9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 {Applause} [br]Costello: How do you like my long club Lou? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: Hey all those people going to be at the game today? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: Certainly! Wow! It's going to be a whopper of a game! 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: Well, It should be! 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: Hey Abbott, I understand they made you the manager of this here baseball team. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: Why not? So you're the manager? [br]Costello: I'm the manager. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: Well you know, I'd like to know some of the guy's name on the team 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 so when I meet on the street or the ball park I'll 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 be able to saw hello to those people. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: Why, sure I'll introduce you to those people. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 They give them funny names though, Lou. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: Oh, I know they give those ball players awfully funny names. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: Let's see on the team we have; "Who's" on first, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "What's" on second, "I don't know's" on third, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: You the manager?[br]Costello: Yes[br]Abbott: You know the guy's name? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: I should. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: Good, well then tell me the guy's name. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: I say "Who's" on first, "What's" on second, "I don't know's" on third. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: You the manager? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: Yes 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: You know the guy's name? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: I'm telling you their names! 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: Well, who's on first?[br]Costello: Yes. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: Well then go ahead and tell me.[br]Costello: "Who" 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: The guy on first. [br]Costello: "Who!" 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: The guy playing first base. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: "Who!" 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: The guy on first 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: "Who!"[br]"Who" is on first base. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: What are you asking me for? I'm asking you! 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: I'm not asking you, I'm telling you 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: You ain't telling me nothing. I'm asking you who's on first? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: That's it![br]Abbott: Well go ahead and tell me. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: "Who!"[br]Abbott: The guy on first base. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: That's his name![br]Abbott: That's whose name? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costtello: Yes[br]Abbott: Well then tell me. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: That's the man's name! 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: Whose name? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: Yeah[br]Abbott: Well then go ahead and tell me! 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: "Who" is on first? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: What are you asking me for? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I'm asking you who's on first. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: That's it. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: Well go ahead and tell me. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: "Who" 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: The guy on first! 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: That's it. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: What's the guy's name on first? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: No, "What's" on second? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: I'm not asking you who's on second! 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: "Who's" on first? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: That's what I'm asking you. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Who's on first? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: Now wait a minute, just don't...don't change the players. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: I'm not changing nobody! I asked you a simple question! 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: What's the guy's name on first base? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: "What's" the guy's name on second base? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: I'm not asking you who's on second! 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: "Who" is on first? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: I don't know. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: He's on third. Now we're not talking about him. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: Look. You got a first baseman? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: Yes. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: Then tell me the fella's name playing first. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: "Who." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: They guy playing first. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: That's his name. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: Wait. What's the guy's name on first base? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: "What" is the guy's name on second base. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: Who's playing second? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: "Who's" playing first. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: I don't know 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: He's on third base. What's the matter with you? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: Look. When you pay off the first baseman every month, who do you pay the money to? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: Every dollar of it. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: Yeah. (Frustrated noise) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: Look. You gotta pay the money to somebody on first base don't ya? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: Yeah 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: Does he give you a receipt? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Costello: Yes. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Abbott: How does he sign the receipt? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "Who." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 The guy that you give the money to. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 That's how he signs it. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 That's how who signs it? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Yes. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Well go ahead and tell me. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 That's him. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 That's who? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Yes. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 When you give the guy the money, don't he have to sign the receipt? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 He does, Lou. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Well, how does he sign his name? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "Who." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 The guy you give the receipt! 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 The guy who signs it signs it "Who." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 You. You dope. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Now take it easy 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 You just don't give money to somebody without him giving you a receipt. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 No. "Who" signs it. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 What are you asking me for? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Go ahead then. Tell me. What's the guy's name that signs the receipt on first base? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Now wait a minute. "What" signs his own receipt. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Who signs his own receipt? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 No. "Who" signs his. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I'm asking you when the guy on first base gives you a piece of paper he puts his name on it. How does the fella's name on first base look to you when he signs his name? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "Who." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 To you. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 That's how it looks. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 How does it look to you? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "Who" 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 To you? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "WHO" 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 To you? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "WHO" 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Look. When the guy signs his name, how does it look to you? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Now that's how it looks. "WHO." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I"m asking you what's the guy's name on first base you give the money to? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "WHO." After all, the man's entitled to it. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Who is? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Yes. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Who's wife? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Yeah. Sure. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 All I'm trying to find out is, what's the guy's name on first base. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "What" is on second base. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I'm not asking you who's on second. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "Who's" on first. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "I don't know" 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 He's on Th- 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Third base. I know that. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 You got and outfield? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Sure. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 What's the Left Fielder's name? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "Why." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I just thought I'd ask you. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Well, I just thought I'd tell you. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 The left Fielder's name? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "Why." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Hmm. BECAUSE 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Nah. He's Center Field. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 UGH