1
00:00:00,635 --> 00:00:02,440
-What's happening, guys?

2
00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:04,714
Man I worked in retail for a really long time

3
00:00:04,714 --> 00:00:06,083
and I can honestly say,

4
00:00:06,083 --> 00:00:07,686
this has never happened to me.

5
00:00:21,363 --> 00:00:22,836
Yeah, step into my office.

6
00:00:22,836 --> 00:00:23,618
"Why?"

7
00:00:23,634 --> 00:00:25,143
'Cause you're f--king fired.

8
00:00:25,143 --> 00:00:27,014
No, this video is older than Jesus,

9
00:00:27,014 --> 00:00:28,920
but it recently became popular again,

10
00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:33,103
which suggests that one of those viral video websites probably re-posted it.

11
00:00:33,103 --> 00:00:33,839
And I don't get it.

12
00:00:33,839 --> 00:00:36,479
It seems to me that you can just put the truck in reverse

13
00:00:36,479 --> 00:00:38,619
and all the carts would just stack back up.

14
00:00:38,619 --> 00:00:39,889
See? Problem solved.

15
00:00:39,889 --> 00:00:42,748
Yeah, I should totally be working at Target.

16
00:00:42,748 --> 00:00:44,167
And if you look at the guys there,

17
00:00:44,167 --> 00:00:45,939
they know they're f--ked.

18
00:00:45,939 --> 00:00:48,452
You know at that point where you know you're gonna get fired,

19
00:00:48,452 --> 00:00:51,200
you should just walk into your boss's office and punch him in the face like,

20
00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:52,864
"Fuck you, I'm working at Walmart."

21
00:00:52,864 --> 00:00:54,590
I mean, you're gonna get fired anyway,

22
00:00:54,590 --> 00:00:55,751
why not?

23
00:00:55,751 --> 00:00:59,316
So admittedly, sometimes the humor on this show gets a little lowbrow.

24
00:00:59,316 --> 00:01:01,733
And I'd like to spice it up a little bit by reviewing a video

25
00:01:01,733 --> 00:01:03,800
by the San Francisco Academy of Sciences.

26
00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:05,639
It's just these penguins, right.

27
00:01:05,639 --> 00:01:07,408
And they're swimming around, right.

28
00:01:07,408 --> 00:01:08,847
And then...what the hell?

29
00:01:08,847 --> 00:01:09,717
Did he just fart?

30
00:01:09,717 --> 00:01:10,853
Are you serious?

31
00:01:10,853 --> 00:01:12,157
That did not just happen.

32
00:01:12,157 --> 00:01:13,305
Birds don't fart.

33
00:01:13,305 --> 00:01:14,196
They're like women.

34
00:01:14,196 --> 00:01:15,533
I don't care if you are a penguin.

35
00:01:15,533 --> 00:01:17,912
You just can't go crop dusting in the fish tank.

36
00:01:17,912 --> 00:01:19,985
-I'ma turn this pool into a jacuzzi.

37
00:01:19,985 --> 00:01:21,188
[farts] Haha.

38
00:01:21,188 --> 00:01:22,659
-Aww, that's nasty.

39
00:01:22,659 --> 00:01:23,801
-What? Eww.

40
00:01:23,801 --> 00:01:24,531
Safety.

41
00:01:24,531 --> 00:01:27,748
And I guess you noticed that the other penguin went ahead and moved out of the way.

42
00:01:27,748 --> 00:01:31,517
Now, the person who sent me this video said that they're from the San Francisco Academy of Sciences,

43
00:01:31,517 --> 00:01:32,686
but I don't think they were.

44
00:01:32,686 --> 00:01:37,472
But I do think it's funny that the Academy of Sciences are the ones who posted this on YouTube.

45
00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:40,480
Our studies suggest that even among penguins,

46
00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:43,221
he who smelt it, dealt it.

47
00:01:43,221 --> 00:01:46,731
By the way, you can never not watch this show now.

48
00:01:46,731 --> 00:01:50,815
Katie Couric ain't gonna show you footage of a penguin busting ass, would she?

49
00:01:50,815 --> 00:01:52,386
Anyway, onto the next one.

50
00:01:52,386 --> 00:01:53,523
The big video this week.

51
00:01:53,523 --> 00:01:54,893
There's this cat here

52
00:01:54,893 --> 00:01:57,667
and there are these crows and they keep f--king with him.

