WEBVTT
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♪ (music) ♪
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♪ Who, stole my heart away ♪
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♪ Who, makes me dream all day ♪
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♪ Dreams I know can never be true ♪
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♪ Seems as though I'll ever be blue ♪
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♪ Who, means my happiness ♪
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♪ Who, would I answer yes to ♪
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♪ Well, you ought to guess who ♪
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♪ No one but you ♪
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♪ (crescendo) ♪
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♪ ( diminuendo) ♪
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♪ (Welcome gong and trumpets) ♪
[Hamlet playing]
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(King Claudius)
Welcome, dear Rosencrantz and Guildenstern
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Moreover that we much did long to see you,
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The need we have to use you did provoke
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Our hasty sending.
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Something have you heard
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Of Hamlet’s transformation;
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so call it,
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Sith, nor the exterior nor the inward man
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Resembles that it was.
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What it should be,
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More than his father’s death,
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that thus hath put him
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So much from the understanding of himself,
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I cannot dream of:
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I entreat you both,
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That, being of so young days
brought up with him,
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And sith so neighbor'd
to his youth and humor,
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That you vouchsafe
your rest here in our court
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Some little time:
- Look, mister, sit down properly.
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so by your companies
- You're in the theater, not in a pub.
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To draw him on to pleasures,
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and to gather,
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So much as from occasion you may glean,
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Whether aught, unknown to us,
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afflicts him thus,
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That, open'd,
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lies within our remedy.
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(Queen Gertrude)
Good gentlemen,
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he hath much talk'd of you;
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And sure I am two men there is not living
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To whom he more adheres.
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If it will please you
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To show us so much gentry and goodwill
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As to expend your time with us awhile,
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For the supply and profit of our hope,
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Your visitation shall receive such thanks
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As fits a king’s remembrance.
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(Rosencratz) Both your majesties, might
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Might, by the sovereign power
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you have of us,
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Put your dread pleasures more into command
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Than to entreaty.
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(Guildenstern) But we both obey,
And here give up ourselves, in full bent
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- Guy: What a pleasure
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in this day and age to hear the language
so beautifully spoken.
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[play inaudible]
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Dear, dear, I'm not walking out.
I just have to be able to piss, you see.
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(Gertrude)
Thanks, genle Guildenstern and Rosencrantz
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And I beseech you instantly
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Wait and listen.
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(Gertrude) Go some of you,
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And bring these gentlemen where Hamlet is.
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(Guildenstern)
Heavens make our presence and practices...
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[Clearing throat]
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[footsteps]
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Going to the… excuse me.
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Hmm..
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Gosh!
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What is this? This is shameful.
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What is this?
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[footsteps]
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♪ Our hope for years to come ♪
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♪ Our shelter from the stormy blast ♪
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♪ And our eternal home. ♪
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♪ Before the hills in order stood ♪
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No soap.
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There's never any soap!
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There is no soap, why?
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We weren't given soap, that's why!
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Do I want to be sick?
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Huh?
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No, no, not yet.
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Hmm.
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You know,
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you remind me of a stalker I once knew.
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♪ (Music) ♪
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[Applause]
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[sound of a door being opened]
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♪ (music) ♪
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My dear lady,
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I do assure you,
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one is an old friend of the leading actor.
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We were at Cambridge together.
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Young men together at university.
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They've come such a long way
one simply must
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put one's head around the door.
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Your pass, please.
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Otherwise, you won't get in.
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My Pass? Well, my Pass...
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I'm sure I'm not the first person
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to remark your pronounced resemblance
to the late Ernest Bevin.
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It is most striking.
- ...your light bulb's burned out.
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You could be sisters.
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Yes shocking like this, I know...
but quite amusing.
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Mmm-hmm.
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Do I look such a tremendous villain?
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And a special news.
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Oh, uh, do hurry....
One is not feeling at all well.
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Oh, dear.Thank you.
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[buzzer rings]
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Thank you.
