[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.58,0:00:02.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I know TED is about
Dialogue: 0,0:00:02.67,0:00:04.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a lot of things that are big,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:04.81,0:00:08.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I want to talk to you about\Nsomething very small,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.15,0:00:11.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so small it's a single word.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.28,0:00:13.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The word is "misfit."
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.54,0:00:17.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's one of my favorite words,\Nbecause it's so literal.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:17.55,0:00:21.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, it's a person who sort of\Nmissed fitting in,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.92,0:00:24.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or a person who fits in badly,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:24.47,0:00:29.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or this, a person, who is poorly\Nadapted to new situations
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.74,0:00:31.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and environments.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.37,0:00:34.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm a card-carrying misfit,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.47,0:00:37.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I'm here for the other\Nmisfits in the room,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.33,0:00:40.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I'm never the only one.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.23,0:00:43.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm going to tell you a misfit story.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.02,0:00:45.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Somewhere in my early 30s,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.97,0:00:50.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the dream of becoming a writer\Ncame right to my doorstep.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.33,0:00:53.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Actually, it came to my mailbox\Nin the form of a letter
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.40,0:00:58.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that said I'd won a giant literary prize\Nfor a short story I'd written.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.44,0:01:02.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The short story was about my life\Nas a competitive swimmer,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.22,0:01:05.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and about my crappy home life,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.45,0:01:11.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and a little bit about how grief\Nand loss can make you insane.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.49,0:01:16.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The prize was a trip to New York City\Nto meet big-time editors and agents
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.71,0:01:18.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and other authors.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.41,0:01:22.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So kind of it was the wannabe\Nwriter's dream, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.28,0:01:26.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know what I did the day\Nthe letter came to my house?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.35,0:01:28.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because I'm me,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.07,0:01:30.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I put the letter on my kitchen table,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.04,0:01:34.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I poured myself a giant glass of vodka
Dialogue: 0,0:01:34.22,0:01:36.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with ice and lime,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.89,0:01:39.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I sat there in my underwear
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.21,0:01:41.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for an entire day
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.12,0:01:44.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just staring at the letter.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.85,0:01:47.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was thinking about all the ways\NI'd already screwed my life up.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.85,0:01:50.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Who the hell was I to go to New York City
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.87,0:01:53.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and pretend to be a writer?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.84,0:01:55.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Who was I?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.35,0:01:56.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll tell you.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.93,0:01:58.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was a misfit.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.86,0:02:02.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like legions of other children,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.06,0:02:04.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I came from an abusive household
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.45,0:02:07.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I narrowly escaped with my life.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.98,0:02:12.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I already had two epically\Nfailed marriages underneath my belt.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.18,0:02:15.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd flunked out of college,\Nnot once but twice,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.53,0:02:18.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and maybe even a third time\Nthat I'm not going to tell you about.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.99,0:02:20.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:20.82,0:02:24.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'd done an episode\Nof rehab for drug use.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.98,0:02:30.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'd had two lovely\Nstaycations in jail.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.46,0:02:32.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I'm on the right stage.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.76,0:02:36.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.96,0:02:40.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the real reason, I think,\NI was a misfit,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.35,0:02:43.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that my daughter died\Nthe day she was born,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.46,0:02:48.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I hadn't figured out\Nhow to live with that story yet.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.34,0:02:53.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,After my daughter died,\NI also spent a long time homeless,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.58,0:02:57.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,living under an overpass
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.04,0:03:00.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in a kind of profound state\Nof zombie grief and loss