53
00:01:57,667 --> 00:02:00,488
And if that isn't bad enough, this other cat rolls up.

54
00:02:08,026 --> 00:02:14,086
[dramatic music playing]

55
00:02:17,532 --> 00:02:19,466
Now these poor cats fight for like half an hour,

56
00:02:19,466 --> 00:02:20,676
well like two minutes,

57
00:02:20,676 --> 00:02:23,012
but still these crows are still f--kin' with him.

58
00:02:25,874 --> 00:02:27,228
What are those birds doing?

59
00:02:27,228 --> 00:02:28,665
Are they like instigating the fight?

60
00:02:28,665 --> 00:02:29,735
Quoth the Raven.

61
00:02:29,735 --> 00:02:30,904
Kick his ass!

62
00:02:30,904 --> 00:02:33,077
Or maybe this is the newest version of Angry Birds

63
00:02:33,077 --> 00:02:35,656
where the birds just say F--k it and let the cats fight it out.

64
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:38,297
I dont' know, but these crows are like that kid who's at every fight

65
00:02:38,297 --> 00:02:40,771
but who isn't actually in the fight and he's like,

66
00:02:40,771 --> 00:02:43,260
"Ooh, are you gonna let him talk to you that way?"

67
00:02:43,260 --> 00:02:44,949
Yeah, you all know that kid.

68
00:02:44,949 --> 00:02:46,119
F--k that kid.

69
00:02:46,119 --> 00:02:47,991
No, but here's the thing, watching these cats fight

70
00:02:47,991 --> 00:02:49,528
I mean, I admit, it's kinda funny.

71
00:02:52,913 --> 00:02:55,852
Especially since someone added that awesome soundtrack.

72
00:02:55,852 --> 00:02:58,167
"You mean those sounds don't just occur in nature?"

73
00:02:58,167 --> 00:03:00,866
No, someone added it and it clearly adds a lot to the video.

74
00:03:00,866 --> 00:03:02,303
All right, so the video's funny

75
00:03:02,303 --> 00:03:04,018
I mean, look at this move here.

76
00:03:04,018 --> 00:03:05,111
[karate yells]

77
00:03:05,111 --> 00:03:07,269
But come on, don't just stand there and film it.

78
00:03:07,269 --> 00:03:08,593
If you see two cats fightin',

79
00:03:08,593 --> 00:03:10,063
go and break that s--t up.

80
00:03:10,063 --> 00:03:12,303
Don't just stand there and let them fight the piss out of each other.

81
00:03:12,303 --> 00:03:13,941
Get a broom or a water hose.

82
00:03:13,941 --> 00:03:15,813
Break it up, come on.

83
00:03:15,813 --> 00:03:18,520
There it is, there's my public service announcement for the millennium.

84
00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:20,922
If you see a cat fight,

85
00:03:20,922 --> 00:03:22,862
break that s--t up.

86
00:03:25,554 --> 00:03:26,582
All right, that was dumb.

87
00:03:26,582 --> 00:03:28,678
I'll just move on to the comment question of the day,

88
00:03:28,678 --> 00:03:30,582
which comes from a dude named, bam!,

89
00:03:30,582 --> 00:03:31,429
and he said...

90
00:03:31,429 --> 00:03:32,632
-My comment question of the day is,

91
00:03:32,632 --> 00:03:34,576
why would you destroy the world?

92
00:03:34,576 --> 00:03:36,309
-So, why would you destroy the world?

93
00:03:36,309 --> 00:03:39,457
Leave your interesting or creative responses in the comment section below,

94
00:03:39,457 --> 00:03:41,495
or on Facebook or Twitter.

95
00:03:41,495 --> 00:03:43,353
But thanks for watching today's episode of =3.

96
00:03:43,353 --> 00:03:45,406
I'm Ray William Johnson and I approve this message.

97
00:03:45,406 --> 00:03:46,476
So tell me guys,

98
00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:47,612
what's your holiday?

99
00:03:47,612 --> 00:03:54,438
[Stalkin' Your Mom by Wax playing]

100
00:03:54,438 --> 00:03:58,984
Captioned by SpongeSebastian

101
00:04:19,507 --> 00:04:21,387
This move here.

102
00:04:21,387 --> 00:04:22,372
[karate yells]