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(Exhale)

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My name is Simone.

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You know how people tell you

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if you get nervous when on stage,

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picture people in the audience naked.

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Like it's this thing that's supposed
to make you feel better.

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But I was thinking --

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picturing all of you naked in 2018
feels kind of weird and wrong.

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Like we're working really hard
on moving past stuff like that,

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so we need a new method of dealing with
if you get nervous on stage.

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And I realized that what I'd really like

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is that I can look at you as much
as you're looking at me --

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just to even things out a little bit.

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So if I had way more eyeballs,

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then we'd all be really
comfortable, right?

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So in preparation for this talk,

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I made myself a shirt.

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(Laughter)

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It's googly eyes.

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It took be 14 hours

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and 227 googly eyes to make this shirt,

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and being able to look at you
as much as you're looking at me

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is actually only half
of the reason I made this.

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The other half is being able to do this.

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(Shirt shakes)

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(Laughter)

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So I do a lot of things like this.

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I see a problem and I invent
some sort of solution to it.

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For example,

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brushing your teeth.