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.39,0:03:02.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that some of us encounter along the way,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:02.36,0:03:06.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,maybe all of us, if you live long enough.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.24,0:03:10.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, homeless people are some\Nof our most heroic misfits,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.54,0:03:14.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because they start out as us.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.92,0:03:20.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you see, I'd missed fitting in\Nto just about every category out there:
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.08,0:03:25.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,daughter, wife, mother, scholar.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.68,0:03:27.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the dream of being a writer
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.100,0:03:32.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was really kind of like a small,\Nsad stone in my throat.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:32.78,0:03:38.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was pretty much in spite of myself\Nthat I got on that plane
Dialogue: 0,0:03:38.58,0:03:40.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and flew to New York City,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.93,0:03:43.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where the writers are.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:43.09,0:03:47.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Fellow misfits, I can almost\Nsee your heads glowing.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:47.13,0:03:49.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can pick you out of a room.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.03,0:03:51.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At first, you would've loved it.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.50,0:03:53.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You got to choose the three\Nfamous writers you wanted to meet,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:53.21,0:03:56.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and these guys went\Nand found them for you.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.93,0:03:59.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You got set up at the Gramercy Park Hotel,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:59.44,0:04:02.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where you got to drink Scotch\Nlate in the night
Dialogue: 0,0:04:02.34,0:04:04.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with cool, smart, swank people,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.75,0:04:08.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you got to pretend you were cool
Dialogue: 0,0:04:08.26,0:04:09.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and smart and swank too.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.47,0:04:12.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you got to meet a bunch\Nof editors and authors and agents
Dialogue: 0,0:04:12.63,0:04:17.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at very, very fancy lunches and dinners.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:17.66,0:04:19.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ask me how fancy.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:22.31,0:04:24.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm making a confession:
Dialogue: 0,0:04:24.14,0:04:27.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I stole three linen napkins
Dialogue: 0,0:04:27.84,0:04:30.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from three different restaurants
Dialogue: 0,0:04:30.62,0:04:33.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I shoved a menu down my pants.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:33.37,0:04:35.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:35.09,0:04:38.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I just wanted some keepsakes\Nso that when I got home,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:38.32,0:04:41.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I could believe it had really\Nhappened to me.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:41.54,0:04:43.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:43.56,0:04:45.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The three writers I wanted to meet
Dialogue: 0,0:04:45.56,0:04:48.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,were Carol Maso, Lynne Tillman,\Nand Peggy Phelan.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.65,0:04:51.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These were not famous,\Nbest-selling authors,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.57,0:04:55.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but to me, they were women writer titans.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:55.96,0:04:59.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Carole Maso wrote the book\Nthat later became my art bible.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:59.96,0:05:03.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Lynne Tillman gave me permission\Nto believe that there was a chance
Dialogue: 0,0:05:03.93,0:05:07.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my stories could be part of the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:07.08,0:05:09.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And Peggy Phelan reminded me
Dialogue: 0,0:05:09.87,0:05:11.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that maybe my brains
Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.66,0:05:15.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,could be more important than my boobs.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:15.21,0:05:18.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They weren't mainstream women writers,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:18.44,0:05:20.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but they were cutting a path
Dialogue: 0,0:05:20.81,0:05:24.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,through the mainstream\Nwith their body stories,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.45,0:05:29.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I like to think kind of the way\Nwater cut the Grand Canyon.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:29.52,0:05:32.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It nearly killed me with joy\Nto hang out with these three
Dialogue: 0,0:05:32.72,0:05:35.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,over 50-year old women writers,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:35.18,0:05:37.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the reason it nearly\Nkilled me with joy
Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.92,0:05:40.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that I'd never known a joy like that.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.40,0:05:42.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd never been in a room like that.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:42.59,0:05:44.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My mother never went to college,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:44.75,0:05:47.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and my creative career to that point
Dialogue: 0,0:05:47.46,0:05:52.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was a sort of small, sad, stillborn thing.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:52.76,0:05:56.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So kind of in those first nights\Nin New York I wanted to die there.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:56.87,0:06:01.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was just like, "Kill me now.\NI'm good. This is beautiful."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:01.19,0:06:03.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some of you in the room will understand
Dialogue: 0,0:06:03.79,0:06:05.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what happened next.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:05.16,0:06:09.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,First they took me to the offices\Nof Farrar, Straus and Giroux.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:09.48,0:06:13.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Farrar, Straus and Giroux\Nwas like my mega dream press.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:13.70,0:06:17.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, T.S. Eliot and Flannery O'Connor\Nwere published there.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:17.42,0:06:21.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The main editor guy sat me down\Nand talked to me for a long time
