1
00:00:00,167 --> 00:00:01,249
(Graham) So what was the story about you

2
00:00:01,379 --> 00:00:02,402
at the wedding? Was it a .... did you have

3
00:00:02,476 --> 00:00:03,802
a gay wedding?

4
00:00:04,042 --> 00:00:05,879
(Cher) Yes (Laughing) Oh my god! Yes.

5
00:00:06,649 --> 00:00:09,723
Right, I went through my idea of hell, going

6
00:00:09,723 --> 00:00:11,628
to gay wedding at a country club in the

7
00:00:11,628 --> 00:00:13,871
Valley, and, well, it turned out ...

8
00:00:13,871 --> 00:00:15,651
(Graham) Can I just say you there makes it

9
00:00:15,651 --> 00:00:17,582
the gayest wedding in the world!

10
00:00:17,602 --> 00:00:19,598
(Cher) Oh, yes, it was, but then, I was

11
00:00:19,698 --> 00:00:21,448
coming out of the bathroom, and I was

12
00:00:21,448 --> 00:00:23,304
talking to my friend, and this woman comes

13
00:00:23,304 --> 00:00:26,265
running after me: "Miss! Miss! Miss!"

14
00:00:26,345 --> 00:00:28,268
"Er... yeah?", and she said, "Do you have

15
00:00:28,288 --> 00:00:31,251
a card?" And I'm thinking, 'No, I don't,

16
00:00:31,511 --> 00:00:33,872
no!' And she said, "Because you are the

17
00:00:33,922 --> 00:00:36,330
best one I have ever seen!"

18
00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:38,535
(Everyone laughs, audience claps)

19
00:00:38,655 --> 00:00:39,580
(Dawn) But it's true! It's true!

20
00:00:41,140 --> 00:00:43,897
(Cher) "But I'm having a party. Do you

21
00:00:43,897 --> 00:00:46,973
have a card?", and I went, "No, I don't",

22
00:00:46,973 --> 00:00:48,363
and then she went, "Oh my god, I'm so

23
00:00:48,363 --> 00:00:50,059
embarrassed!", and that was that. And then

24
00:00:50,059 --> 00:00:52,401
I went out and was gay with my friends.

25
00:00:52,401 --> 00:00:55,002
(Graham) And, er, Dawn French here, she

26
00:00:55,002 --> 00:00:56,395
too has a lookalike.

27
00:00:56,395 --> 00:00:59,737
(Dawn) Oh.... Do I? Do I? Is this ... bad?

28
00:00:59,847 --> 00:01:01,503
(Graham) So, there's this show here, the

29
00:01:01,533 --> 00:01:02,194
X Factor,

30
00:01:02,274 --> 00:01:03,175
(Dawn) Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah....

31
00:01:03,285 --> 00:01:04,481
(Graham) and there was a woman called...

32
00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:05,907
It was bizarre what they did though! So

33
00:01:06,477 --> 00:01:07,886
this nice woman, Mary Bird, she's a....

34
00:01:08,146 --> 00:01:11,552
she works in a Tesco supermarket, she can

35
00:01:11,552 --> 00:01:13,450
belt out a tune, she's great. So this is

36
00:01:13,450 --> 00:01:15,200
what she looked like when she entered the

37
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:16,841
competition, and then when she got to the

38
00:01:16,841 --> 00:01:20,032
live shows, they gave her a makeover.

39
00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:23,686
(Audience laughs)

40
00:01:23,916 --> 00:01:24,688
(Graham) It's bizarre!

41
00:01:30,688 --> 00:01:32,139
Isn't that weird?

42
00:01:32,159 --> 00:01:33,829
(Dawn) But she looks great!

43
00:01:33,989 --> 00:01:35,569
(Graham) But you think, someone must have

44
00:01:35,569 --> 00:01:37,844
said, "Isn't that a bit like Dawn French?"

45
00:01:39,294 --> 00:01:41,088
Just a little bit?"