WEBVTT

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It all started on a Tuesday.

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I'm at work, working away,
and I get a call from my mom.

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I had declined.

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I get another call from my mom.

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I had declined.

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I get yet another call from my mom,

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and I pick up, "Mom, I'm busy at work,
can I call you back?"

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"No, Son, I need to talk to you
about something important."

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"Yes, Mom, I'm busy."

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"You need to go to New York
City this weekend."

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"What?"

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"You need to go to New York
City this weekend;

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there's a proposal for you,
and it's my best friend's daughter."

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"Mom! I'm not going to go
just to New York City

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just like that to meet a random girl.

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This is not how love works.

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You're not going to get me
arranged marriage."

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"Just check your email, and when you
buy your ticket, let me know."

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(Laughter)

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My mother, if nothing,
is a determined woman.

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She decided that, at age 30,
I needed to get married,

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and at age 32, I was already
two years too late.

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My mother, being from Hyderabad, India,

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a royal city in India,

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believes in the custom
of arranged marriages.

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She believes that first
comes the right person,

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then the love comes afterwards.

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But I'm an American,

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I'm an entrepreneur,

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I'm a millenial.

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I'm also a curious guy, 
so I checked the email.

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(Laughter)

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and when I do, I look,

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and ...

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Well, next thing you know,

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I buy a ticket,

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and I'm off to New York City,
later that weekend.

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(Laughter)

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So as I'm flying to NYC,
I'm prepping myself,

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"OK, Omar, remember
you have to be a gentleman,

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you have to do all the right things
you know you have to do:

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pull chairs, pay the bill,
do everything, be sincere, be funny.

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Just be you."

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I meet her at a restaurant,
and I do all of those things.

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We have what looks to be a great time.

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So at the end of the night,
after dropping her off, I text her,

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"Hey, it was great meeting you.

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I'm here one more day.
I'd like to see you tomorrow for coffee."

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Send.

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I don't get a response
till Sunday morning.

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When I get a response,

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I'm so excited, I go outside by myself.

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There's a body of water.

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I want to read it by myself. I look ...

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"It was great meeting you Omar.

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I don't see you that way.

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You're just a friend."

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(Laughter)

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I was devastated.

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I called my mom, "Mom,
I can't believe you made me do this.

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I told you arranged marriages
were not for me.

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This is not how love works.

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You know, that's it. I'm done.

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She said 'No,' Mom. She just said, 'No.'"

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Click.

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And now I'm off -
back to Miami, back to work,

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and I don't talk to any girl 
for months on end.

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I feel like a hamster on a hamster wheel:

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running, seven days a week.

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Monday through Friday,
I work as financial building analyst;

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Saturdays, I'm doing my MBA at FIU;

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and on Sundays, I run
Mr.Omar's Chess Academy.

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I teach my students
how to make the smart move.

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And I had no time for love anyways.

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My mother calls again,

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"Son, marriage is essential in life."

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(Laughter)

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"Mom!"

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"Think of your life with a wife.

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Think of your future generations.

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Think of your mother's
and your grandmother's happiness."

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(Laughter)

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My mother's a smart woman -

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she knows that by invoking
my grandmother that she'll get to me.

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Born in America, raised in India
by my grandmother,

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my upbringing was not that
of the average American.

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Raised by my grandmother for the first
five formative years of my life,

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my grandmother was my mother,
my father, my everything.

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She taught me to speak Urdu,
our cultural language.

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She taught me to honor
our religion, and our customs,

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and to have love for humanity,

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and I loved and adored my grandmother.

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And she wanted me to get married,

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and she even joked that she
wanted to be a grand-grandmother.

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After months of denial and deliberation,

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I give in to another arranged meeting,

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and this is all my mother needed.

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My mother is a persistent woman.

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What did she do this time?

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She gets a matchmaker.

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She finds a family -

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a distant family member
who does matchmaking as a hobby,

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(Laughter)

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and Mrs. Fatima was a fun, 
lighthearted, bubbly woman,

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and she tells me,

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"Matches are made in heaven;
I just bring the right people together.

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(Laughter)

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(Applause)

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That sounded OK to me.

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(Laughter)

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So now, I'm set for the first process,

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which is to create a biodata.

