WEBVTT 00:00:01.720 --> 00:00:03.096 Hello. 00:00:03.120 --> 00:00:04.320 My name is Simone. 00:00:05.280 --> 00:00:08.576 You know how people tell you if you get nervous when onstage, 00:00:08.600 --> 00:00:11.096 picture people in the audience naked? 00:00:11.120 --> 00:00:14.496 Like it's this thing that's supposed to make you feel better. 00:00:14.520 --> 00:00:15.776 But I was thinking -- 00:00:15.800 --> 00:00:21.216 picturing all of you naked in 2018 feels kind of weird and wrong. 00:00:21.240 --> 00:00:24.256 Like, we're working really hard on moving past stuff like that, 00:00:24.280 --> 00:00:26.896 so we need a new method of dealing with 00:00:26.920 --> 00:00:29.056 if you get nervous onstage. 00:00:29.080 --> 00:00:31.216 And I realized that what I'd really like 00:00:31.240 --> 00:00:35.296 is that I can look at you as much as you're looking at me -- 00:00:35.320 --> 00:00:37.736 just to even things out a little bit. 00:00:37.760 --> 00:00:40.496 So if I had way more eyeballs, 00:00:40.520 --> 00:00:43.296 then we'd all be really comfortable, right? 00:00:43.320 --> 00:00:47.056 So in preparation for this talk, I made myself a shirt. NOTE Paragraph 00:00:47.230 --> 00:00:50.230 (Rattling) NOTE Paragraph 00:00:53.000 --> 00:00:54.920 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:00:57.800 --> 00:01:00.776 It's googly eyes. 00:01:00.800 --> 00:01:02.896 It took me 14 hours 00:01:02.920 --> 00:01:06.616 and 227 googly eyes to make this shirt. 00:01:06.640 --> 00:01:09.696 And being able to look at you as much as you're looking at me 00:01:09.720 --> 00:01:12.216 is actually only half of the reason I made this. 00:01:12.240 --> 00:01:14.176 The other half is being able to do this. NOTE Paragraph 00:01:14.200 --> 00:01:15.536 (Googly eyes rattle) NOTE Paragraph 00:01:15.560 --> 00:01:16.816 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:01:16.840 --> 00:01:18.576 So I do a lot of things like this. 00:01:18.600 --> 00:01:22.416 I see a problem and I invent some sort of solution to it. 00:01:22.440 --> 00:01:24.256 For example, brushing your teeth. 00:01:24.280 --> 00:01:27.216 Like, it's this thing we all have to do, it's kind of boring, 00:01:27.240 --> 00:01:29.336 and nobody really likes it. 00:01:29.360 --> 00:01:31.736 If there were any seven-year-olds in the audience, 00:01:31.760 --> 00:01:34.256 they'd be like, "Yes!" 00:01:34.280 --> 00:01:37.120 So what about if you had a machine that could do it for you? NOTE Paragraph 00:01:42.800 --> 00:01:45.920 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:01:46.720 --> 00:01:47.960 I call it ... 00:01:50.360 --> 00:01:52.320 I call it "The Toothbrush Helmet." NOTE Paragraph 00:01:53.000 --> 00:01:55.680 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:01:57.480 --> 00:02:00.216 (Robot arm buzzing) NOTE Paragraph 00:02:00.240 --> 00:02:03.456 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:02:03.480 --> 00:02:06.976 (Applause) NOTE Paragraph 00:02:07.000 --> 00:02:11.536 So my toothbrush helmet is recommended by zero out of 10 dentists, 00:02:11.560 --> 00:02:15.736 and it definitely did not revolutionize the world of dentistry, 00:02:15.760 --> 00:02:18.936 but it did completely change my life. 00:02:18.960 --> 00:02:22.416 Because I finished making this toothbrush helmet three years ago 00:02:22.440 --> 00:02:23.976 and after I finished making it, 00:02:24.000 --> 00:02:26.656 I went into my living room and I put up a camera, 00:02:26.680 --> 00:02:29.160 and I filmed a seven-second clip of it working. 