Dialogue: 0,0:06:21.99,0:06:26.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,trying to convince me I had a book in me\Nabout my life as a swimmer.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:26.75,0:06:28.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, like, a memoir.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:28.73,0:06:31.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The whole time he was talking to me,\NI sat there smiling and nodding
Dialogue: 0,0:06:31.21,0:06:35.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like a numb idiot
Dialogue: 0,0:06:35.69,0:06:37.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with my arms crossed over my chest
Dialogue: 0,0:06:37.71,0:06:44.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,while nothing, nothing, nothing\Ncame out of my throat.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:44.12,0:06:47.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So in the end,\Nhe patted me on the shoulder
Dialogue: 0,0:06:47.51,0:06:49.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like a swim coach might,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:49.79,0:06:51.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he wished me luck,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:51.64,0:06:54.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he gave me some free books,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:54.10,0:06:57.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he showed me out the door.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:57.59,0:07:01.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Next they took me to the offices\Nof W.W. Norton,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:01.14,0:07:03.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where I was pretty sure\NI would be escorted from the building
Dialogue: 0,0:07:03.67,0:07:06.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just for wearing Doc Martens.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:06.37,0:07:08.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But that didn't happen.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:08.32,0:07:11.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Being at the Norton offices\Nfelt like reaching up into the night sky
Dialogue: 0,0:07:11.22,0:07:16.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and touching the moon while the stars
Dialogue: 0,0:07:16.77,0:07:19.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,stitched your name across the cosmos.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:19.95,0:07:22.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, that's how big\Na deal it was to me.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:22.06,0:07:23.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You get it?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:23.73,0:07:26.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Their lead editor, Carol Houck Smith,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:26.40,0:07:30.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,leaned over right in my face\Nwith these beady, bright, fierce eyes
Dialogue: 0,0:07:30.77,0:07:34.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and said, "Well send me something\Nthen, immediately!"
Dialogue: 0,0:07:34.16,0:07:36.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,See, now most people,\Nespecially TED people
Dialogue: 0,0:07:36.64,0:07:38.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would have run to the mailbox.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:38.62,0:07:41.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It took me over a decade
Dialogue: 0,0:07:41.66,0:07:44.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to even imagine\Nputting something in an envelope
Dialogue: 0,0:07:44.68,0:07:49.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and licking a stamp.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:49.07,0:07:50.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,On the last night,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:50.58,0:07:51.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I gave a big reading
Dialogue: 0,0:07:51.78,0:07:54.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at the National Poetry Club.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:54.50,0:07:56.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And at the end of the reading,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:56.24,0:08:00.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Katharine Kidde, of Kidde, Hoyt\Nand Picard literary agency,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:00.89,0:08:03.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,walked straight up to me and shook my hand
Dialogue: 0,0:08:03.37,0:08:07.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and offered me representation,\Nlike, on the spot.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:07.88,0:08:11.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I stood there and I kind of went deaf.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:11.78,0:08:13.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Has this ever happened to you?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:13.66,0:08:16.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I almost started crying
Dialogue: 0,0:08:16.02,0:08:19.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because all the people in the room\Nwere dressed so beautifully,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:19.97,0:08:23.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and all that came out of my mouth\Nwas, "I don't know.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:23.27,0:08:26.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have to think about it."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:26.87,0:08:33.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And she said, "Okay then,"\Nand walked away.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:33.12,0:08:39.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All those open hands out to me,\Nthat small, sad stone in my throat.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:39.59,0:08:43.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You see, I'm trying to tell you something\Nabout people like me.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:43.68,0:08:47.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Misfit people, we don't know always know\Nhow to hope or say yes
Dialogue: 0,0:08:47.70,0:08:49.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or choose the big thing
Dialogue: 0,0:08:49.28,0:08:51.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even when it's right in front of us.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:51.39,0:08:53.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a shame we carry.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:53.04,0:08:56.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's the shame of wanting something good.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:56.13,0:08:57.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's the shame of feeling something good.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:57.40,0:09:01.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's the shame of not really believing\Nwe deserve to be in the room
Dialogue: 0,0:09:01.61,0:09:04.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with the people we admire.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:04.67,0:09:07.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If I could, I'd go back\Nand I'd coach myself.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:07.62,0:09:11.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd be exactly like those\Nover 50-year old women who helped me.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:11.99,0:09:15.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd teach myself how to want things,\Nhow to stand up,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:15.58,0:09:16.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how to ask for them.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:16.68,0:09:20.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd say, "You! Yeah, you!\NYou belong in the room too."
