GEORGE: I guess I just haven't got it. That's all.
GRACIE: George, don't be ridiculous, you're great.
You've got a beautiful singing voice.
GEORGE: No, they want a younger man.
GRACIE: What do they know?
Eddie Fisher, Perry Como,
Tony Martin, well you're better than the three of them put together.
You're younger than the three of them put together. [LAUGHTER]
GEORGE: Why?
I love her, that's why.
Joe, that's a direct cue. [MUSIC]
She wakes me up when I'm in slumber deep,
to ask me if I really am asleep.
Why do I stand for it?
I love her, that's why.
She calls the doctor when I need some bread,
and calls the banker when I'm sick in bed.
Why do I stand for it?
Well, I love her, that's why.
Life with her is unpredictable,
but I'm a guy who knows no fear.
Her jibber-jabbering may puzzle you and me,
but to her, it's perfectly clear.
She'll make a date with me then make me wait,
and then she'll bawl me out for being late.
Why do I stand for it?
I love her, that's why.
GRACIE: He serenades me
with that gravel voice.
I have to listen because I have no choice.
Why do I stand for it?
I love him, that's why.
He'll keep repeating all his corny jokes and making snide remarks about my folks.
Why do I stand for it?
I love him, that's why.
Life with him is so lugubrious.
Whatever that may mean, I'm sure.
He calls me sweetie pie
but never tells me why.
Now you see what I must endure.
He'll start to quarrel over silly things like wrecking cars or losing diamond rings.
Why do I stand for it?
I love him, that's why. [MUSIC]
MAN: We can't fight it. What do we care what people think? We know it's right.
WOMAN: What about my husband? What will I tell him? [APPLAUSE]