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A marriage biodata.

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What is that, you ask?

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Well, basically like what a CV
is for an employment base,

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this is what you call a "marriage resume."

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(Laughter)

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So you enter your age, your education,

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your employment, your family background,

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your ambitions, desires,
what you look for in a woman,

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and you include pictures.

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Easy enough, right?

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The matchmaker gives me a format
and says, "Follow this,"

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which is very bullet-pointed.

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I'm like, "No, no, no" ...

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OK, I'm going to be creative.

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If this is going to work,

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I'm going to write the story
as from the heart.

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And what I do, I intel all those things,

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I make it funny, and just
let my personality shine,

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and after a week long,

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I sent it to Mrs. Fatima, the matchmaker,

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and my biodata becomes a hit.

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Girls from all across the country
are calling my matchmaker;

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I even got proposals
from England and Canada.

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(Laughter)

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My matchmaker's an agent
calling me, telling me,

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"What about this girl?"

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"I don't know.

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She'll move to Miami?"

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"No she"s not."

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"OK, no."

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(Laughter)

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After months of this process,

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I still am a skeptic,

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I don't find the one,

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and I don't think arranged
marriages do actually work.

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But, like my grandmother had taught me,

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I kept faith in God,

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and I just was just optimistic
that somewhere out there,

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my true love was out there.

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June 21st, 2015.

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The summer solstice,
the longest day of the year,

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and the third day of Ramadan,
just last year,

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my mother calls me and says,

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"We got the perfect proposal."

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There is a "we" again.

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(Laughter)

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Quickly check,

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and I find out that her name's Areeba,

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and she's beautiful.

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As nervous as I was that first time,

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I call her.

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And there was natural chemistry.

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OK!

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We talk and talk and text for 30 days.

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We go on and ...

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everything seems to be going really well.

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We decide to meet 30 days later,

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but prior to that, I find out, I learned 
that she's a pediatric neurologist,

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and she loved kids, just as much as I did,

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and she loved that,
along with my career in finance,

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that I ran a chess academy 
for kids on the weekends.

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So ...

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we were set to meet.

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Everything up until this point
was going very smooth,

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up until the day of travel.

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Starting off with my first morning flight.

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I get to the counter,

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everything is set,

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and I'm there - 60 seconds -

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I'm late, I missed that flight.

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OK!

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I have to get to Chicago.

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I look, second flight.

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I get, I find out this airline,

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I get through the line,
everything, I get there,

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I'm set to pay.

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The gentleman's like,
"All right that'll be 1,175 dollars."

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(Laughter)

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"Oh my God, OK!"

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I know she's worth it,
of course she's worth it.

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OK, I'll do it,

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I have to get to Chicago.

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I take my license, credit card,

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I'm set to pay, and immediately
I think, "Southwest,"

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and I run, grab my everything and run,

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(Laughter)

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run to terminal three.

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(Breathes hard)

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I get there, I see a line,

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and I get through it,

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I'm set to pay,

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"I need a flight to Chicago ASAP."

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Lady says, "All right,
that will be 375 dollars."

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"Yes, I'll take it."

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Give the credit card.

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"OK sir, your license?"

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Yes, my license ...

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Um, um ...

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Where's my license? Oh my God.

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I know I have my license,
I should have my license.

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and immediately I think,

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"Oh, terminal two!"

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So quickly, I grab my bags,
and I run, I run,

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get back, the gentleman 
leaves this license out,

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I grab the license, run back.

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Now the line is a mile long -

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I'm thinking there's no way

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I make the line to make this flight,

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and I have to get to Chicago today.

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So as I'm searching and looking,
at the corner of my eye,

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I see a woman clocking in,
getting in to work.

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I run to her ...

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(Breathing hard)

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"I need to get to Chicago
on your next flight.

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Tonight I'm meeting the woman 
I may marry tonight.

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(Laughter)

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Please help me, in the name of love."

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(Laughter)

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The lady says, "I don't hear
that one very often,"

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(Laughter)

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and quickly my bad luck
turns to good luck.

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She prints the ticket, gets it to me,
I skip the mile-long line,

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and I'm set,

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and I'm thinking everything is set
on this last flight to Chicago.

