1 00:00:14,188 --> 00:00:19,669 - Oh dad! Look who's come to see us. I'ts our Ken! 2 00:00:19,669 --> 00:00:22,662 - Aye, and about bloody time if you ask me. 3 00:00:22,662 --> 00:00:24,335 - Aren't you pleased to see me, father? 4 00:00:24,335 --> 00:00:26,629 - Yes, 'course he's pleased to see you, Ken. 5 00:00:26,629 --> 00:00:33,001 All right, woman, all right. I've got a tongue in my head. I'll do 'talkin'. 6 00:00:33,001 --> 00:00:35,611 - Aye ... I like yer fancy suit. Is that what they're wearing up in Yorkshire now? 7 00:00:35,611 --> 00:00:42,564 - It's just an ordinary suit, father... it's all I've got apart from the overalls. 8 00:00:42,564 --> 00:00:44,711 - How are you liking it down the mine, Ken? 9 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,231 - Oh it's not too bad, mum... 10 00:00:46,231 --> 00:00:50,451 We're using some new tungsten carbide drills for the preliminary coal-face scouring operations. 11 00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:52,384 - Oh that sounds nice, dear... 12 00:00:52,384 --> 00:00:58,600 - Tungsten carbide drills! What the bloody hell's tungsten carbide drills? 13 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,692 - It's something they use in coal-mining, father. 14 00:01:00,692 --> 00:01:05,188 - 'It's something they use in coal-mining, father'. You're all bloody fancy talk since you left London. 15 00:01:05,188 --> 00:01:07,049 - Oh not that again. 16 00:01:07,049 --> 00:01:11,359 - He's had a hard day dear... his new play opens at the National Theatre tomorrow. 17 00:01:11,359 --> 00:01:13,295 - Oh that's good. 18 00:01:13,295 --> 00:01:15,688 - Good! Good? What do you know about it? 19 00:01:15,688 --> 00:01:18,074 What do you know about getting up at five o'clock in t'morning to fly to Paris... 20 00:01:18,074 --> 00:01:21,871 back at the Old Vic for drinks at twelve, sweating the day through press interviews, 21 00:01:21,871 --> 00:01:25,227 television interviews and getting back here at ten to wrestle with the problem of a 22 00:01:25,227 --> 00:01:30,247 homosexual nymphomaniac drug-addict involved in the ritual murder of a well known Scottish footballer. 23 00:01:30,247 --> 00:01:34,160 That's a full working day, lad, and don't you forget it! 24 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:36,467 - Oh, don't shout at the boy, father. 25 00:01:36,467 --> 00:01:39,824 - Aye, 'ampstead wasn't good enough for you, was it?... 26 00:01:39,824 --> 00:01:43,673 you had to go poncing off to Barnsley. 27 00:01:43,673 --> 00:01:46,342 You and yer coal-mining friends. 28 00:01:46,342 --> 00:01:50,980 - Coal-mining is a wonderful thing father, but it's something you'll never understand. 29 00:01:50,980 --> 00:01:52,277 Just look at you! 30 00:01:52,277 --> 00:01:55,429 - Oh Ken! Be careful! You know what he's like after a few novels. 31 00:01:55,429 --> 00:02:03,554 - Oh come on lad! Come on, out wi' it! What's wrong wi' me?... yet tit! 32 00:02:03,554 --> 00:02:06,113 - I'll tell you what's wrong with you. 33 00:02:06,113 --> 00:02:07,372 Your head's addled with novels and poems, 34 00:02:07,372 --> 00:02:09,892 you come home every evening reeling of Chateau La Tour... 35 00:02:09,892 --> 00:02:10,748 - Oh don't, don't. 36 00:02:10,748 --> 00:02:12,234 - And look what you've done to mother! 37 00:02:12,234 --> 00:02:14,809 She's worn out with meeting film stars, attending premieres and giving gala luncheons... 38 00:02:14,809 --> 00:02:19,921 - There's nowt wrong wi' gala luncheons, lad! 39 00:02:19,921 --> 00:02:22,861 I've had more gala luncheons than you've had hot dinners! 40 00:02:22,861 --> 00:02:24,491 - Oh please! 41 00:02:24,491 --> 00:02:26,171 - Aaaaaaagh! 42 00:02:26,171 --> 00:02:27,308 - Oh no! 43 00:02:27,308 --> 00:02:28,046 - What is it? 44 00:02:28,046 --> 00:02:29,976 - Oh, it's his writer's cramp! 45 00:02:29,976 --> 00:02:31,686 - You never told me about this... 46 00:02:31,686 --> 00:02:33,599 - No, we didn't like to, Kenny. 47 00:02:33,599 --> 00:02:36,283 - I'm all right! I'm all right, woman. Just get him out of here. 48 00:02:36,283 --> 00:02:38,260 - Oh Ken! You'd better go... 49 00:02:38,260 --> 00:02:39,749 - All right. I'm going. 50 00:02:39,749 --> 00:02:40,304 - After all we've done for him... 51 00:02:40,436 --> 00:02:44,090 One day you'll realize there's more to life than culture... There's dirt, and smoke, and good honest sweat! 52 00:02:44,239 --> 00:02:45,850 - Get out! Get out! Get OUT! You ... LABOURER! 53 00:02:45,850 --> 99:59:59,999 - Hey, you know, mother, I think there's a play there.... get t'agent on t'phone. 54 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Aye I think you're right, Frank, it could express, it could express a vital theme of our age... 55 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - Aye. 56 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Oh shut up! 57 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Shut up! 58 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Oh, that's better. 59 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And now for something completely different... a man with three buttocks... 60 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - We've done that! 61 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Oh all right. All right! A man with nine legs. 62 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - He ran away. 63 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Oh... Bloody Hell! Er ... a Scotsman on a horse! 64 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Harold! Come back, Harold! Harold! Come back, Harold! Oh, blast!