WEBVTT

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-What's happening, guys?

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Man I worked in retail for a really long time

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and I can honestly say,

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this has never happened to me.

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Yeah, step into my office.

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"Why?"

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'Cause you're f--king fired.

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No, this video is older than Jesus,

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but it recently became popular again,

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which suggests that one of those viral video websites probably re-posted it.

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And I don't get it.

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It seems to me that you can just put the truck in reverse

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and all the carts would just stack back up.

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See? Problem solved.

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Yeah, I should totally be working at Target.

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And if you look at the guys there,

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they know they're f--ked.

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You know at that point where you know you're gonna get fired,

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you should just walk into your boss's office and punch him in the face like,

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"Fuck you, I'm working at Walmart."

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I mean, you're gonna get fired anyway,

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why not?

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So admittedly, sometimes the humor on this show gets a little lowbrow.

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And I'd like to spice it up a little bit by reviewing a video

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by the San Francisco Academy of Sciences.

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It's just these penguins, right.

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And they're swimming around, right.

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And then...what the hell?

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Did he just fart?

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Are you serious?

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That did not just happen.

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Birds don't fart.

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They're like women.

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I don't care if you are a penguin.

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You just can't go crop dusting in the fish tank.

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-I'ma turn this pool into a jacuzzi.

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[farts] Haha.

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-Aww, that's nasty.

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-What? Eww.

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Safety.

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And I guess you noticed that the other penguin went ahead and moved out of the way.

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Now, the person who sent me this video said that they're from the San Francisco Academy of Sciences,

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but I don't think they were.

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But I do think it's funny that the Academy of Sciences are the ones who posted this on YouTube.

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Our studies suggest that even among penguins,

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he who smelt it, dealt it.

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By the way, you can never not watch this show now.

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Katie Couric ain't gonna show you footage of a penguin busting ass, would she?

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Anyway, onto the next one.

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The big video this week.

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There's this cat here

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and there are these crows and they keep f--king with him.

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And if that isn't bad enough, this other cat rolls up.

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[dramatic music playing]

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Now these poor cats fight for like half an hour,

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well like two minutes,

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but still these crows are still f--kin' with him.

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What are those birds doing?

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Are they like instigating the fight?

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Quoth the Raven.

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Kick his ass!

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Or maybe this is the newest version of Angry Birds

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where the birds just say F--k it and let the cats fight it out.

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I dont' know, but these crows are like that kid who's at every fight

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but who isn't actually in the fight and he's like,

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"Ooh, are you gonna let him talk to you that way?"

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Yeah, you all know that kid.

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F--k that kid.

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No, but here's the thing, watching these cats fight

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I mean, I admit, it's kinda funny.

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Especially since someone added that awesome soundtrack.

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"You mean those sounds don't just occur in nature?"

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No, someone added it and it clearly adds a lot to the video.

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All right, so the video's funny

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I mean, look at this move here.

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[karate yells]

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But come on, don't just stand there and film it.

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If you see two cats fightin',

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go and break that s--t up.

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Don't just stand there and let them fight the piss out of each other.

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Get a broom or a water hose.

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Break it up, come on.

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There it is, there's my public service announcement for the millennium.

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If you see a cat fight,

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break that s--t up.

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All right, that was dumb.

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I'll just move on to the comment question of the day,

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which comes from a dude named, bam!,

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and he said...

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-My comment question of the day is,

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why would you destroy the world?

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-So, why would you destroy the world?

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Leave your interesting or creative responses in the comment section below,

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or on Facebook or Twitter.

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But thanks for watching today's episode of =3.

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I'm Ray William Johnson and I approve this message.

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So tell me guys,

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what's your holiday?

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[Stalkin' Your Mom by Wax playing]

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Captioned by SpongeSebastian

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This move here.

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[karate yells]