00:02:29.760 --> 00:02:30.976 And by now, 00:02:31.000 --> 00:02:33.896 this is a pretty standard modern-day fairy tale 00:02:33.920 --> 00:02:36.136 of girl posting on the internet, 00:02:36.160 --> 00:02:38.736 the internet takes the girl by storm, 00:02:38.760 --> 00:02:41.576 thousands of men voyage into the comment sections 00:02:41.600 --> 00:02:43.296 to ask for her hand in marriage -- NOTE Paragraph 00:02:43.320 --> 00:02:44.336 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:02:44.360 --> 00:02:46.696 She ignores all of them, starts a YouTube channel 00:02:46.720 --> 00:02:48.360 and keeps on building robots. 00:02:49.120 --> 00:02:53.056 Since then, I've carved out this little niche for myself on the internet 00:02:53.080 --> 00:02:55.576 as an inventor of useless machines, 00:02:55.600 --> 00:02:57.256 because as we all know, 00:02:57.280 --> 00:03:00.936 the easiest way to be at the top of your field 00:03:00.960 --> 00:03:03.056 is to choose a very small field. NOTE Paragraph 00:03:03.080 --> 00:03:05.296 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:03:05.320 --> 00:03:09.656 (Applause) NOTE Paragraph 00:03:09.680 --> 00:03:12.856 So I run a YouTube channel about my machines, 00:03:12.880 --> 00:03:15.656 and I've done things like cutting hair with drones -- NOTE Paragraph 00:03:15.680 --> 00:03:17.376 (Drone buzzes) NOTE Paragraph 00:03:17.400 --> 00:03:19.776 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:03:19.800 --> 00:03:20.856 (Drone crashes) NOTE Paragraph 00:03:20.880 --> 00:03:22.296 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:03:22.320 --> 00:03:23.416 (Drone buzzes) NOTE Paragraph 00:03:23.440 --> 00:03:25.336 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:03:25.360 --> 00:03:27.456 (Applause) NOTE Paragraph 00:03:27.480 --> 00:03:30.216 To a machine that helps me wake up in the morning -- NOTE Paragraph 00:03:30.240 --> 00:03:32.176 (Alarm) NOTE Paragraph 00:03:32.200 --> 00:03:34.600 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:03:37.200 --> 00:03:38.936 (Video) Simone: Ow! NOTE Paragraph 00:03:38.960 --> 00:03:41.536 To this machine that helps me chop vegetables. NOTE Paragraph 00:03:41.560 --> 00:03:44.000 (Knives chop) NOTE Paragraph 00:03:45.200 --> 00:03:46.456 I'm not an engineer. 00:03:46.480 --> 00:03:48.816 I did not study engineering in school. 00:03:48.840 --> 00:03:52.416 But I was a super ambitious student growing up. 00:03:52.440 --> 00:03:54.936 In middle school and high school, I had straight A's, 00:03:54.960 --> 00:03:57.176 and I graduated at the top of my year. 00:03:57.200 --> 00:03:58.456 On the flip side of that, 00:03:58.480 --> 00:04:02.176 I struggled with very severe performance anxiety. 00:04:02.200 --> 00:04:05.216 Here's an email I sent to my brother around that time. 00:04:05.240 --> 00:04:08.136 "You won't understand how difficult it is for me to tell you, 00:04:08.160 --> 00:04:09.376 to confess this. 00:04:09.400 --> 00:04:10.776 I'm so freaking embarrassed. 00:04:10.800 --> 00:04:13.016 I don't want people to think that I'm stupid. 00:04:13.040 --> 00:04:14.616 Now I'm starting to cry too. 00:04:14.640 --> 00:04:16.096 Damn." 00:04:16.120 --> 00:04:19.656 And no, I did not accidentally burn our parents' house down. 00:04:19.680 --> 00:04:23.976 The thing I'm writing about in the email and the thing I'm so upset about 00:04:24.000 --> 00:04:26.240 is that I got a B on a math test. NOTE Paragraph 00:04:27.480 --> 00:04:30.680 So something obviously happened between here and here. NOTE Paragraph 00:04:31.600 --> 00:04:36.016 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:04:36.040 --> 00:04:38.216 One of those things was puberty. NOTE Paragraph 00:04:38.240 --> 00:04:39.616 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:04:39.640 --> 00:04:41.016 Beautiful time indeed. 