1 00:00:02,410 --> 00:00:05,130 Hello everybody and welcome to the Style Academy. 2 00:00:05,489 --> 00:00:08,770 We hope you'll find the videos and the exercises on this 3 00:00:08,770 --> 00:00:11,810 website really useful to you as you develop as a writer. 4 00:00:12,810 --> 00:00:14,810 This one is on writing sentences. 5 00:00:16,318 --> 00:00:16,629 Now, 6 00:00:16,719 --> 00:00:18,309 this may not be the best, 7 00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:18,709 uh, 8 00:00:18,719 --> 00:00:20,030 news to some of you out there, 9 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:20,590 but 10 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:23,629 you are going to be a writer throughout your life, 11 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:25,840 no matter what profession you go into. 12 00:00:26,700 --> 00:00:30,209 And you're going to be writing a lot of different kinds of documents. 13 00:00:30,459 --> 00:00:31,700 You're going to be writing emails, 14 00:00:31,780 --> 00:00:33,419 you're gonna be writing reports, 15 00:00:33,540 --> 00:00:34,779 analysis papers, 16 00:00:34,939 --> 00:00:36,139 blog posts, 17 00:00:36,259 --> 00:00:37,299 proposals. 18 00:00:38,090 --> 00:00:38,790 Love letters, 19 00:00:38,970 --> 00:00:39,490 who knows? 20 00:00:40,689 --> 00:00:42,599 But every time you sit down to write, 21 00:00:42,849 --> 00:00:44,970 you're going to be writing sentences. 22 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:47,689 And 23 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:50,610 You can't really improve your writing 24 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:54,549 until you can improve the way that you write a sentence. 25 00:00:55,500 --> 00:00:57,150 And that's what this lesson is all about. 26 00:00:58,299 --> 00:00:59,299 As you already know, 27 00:00:59,740 --> 00:01:03,209 sentences like the one you see now can be pretty simple. 28 00:01:04,899 --> 00:01:05,598 Or 29 00:01:05,819 --> 00:01:07,378 they can be not so simple at all. 30 00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:11,900 Here is a gargantuan sentence from Virginia Woolf, 31 00:01:11,940 --> 00:01:16,269 and she's famous for writing gargantuan and lovely sentences. 32 00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:19,620 What I want you to do now is something you may not do very often, 33 00:01:19,709 --> 00:01:20,290 which is 34 00:01:20,660 --> 00:01:24,269 pause this video and read this sentence out loud. 35 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:27,300 You may feel kind of weird because you're in a library 36 00:01:27,300 --> 00:01:29,819 or maybe you're sitting in your dorm room or something. 37 00:01:29,900 --> 00:01:30,970 I don't know where you are, 38 00:01:31,260 --> 00:01:31,940 but wherever you are, 39 00:01:32,019 --> 00:01:34,370 pause this and read this out loud 40 00:01:34,739 --> 00:01:38,169 and just listen to the way that Virginia Woolf makes this sentence, 41 00:01:38,540 --> 00:01:39,739 and then when we come back, 42 00:01:39,819 --> 00:01:42,610 we'll talk a little bit about it just for two seconds. 43 00:01:47,510 --> 00:01:47,940 OK, 44 00:01:48,059 --> 00:01:50,970 so what kind of sentence artist is Virginia Woolf? 45 00:01:51,569 --> 00:01:51,730 Uh, 46 00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:53,769 I noticed that she begins by saying, 47 00:01:54,260 --> 00:01:56,139 considering how common illness is, 48 00:01:57,300 --> 00:02:00,910 and she never completes her idea until the end of the sentence. 49 00:02:01,300 --> 00:02:04,220 Everything in the middle is building upon that, 50 00:02:04,339 --> 00:02:06,080 putting more and more weight 51 00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:10,770 on the sentence until the very ending when she says it becomes strange indeed that, 52 00:02:11,100 --> 00:02:12,539 and that's the whole point of the sentence, 53 00:02:12,580 --> 00:02:16,289 that's the main clause of the sentence if that language helps you. 54 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:20,139 So in using Virginia Woolf, 55 00:02:20,210 --> 00:02:22,839 I'm not saying that you need to write like Virginia Woolf. 