(Exhale)
My name is Simone.
You know how people tell you
if you get nervous when on stage,
picture people in the audience naked.
Like it's this thing that's supposed to make you feel better.
But I was thinking --
picturing all of you naked in 2018 feels kind of weird and wrong.
Like we're working really hard on moving past stuff like that,
so we need a new method of dealing with if you get nervous on stage.
And I realized that what I'd really like
is that I can look at you as much as you're looking at me --
just to even things out a little bit.
So if I had way more eyeballs,
then we'd all be really comfortable, right?
So in preparation for this talk,
I made myself a shirt.
(Laughter)
It's googly eyes.
It took be 14 hours
and 227 googly eyes to make this shirt,
and being able to look at you as much as you're looking at me
is actually only half of the reason I made this.
The other half is being able to do this.
(Shirt shakes)
(Laughter)
So I do a lot of things like this.
I see a problem and I invent some sort of solution to it.
For example,
brushing your teeth.