WEBVTT 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Exhale) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Hello. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 My name is Simone. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 You know how people tell you 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 if you get nervous when on stage, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 picture people in the audience naked. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Like it's this thing that's supposed to make you feel better. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 But I was thinking -- 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 picturing all of you naked in 2018 feels kind of weird and wrong. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Like we're working really hard on moving past stuff like that, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 so we need a new method of dealing with if you get nervous on stage. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And I realized that what I'd really like 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 is that I can look at you as much as you're looking at me -- 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 just to even things out a little bit. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So if I had way more eyeballs, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 then we'd all be really comfortable, right? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So in preparation for this talk, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I made myself a shirt. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Laughter) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It's googly eyes. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It took be 14 hours 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and 227 googly eyes to make this shirt, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and being able to look at you as much as you're looking at me 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 is actually only half of the reason I made this. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The other half is being able to do this. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Shirt shakes) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Laughter) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So I do a lot of things like this. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I see a problem and I invent some sort of solution to it. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 For example, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 brushing your teeth. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Like, it's this thing we all have to do, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it's kind of boring, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and nobody really likes it. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 If there were any seven-year-olds in the audience, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 they'd be like, "Yes!" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So what about if you had a machine that could do it for you? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Laughter) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I call it ... 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I call it "The Toothbrush Helmet." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Laughter) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Toothbrush noise) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Laughter) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Applause) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So my toothbrush helmet is recommended by zero out of 10 dentists, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and it definitely did not revolutionize the world of dentistry, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 but it did completely change my life, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 because I finished making this toothbrush helmet three years ago, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and after I finished making it, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I went into my living room 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and I put up a camera, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and I filmed a seven-second clip of it working. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And by now, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 this is a pretty standard modern-day fairy tale 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 of girl posting on the internet, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the internet takes the girl my storm, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 thousands of men voyage into the comment sections 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 to ask for her hand in marriage -- 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Laughter) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 she ignores all of them, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 starts a YouTube channel, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and keeps on building robots. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Since then, I've carved out this little niche for myself on the internet 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 as an inventor of useless machines, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 because as we all know, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the easiest way to be at the top of your field 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 is to choose a very small field. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Laughter) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Applause) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So I run a YouTube channel about my machines, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and I've done things like cutting hair with drones -- 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Drone flies) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Laughter) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Applause) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 to a machine that helps me wake up in the morning -- 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Alarm) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Laughter) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Video) Ow! 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 to this machine that helps me chop vegetables. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Knife chops) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I'm not an engineer. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I did not study engineering in school. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 But I was a super ambitious student growing up. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 In middle school and high school I had straight A's, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and I graduated at the top of my year. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 On the flip side of that, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I struggled with very severe performance anxiety. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Here's an email I sent to my brother around that time. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "You won't understand how difficult it is for me to tell you, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 to confess this. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I'm so freaking embarrassed, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I don't want people to think that I'm stupid. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Now I'm starting to cry too. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Damn." 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And no, I did not accidentally burn our parents' house down. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The thing I'm writing about in the email, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and the thing I'm so upset about, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 is that I got a B on a math test. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So something obviously happened between here and here. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Laughter) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 One of those things was puberty ... 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 beautful time indeed. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 But moreover, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I got interested in building robots, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and I wanted to teach myself about hardware. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 But building things with hardware, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 especially if you're teaching yourself, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 is something that's really difficult to do. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It has a high likelihood of failure, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and moreover, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it has a high likelihood of making you feel stupid. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And that was my biggest fear at the time. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So I came up with a setup that would guarantee success 100 percent of the time. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 With my setup, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it would be nearly impossible to fail. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And that was instead of trying to succeed, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I was going to try to build things that would fail. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And even though I didn't realize it at the time, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 building stupid things was actually quite smart, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 because as I kept on learning about hardware, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 for the first time in my life, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I did not have to deal with my performance anxiety. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And as soon as I removed all pressure and expectations from myself, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that pressure quickly got replaced by enthusiasm, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and it allowed me to just play. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So as an inventor, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I'm interested in things that people struggle with: 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it can be small things or big things or medium-sized things, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and something like giving a TED talk presents this whole new set of problems 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that I can solve. