(Graham) So what was the story about you

at the wedding? Was it a .... did you have

a gay wedding?

(Cher) Yes (Laughing) Oh my god! Yes.

Right, I went through my idea of hell, going

to gay wedding at a country club in the

Valley, and, well, it turned out ...

(Graham) Can I just say you there makes it

the gayest wedding in the world!

(Cher) Oh, yes, it was, but then, I was

coming out of the bathroom, and I was

talking to my friend, and this woman comes

running after me: "Miss! Miss! Miss!"

"Er... yeah?", and she said, "Do you have

a card?" And I'm thinking, 'No, I don't,

no!' And she said, "Because you are the

best one I have ever seen!"

(Everyone laughs, audience claps)

(Dawn) But it's true! It's true!

(Cher) "But I'm having a party. Do you

have a card?", and I went, "No, I don't",

and then she went, "Oh my god, I'm so

embarrassed!", and that was that. And then

I went out and was gay with my friends.

(Graham) And, er, Dawn French here, she

too has a lookalike.

(Dawn) Oh.... Do I? Do I? Is this ... bad?

(Graham) So, there's this show here, the

X Factor,

(Dawn) Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah....

(Graham) and there was a woman called...

It was bizarre what they did though! So

this nice woman, Mary Bird, she's a....

she works in a Tesco supermarket, she can

belt out a tune, she's great. So this is

what she looked like when she entered the

competition, and then when she got to the

live shows, they gave her a makeover.

(Audience laughs)

(Graham) It's bizarre!

Isn't that weird?

(Dawn) But she looks great!

(Graham) But you think, someone must have

said, "Isn't that a bit like Dawn French?"

Just a little bit?"