(coughs)
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[sound of the door closing]
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♪ (music) ♪
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afdsagkjagh
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♪ (unsettling music) ♪
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[muffled nausea sound]
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[sigh]
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The drink, the drink.
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[door bangs]
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It is the drink!
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[sound of puking]
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Aren't you feeling well?
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[clears throat]
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Yes, thank you.
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I am perfectly all right.
[is sick again]
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Well, I'll get the woman.
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[knocking on the door]
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I'm in a French faux.
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Oh, run that tap, for God's sake.
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Oh, yes.
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I wouldn't care,
but it's only the interval.
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If you want to come round and be sick
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you might at least save it
for the end of the performance.
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Oh!
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Pears soap!
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Who are you?
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And who is that boy outside?
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Boy?
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Outside?
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[sound of footsteps]
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I do not know.
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I haven't seen that one before.
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Could I have one of these?
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[sighs]
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I love your frock.
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You are very rude.
Are you from the embassy?
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Not exactly.
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Well, there can't be many other Englishmen
in Moscow, who are you?
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I was at Cambridge with Hamlet.
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Well, why don't we tell him you're here?
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He's only down the corridor.
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All in good time.
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The question is, you see
are we as welcome as ever?
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I know your face.
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Craven A, for your throat's sake, Mmm.
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Are you enjoying the play?
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I'm adoring it.
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I like the local Laertes.
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He goes rather well into times.
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Yes, that's what he thinks.
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It looks as if he's put a couple of
King Edwards down there.
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[laughs]
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How do you like Moscow?
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Oh, loathe it, darling.
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I cannot understand
what those Three Sisters are on about.
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It gives the play a very sinister slant.
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Act II begins, please.
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Ah, a drink would help.
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Begin Act II, please.
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Don't you think you've had enough?
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All right.
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If you're not at the embassy,
what do you do?
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I liaise.
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Are you press?
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Sort of.
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You're not feeling sick again?
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Don't know, uh, think I am, rather
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Oh, God!
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A lesson I've learned in life
is that when one is sick
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it's always in threes.
[3 knocks]
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Your call please, Miss Browne.
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Yes, here it comes.
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[puking sound]
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Oh, God!
[puking sound]
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I'll send somebody in.
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[banging]
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Miss Browne, your call!
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I must go.
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Oh God!
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Do try to feel better.
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And go home.
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Yes.
[pukes again]
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[music]
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[sound of door opening]
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[music]
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[sound of door closing]
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[music]
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- Oh, I'm so sorry...
- I'm a sloppy one. [russian?]
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Guy.
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Guy!
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...his own petard: and 't shall go hard.
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But I will delve
one yard below their mines,
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And blow them at the moon:
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When in one line two crafts directly meet.
[2 persons whispering amongst themselves]
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[inaudible] I am delighted, good.
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Quiet please, shhh.
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This man must set me packing:
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I'll lug the guts into the neighbour room.
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Mother, good night.
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Indeed...
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this counsellor
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Is now most still, most secret
and most grave,
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Where is Charles?
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Who was in life
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a foolish prating knave.
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Come, sir,
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to draw toward an end with you.
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You're cutting fine, darling.
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Guess who I've just seen
coming down the corridor?
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Who?
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Guy Burgess
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Who?
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Guy Burgess, dear.
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The spy.
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The missing diplomat.
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♪ (music) ♪
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Ah, my good lord,
what have I seen tonight!
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What, Gertrude? How does Hamlet?
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Guy Burgess?
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How does Hamlet?
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Mad as the sea...
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Mad as the seas and wind when both contend
Which is the mightier:
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in his lawless fit,
Behind the arras hearing something stir,
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Whips out his rapier, cries,
"A rat, a rat!"
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And, in his brainish apprehension, kills
The unseen good old man.
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Oh, heavy deed!
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It had been so with us had we been there.
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His liberty is full of threats to all;
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To you yourself, to us, to everyone.