Dialogue: 0,0:09:20.62,0:09:23.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The radiance falls on all of us,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:23.15,0:09:27.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we are nothing without each other.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:27.30,0:09:30.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Instead, I flew back to Oregon,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:30.21,0:09:36.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and as I watched the evergreens and rain\Ncome back into view,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:36.48,0:09:41.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I just drank many tiny bottles\Nof airplane feel sorry for yourself.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:41.49,0:09:47.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I thought about how, if I was a writer,\NI was some kind of misfit writer.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:47.62,0:09:50.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What I'm saying is, I flew back to Oregon\Nwithout a book deal,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:50.41,0:09:54.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,without an agent, and with only\Na head full and heart full of memories
Dialogue: 0,0:09:54.52,0:09:57.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of having sat so near
Dialogue: 0,0:09:57.61,0:10:00.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the beautiful writers.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:00.48,0:10:05.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Memory was the only prize\NI allowed myself.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:05.18,0:10:09.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And yet, at home in the dark,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:09.10,0:10:11.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,back in my underwear,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:11.58,0:10:14.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I could still hear their voices.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:14.46,0:10:18.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They said, "Don't listen to anyone\Nwho tries to get you to shut up
Dialogue: 0,0:10:18.53,0:10:21.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or change your story."
Dialogue: 0,0:10:21.06,0:10:24.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They said, "Give voice to the story\Nonly you know how to tell."
Dialogue: 0,0:10:24.56,0:10:27.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They said, "Sometimes telling the story
Dialogue: 0,0:10:27.21,0:10:31.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is the thing that saves your life."
Dialogue: 0,0:10:31.88,0:10:35.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now I am, as you can see,\Nthe woman over 50,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:35.18,0:10:38.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I'm a writer,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:38.36,0:10:40.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I'm a mother,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:40.63,0:10:43.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I became a teacher.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:43.23,0:10:46.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Guess who my favorite students are?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:46.30,0:10:46.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Although it didn't happen the day\Nthat dream letter came through my mailbox,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:46.90,0:10:52.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I did write a memoir
Dialogue: 0,0:10:52.27,0:10:54.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,called "The Chronology of Water."
Dialogue: 0,0:10:54.89,0:10:59.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In it are the stories of how many times\NI've had to reinvent a self
Dialogue: 0,0:10:59.58,0:11:02.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from the ruins of my choices,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:02.88,0:11:08.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the stories of how my seeming failures\Nwere really just weird-ass portals
Dialogue: 0,0:11:08.31,0:11:10.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to something beautiful.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:10.56,0:11:15.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All I had to do was give voice\Nto the story.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:15.51,0:11:20.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a myth in most cultures\Nabout following your dreams.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:20.66,0:11:23.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's called the Hero's Journey.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:23.33,0:11:26.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I prefer a different myth
Dialogue: 0,0:11:26.28,0:11:29.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's slightly to the side of that,\Nor underneath it.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:29.23,0:11:32.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's called the Misfit's Myth,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:32.04,0:11:33.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it goes like this:
Dialogue: 0,0:11:33.81,0:11:36.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even at the moment of your failure,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:36.20,0:11:39.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,right then, you are beautiful.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:39.08,0:11:44.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You don't know it yet, but you\Nhave the ability to reinvent yourself
Dialogue: 0,0:11:44.23,0:11:45.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,endlessly.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:45.76,0:11:47.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's your beauty.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:47.90,0:11:50.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can be a drunk,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:50.52,0:11:53.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can be a survivor of abuse,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:53.31,0:11:54.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can be an ex-con,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:54.50,0:11:55.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can be a homeless person,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:55.17,0:11:58.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can lose all your money\Nor your job or your husband
Dialogue: 0,0:11:58.12,0:12:00.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or your wife, or the worst thing of all,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:00.62,0:12:02.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a child.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:02.06,0:12:04.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can even lose your marbles.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:04.22,0:12:09.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can be standing dead center\Nin the middle of your failure
Dialogue: 0,0:12:09.01,0:12:11.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and still, I'm only here to tell you,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:11.17,0:12:13.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you are so beautiful.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:13.30,0:12:15.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Your story deserves to be heard,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:15.62,0:12:19.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because you, you rare\Nand phenomenal misfit,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:19.92,0:12:22.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you new species,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:22.52,0:12:24.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are the only one in the room
Dialogue: 0,0:12:24.77,0:12:26.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who can tell the story
Dialogue: 0,0:12:26.38,0:12:29.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the way only you would.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:29.77,0:12:32.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'd be listening.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:32.37,0:12:34.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:34.46,0:12:40.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)