WEBVTT 00:00:01.235 --> 00:00:02.069 -I remember the other sketch 00:00:02.069 --> 00:00:03.804 that a lot of people bring up is 00:00:03.804 --> 00:00:05.372 when you and Rachel Dratch do "The Lovahs." 00:00:05.372 --> 00:00:07.040 -Oh, "The Lovers," yes. -The lovers in the hot tub. 00:00:07.040 --> 00:00:08.675 -Yeah, yeah, yeah. [ Cheers ] 00:00:08.675 --> 00:00:11.011 Professor Klarvin, I believe. Yes. 00:00:11.011 --> 00:00:13.413 -It was a bizarre sketch. I think it started 00:00:13.413 --> 00:00:16.015 with just me as -- I always go to a different hotel. 00:00:16.015 --> 00:00:17.484 -Uh-huh. -And I would end up 00:00:17.484 --> 00:00:18.785 in a hot tub, like, kind of enjoying, like, 00:00:18.785 --> 00:00:20.053 "There's no one in the hot tub. This is fun." 00:00:20.053 --> 00:00:21.688 And then two of the creepiest humans... 00:00:21.688 --> 00:00:22.756 -Yeah. [ Laughter ] 00:00:22.756 --> 00:00:24.324 -...came and got in the hot tub with me. 00:00:24.324 --> 00:00:25.959 -With you and Drew Barrymore. -Oh, yeah. 00:00:25.959 --> 00:00:27.961 -And I think -- 00:00:27.961 --> 00:00:29.830 I thought I was sitting next to you, but I'm not. 00:00:29.830 --> 00:00:32.566 I'm sitting across from you. But I just remember trying 00:00:32.566 --> 00:00:36.303 to get my foot in your crotch during the sketch. 00:00:36.303 --> 00:00:37.404 [ Laughter ] 00:00:40.908 --> 00:00:42.643 -Excuse me? 00:00:42.643 --> 00:00:45.112 E-Excuse me. -What? 00:00:45.112 --> 00:00:46.914 What? Y-Yes? 00:00:46.914 --> 00:00:49.249 -We were wondering, 00:00:49.249 --> 00:00:53.120 is this your first time at the Welshly Arms Hotel? 00:00:53.120 --> 00:00:55.322 -Uh, yeah. 00:00:55.322 --> 00:00:59.526 -Mm. And are you here without a lov-ah? 00:01:01.595 --> 00:01:02.763 -Well, I am by myself. 00:01:02.763 --> 00:01:04.631 I'm just staying here on business. 00:01:04.631 --> 00:01:07.668 -Hmm. -We frequent the Welshly Arms. 00:01:07.668 --> 00:01:08.902 -Yes. 00:01:08.902 --> 00:01:13.273 -We find it a perfect quick lov-ah's getaway. 00:01:13.273 --> 00:01:14.508 -Yes. 00:01:14.508 --> 00:01:16.343 Oh, oh. Oh, forgive me. 00:01:16.343 --> 00:01:20.714 We are professors Roger and Virginia Klarvin. 00:01:21.348 --> 00:01:22.683 -And your name? 00:01:22.683 --> 00:01:24.585 -Uh, Dave. 00:01:24.585 --> 00:01:25.719 -Ah! -Ah! 00:01:25.719 --> 00:01:27.454 -Hmm! 00:01:27.454 --> 00:01:30.157 -Dave, may I share something with you? 00:01:30.157 --> 00:01:31.892 -I guess. I'm really just trying to-- 00:01:31.892 --> 00:01:36.430 -I find when one first enters the scalding waters 00:01:36.430 --> 00:01:39.233 of the hot tub, 00:01:39.233 --> 00:01:41.635 it is not unlike your first encounter 00:01:41.635 --> 00:01:42.703 with a new lov-ah. 00:01:42.703 --> 00:01:43.971 -Mm! 00:01:43.971 --> 00:01:47.140 I remember the first time Roger and I made love. 00:01:47.140 --> 00:01:48.842 -Yes. -Yes. 00:01:48.842 --> 00:01:52.212 We had pulled over after a long Sunday drive. 00:01:52.212 --> 00:01:54.348 Roger led me to a clearing, 00:01:54.348 --> 00:01:58.886 laid me down upon a bed of fresh meadow grasses. 00:01:58.886 --> 00:02:01.522 He then rubbed my nubile body 00:02:01.522 --> 00:02:05.125 with fruit liniments and Noxzema. 00:02:06.260 --> 00:02:11.431 Then he artfully covered my back with melted butter and cloves. 00:02:11.431 --> 00:02:15.636 And until the flies and ants came, 00:02:15.636 --> 00:02:18.405 methinks it was the finest lovemaking 00:02:18.405 --> 00:02:19.673 the world had ever known. 