0:00:02.410,0:00:05.130 Hello everybody and welcome to the Style Academy. 0:00:05.489,0:00:08.770 We hope you'll find the videos and the exercises on this 0:00:08.770,0:00:11.810 website really useful to you as you develop as a writer. 0:00:12.810,0:00:14.810 This one is on writing sentences. 0:00:16.139,0:00:18.309 Now, this may not be the best, 0:00:18.719,0:00:20.030 news to some of you out there, 0:00:20.120,0:00:20.590 but 0:00:21.200,0:00:23.629 you are going to be a writer throughout your life, 0:00:23.760,0:00:25.840 no matter what profession you go into. 0:00:26.700,0:00:30.209 And you're going to be writing a lot of different kinds of documents. 0:00:30.459,0:00:31.700 You're going to be writing emails; 0:00:31.780,0:00:33.419 you're gonna be writing reports, 0:00:33.540,0:00:34.779 analysis papers, 0:00:34.939,0:00:36.139 blog posts, 0:00:36.259,0:00:37.299 proposals, 0:00:38.090,0:00:38.790 love letters. 0:00:38.970,0:00:39.490 Who knows? 0:00:40.689,0:00:42.599 But every time you sit down to write, 0:00:42.849,0:00:44.970 you're going to be writing sentences. 0:00:47.000,0:00:47.689 And 0:00:48.400,0:00:50.610 you can't really improve your writing 0:00:51.200,0:00:54.549 until you can improve the way that you write a sentence. 0:00:55.500,0:00:57.150 And that's what this lesson is all about. 0:00:58.299,0:00:59.299 As you already know, 0:00:59.740,0:01:03.209 sentences like the one you see now can be pretty simple, 0:01:04.899,0:01:05.598 or 0:01:05.819,0:01:07.378 they can be not so simple at all. 0:01:08.669,0:01:11.900 Here is a gargantuan sentence from Virginia Woolf, 0:01:11.940,0:01:16.269 and she's famous for writing gargantuan and lovely sentences. 0:01:17.080,0:01:19.620 What I want you to do now is something you may not do very often, 0:01:19.709,0:01:20.290 which is 0:01:20.660,0:01:24.269 pause this video and read this sentence out loud. 0:01:24.800,0:01:27.300 You may feel kind of weird because you're in a library 0:01:27.300,0:01:29.819 or maybe you're sitting in your dorm room or something. 0:01:29.900,0:01:30.970 I don't know where you are, 0:01:31.260,0:01:31.940 but wherever you are, 0:01:32.019,0:01:34.370 pause this and read this out loud 0:01:34.739,0:01:38.169 and just listen to the way that Virginia Woolf makes this sentence, 0:01:38.540,0:01:39.739 and then when we come back, 0:01:39.819,0:01:42.610 we'll talk a little bit about it just for two seconds. 0:01:47.510,0:01:47.940 OK. 0:01:48.059,0:01:50.970 So, what kind of sentence artist is Virginia Woolf? 0:01:51.779,0:01:53.769 I noticed that she begins by saying, 0:01:54.260,0:01:56.139 "considering how common illness is..." 0:01:57.300,0:02:00.910 and she never completes her idea until the end of the sentence. 0:02:01.300,0:02:04.220 Everything in the middle is building upon that, 0:02:04.339,0:02:06.080 putting more and more weight 0:02:06.459,0:02:10.770 on the sentence until the very ending when she says "it becomes strange indeed that..." 0:02:11.100,0:02:12.539 And that's the whole point of the sentence. 0:02:12.580,0:02:16.289 That's the main clause of the sentence if that language helps you. 0:02:18.600,0:02:20.139 So, in using Virginia Woolf, 0:02:20.210,0:02:22.839 I'm not saying that you need to write like Virginia Woolf, 0:02:24.089,0:02:26.660 and maybe you don't want to write like Virginia Woolf. 0:02:26.729,0:02:28.350 I don't want to write like Virginia Woolf. 0:02:28.449,0:02:29.490 I enjoy her writing, 0:02:29.529,0:02:32.039 but I want to create my own sentence style 0:02:32.559,0:02:34.679 that has my own stamp and my own 0:02:34.809,0:02:39.410 attitude and my own persona and all those things that come into writing sentences. 0:02:39.570,0:02:40.410 And you should too. 0:02:41.160,0:02:45.850 So, one of the cool things about sentences is that they come in all kinds of varieties, 0:02:45.929,0:02:46.919 as you see here. 0:02:48.919,0:02:52.630 Now, I'd like to do an exercise with you that kind of demonstrates this point. 0:02:55.399,0:02:57.550 You see two sentences on the screen. 0:02:57.880,0:02:58.710 Myka sang, 0:02:59.039,0:03:00.429 It surprised her mother. 0:03:01.600,0:03:02.889 What I'd like you to do 0:03:03.179,0:03:06.380 is combine these two sentences to make one sentence. 