00:04:41.040 --> 00:04:42.376 But moreover, 00:04:42.400 --> 00:04:44.536 I got interested in building robots, 00:04:44.560 --> 00:04:47.816 and I wanted to teach myself about hardware. 00:04:47.840 --> 00:04:51.336 But building things with hardware, especially if you're teaching yourself, 00:04:51.360 --> 00:04:53.736 is something that's really difficult to do. 00:04:53.760 --> 00:04:55.656 It has a high likelihood of failure 00:04:55.680 --> 00:04:56.896 and moreover, 00:04:56.920 --> 00:04:59.696 it has a high likelihood of making you feel stupid. 00:04:59.720 --> 00:05:01.840 And that was my biggest fear at the time. 00:05:02.640 --> 00:05:08.896 So I came up with a setup that would guarantee success 100 percent of the time. 00:05:08.920 --> 00:05:12.296 With my setup, it would be nearly impossible to fail. 00:05:12.320 --> 00:05:15.296 And that was that instead of trying to succeed, 00:05:15.320 --> 00:05:17.880 I was going to try to build things that would fail. 00:05:19.360 --> 00:05:21.616 And even though I didn't realize it at the time, 00:05:21.640 --> 00:05:25.576 building stupid things was actually quite smart, 00:05:25.600 --> 00:05:28.256 because as I kept on learning about hardware, 00:05:28.280 --> 00:05:29.736 for the first time in my life, 00:05:29.760 --> 00:05:32.280 I did not have to deal with my performance anxiety. 00:05:32.880 --> 00:05:36.576 And as soon as I removed all pressure and expectations from myself, 00:05:36.600 --> 00:05:39.976 that pressure quickly got replaced by enthusiasm, 00:05:40.000 --> 00:05:41.760 and it allowed me to just play. NOTE Paragraph 00:05:42.880 --> 00:05:44.136 So as an inventor, 00:05:44.160 --> 00:05:46.576 I'm interested in things that people struggle with. 00:05:46.600 --> 00:05:50.176 It can be small things or big things or medium-sized things 00:05:50.200 --> 00:05:54.736 and something like giving a TED talk presents this whole new set of problems 00:05:54.760 --> 00:05:56.256 that I can solve. 00:05:56.280 --> 00:05:59.376 And identifying a problem is the first step in my process 00:05:59.400 --> 00:06:00.880 of building a useless machine. 00:06:01.520 --> 00:06:03.056 So before I came here, 00:06:03.080 --> 00:06:06.656 I sat down and I thought of some of the potential problems I might have 00:06:06.680 --> 00:06:07.960 in giving this talk. 00:06:08.720 --> 00:06:10.000 Forgetting what to say. 00:06:11.480 --> 00:06:12.776 That people won't laugh -- 00:06:12.800 --> 00:06:14.000 that's you. 00:06:15.080 --> 00:06:16.296 Or even worse, 00:06:16.320 --> 00:06:18.240 that you'll laugh at the wrong things -- 00:06:19.480 --> 00:06:21.056 that was an OK part to laugh at, 00:06:21.080 --> 00:06:22.296 thank you. NOTE Paragraph 00:06:22.320 --> 00:06:23.336 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:06:23.360 --> 00:06:25.736 Or that when I get nervous, my hands start shaking 00:06:25.760 --> 00:06:27.816 and I'm really self-conscious about it. 00:06:27.840 --> 00:06:30.976 Or that my fly has been open this entire time 00:06:31.000 --> 00:06:33.056 and all of you noticed but I didn't, 00:06:33.080 --> 00:06:36.136 but it's closed so we're all good on that one. NOTE Paragraph 00:06:36.160 --> 00:06:39.616 But one thing I'm actually really nervous about is my hands shaking. 00:06:39.640 --> 00:06:41.816 I remember when I was a kid, 00:06:41.840 --> 00:06:43.536 giving presentations in school, 00:06:43.560 --> 00:06:45.656 I would have my notes on a piece of paper, 00:06:45.680 --> 00:06:49.136 and I would put a notebook behind the paper 00:06:49.160 --> 00:06:52.416 so that people wouldn't be able to see the paper quivering. 