GEORGE: I guess I just haven't got it. That's all.

GRACIE: George, don't be ridiculous, you're great.

You've got a beautiful singing voice.

GEORGE: No, they want a younger man.

GRACIE: What do they know?

Eddie Fisher, Perry Como,

Tony Martin, well you're better than the three of them put together.

You're younger than the three of them put together. [LAUGHTER]

GEORGE: Why?

I love her, that's why.

Joe, that's a direct cue. [MUSIC]

She wakes me up when I'm in slumber deep,

to ask me if I really am asleep.

Why do I stand for it?

I love her, that's why.

She calls the doctor when I need some bread,

and calls the banker when I'm sick in bed.

Why do I stand for it?

Well, I love her, that's why.

Life with her is unpredictable,

but I'm a guy who knows no fear.

Her jibber-jabbering may puzzle you and me,

but to her, it's perfectly clear.

She'll make a date with me then make me wait,

and then she'll bawl me out for being late.

Why do I stand for it?

I love her, that's why.

GRACIE: He serenades me

with that gravel voice.

I have to listen because I have no choice.

Why do I stand for it?

I love him, that's why.

He'll keep repeating all his corny jokes and making snide remarks about my folks.

Why do I stand for it?

I love him, that's why.

Life with him is so lugubrious.

Whatever that may mean, I'm sure.

He calls me sweetie pie

but never tells me why.

Now you see what I must endure.

He'll start to quarrel over silly things like wrecking cars or losing diamond rings.

Why do I stand for it?

I love him, that's why. [MUSIC]

MAN: We can't fight it. What do we care what people think? We know it's right.

WOMAN: What about my husband? What will I tell him? [APPLAUSE]