We submitted to its\Nravenous desires
Dialogue: 0,0:06:20.08,0:06:25.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as the three of us became\None with the great eagle spirit.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:25.18,0:06:30.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Turns out\Nthe great eagle spirit
Dialogue: 0,0:06:30.12,0:06:36.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was actually a fugitive trucker\Nby the name of Rich Crenshaw.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:36.30,0:06:41.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Maybe I'm just, uh,\Nroad-weary, but, uh...
Dialogue: 0,0:06:41.13,0:06:43.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's a pretty beautiful story.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:43.70,0:06:45.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Lov-ah.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:45.51,0:06:49.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Would you care to see my bed\Nadorned with hibiscus petals
Dialogue: 0,0:06:49.71,0:06:55.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and my photo of\Nme and Geena Davis?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:55.25,0:06:57.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Geena Davis? That sounds nice.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:57.55,0:07:01.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Goodbye, Dave.\N-Bye, lov-ahs.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:01.09,0:07:03.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh!\N-Bye.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:06.06,0:07:07.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-You know...
Dialogue: 0,0:07:09.40,0:07:11.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Nothing pleases me more than
Dialogue: 0,0:07:11.40,0:07:15.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,seeing two new lovers\Ntake off in the night mist.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:15.90,0:07:17.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Yes, lover, I think there's
Dialogue: 0,0:07:17.47,0:07:20.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,only one reward\Nfor the job we've done.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:20.27,0:07:23.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Let the screams of our\Nlovemaking reverberate off
Dialogue: 0,0:07:23.58,0:07:25.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the roof of the Welshly Arms...
Dialogue: 0,0:07:25.85,0:07:28.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Oh, lov-ah.\N-...and into the night sky.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:28.68,0:07:30.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Oh, lov-ah.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:30.12,0:07:32.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Ow! Ow, my back!
Dialogue: 0,0:07:32.45,0:07:34.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-What?\N-My -- my back.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:34.89,0:07:36.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Is it your back? What?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:36.29,0:07:37.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I thought the\Nwater might help with your --
Dialogue: 0,0:07:37.82,0:07:41.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Well, it doesn't help!\NGet the hell off me!
Dialogue: 0,0:07:41.46,0:07:43.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[ Cheers and applause ]
Dialogue: 0,0:07:44.46,0:07:46.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Right before I said my line...\N-Yeah, exactly.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:46.50,0:07:47.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-...you'd give me a little,\Nlike, squeeze on the kneecap...
Dialogue: 0,0:07:47.97,0:07:49.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Yeah, yeah.\N-...or something like...
Dialogue: 0,0:07:49.04,0:07:50.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-Which was --\NI'm just in character.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:50.77,0:07:54.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[ Laughter ]\NBuh, uh...
Dialogue: 0,0:07:54.01,0:07:55.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-But I mean,\NI always remember just crying.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:55.31,0:07:58.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-But it added to the hijinks.\N-Crying laughing, dude.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:58.11,0:07:59.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Cause we didn't do it at dress.\NThere was so many things
Dialogue: 0,0:07:59.98,0:08:03.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that, like -- I would just --\NGosh, I got in so much trouble.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:03.18,0:08:05.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, Lorne didn't like it.\N-No.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:05.22,0:08:06.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-No.\N-But I love --
Dialogue: 0,0:08:06.62,0:08:08.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-The writers didn't like it.\N-I love trying to get you there.