WEBVTT

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[Jeff Dunham] What I want you to do is I want you to look over there

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while I'm getting him out so you don't peek.
[Skeleton dummy] OK

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[Dunham] Just look over there.

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[Skeleton] Hey, wait a minute, when I'm not looking, are you going to kill me?

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[canned laughter, also interspersing the rest of the show]
Now, that's actually a good way to do it, you know.

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Kind of old school, but effective.

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It's like, "Hey, look at that!" [throttled noise]

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[Dunham] No, just look over there and don't look back until I say so.

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[Skeleton] OK, whatever. This is kind of like Christmas, uh?

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[Dunham] Yeah, just look over there
[Skeleton] OK

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[Dunham] Don't peek.
[Skeleton] OK, right, I'm not going to peek, but it's still... now?

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[Dunham] Nooo! 
[Skeleton] OK! I didn't ....

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[Skeleton] Aow!
[Semi-skeleton] Aow!

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[Skeleton] Who the hell is that?

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[Semi-skeleton] Hello, Father!

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[Dunham] It's your son, Ahmed Junior!

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[Skeleton] A.J.?

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[Semi-skeleton] That's right.

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[Skeleton] Wait, I thought you were dead!

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[Semi-skeleton] Surprise!

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[Dunham] This is great.

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[Skeleton] Hey, what happened to your face?
Oh, yeah. My bad.

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[Dunham] Achmed, he's your son! Look at him, what do you see?

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[Skeleton] Well, he does have my eye [laughs].

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[Semi-skeleton] Actually, I do, yes, I do.

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[Skeleton] Why do you sound like Elton John?

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[Dunham] You were separated after the accident: he was raised in England.

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[Semi-skeleton] Did my mum miss me?

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[Skeleton] Err, yeah, I don't know, what the hell mmmm

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[Dunham] How do you not know?

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[Skeleton] Oops...

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[A.J.] What's wrong with your leg?

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[Achmed] NOTHING! ...What's wrong with my leg?

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[Achmed] Can you fix this?
[Jeff] I don't think so...

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[Achmed] Damm it!

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[A.J.] Don't look at me!

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[Jeff] What if we get Marnel to help us? He works fine.
[Achmed] Marneeeeel, come and fix my leg!

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[A.J.] He's kinda cute.

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[Achmed] Okay, moving oooon!

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[Jeff] Wait a moment, how do you not know who his mother is?

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[Achmed] I had 46 wives, you idiot!

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[Achmed] They all dressed the same
and the faces were covered.

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[Jeff] So how can you tell them apart?
[Achmed] The numbers on theirs backs!

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[Jeff] That's terrible.
[Achmed] Yeah, Mother's Day is a bitch.

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[A.J.] What's wrong with your leg?