WEBVTT

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(Graham) So what was the story about you

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at the wedding? Was it a .... did you have

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a gay wedding?

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(Cher) Yes (Laughing) Oh my god! Yes.

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Right, I went through my idea of hell, going

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to gay wedding at a country club in the

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Valley, and, well, it turned out ...

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(Graham) Can I just say you there makes it

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the gayest wedding in the world!

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(Cher) Oh, yes, it was, but then, I was

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coming out of the bathroom, and I was

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talking to my friend, and this woman comes

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running after me: "Miss! Miss! Miss!"

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"Er... yeah?", and she said, "Do you have

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a card?" And I'm thinking, 'No, I don't,

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no!' And she said, "Because you are the

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best one I have ever seen!"

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(Everyone laughs, audience claps)

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(Dawn) But it's true! It's true!

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(Cher) "But I'm having a party. Do you

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have a card?", and I went, "No, I don't",

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and then she went, "Oh my god, I'm so

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embarrassed!", and that was that. And then

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I went out and was gay with my friends.

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(Graham) And, er, Dawn French here, she

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too has a lookalike.

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(Dawn) Oh.... Do I? Do I? Is this ... bad?

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(Graham) So, there's this show here, the

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X Factor,

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(Dawn) Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah....

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(Graham) and there was a woman called...

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It was bizarre what they did though! So

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this nice woman, Mary Bird, she's a....

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she works in a Tesco supermarket, she can

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belt out a tune, she's great. So this is

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what she looked like when she entered the

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competition, and then when she got to the

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live shows, they gave her a makeover.

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(Audience laughs)

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(Graham) It's bizarre!

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Isn't that weird?

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(Dawn) But she looks great!

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(Graham) But you think, someone must have

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said, "Isn't that a bit like Dawn French?"

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Just a little bit?"