(Graham) So what was the story about you
at the wedding? Was it a .... did you have
a gay wedding?
(Cher) Yes (Laughing) Oh my god! Yes.
Right, I went through my idea of hell, going
to gay wedding at a country club in the
Valley, and, well, it turned out ...
(Graham) Can I just say you there makes it
the gayest wedding in the world!
(Cher) Oh, yes, it was, but then, I was
coming out of the bathroom, and I was
talking to my friend, and this woman comes
running after me: "Miss! Miss! Miss!"
"Er... yeah?", and she said, "Do you have
a card?" And I'm thinking, 'No, I don't,
no!' And she said, "Because you are the
best one I have ever seen!"
(Everyone laughs, audience claps)
(Dawn) But it's true! It's true!
(Cher) "But I'm having a party. Do you
have a card?", and I went, "No, I don't",
and then she went, "Oh my god, I'm so
embarrassed!", and that was that. And then
I went out and was gay with my friends.
(Graham) And, er, Dawn French here, she
too has a lookalike.
(Dawn) Oh.... Do I? Do I? Is this ... bad?
(Graham) So, there's this show here, the
X Factor,
(Dawn) Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah....
(Graham) and there was a woman called...
It was bizarre what they did though! So
this nice woman, Mary Bird, she's a....
she works in a Tesco supermarket, she can
belt out a tune, she's great. So this is
what she looked like when she entered the
competition, and then when she got to the
live shows, they gave her a makeover.
(Audience laughs)
(Graham) It's bizarre!
Isn't that weird?
(Dawn) But she looks great!
(Graham) But you think, someone must have
said, "Isn't that a bit like Dawn French?"
Just a little bit?"