9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So when you think about a child,[br]a close friend, or a romantic partner,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the word "love" probably comes to mind,

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and instantly other emotions rush in:

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
joy and hope,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
excitement, trust and security,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and yes, sometimes[br]sadness and disappointment.

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There might not be[br]a word in the dictionary

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that more of us[br]are connected to than love.

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Yet, given its central[br]importance in our lives,

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isn't it interesting that we're never[br]explicitly taught how to love?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We build friendships,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
navigate early romantic relationships,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
get married and bring babies[br]home from the hospital

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
with the expectation[br]that we'll figure it out.

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But the truth is, we often harm[br]and disrespect the ones we love.

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It can be subtle things[br]like guilting a friend

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
into spending time with you

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
or sneaking a peak[br]at your partner's texts

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
or shaming a child[br]for their lack of effort at school.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
100 percent of us will be[br]on the receiving end

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
of unhealthy relationship behaviors,

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and 100 percent of us[br]will do unhealthy things.

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It's part of being human.

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In its worst form, the harm[br]we inflict on loved ones

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shows up as abuse and violence,

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and relationship abuse

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is something that one in three women[br]and one in four men

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will experience in their lifetime.

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Now, if you're like most people,[br]when you hear those stats,

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you'll go, oh, no no no,[br]that would never happen to me.

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It's instinctual to move away[br]from the words "abuse" and "violence,"

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to think that they happen[br]to someone else somewhere else.

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But the truth is, unhealthy relationships[br]and abuse are all around us.

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We just call them different things[br]and ignore the connection.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Abuse sneaks up on us[br]disguised in unhealthy love.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I work for an organization called One Love

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
started by a family whose daughter[br]Yeardley was killed by her ex-boyfriend.

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This was a tragedy no one saw coming,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but when they looked back,

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they realized the warning signs were there

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just no one understood[br]what they were seeing.

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Called crazy or drama[br]or too much drinking,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
his actions weren't understood[br]to be what they really were,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
which was clear signs of danger.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Her family realized that if anyone[br]had been educated about these signs,

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her death could have been prevented.

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So today we're on a mission[br]to make sure that others

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have the information[br]that Yeardley and her friends didn't.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We have three main goals:

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
give all of us a language[br]for talking about a subject

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that's quite awkward[br]and uncomfortable to discuss;

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
empower a whole frontline,[br]namely friends, to help;

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and, in the process, improve[br]all of our ability to love better.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
To do this, it's always important[br]to start by illuminating

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the unhealthy signs[br]that we frequently miss,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and our work really focuses[br]on creating content

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to start conversations with young people.

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As you'd expect, most of our content is[br]pretty serious, given the subject at hand,

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but today I'm going to use[br]one of our more light-hearted

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
yet still thought-provoking pieces,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the Couplets,