WEBVTT

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
{Applause} 
Costello: How do you like my long club Lou?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Hey all those people going to be at the game today?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Certainly! Wow! It's going to be a whopper of a game!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Well, It should be!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Hey Abbott, I understand they made you the manager of this here baseball team.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Why not? So you're the manager? 
Costello: I'm the manager.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Well you know, I'd like to know some of the guy's name on the team

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
so when I meet on the street or the ball park I'll

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
be able to saw hello to those people.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Why, sure I'll introduce you to those people.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
They give them funny names though, Lou.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Oh, I know they give those ball players awfully funny names.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Let's see on the team we have; "Who's" on first,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"What's" on second, "I don't know's" on third,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: You the manager?
Costello: Yes
Abbott: You know the guy's name?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: I should.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Good, well then tell me the guy's name.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: I say "Who's" on first, "What's" on second, "I don't know's" on third.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999


99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: You the manager?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Yes

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: You know the guy's name?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: I'm telling you their names!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Well, who's on first?
Costello: Yes.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Well then go ahead and tell me.
Costello: "Who"

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: The guy on first. 
Costello: "Who!"

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: The guy playing first base.

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Costello: "Who!"

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Abbott: The guy on first

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: "Who!"
"Who" is on first base.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: What are you asking me for? I'm asking you!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999


99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: I'm not asking you, I'm telling you

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: You ain't telling me nothing. I'm asking you who's on first?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999


99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: That's it!
Abbott: Well go ahead and tell me.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: "Who!"
Abbott: The guy on first base.

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Costello: That's his name!
Abbott: That's whose name?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costtello: Yes
Abbott: Well then tell me.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: That's the man's name!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Whose name?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Yeah
Abbott: Well then go ahead and tell me!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: "Who" is on first?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: What are you asking me for?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm asking you who's on first.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: That's it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Well go ahead and tell me.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: "Who"

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: The guy on first!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: What's the guy's name on first?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: No, "What's" on second?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: I'm not asking you who's on second!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: "Who's" on first?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: That's what I'm asking you.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Who's on first?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Now wait a minute, just don't...don't change the players.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: I'm not changing nobody! I asked you a simple question!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: What's the guy's name on first base?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: "What's" the guy's name on second base?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: I'm not asking you who's on second!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: "Who" is on first?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: I don't know.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: He's on third. Now we're not talking about him.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999


99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Look. You got a first baseman?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Yes.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Then tell me the fella's name playing first.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: "Who."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: They guy playing first.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: That's his name.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Wait. What's the guy's name on first base?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: "What" is the guy's name on second base.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Who's playing second?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: "Who's" playing first.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: I don't know

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: He's on third base. What's the matter with you?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Look. When you pay off the first baseman every month, who do you pay the money to?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Every dollar of it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Yeah. (Frustrated noise)

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Look. You gotta pay the money to somebody on first base don't ya?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Yeah

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Does he give you a receipt?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Yes.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: How does he sign the receipt?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"Who."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The guy that you give the money to.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That's how he signs it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That's how who signs it?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yes.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Well go ahead and tell me.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That's him.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That's who?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yes.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
When you give the guy the money, don't he have to sign the receipt?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
He does, Lou.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Well, how does he sign his name?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"Who."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The guy you give the receipt!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The guy who signs it signs it "Who."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You. You dope.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Now take it easy

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You just don't give money to somebody without him giving you a receipt.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
No. "Who" signs it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
What are you asking me for?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm not asking you, I'm telling you.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Go ahead then. Tell me. What's the guy's name that signs the receipt on first base?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Now wait a minute. "What" signs his own receipt.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Who signs his own receipt?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
No. "Who" signs his.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm asking you when the guy on first base gives you a piece of paper he puts his name on it. How does the fella's name on first base look to you when he signs his name?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"Who."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
To you.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That's how it looks.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
How does it look to you?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"Who"

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
To you?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"WHO"

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
To you?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"WHO"

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Look. When the guy signs his name, how does it look to you?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Now that's how it looks. "WHO."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I"m asking you what's the guy's name on first base you give the money to?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"WHO." After all, the man's entitled to it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Who is?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yes.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Who's wife?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yeah. Sure.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
All I'm trying to find out is, what's the guy's name on first base.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"What" is on second base.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm not asking you who's on second.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"Who's" on first.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"I don't know"