00:02:19.673 --> 00:02:21.909 -Yes. -Hmm. 00:02:21.909 --> 00:02:23.544 -Are you listening, Dave? 00:02:23.544 --> 00:02:26.013 -Yeah. I'm just tired, that's all. 00:02:26.013 --> 00:02:29.082 -Ah! -Ah! 00:02:29.082 --> 00:02:33.287 -Is that the professors Virginia and Roger Klarvin? 00:02:33.287 --> 00:02:36.256 -Oh, what a surprise! -Oh, what a surprise! 00:02:36.256 --> 00:02:38.959 It's our dear friend Barbara Hernandez. 00:02:38.959 --> 00:02:41.428 -Yes. -Hmm! 00:02:41.428 --> 00:02:45.966 -Barbara, what brings you to the prestigious Welshly Arms? 00:02:45.966 --> 00:02:51.471 -The usual -- quiet strolls, family-style dining, archery. 00:02:51.471 --> 00:02:55.309 -Well, please, join us in the hot tub. 00:02:55.309 --> 00:02:57.845 -Thank you, Roger. -Yes. It's very refreshing. 00:02:57.845 --> 00:03:00.647 -It simply is divine. -Yes. 00:03:00.647 --> 00:03:03.383 Barbara, dare I ask? 00:03:03.383 --> 00:03:06.320 Are you no longer with your lov-ah, Mitchell? 00:03:06.320 --> 00:03:08.689 -Well, as you know, Mitchell was 00:03:08.689 --> 00:03:10.791 the most skillful and creative lov-ah. 00:03:10.791 --> 00:03:12.759 -Oh, yes! -Oh, yes! 00:03:12.759 --> 00:03:15.195 -However, his love for me was exceeded 00:03:15.195 --> 00:03:19.399 by his love for sweet wine and dog racing. 00:03:19.399 --> 00:03:23.303 So now I can turn my attention fully to my first love... 00:03:23.303 --> 00:03:25.205 archery. 00:03:25.205 --> 00:03:30.344 -Dave...Dave...Dave... 00:03:30.344 --> 00:03:33.814 David. -[ Laughing ] Yes? 00:03:33.814 --> 00:03:35.549 -David. -Right. 00:03:35.549 --> 00:03:37.351 -Our dear friend, 00:03:37.351 --> 00:03:42.422 Barbara Hernandez, is the top female archer 00:03:42.422 --> 00:03:44.224 in the Northeast Division. 00:03:44.224 --> 00:03:47.427 -That's unbelievable. 00:03:49.029 --> 00:03:50.764 -Does anyone care for spiced lamb shanks? 00:03:50.764 --> 00:03:52.266 -Come on. -Oh! 00:03:52.266 --> 00:03:53.267 -What is -- what is that? 00:03:53.267 --> 00:03:55.836 -Well, at this point during the soak, 00:03:55.836 --> 00:03:59.473 my lov-ah and I usually crave spiced meats. 00:04:03.744 --> 00:04:05.646 [ Laughing ] We always... 00:04:09.550 --> 00:04:15.022 We always order them up special from the Welshly Arms kitchen 00:04:15.022 --> 00:04:17.391 and keep them here in this Igloo cooler. 00:04:17.391 --> 00:04:21.728 -The Welshly Arms is renowned for its shanks. 00:04:21.728 --> 00:04:25.132 -Yeah, wonderful shanks. -I'm good, I'm good, actually. 00:04:25.132 --> 00:04:29.036 -Alright. You're missing out on some good shanks. 00:04:29.036 --> 00:04:35.075 -We should mention that although the waters above appear calm, 00:04:35.075 --> 00:04:39.179 below the surface, there is a frenzy of activity. 00:04:45.786 --> 00:04:49.790 Hands groping, fingers fluttering, 00:04:49.790 --> 00:04:54.161 thighs twitching in the anticipation of lovemaking 00:04:54.161 --> 00:05:00.968 that will take place in this hot tub in less than 12 minutes. 00:05:00.968 --> 00:05:03.837 -I'm getting kind of pruney. I'm out. 00:05:03.837 --> 00:05:05.072 -Wait, wait, wait. -Wait, Dave, Dave. 00:05:05.072 --> 00:05:08.742 -Barbara, you are sans lov-ah. 00:05:08.742 --> 00:05:11.845 Dave, you a weary business traveler. 00:05:11.845 --> 00:05:15.916 Perhaps Cupid's aim is as sharp as that of Barbara Hernandez. 00:05:15.916 --> 00:05:17.417 -Perhaps. 00:05:17.417 --> 00:05:19.119 -I-I-I don't know. I think I'll just-- 00:05:19.119 --> 00:05:24.124 -David, don't be alarmed by the professors Klarvin. 