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I'm coming off the Acropolis

2
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to start some pandemonium

3
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don't bring limp raps

4
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to a pimp slap symposium

5
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the mad gadfly

6
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philosophy was my invention

7
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rolling with the flyest nihilist

8
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and me, their French henchman

9
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we've got the wisdom

10
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that even I couldn't question

11
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dropping Western medicine

12
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on these East infections!

13
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It's evident,

14
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you've never been

15
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our type of mental brethren

16
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we're better thinkers,

17
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better speakers,

18
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better lovers,

19
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better men!

20
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This type of arrogance

21
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is sure to be expected

22
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from men who speak of wisdom

23
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with no clue of what respect is

24
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you Westerners are sloppy

25
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needing discipline in life

26
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you lack control of yourselves

27
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and of the mic

28
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while we use precise strikes

29
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to disrupt your concentration

30
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hand you an ass whipping

31
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our descendants

32
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will honour for generations

33
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we filled a nation

34
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with patience

35
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and the prescence

36
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for living

37
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and you'll never hold a candle

38
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to the wisdom

39
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we've

40
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written!

41
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Oh, I'll give you something

42
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you can bow and kowtow to

43
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when I squat down and squeeze out

44
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a Tao of Pooh and Lao Tzu

45
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you need to take control

46
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of the life you're given

47
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call me Übermensch

48
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'cause I'm so driven!

49
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And I'm a free thinker,

50
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so, confronting conformists like you,

51
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it's my job

52
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got a sharp whip, like a spit

53
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that'll skewer you

54
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like a Confu-shish kebab

55
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oh, you flubbed the mission

56
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I'm beating your submissive ass

57
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into submission

58
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dishing out more disses

59
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than letters and pamphlets and plays

60
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I’ve been publishing!

61
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Now that we've covered the two

62
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Yin and Yang twins,

63
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I can move on to Jackie Chan

64
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Sun Tzu, I'll be picking apart your Wu

65
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with my method, man

66
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the seminal general

67
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isn't so tough on the mic

68
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all your men must be like

69
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"Yo, what happened?"

70
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you're pitiful lyrically

71
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lucky for history

72
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you didn't author the Art of Rapping!

73
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Bitch, I wrote the Art of War,

74
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so you better get your guns out

75
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these white boys getting burned

76
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'cause, guess what?

77
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Now the Sun's out

78
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Asians spitting sick,

79
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but no, this isn't SARS,

80
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Laozi, kick the beat,

81
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now, Confucius, drop some bars!

82
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Let me be Candide with you Voltaire,

83
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French dip with the egg noodle hair,

84
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your ego's just distracting

85
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free speech doesn't mean just keep yapping

86
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and you killed God so I gotta ask,

87
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did he die of shame

88
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when he made your moustache?

89
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You tried to plant a new German psyche

90
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but you just grew hate,

91
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me no Third Reichy!

92
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And it all starts with you,

93
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you're the father, Socrates,

94
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honestly, I think you owe

95
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both of your students here an apology.

96
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I wouldn't exactly call myself

97
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a student of this plebe,

98
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don't make Nietzsche come over

99
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and put a knee up in your chi!

100
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'Cause I'm

101
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N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E

102
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and I'll end any motherfucker

103
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like my name in a spelling bee!

104
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Plebe, bitch?

105
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I'm toxic like a hemlock sip!

106
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Hang a sandal on the door,

107
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'Cause you can suck Soc's dick!

108
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Sacré bleu, Socrates!

109
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You're making things a little tense,

110
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come, let's blind these Chinese heinies

111
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with some shiny bright enlightenment!

112
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I'll not be taught camaraderie

113
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from a frog who rigged the lottery!

114
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You make a mockery of ethics

115
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so keep your fat nose in your coffee!

116
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Let me be frank,

117
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don't start beef with the Frank,

118
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who hangs with B. Franks,

119
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giving ladies beef franks!

120
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I have turned them on themselves,

121
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their chaos is our opportunity!

122
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We must remember,

123
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a bowl is most useful when it is empty.

124
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Argh, Laozi, I don't mean no disrespect,

125
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but you need to fill your bowl

126
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with some shit that makes some sense!

127
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Oh, you don't wanna stand

128
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in the path of Lao Tzu today,

129
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I'll make you move, bitch,

130
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get out the way!

131
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Yo, where in the tradition

132
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of rap battles is it written

133
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that two dudes on the same team

134
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should squabble

135
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like some clucking chickens?

136
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Man, Confucius,

137
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you always try to put

138
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something in its place

139
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why don't you tell your eyebrows

140
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they need to fit better on your face!

141
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Okay, I see,

142
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you wanna make it like that?

143
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I'll smack that warmongering head

144
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out of your to-go box hat

145
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so here's the real golden rule,

146
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I'm way above you weak rookies

147
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Confucius say:

148
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"You can all hold these fortune cookies!"

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What is winning?

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Who is next?

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You decide!