0:03:07.020,0:03:10.750 And I want you to do it in as many different ways as you possibly can. 0:03:11.199,0:03:14.710 Let's shoot for at least ten—ten unique sentences 0:03:14.710,0:03:17.600 that combine these two sentences together into one. 0:03:18.350,0:03:19.339 And here are a few rules. 0:03:19.820,0:03:24.179 I get this exercise from Max Morenberg in his book "Doing Grammar." 0:03:25.750,0:03:28.710 So, you can change sang to singing, 0:03:28.729,0:03:32.580 or you can add commas or dashes or colons. 0:03:32.729,0:03:39.559 You can also add adverbs or adverbials like since or because or in the afternoon 0:03:39.809,0:03:40.880 or something like that, 0:03:41.089,0:03:43.690 but just don't change the essence of these two sentences. 0:03:43.729,0:03:44.380 OK? 0:03:44.690,0:03:45.839 Put the two together, 0:03:46.210,0:03:47.649 switch the order if you want, 0:03:47.889,0:03:49.559 and come up with at least ten, 0:03:49.729,0:03:50.770 and then come back to me. 0:03:54.750,0:03:55.660 How did that go? 0:03:56.149,0:03:57.429 Did you come up with at least ten? 0:03:59.380,0:04:01.529 As I was playing around with these two sentences, 0:04:01.580,0:04:02.770 I came up with 0:04:03.300,0:04:03.779 these. 0:04:04.800,0:04:07.759 You may have some of these very sentences on your paper. 0:04:09.319,0:04:10.490 So, as I was writing things, 0:04:10.600,0:04:14.029 I was thinking that I was pretty much writing the same thing over and over again, 0:04:14.089,0:04:15.029 but actually, 0:04:15.240,0:04:18.920 even changing the form changes a little bit of the 0:04:18.920,0:04:20.910 content or what the content is trying to say. 0:04:21.480,0:04:22.820 Like these two examples. 0:04:23.709,0:04:25.420 Myka's singing surprised her mother, 0:04:25.459,0:04:26.790 and if Myka sings, 0:04:26.869,0:04:28.100 it surprises her mother. 0:04:29.179,0:04:32.809 Those are two sentences saying very similar things, 0:04:33.140,0:04:35.369 but the meaning is just a little bit different. 0:04:37.010,0:04:41.149 Another amazing aspect of sentences is that with all these different options, 0:04:41.440,0:04:43.549 rhetorical tricks and combinations, 0:04:43.839,0:04:46.279 you can write sentences that no one has ever 0:04:46.279,0:04:48.690 written before in the history of the universe. 0:04:49.839,0:04:50.820 You don't believe me? 0:04:51.160,0:04:52.420 Let's try one right now. 0:04:52.790,0:04:53.100 So, 0:04:53.269,0:04:54.549 I'm gonna write the sentence. 0:04:56.049,0:04:59.369 "This afternoon, while working on these keynote slides, 0:04:59.489,0:05:02.250 I'm listening to Feist and wondering if my wife 0:05:02.250,0:05:05.040 Amy will plant more lantana in the front yard." 0:05:06.510,0:05:07.640 It's not a work of art, 0:05:07.760,0:05:12.079 but my guess is that no one has ever written this sentence in the history of the world. 0:05:13.380,0:05:13.890 And in fact, 0:05:13.970,0:05:14.690 I proved it. 0:05:14.850,0:05:16.040 I Googled this, 0:05:16.609,0:05:17.329 and look, 0:05:17.600,0:05:18.559 no results found. 0:05:18.709,0:05:20.089 No one's ever written this sentence. 0:05:23.010,0:05:25.940 So, what can learning to write sentences do for you? 0:05:27.090,0:05:29.190 Well, it can add variety 0:05:29.410,0:05:30.239 to your language. 0:05:31.679,0:05:34.049 And let's get a little bit more specific about that. 0:05:34.410,0:05:36.410 Let's go back to our sentence Ben laughed. 0:05:37.600,0:05:37.989 You know, 0:05:38.559,0:05:42.109 what makes a sentence effective and artistic and 0:05:43.320,0:05:43.959 various 0:05:44.890,0:05:48.049 is when you can build on something simple like Ben laughed. 0:05:48.140,0:05:49.320 So, here's an example. 0:05:50.429,0:05:51.359 In the afternoon, 0:05:51.410,0:05:52.540 after his soccer game, 0:05:52.730,0:05:53.500 Ben laughed. 0:05:53.809,0:05:55.760 We're gonna call that a sentence opener, 0:05:56.250,0:05:57.920 and I've sort of given you a 0:05:57.929,0:06:01.079 little schematic of that with those dashes and then the X. 0:06:01.230,0:06:03.440 It's like da da da da da and then the main clause, 0:06:03.649,0:06:04.549 Ben laughed. 0:06:04.690,0:06:05.170 Bam! 0:06:06.510,0:06:07.940 But you can also have 0:06:08.359,0:06:11.589 build on a sentence by adding a closer. 