I'm coming off the Acropolis
to start some pandemonium
don't bring limp raps
to a pimp slap symposium
the mad gadfly
philosophy was my invention
rolling with the flyest nihilist
and me their French henchman
we've got the wisdom
and the wit
that even I couldn't question
dropping Western medicine
on these East infections
it's evident
you've never been
our type of mental brethren
we're better thinkers
better speakers
better lovers
better men
This type of arrogance
is sure to be expected
from men who speak of wisdom
with no clue of what respect is
you Westerners are sloppy
needing discipline in life
you lack control of yourselves
and of the mic
while we use precise strikes
to disrupt your concentration
hand you an ass whipping
our descendants
will honor for generations
we filled a nation
with patience
and the presence
for living
and you'll never hold a candle
to the wisdom
we've
written
Oh, I'll give you something
you can bow and kowtow to
when I squat down and squeeze out
a Tao of Pooh on Lao Tzu
you need to take control
of the life you're given
they call me Ubermensch
cause I'm so driven
and I'm a free thinker
so confronting conformists like you
it's my job
got a sharp wit like a spit
that'll skewer you
like a Confu-shish kebab
you flubbed the mission
I'm beating your submissive ass
into submission
dishing out more disses
than letters and pamphlets and plays
I've been publishing
now that we've covered the two
Yin and Yang twins
I can move on to Jackie Chan
Sun Tzu I'll be picking apart your Wu
with my method, man
the seminal general
isn't so tough on the mic
all your men must be like
yo what happened?
you're pitiful lyrically
lucky for history
you didn't author The Art of Rapping
Bitch I wrote the Art of War
so you better get your guns out
these white boys getting burned
cause guess what
now the Sun's out
Asians spitting sick
but no this isn't SARS
Laozi kick the beat
now Confucius drop some bars
let me be Candide with you Voltaire
French drip with the egg noodle hair
your ego's just so distracting
free speech doesn't mean just keep yapping
and you killed God so I gotta ask
did he die of shame
when he made your mustache?
you tried to plant a new German psyche
but you just grew hate
me no Third Reichy
and it all starts with you
you're the father Socrates
honestly I think you owe
both of your students here an apology
I wouldn't exactly call myself
a student of this plebe
don't make Nietzsche come over
and put a knee up in your chi
cause I'm
N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E
and I'll end any mother fucker
like my name in a spelling bee
plebe bitch?
I'm toxic like a hemlock sip
hang a sandal on the door
cause you can suck Soc's dick
sacré bleu Socrates
you're making things a little tense
come let's blind these Chinese heinies
with some shiny bright enlightenment
I'll not be taught camaraderie
from a frog who rigged the lottery
you make a mockery of ethics
so keep your fat nose in your coffee
let me be frank
don't start beef with the Frank
who hangs with B. Franks
giving ladies beef franks
I have turned them on themselves
their chaos is our opportunity
we must remember
a bowl is most useful when it is empty
Laozi I don't mean no disrespect
but you need to fill your bowl
with some shit that makes some sense
oh you don't wanna stand
in the path of Lao Tzu today
I'll make you move bitch
get out the way
yo, where in the tradition
of rap battles is it written
that two dudes on the same team
should squabble
like some clucking chickens
man Confucius
you always try to put
something in its place
why don't you tell your eyebrows
they need to fit better on your face
okay I see
you wanna make it like that?
I'll smack that warmongering head
out of your to go box hat
so here's the real golden rule
I'm way above you weak rookies
Confucius say
you can all hold these fortune cookies
What is winning?
Who is next?
You decide