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Now even that, Mother Nature 
plays its hand and "thunderstorm."

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Another delay.

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And quickly, I text her, let her know
I'm on my way, everything is fine.

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I get there seven hours later.

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Seven hours later, I'm in Chicago,

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and I'm thinking there's no way 
she's going to say yes.

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I'm late. This is not going to work.

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But love was in the air,

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she was just happy that I made it,

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and she just wanted to see me,
just as much as I wanted to see her.

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As soon as I walk
in that door and I see her,

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my first glimpse of her,

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and I felt a deep affection,

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a feeling of gratitude,

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and, if you look in the dictionary,

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I felt the definition of love.

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I felt it, she felt it,
and my hopes soared.

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Later that evening, we talked more,
we get to know each other.

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My sister was there, my mother was there,
her mother was there -

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we sat all together.

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(Laughter)

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Later, Areeba and I do take a walk,
and we talk by ourselves,

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and so ...

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(Laughter)

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Towards the end of that night,

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I'm instructed to sit here,
Areeba sits across from me,

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my mother and then
Areeba's mother sit across.

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My mother begins and asks Areeba,
"Do you like Omar enough to marry him?"

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(Laughter)

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She says, "Yes."

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Then she asks Areeba's mother,

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"Do you like Omar enough to be your son?"

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She says, "Yes."

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Now Areeba's mother does the same,
and Areeba's mother asks my mother,

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"Do you like Areeba 
enough to be your daughter?"

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My mom says, "Yes, I do."

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Before she can say, "Omar do you like "

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"Yes!"

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(Laughter)

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and then both mothers
ask us together in unison,

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"Omar, Areeba do you ... "

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"Yes!"

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Both of us nod.

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That Saturday night, I went home,
and I knew that she was the one for me.

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That Sunday morning, I wake up,
take my mother and sister,

00:12:27.508 --> 00:12:29.335
go out, buy the ring.

00:12:30.115 --> 00:12:33.456
Sunday evening, I'm set to meet her.

00:12:33.456 --> 00:12:34.981
Sunday evening, I see her,

00:12:34.981 --> 00:12:39.705
and I propose that next 
day after meeting her.

00:12:41.150 --> 00:12:44.260
We were set to get married
a year after that,

00:12:44.780 --> 00:12:46.560
which we did in July,

00:12:46.770 --> 00:12:48.319
just a few months ago.

00:12:49.178 --> 00:12:52.178
(Audience) Aah!

00:12:52.823 --> 00:12:53.823
(Audience) Woo!

00:12:54.208 --> 00:12:57.210
(Applause)

00:13:04.020 --> 00:13:08.948
After our wedding, we went for an 11-day
honeymoon to Andalusia, Spain,

00:13:08.948 --> 00:13:10.965
where we just had a romantic getaway,

00:13:10.965 --> 00:13:12.385
and we came back.

00:13:12.385 --> 00:13:16.785
And so, I used arranged marriages,

00:13:16.785 --> 00:13:20.151
and I found the love, 
the woman of my dreams.

00:13:21.191 --> 00:13:25.855
I listened to the wisdom 
of my mother and my grandmother.

00:13:26.335 --> 00:13:29.200
Arranged marriages
have been practiced for centuries

00:13:29.664 --> 00:13:34.396
from civilizations, from dynasties
in Europe, Asia, and Africa.

00:13:34.824 --> 00:13:37.806
In my research, I found an article
in the Chicago Tribune:

00:13:38.606 --> 00:13:42.596
"A surprising new look shows
arranged marriages in the United States

00:13:42.596 --> 00:13:47.800
lead to love, satisfaction,
and commitment."

00:13:48.779 --> 00:13:51.443
Arranged marriages
are not forced marriages.

00:13:51.803 --> 00:13:57.420
Arranged marriages, rather,
are a chance to meet someone,

00:13:58.130 --> 00:13:59.480
an arranged meeting.

00:14:00.760 --> 00:14:03.117
I found love behind arranged marriages,

00:14:03.807 --> 00:14:05.183
and so can you.

00:14:05.343 --> 00:14:06.425
Thank you.

00:14:06.425 --> 00:14:08.421
(Applause)