0:06:11.920,0:06:15.630 Ben laughed, and root beer shot out his nose in a wild gush. 0:06:17.459,0:06:18.890 I've heard that some people, 0:06:19.019,0:06:20.730 some linguists would say that the 0:06:20.739,0:06:23.899 English language and maybe language in general 0:06:23.899,0:06:27.029 emerges kind of in this sentence closer pattern. 0:06:27.600,0:06:30.010 This is often called right branching. 0:06:30.260,0:06:30.529 You see, 0:06:30.540,0:06:34.890 you've got Ben laughed as the main clause and then things branch to the right of that 0:06:35.059,0:06:36.350 as opposed to to the left. 0:06:36.790,0:06:38.899 So, this is kind of a sentence closer and, you know, 0:06:39.100,0:06:39.859 you add variety, 0:06:39.899,0:06:41.769 you can change it actually to 0:06:42.100,0:06:43.859 what's called a participial phrase. 0:06:43.940,0:06:44.579 Ben laughed, 0:06:44.799,0:06:46.899 shooting root beer out his nose in a wild gush. 0:06:48.130,0:06:50.670 And then if you wanna get really fancy pants, 0:06:50.880,0:06:52.910 you can use a sentence interrupter. 0:06:53.359,0:06:53.709 Ben, 0:06:53.920,0:06:56.109 my oldest and by far silious child, 0:06:56.279,0:06:56.829 laughed. 0:06:57.149,0:06:59.700 You can see the schematic there with those X's how 0:07:00.040,0:07:01.670 the clause is interrupted. 0:07:02.040,0:07:05.559 There'll be more of this kind of stuff in other places in the style academy. 0:07:07.269,0:07:11.369 So, one of the many advantages of learning how to write effective sentences is 0:07:11.369,0:07:15.369 that you're putting phrases and clauses together in a variety of different ways. 0:07:17.179,0:07:19.589 You'll also learn how to write clear. 0:07:20.179,0:07:21.850 Writing effective sentences 0:07:22.299,0:07:24.980 means often writing clear sentences. 0:07:25.059,0:07:26.410 So, you connect with your readers, 0:07:26.420,0:07:27.489 so they don't have to go 0:07:27.940,0:07:30.089 through too much labor reading your stuff. 0:07:31.059,0:07:32.459 It also gives you power, 0:07:32.540,0:07:36.010 rhetorical power to convince and persuade other people. 0:07:36.230,0:07:39.299 Heck, it might even make you happy learning how to write effective sentences. 0:07:39.380,0:07:39.929 I don't know. 0:07:42.369,0:07:43.140 But, 0:07:43.390,0:07:47.420 when you learn how to begin with something as simple as Ben laughed, 0:07:47.549,0:07:49.420 and then build it to something like this, 0:07:50.350,0:07:51.929 and then something like this, 0:07:53.519,0:07:55.649 you develop rhetorical power as a writer. 0:07:59.420,0:08:00.329 Before we finish, 0:08:00.540,0:08:01.859 let's do one last exercise. 0:08:01.940,0:08:02.299 OK? 0:08:06.790,0:08:09.940 Take a look at this sentence written by John Hersey in his book, 0:08:10.029,0:08:11.140 Hiroshima. 0:08:11.470,0:08:14.660 It's an account of when the United States dropped an atomic bomb 0:08:14.989,0:08:16.820 on the Japanese city 0:08:17.070,0:08:17.910 of Hiroshima. 0:08:18.730,0:08:19.730 And just to let you know, 0:08:19.769,0:08:20.640 if you look at the top, 0:08:20.690,0:08:21.660 that first word, 0:08:21.690,0:08:23.130 "non-hibakusha." 0:08:23.609,0:08:25.320 Hibakusha means 0:08:25.529,0:08:28.579 surviving victim of the atomic blast. 0:08:30.730,0:08:36.320 What I want you to do here is take out a piece of paper or get a word processor humming, 0:08:36.650,0:08:40.000 and I want you to just rewrite this sentence. 0:08:40.409,0:08:42.770 Rewrite it exactly as it appears, 0:08:43.010,0:08:43.729 word for word, 0:08:43.849,0:08:44.859 comma for comma. 0:08:46.580,0:08:47.650 Then, when you're finished, 0:08:48.219,0:08:50.369 be prepared to talk to somebody about 0:08:50.859,0:08:53.250 what you learned about this sentence just by 0:08:53.500,0:08:54.500 copying it down. 0:08:55.609,0:08:56.070 And in fact, 0:08:56.109,0:08:57.460 it may seem crazy to you, 0:08:57.510,0:09:00.969 but one of the more effective ways of improving your sentence writing 0:09:01.309,0:09:02.580 is to imitate, 0:09:02.869,0:09:05.630 to copy what another master writer has done, 0:09:05.669,0:09:06.900 and that's what's happening here. 0:09:08.419,0:09:10.169 One last note before you do that. 0:09:10.460,0:09:13.289 I hope this lesson gave you some enthusiasm 0:09:13.659,0:09:16.690 and some willpower to become a sentence artist, 0:09:17.179,0:09:18.289 because that's what you are. 0:09:18.580,0:09:21.219 You're a writer and writers write sentences.