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
He's on Th-

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Third base. I know that.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You got and outfield?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Sure.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
What's the Left Fielder's name?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"Why."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I just thought I'd ask you.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Well, I just thought I'd tell you.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The left Fielder's name?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"Why."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Hmm. BECAUSE

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Nah. He's Center Field.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
UGH

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Applause)

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: How do you like my long club Lou?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Hey all those people going to be at the game today?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Certainly! Wow! It's going to be a whopper of a game!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Well, It should be!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Hey Abbott, I understand they made you the manager of this here baseball team.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Why not? So you're the manager?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: I'm the manager.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Well you know, I'd like to know some of the guy's name on the team

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
so when I meet on the street or the ball park I'll

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
be able to saw hello to those people.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
COstello: Why, sure I'll introduce you to those people.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The;y give them funny names though, Lou.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Oh, I know they give those ball players awfully funny names.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Let's see on the team we have; Who's on first,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"What's on second, "I don't know's on third,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: You the manager:

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Yes

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: You know the guy's name?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: I should.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Good, well then tell me the guy's name.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: I say, "Who's on first, "What's on second, "I don't know's on third.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: You the manager?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Yes

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: You know the guy's name?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: I'm telling you their names!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Well, who's on first?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Yes.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Well then go ahead and tell me.

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Costello: "Who!"

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: The guy playing first base.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: "Who!"

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: The guy on first

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: "Who!"

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"Who" is on first!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: What are you asking me for? I'm asking you!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: I'm not asking you, I'm telling you

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: You ain't telling me nothing. I'm asking you who's on first?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: That's it!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Well go ahead and tell me.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: "Who!"

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: The guy on first base.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: That's his name!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: That's who's name?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Yes

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Well then go ahead and tell me.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: That's the man's name!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: That's whose name?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Yeah

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Well then go ahead and tell me!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: "Who" is on first.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: What are you asking me for?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm asking you who's on first.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: That's it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Well go ahead and tell me.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: "Who"

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: The guy on first!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: That's it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: What's the guy's name on first?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: No, What's on second.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott:I'm not asking you who's on second.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Who's on first.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: That's what I'm asking you, who's on first.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Now wait now don't, don't change the play.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: I'm not changing nobody.
I'm asking a simple question.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abott: What's the guy's name on first base?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: What's the guy's name on second base.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: I'm not asking you who's on second.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Who is on first.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: I don't know
Costello: He's on third.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Now we're not talking about him.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Look. You got a first baseman?
Costello: Yes.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Then tell me the fellow's name playing first.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Who.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: The guy playing first.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: That's his name.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Wait. What's the guy's name on first base?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: What is the guy's name on second base.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Who's playing second?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Who's playing first.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: I don't know
Costello:He's on third base!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
<audience laughs>
Costello: What's the matter with you?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Look, when you pay off the first baseman every month,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
who do you pay the money to?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Every dollar of it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Yeah.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
<laughter>

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Look, you gotta pay the money to somebody on first base, don't you?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Does he give you a receipt?
Costello: Sure

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: How does he sign the receipt?
Costello: Who.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: The guy that you give the money to.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
<laughter>

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Who!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: The guy you give the money to.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: That's how he signs it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: That's how who signs it?
Costello: Yes.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Go ahead and tell me.
Costello: That's it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: That's who?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Yes!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: When you give the guy the money, don't he have to sign a recipt?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: He does, Lou!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: So how does he sign his name?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Who!
Abbott: They guy you give the money to!!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
<inaudible over audience laughter>

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: You dope!
Costello: Now take it easy...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: You don't just give money to somebody without him giving you a recipt.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: No, Who signs it.
Abbott: What are you asking ME for??