00:06:52.440 --> 00:06:54.160 And I give a lot of talks. 00:06:55.000 --> 00:06:59.056 I know that about half of you in the audience are probably like, 00:06:59.080 --> 00:07:01.056 "Building useless machines is really fun, 00:07:01.080 --> 00:07:03.736 but how is this in any way or form a business?" 00:07:03.760 --> 00:07:05.696 And giving talks is a part of it. 00:07:05.720 --> 00:07:08.776 And the arrangers always put out a glass of water for you onstage 00:07:08.800 --> 00:07:11.136 so you have something to drink if you get thirsty, 00:07:11.160 --> 00:07:15.056 and I always so badly want to drink that water, 00:07:15.080 --> 00:07:16.936 but I don't dare to pick the glass up 00:07:16.960 --> 00:07:20.256 because then people might be able to see that my hands are shaking. 00:07:20.280 --> 00:07:24.376 So what about a machine that hands you a glass of water? 00:07:24.400 --> 00:07:27.576 Sold to the nervous girl in the googly-eye shirt. NOTE Paragraph 00:07:27.600 --> 00:07:30.600 Actually, I need to take this off because I have a thing -- NOTE Paragraph 00:07:31.440 --> 00:07:34.320 (Googly eyes rattle) NOTE Paragraph 00:07:39.400 --> 00:07:40.816 Oh. NOTE Paragraph 00:07:40.840 --> 00:07:42.336 (Clanking) NOTE Paragraph 00:07:42.360 --> 00:07:45.120 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:07:53.480 --> 00:07:56.456 I still don't know what to call this, 00:07:56.480 --> 00:08:00.016 but I think some sort of "head orbit device," 00:08:00.040 --> 00:08:03.056 because it rotates this platform around you 00:08:03.080 --> 00:08:04.576 and you can put anything on it. 00:08:04.600 --> 00:08:08.416 You can have a camera; you can get photos of your entire head. 00:08:08.440 --> 00:08:12.336 Like it's really -- it's a very versatile machine. NOTE Paragraph 00:08:12.360 --> 00:08:14.056 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:08:14.080 --> 00:08:15.976 OK, and I have -- 00:08:16.000 --> 00:08:18.416 I mean, you can put some snacks on it, for example, 00:08:18.440 --> 00:08:19.696 if you want to. 00:08:19.720 --> 00:08:21.536 I have some popcorn here. 00:08:21.560 --> 00:08:26.040 And you just put a little bit like that. 00:08:27.000 --> 00:08:28.536 And then you want to -- 00:08:28.560 --> 00:08:31.376 there's some sacrifices for science -- 00:08:31.400 --> 00:08:34.456 just some popcorn falling on the floor. 00:08:34.480 --> 00:08:35.895 Let's do the long way around. NOTE Paragraph 00:08:35.919 --> 00:08:37.616 (Robot buzzes) NOTE Paragraph 00:08:37.640 --> 00:08:39.416 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:08:39.440 --> 00:08:41.015 And then you have a little hand. 00:08:41.039 --> 00:08:42.856 You need to adjust the height of it, 00:08:42.880 --> 00:08:44.456 and you just do it by shrugging. NOTE Paragraph 00:08:44.480 --> 00:08:46.376 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:08:46.400 --> 00:08:47.616 (Applause) NOTE Paragraph 00:08:47.640 --> 00:08:48.896 It has a little hand. NOTE Paragraph 00:08:48.920 --> 00:08:50.136 (Hand thwacks) NOTE Paragraph 00:08:50.160 --> 00:08:51.376 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:08:51.400 --> 00:08:54.960 (Applause) NOTE Paragraph 00:08:59.480 --> 00:09:02.176 I just bumped my mic off, 00:09:02.200 --> 00:09:04.120 but I think we're all good. 00:09:05.240 --> 00:09:07.656 OK, also I need to chew this popcorn, 00:09:07.680 --> 00:09:10.616 so if you guys could just clap your hands a little bit more -- NOTE Paragraph 00:09:10.640 --> 00:09:14.736 (Applause) NOTE Paragraph 00:09:14.760 --> 00:09:17.576 OK, so it's like your own little personal solar system, 00:09:17.600 --> 00:09:19.496 because I'm a millennial, 00:09:19.520 --> 00:09:21.976 so I want everything to revolve around me. NOTE Paragraph 00:09:22.000 --> 00:09:25.056 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:09:25.080 --> 00:09:27.696 Back to the glass of water, that's what we're here for. 00:09:27.720 --> 00:09:29.776 So, I promise -- I mean, it still has -- 00:09:29.800 --> 00:09:31.376 it doesn't have any water in it, 00:09:31.400 --> 00:09:32.896 I'm sorry. 