00:05:24.124 --> 00:05:26.593 I remember myself when I first met 00:05:26.593 --> 00:05:29.396 Rog and Virg at the university. 00:05:29.396 --> 00:05:32.132 We were taking a camping trip to the Grand Canyon. 00:05:32.132 --> 00:05:33.233 -Yes. 00:05:33.233 --> 00:05:35.669 -After a supper of jackrabbit haunches, 00:05:35.669 --> 00:05:37.871 we laid out beneath the stars. 00:05:37.871 --> 00:05:40.607 -Somewhere in the distance, 00:05:40.607 --> 00:05:44.244 we heard the pounding of native drums. 00:05:52.553 --> 00:05:55.122 Was it... [ Laughter ] 00:05:55.122 --> 00:05:57.224 Was it in our minds? 00:05:57.224 --> 00:05:58.926 We don't know. 00:05:58.926 --> 00:06:01.828 [ Cheers and applause ] 00:06:07.768 --> 00:06:10.671 -That night, the great eagle spirit himself 00:06:10.671 --> 00:06:15.108 appeared at our tent and beckoned us to make love. 00:06:15.108 --> 00:06:20.080 We submitted to its ravenous desires 00:06:20.080 --> 00:06:25.185 as the three of us became one with the great eagle spirit. 00:06:25.185 --> 00:06:30.123 -Turns out the great eagle spirit 00:06:30.123 --> 00:06:36.296 was actually a fugitive trucker by the name of Rich Crenshaw. 00:06:36.296 --> 00:06:41.134 -Maybe I'm just, uh, road-weary, but, uh... 00:06:41.134 --> 00:06:43.704 that's a pretty beautiful story. 00:06:43.704 --> 00:06:45.506 -Lov-ah. 00:06:45.506 --> 00:06:49.710 Would you care to see my bed adorned with hibiscus petals 00:06:49.710 --> 00:06:55.249 and my photo of me and Geena Davis? 00:06:55.249 --> 00:06:57.551 -Geena Davis? That sounds nice. 00:06:57.551 --> 00:07:01.088 -Goodbye, Dave. -Bye, lov-ahs. 00:07:01.088 --> 00:07:03.156 Oh! -Bye. 00:07:06.059 --> 00:07:07.861 -You know... 00:07:09.396 --> 00:07:11.398 -Nothing pleases me more than 00:07:11.398 --> 00:07:15.903 seeing two new lovers take off in the night mist. 00:07:15.903 --> 00:07:17.471 -Yes, lover, I think there's 00:07:17.471 --> 00:07:20.274 only one reward for the job we've done. 00:07:20.274 --> 00:07:23.577 -Let the screams of our lovemaking reverberate off 00:07:23.577 --> 00:07:25.846 the roof of the Welshly Arms... 00:07:25.846 --> 00:07:28.682 -Oh, lov-ah. -...and into the night sky. 00:07:28.682 --> 00:07:30.117 -Oh, lov-ah. 00:07:30.117 --> 00:07:32.452 -Ow! Ow, my back! 00:07:32.452 --> 00:07:34.888 -What? -My -- my back. 00:07:34.888 --> 00:07:36.290 -Is it your back? What? 00:07:36.290 --> 00:07:37.824 I thought the water might help with your -- 00:07:37.824 --> 00:07:41.461 -Well, it doesn't help! Get the hell off me! 00:07:41.461 --> 00:07:43.463 [ Cheers and applause ] 00:07:44.464 --> 00:07:46.500 -Right before I said my line... -Yeah, exactly. 00:07:46.500 --> 00:07:47.968 -...you'd give me a little, like, squeeze on the kneecap... 00:07:47.968 --> 00:07:49.036 -Yeah, yeah. -...or something like... 00:07:49.036 --> 00:07:50.771 -Which was -- I'm just in character. 00:07:50.771 --> 00:07:54.007 [ Laughter ] Buh, uh... 00:07:54.007 --> 00:07:55.309 -But I mean, I always remember just crying. 00:07:55.309 --> 00:07:58.111 -But it added to the hijinks. -Crying laughing, dude. 00:07:58.111 --> 00:07:59.980 'Cause we didn't do it at dress. There was so many things 00:07:59.980 --> 00:08:03.183 that, like -- I would just -- Gosh, I got in so much trouble. 00:08:03.183 --> 00:08:05.219 I mean, Lorne didn't like it. -No. 00:08:05.219 --> 00:08:06.620 -No. -But I love -- 00:08:06.620 --> 00:08:08.755 -The writers didn't like it. -I love trying to get you there.