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♪ (music) ♪
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(applause)
00:12:15.102 --> 00:12:16.191
- Why?
- No!
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I don't want my mind broadened.
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I'd not eat cabbage for breakfast at home.
Why'd I eat it here?
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Well, it's good that I like beetroot,
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Otherwise I'd be reduced to
skin and bones.
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Do not push, Madam.
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Mum must be the word, truly.
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Why?
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Well, we don't want anyone
ringing "The Express."
00:12:31.071 --> 00:12:31.871
Give way.
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If anyone's going to eat tonight,
knock on my door.
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He's got fatter.
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You knew him?
00:12:39.601 --> 00:12:42.779
Oh, I used to run across him years ago,
00:12:42.779 --> 00:12:44.458
the way one does, you know...
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You're rather that way, aren't you?
00:12:48.666 --> 00:12:49.666
What way?
00:12:50.381 --> 00:12:51.174
Left.
00:12:51.781 --> 00:12:56.411
Oh. I was. Everyone was in those days.
00:12:57.331 --> 00:12:58.161
I like him.
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Despite the fact
that he was sick in my basin.
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Really?
00:13:02.761 --> 00:13:04.015
Bags of charm.
00:13:04.015 --> 00:13:04.745
Yes.
00:13:05.311 --> 00:13:08.921
But you're right, I wouldn't set
The Express on my worst enemy
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Drink?
00:13:10.379 --> 00:13:11.379
I'd love one.
00:13:13.310 --> 00:13:14.246
It's gone!
00:13:15.305 --> 00:13:16.042
My drink!
00:13:17.241 --> 00:13:18.411
My cigarettes.
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My soap!
00:13:21.651 --> 00:13:24.006
Huh! That stinker!
00:13:24.381 --> 00:13:25.404
Bags of charm...
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(keys clinking)
00:13:31.381 --> 00:13:32.085
Thank you.
00:13:32.363 --> 00:13:36.453
(footsteps)
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Nightcap?
00:13:40.662 --> 00:13:41.412
Please!
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(sound of door opening)
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Hot, hot, hot.
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Is your room hotter?
00:13:50.161 --> 00:13:50.971
Boiling!
00:13:51.387 --> 00:13:54.584
I am sure it's all part of the cold war...
00:13:59.331 --> 00:14:00.296
No plug.
00:14:05.201 --> 00:14:07.096
Secret store.
00:14:08.378 --> 00:14:09.928
(sound of cupboard being closed)
00:14:10.429 --> 00:14:13.269
(footsteps and glass clinking)
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Oh!
00:14:16.836 --> 00:14:18.386
(sound of glasses on the table)
00:14:18.911 --> 00:14:20.183
Have you found any bugs?
00:14:20.501 --> 00:14:21.473
Come again?
00:14:21.617 --> 00:14:22.337
Bugs!
00:14:23.421 --> 00:14:24.600
Have you found any bugs?
00:14:24.795 --> 00:14:27.055
Bugs? No, mine is very clean.
00:14:28.908 --> 00:14:29.788
(glasses clinking)
00:14:33.511 --> 00:14:34.221
Oh.
00:14:34.891 --> 00:14:36.308
Wonderful rooms!
00:14:36.589 --> 00:14:37.659
Every convenience.
00:14:38.001 --> 00:14:38.871
All same.
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I have but one complaint.
00:14:41.771 --> 00:14:43.682
Oh, what is that, pray?
00:14:44.251 --> 00:14:46.442
Well, in view of the splendid achievements
00:14:46.442 --> 00:14:48.878
Of the Union of
Soviet Socialist Republics.
00:14:49.621 --> 00:14:52.977
I think, at least, they might want to
plug the base...
00:14:53.047 --> 00:14:55.216
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
00:14:55.216 --> 00:14:55.984
What?
00:14:59.341 --> 00:15:03.070
It's like playing Private lives
to a Wednesday matinee in Oldham.
00:15:03.265 --> 00:15:04.265
Ha ha ha ha...