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And identifying a problem is the first step in my process 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 of building a useless machine. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So before I came here, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I sat down and I thought of some of the potential problems I might have 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 in giving this talk. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Forgetting what to say, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that people won't laugh -- 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that's you -- 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 or even worse, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that you'll laugh at the wrong things -- 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Laughter) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that was an OK part to laugh at, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 thank you. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Laughter) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Or that when I get nervous, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 my hands start shaking 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and I'm really self-conscious about it. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Or that my fly has been open this entire time, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and all of you noticed but I didn't, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 but it's closed so we're all good on that one. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 But one thing I'm actually really nervous about is my hands shaking. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I remember when I was a kid, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 giving presentations in school, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I would have my notes on a piece of paper, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and I would put a notebook behind the paper 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 so that people wouldn't be able to see the paper quivering. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And I give a lot of talks. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I know that about half of you in the audience are probably like, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 "Building useless machines is really fun, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 but how is this in any way or form a business?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And giving talks is a part of it. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And the arrangers always put out a glass of water for you onstage 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 so you have something to drink if you get thirsty, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and I always so badly want to drink that water, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 but I don't dare to pick the glass up, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 because then people might be able to see that my hands are shaking. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So what about a machine that hands you a glass of water? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Sold to the nervous girl in the google-eye shirt. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Actually, I need to take this off because I have a thing -- 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Google-eyes shake) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Oh. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Laughter) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I still don't know what to call this, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 but I think some sort of "head orbit device?" 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Because it rotates this platform around you, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and you can put anything on it. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 You can have a camera, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 you can get photos of your entire head. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Like it's really -- 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it's very versatile machine. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Laughter) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 OK, and I have -- 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I mean, you can put some snacks on it for example, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 if you want to. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I have some popcorn here. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And you just put a little bit like that. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 There's some sacrifices for science -- 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 some popcorn falling on the floor. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Let's do the long way around. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Robot spins) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And then you have a little hand. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 You need to adjust the height of it, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and you just do it by shrugging. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Laughter) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Applause) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It's has a little hand. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Applause) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I just bumped my mic off, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 but I think we're all good. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Laughter) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 OK, also I need to chew this popcorn, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 so if you guys could just clap your hands a little bit more -- 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Applause) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 OK, so it's like your own little personal solar system, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 because I'm a millennial, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 so I want everything to revolve around me. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Laughter) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Back to the glass of water, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that's what we're here for. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So, I promise -- 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I mean, it still has -- 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it doesn't have any water in it, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I'm sorry. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 But I still need to work on this machine a little bit 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 because I still need to pick up the glass and put it on the platform, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 but if your hands are shaking a little bit, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 nobody's going to notice 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 because you're wearing a very mesmerizing piece of equipment. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So, we're all good. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 OK. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Robot spins) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Singing) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Oh no, it got stuck. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Isn't it comforting that even robots sometimes get stage fright? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It just gets stuck a little bit. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It's very human of them. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Oh wait, let's go back a little bit, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and then -- 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Glass falls) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Laughter) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Isn't it a beautiful time to be alive? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Laughter) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Applause) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So as much as my machines can seem like simple engineering slapstick, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I realized that I stumbled on something bigger than that. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It's this expression of joy and humility that often gets lost in engineering, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and for me it was a way to learn about hardware 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 without having my performance anxiety get in the way. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I often get asked if I think I'm ever going to build something useful, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and maybe someday I will. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 But the way I see it, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I already have 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 because I've built myself this job, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and it's something that I could never have planned for 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 or that I could -- 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Applause) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It's something that I could never have planned for. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Instead it happened just because I was enthusiastic about what I was doing, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and I was sharing that enthusiasm with other people. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 To me there's a true beauty of making useless things, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 because it's this acknowledgment 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that you don't always know what the best answer is. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And it turns off that voice in your head 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that tells you that you know exactly how the world works. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And maybe a toothbrush helmet isn't the answer, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 but at least you're asking the question. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Thank you. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Applause)