56 00:02:23,330 --> 00:02:23,789 uh, 57 00:02:24,089 --> 00:02:26,660 and you maybe you don't want to write like Virginia Woolf. 58 00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:28,350 I don't want to write like Virginia Woolf. 59 00:02:28,449 --> 00:02:29,490 I enjoy her writing, 60 00:02:29,529 --> 00:02:32,039 but I want to create my own sentence style, 61 00:02:32,410 --> 00:02:32,550 uh, 62 00:02:32,559 --> 00:02:34,679 that has my own stamp and my own 63 00:02:34,809 --> 00:02:39,410 attitude and my own persona and all those things that come into writing sentences. 64 00:02:39,570 --> 00:02:40,410 And you should too. 65 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:42,039 So, 66 00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:45,850 one of the cool things about sentences is that they come in all kinds of varieties, 67 00:02:45,929 --> 00:02:46,919 as you see here. 68 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:52,630 Now I'd like to do an exercise with you that kind of demonstrates this point. 69 00:02:55,399 --> 00:02:57,550 You see two sentences on the screen. 70 00:02:57,880 --> 00:02:58,710 Micah sang, 71 00:02:59,039 --> 00:03:00,429 it's surprise to her mother. 72 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:02,889 What I'd like you to do 73 00:03:03,179 --> 00:03:06,380 is combine these two sentences to make one sentence. 74 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:10,750 And I want you to do it in as many different ways as you possibly can. 75 00:03:11,199 --> 00:03:14,710 Let's shoot for at least 1010 unique sentences 76 00:03:14,710 --> 00:03:17,600 that combine these two sentences together into one. 77 00:03:18,350 --> 00:03:19,339 And here are a few rules. 78 00:03:19,419 --> 00:03:19,520 I, 79 00:03:19,539 --> 00:03:19,800 I, 80 00:03:19,820 --> 00:03:24,179 I get this uh exercise from Max Morenberg in his book Doing Grammar. 81 00:03:25,759 --> 00:03:26,320 So, 82 00:03:26,570 --> 00:03:28,710 you can change sang to singing, 83 00:03:28,729 --> 00:03:32,580 or you can add commas or dashes or colons. 84 00:03:32,729 --> 00:03:39,559 You can also add um adverbs or adverbials like since or because or in the afternoon 85 00:03:39,809 --> 00:03:40,880 or something like that, 86 00:03:41,089 --> 00:03:43,690 but just don't change the essence of these two sentences, 87 00:03:43,729 --> 00:03:44,380 OK? 88 00:03:44,690 --> 00:03:45,839 Put the two together, 89 00:03:46,210 --> 00:03:47,649 switch the order if you want, 90 00:03:47,889 --> 00:03:49,559 and come up with at least 10, 91 00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:50,770 and then come back to me. 92 00:03:54,750 --> 00:03:55,660 How did that go? 93 00:03:56,149 --> 00:03:57,429 Did you come up with at least 10? 94 00:03:58,809 --> 00:03:59,179 Uh, 95 00:03:59,380 --> 00:04:01,529 as I was playing around with these two sentences, 96 00:04:01,580 --> 00:04:02,770 I came up with 97 00:04:03,300 --> 00:04:03,779 these. 98 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:07,759 You may have some of these very sentences on your paper. 99 00:04:09,270 --> 00:04:09,729 So, 100 00:04:09,759 --> 00:04:10,490 as I was writing things, 101 00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:14,029 as I was thinking that I was pretty much writing the same thing over and over again, 102 00:04:14,089 --> 00:04:15,029 but actually, 103 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:18,920 even changing the form changes a little bit of the 104 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:20,910 content or what the content is trying to say. 105 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:22,820 Like these two examples. 106 00:04:23,709 --> 00:04:25,420 Micah's singing surprised her mother, 107 00:04:25,459 --> 00:04:26,790 and if Mica sings, 108 00:04:26,869 --> 00:04:28,100 it surprises her mother. 109 00:04:29,179 --> 00:04:32,809 Those are two sentences saying very similar things, 110 00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:35,369 but the meaning is just a little bit different. 111 00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:41,149 Another amazing aspect of sentences is that with all these different options, 112 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:43,549 rhetorical tricks and combinations, 113 00:04:43,839 --> 00:04:46,279 you can write sentences that no one has ever 114 00:04:46,279 --> 00:04:48,690 written before in the history of the universe. 