00:09:32.920 --> 00:09:37.496 But I still need to work on this machine a little bit 00:09:37.520 --> 00:09:40.776 because I still need to pick up the glass and put it on the platform, 00:09:40.800 --> 00:09:42.816 but if your hands are shaking a little bit, 00:09:42.840 --> 00:09:44.096 nobody's going to notice 00:09:44.120 --> 00:09:47.016 because you're wearing a very mesmerizing piece of equipment. NOTE Paragraph 00:09:47.040 --> 00:09:48.456 So, we're all good. 00:09:48.480 --> 00:09:49.680 OK. NOTE Paragraph 00:09:50.146 --> 00:09:51.296 (Robot buzzes) NOTE Paragraph 00:09:51.320 --> 00:09:52.760 (Singing) NOTE Paragraph 00:09:53.800 --> 00:09:56.296 Oh no, it got stuck. 00:09:56.320 --> 00:09:59.480 Isn't it comforting that even robots sometimes get stage fright? 00:10:00.200 --> 00:10:02.040 It just gets stuck a little bit. 00:10:03.480 --> 00:10:04.960 It's very human of them. 00:10:05.880 --> 00:10:08.496 Oh wait, let's go back a little bit, 00:10:08.520 --> 00:10:09.736 and then -- NOTE Paragraph 00:10:09.760 --> 00:10:10.976 (Glass falls) NOTE Paragraph 00:10:11.000 --> 00:10:13.176 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:10:13.200 --> 00:10:15.656 Isn't it a beautiful time to be alive? NOTE Paragraph 00:10:15.680 --> 00:10:17.936 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:10:17.960 --> 00:10:22.560 (Applause) NOTE Paragraph 00:10:24.680 --> 00:10:29.296 So as much as my machines can seem like simple engineering slapstick, 00:10:29.320 --> 00:10:32.736 I realize that I stumbled on something bigger than that. 00:10:32.760 --> 00:10:37.656 It's this expression of joy and humility that often gets lost in engineering, 00:10:37.680 --> 00:10:40.216 and for me it was a way to learn about hardware 00:10:40.240 --> 00:10:43.040 without having my performance anxiety get in the way. 00:10:44.040 --> 00:10:47.656 I often get asked if I think I'm ever going to build something useful, 00:10:47.680 --> 00:10:49.200 and maybe someday I will. 00:10:50.440 --> 00:10:51.736 But the way I see it, 00:10:51.760 --> 00:10:53.056 I already have 00:10:53.080 --> 00:10:55.440 because I've built myself this job 00:10:56.320 --> 00:10:59.176 and it's something that I could never have planned for, 00:10:59.200 --> 00:11:00.416 or that I could -- NOTE Paragraph 00:11:00.440 --> 00:11:04.560 (Applause) NOTE Paragraph 00:11:06.000 --> 00:11:08.416 It's something that I could never have planned for. 00:11:08.440 --> 00:11:11.976 Instead it happened just because I was enthusiastic about what I was doing, 00:11:12.000 --> 00:11:14.736 and I was sharing that enthusiasm with other people. 00:11:14.760 --> 00:11:18.136 To me that's the true beauty of making useless things, 00:11:18.160 --> 00:11:20.176 because it's this acknowledgment 00:11:20.200 --> 00:11:22.600 that you don't always know what the best answer is. 00:11:23.160 --> 00:11:25.496 And it turns off that voice in your head 00:11:25.520 --> 00:11:28.976 that tells you that you know exactly how the world works. 00:11:29.000 --> 00:11:31.336 And maybe a toothbrush helmet isn't the answer, 00:11:31.360 --> 00:11:33.296 but at least you're asking the question. NOTE Paragraph 00:11:33.320 --> 00:11:34.536 Thank you. NOTE Paragraph 00:11:34.560 --> 00:11:38.600 (Applause)