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Now, I'm not asking you, I'm telling you.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Well go ahead and tell me, what's the guy's name that signs the receipt for first base?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Now wait a minute, What signs his own receipts.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Who signs his own receipts?
Costello: No, Who signs his.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Wh... I'm asking you when the guy on first base

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
gives you a piece of paper, he puts his name on it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: No Who puts his name on it and What puts his name...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: How does the fellow's name on first base look to you when he signs his name?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Who.
Abbott: To you.
Costello:That's how it looks!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: How does it look to you?
Costello: Who!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: To you.
Costello: Who!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: To you!
Costello: Who!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: When the guy signs his name, how does it look to you?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Look, that's how it looks... Who!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Who??
Costello: Who.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: I'm asking you, what's the guy's name on first base that you give the money to?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Who! After all the man's entitled to it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Who is?
Costello: Yes.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
<laughter>

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Who's wife?
Cotello: Yes, sure.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: What is on second base...
Abbott: I'm not asking you who's on second.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Who's on first
Abbott: I don't know...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Together: Third base.
Abbott: I know that...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: You got an outfield?
Costello: The left fielder's name?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: I just thought I'd ask you.
Costello: Well, I just thought I'd tell you.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: The left fielder's name?
Costello: Why!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Hmm.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: BECAUSE!
Costello: Ahhh...he's center field.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
<Abbott groans>

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: You don't know these players as well as...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: All I'm trying to find out is, what's the guy's name in left field?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: No, What is on second.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: I'm not asking you who's on second.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Who's on first.
Abbott: I don't know,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Together: Third base.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
<audience laughter>

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: You got a pitcher on the team?


99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Wouldn't this be a fine team without a pitcher.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: The pitcher's name?
Costello: Tomorrow.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: You don't want to tell me today?
Costello: I'm telling you, Lou.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Then go ahead.
Costello: Tomorrow.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: What time?
Costello: What time what?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: What time tomorrow you going to tell me who's pitching?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Now listen, Who is not...
Abbott: I'll break your arm if you say his on first!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: I want to know what's the pitcher's name.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: What's on second.
Abbott: I don't know...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Together: THIRD BASE.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: You got a catcher?
Costello: Sure.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: The catcher's name?
Costello: Today.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Today. You don't want to tell me...today...tomorrow, do you?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
<both laugh>

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: I'm telling you.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: So the catcher's name?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Today.
Abbott: Today. And tomorrow's pitching.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Now you've got it!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Now I've got it...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
<sounds of annoyance>

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: What we've got is a couple of days on the team.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Well I can't help that.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Alright, now you know I'm a good catcher.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Now I get behind the plate and tomorrow's pitching on my team and a heavy hitter gets up.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costtello: Yes...
Abbot: Now when he gets up me being a good catcher 
I'm going to throw they guy out at first base.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: So the guy punts the ball, I pick up the ball, and I'm going to throw the guy out at first base.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: So I pick up the ball and throw it to who?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Now that's the first thing you've said right.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: I don't even know what I'm talking about!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
<audience laughter>

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: But that's, that all you have...
Abbott: That's all I do is I throw the ball to first base.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Now who's got it?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Naturally.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Now you've got it.
Abbott: If I throw the ball to first base somebody's got to get the ball.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Now who's got it?
Costello: Naturally!
Abbott: Who?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Naturally.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
<laughter>

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Naturally?
Costello: Naturally.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to 'Naturally'. He gets...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: No, no, no...
Abbott: Naturally get's the ball...and...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: You've thrown the ball to first base.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott:Then who gets it?
Costello: Naturally.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: No! No.
Abbott: That's who gets the ball..and...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: You throw the ball to Who.
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Naturally.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: That's what I'm saying!
Costello: You're not saying it that way!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: I said 'I throw the ball to Naturally'!
Costello: No you don't!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: I throw it to who?
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: That's what I'm saying!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: I throw the ball to first base somebody's got to get it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: So Who get's it.
Abbott: Naturally...Okay!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Now I ask you, who gets it?
Costello: Naturally.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Same as you!
Costello: No it's not!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: I throw the ball to naturally.
Costello: You throw the ball to Who.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Then who gets it?
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: He better get it!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: So I throw the ball to first base, and whoever it is drops the ball,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and the guy runs to second.


99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Now Who picks up the ball throws it to What.


99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
What throws it to I Don't Know, I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
triple play.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Could be.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: Another guy gets up and hits a long flyball to Because.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Yes.
Abbott: Why. I don't know. He's on third,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Abbott: And I don't give a darn!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
<laughter>

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: What'd you say?
Abbott: I said I don't give a darn.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Costello: Oh, that's our shortstop.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
<laughter and applause>