115 00:04:49,839 --> 00:04:50,820 You don't believe me? 116 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:52,420 Let's try one right now. 117 00:04:52,790 --> 00:04:53,100 So, 118 00:04:53,269 --> 00:04:54,549 I'm gonna write the sentence. 119 00:04:56,049 --> 00:04:59,369 This afternoon while working on these keynote slides, 120 00:04:59,489 --> 00:05:02,250 I'm listening to Feist and wondering if my wife 121 00:05:02,250 --> 00:05:05,040 Amy will plant more lantana in the front yard. 122 00:05:06,510 --> 00:05:07,640 It's not a work of art, 123 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:12,079 but my guess is that no one has ever written this sentence in the history of the world. 124 00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:13,890 And in fact, 125 00:05:13,970 --> 00:05:14,690 I proved it. 126 00:05:14,850 --> 00:05:16,040 I Googled this, 127 00:05:16,609 --> 00:05:17,329 and look, 128 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:18,559 no results found. 129 00:05:18,709 --> 00:05:20,089 No one's ever written this sentence. 130 00:05:23,010 --> 00:05:25,940 So what can learning to write sentences do for you? 131 00:05:27,290 --> 00:05:27,850 Well, 132 00:05:28,010 --> 00:05:29,190 it can add variety 133 00:05:29,410 --> 00:05:30,239 to your language. 134 00:05:31,679 --> 00:05:34,049 And let's get a little bit more specific about that. 135 00:05:34,410 --> 00:05:36,410 Let's go back to our sentence Ben laughed. 136 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:37,989 You know, 137 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:38,549 uh, 138 00:05:38,559 --> 00:05:42,109 what makes a sentence effective and artistic and, 139 00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:42,549 uh, 140 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:43,309 uh, 141 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:43,959 various. 142 00:05:44,890 --> 00:05:48,049 is when you can build on something simple like Ben left. 143 00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:49,320 So here's an example. 144 00:05:50,429 --> 00:05:51,359 In the afternoon, 145 00:05:51,410 --> 00:05:52,540 after his soccer game, 146 00:05:52,730 --> 00:05:53,500 Ben laughed. 147 00:05:53,809 --> 00:05:55,760 We're gonna call that a sentence opener, 148 00:05:56,250 --> 00:05:57,920 and I've sort of given you a, 149 00:05:57,929 --> 00:06:01,079 a little schematic of that with those dashes and then the X. 150 00:06:01,230 --> 00:06:03,440 It's like da da da da da and then the main clause, 151 00:06:03,649 --> 00:06:04,549 Ben laughed, 152 00:06:04,690 --> 00:06:05,170 bam. 153 00:06:06,510 --> 00:06:07,940 But you can also have 154 00:06:08,359 --> 00:06:11,589 build on a on a sentence by adding a closer. 155 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:15,630 Ben laughed and Root beer shot out his nose in a wild gush. 156 00:06:17,459 --> 00:06:18,890 I've heard that some people, 157 00:06:19,019 --> 00:06:20,730 some linguists would say that the, 158 00:06:20,739 --> 00:06:23,899 the English language and maybe language in general 159 00:06:23,899 --> 00:06:27,029 emerges kind of in this sentence closer pattern. 160 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:30,010 This is often called right branching. 161 00:06:30,260 --> 00:06:30,529 You see, 162 00:06:30,540 --> 00:06:34,890 you've got Ben laughed as the main clause and then things branch to the right of that 163 00:06:35,059 --> 00:06:36,350 as opposed to to the left. 164 00:06:36,790 --> 00:06:38,899 So this is kind of a sentence closer and you know, 165 00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:39,859 you add variety, 166 00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:41,769 you can change it actually to 167 00:06:42,100 --> 00:06:43,859 what's called a participial phrase. 168 00:06:43,940 --> 00:06:44,579 Ben laughed, 169 00:06:44,799 --> 00:06:46,899 shooting root beer out his nose in a wild gush. 170 00:06:48,130 --> 00:06:50,670 And then if you wanna get really fancy pants, 171 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:52,910 you can use a sentence interrupter. 172 00:06:53,359 --> 00:06:53,709 Ben, 173 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:56,109 my oldest and by far silious child, 174 00:06:56,279 --> 00:06:56,829 laughed. 175 00:06:57,149 --> 00:06:59,700 You can see the schematic there with those X's how 176 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:01,670 this the clause is interrupted. 177 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:05,559 There'll be more of this kind of stuff in other places in the style academy. 178 00:07:07,269 --> 00:07:11,369 So one of the many advantages of learning how to write effective sentences is 179 00:07:11,369 --> 00:07:15,369 that you're putting phrases and clauses together in a variety of different ways. 180 00:07:17,179 --> 00:07:19,589 You'll also learn how to write clear. 181 00:07:20,179 --> 00:07:21,850 Writing effective sentences 182 00:07:22,299 --> 00:07:24,980 means often writing clear sentences. 183 00:07:25,059 --> 00:07:26,410 So you connect with your readers, 184 00:07:26,420 --> 00:07:27,489 so they don't have to go 185 00:07:27,940 --> 00:07:30,089 uh through too much labor reading your stuff. 186 00:07:31,059 --> 00:07:32,459 It also gives you power, 187 00:07:32,540 --> 00:07:36,010 rhetorical power to convince and persuade other people. 188 00:07:36,260 --> 00:07:36,459 Heck, 189 00:07:36,470 --> 00:07:39,299 it might even make you happy learning how to write effective sentences. 190 00:07:39,380 --> 00:07:39,929 I don't know. 191 00:07:42,369 --> 00:07:43,140 But 192 00:07:43,390 --> 00:07:47,420 when you learn how to begin with something as simple as Ben laughed, 193 00:07:47,549 --> 00:07:49,420 and then build it to something like this, 194 00:07:50,350 --> 00:07:51,929 And then something like this. 195 00:07:53,519 --> 00:07:55,649 You develop rhetorical power as a writer. 196 00:07:59,420 --> 00:08:00,329 Before we finish, 197 00:08:00,540 --> 00:08:01,859 let's do one last exercise, 198 00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:02,299 OK? 199 00:08:06,790 --> 00:08:09,940 Take a look at this sentence written by John Hersey in his book, 200 00:08:10,029 --> 00:08:11,140 Hiroshima. 201 00:08:11,470 --> 00:08:14,660 It's an account of when the United States dropped an atomic bomb 202 00:08:14,989 --> 00:08:16,820 on the Japanese city 203 00:08:17,070 --> 00:08:17,910 of Hiroshima. 204 00:08:18,730 --> 00:08:19,730 And just to let you know, 205 00:08:19,769 --> 00:08:20,640 if you look at the top, 206 00:08:20,690 --> 00:08:21,660 that first word, 207 00:08:21,690 --> 00:08:23,130 non-ibakusha. 208 00:08:23,609 --> 00:08:25,320 Hibausha is 209 00:08:25,529 --> 00:08:28,579 uh means surviving victim of the atomic blast. 210 00:08:30,730 --> 00:08:36,320 What I want you to do here is take out a piece of paper or get a word processor humming, 211 00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:40,000 and I want you to just rewrite this sentence, 212 00:08:40,409 --> 00:08:42,770 rewrite it exactly as it appears, 213 00:08:43,010 --> 00:08:43,729 word for word, 214 00:08:43,849 --> 00:08:44,859 comma for comma. 215 00:08:46,580 --> 00:08:47,650 Then when you're finished, 216 00:08:48,219 --> 00:08:50,369 be prepared to talk to somebody about 217 00:08:50,859 --> 00:08:53,250 what you learned about this sentence just by 218 00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:54,500 copying it down. 219 00:08:55,609 --> 00:08:56,070 And in fact, 220 00:08:56,109 --> 00:08:57,460 it may seem crazy to you, 221 00:08:57,510 --> 00:09:00,969 but one of the more effective ways of improving your sentence writing 222 00:09:01,309 --> 00:09:02,580 is to imitate, 223 00:09:02,869 --> 00:09:05,630 to copy what another master writer has done, 224 00:09:05,669 --> 00:09:06,900 and that's what's happening here. 225 00:09:08,419 --> 00:09:10,169 One last note before you do that. 226 00:09:10,460 --> 00:09:13,289 I hope this lesson gave you some enthusiasm 227 00:09:13,659 --> 00:09:16,690 and some willpower to become a sentence artist, 228 00:09:17,179 --> 00:09:18,289 because that's what you are. 229 00:09:18,580 --> 00:09:21,219 You're a writer and writers write sentences.