00:15:05.091 --> 00:15:06.501
I'll tell you something else.
00:15:06.501 --> 00:15:07.221
Mmm?
00:15:07.988 --> 00:15:09.979
You can go off caviar.
00:15:10.080 --> 00:15:12.360
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...
00:15:21.510 --> 00:15:23.550
(sound of note sliding under the door)
00:15:42.855 --> 00:15:43.798
(sound of door being closed)
00:15:44.741 --> 00:15:45.855
Who came?
00:15:46.648 --> 00:15:47.938
I don't understand.
00:15:50.419 --> 00:15:51.729
Just a moment!
00:15:57.445 --> 00:16:03.645
(footsteps)
00:16:09.073 --> 00:16:10.073
Here you are.
00:16:15.471 --> 00:16:16.506
Thank you.
00:16:17.259 --> 00:16:20.819
(sound of receding footsteps)
00:16:21.511 --> 00:16:23.031
(sound of plug being fixed)
00:16:23.502 --> 00:16:29.906
(sound of running water)
00:16:31.983 --> 00:16:45.839
♪ (music) ♪
00:16:46.260 --> 00:16:47.090
(cups clinking)
00:16:47.495 --> 00:17:12.527
♪ (music) ♪
00:17:12.867 --> 00:17:13.567
I can't do anything, there's no last name.
00:17:13.567 --> 00:17:15.506
How did I send you a letter then?
00:17:15.506 --> 00:17:16.976
I didn't receive your letter.
00:17:16.976 --> 00:17:18.166
So what should I do?
00:17:18.166 --> 00:17:20.323
I don't really care.
00:17:20.323 --> 00:17:21.593
It's always like this with you.
00:17:22.121 --> 00:17:24.737
Please, how do I get there?
00:17:29.349 --> 00:17:31.829
Vera Ivanovna,
have you got such an address?
00:17:33.065 --> 00:17:35.315
No, I don't know.
Just a minute, I'll take a look.
00:17:35.791 --> 00:17:38.537
Well, somebody must be able
to tell me how to get there.
00:17:50.079 --> 00:17:52.619
There is no such address.
I don't know.
00:17:52.691 --> 00:17:53.833
This is ridiculous.
00:17:53.833 --> 00:17:56.999
Haven't you got
a street directory an A to Z?
00:17:57.040 --> 00:17:59.810
What are you talking about?
I don't understand anything!
00:18:00.411 --> 00:18:01.722
Can I get a taxi?
00:18:01.722 --> 00:18:02.450
No taxi.
00:18:02.991 --> 00:18:03.975
Do you have trouble?
00:18:04.458 --> 00:18:05.318
Oh no.
00:18:05.629 --> 00:18:06.349
No.
00:18:09.841 --> 00:18:10.637
Taxi!
00:18:10.641 --> 00:18:11.361
Ta—
00:18:12.069 --> 00:18:21.509
♪ (music) ♪
00:18:21.509 --> 00:18:22.735
Hot pies!
00:18:23.746 --> 00:18:25.342
Hot pies, hot pies!
00:18:27.676 --> 00:18:29.576
Hot pies, hot pies!
00:18:31.448 --> 00:18:32.538
What kind of pies?
00:18:32.939 --> 00:18:33.939
Meat pies.
00:18:35.071 --> 00:18:37.724
Excuse me, do you know where this is?
00:18:37.752 --> 00:18:39.642
I don't know,
go to the embassy.
00:18:40.271 --> 00:18:41.046
Thank you.
00:18:41.253 --> 00:18:42.061
Hot pies!
00:18:43.001 --> 00:18:44.001
Hot pies!
00:18:44.341 --> 00:18:45.161
Hot pies!
00:18:45.221 --> 00:18:55.948
♪ (music) ♪
00:18:56.184 --> 00:19:06.994
♪ (lively music) ♪
00:19:07.017 --> 00:19:13.810
♪ (increase in tempo of music) ♪
00:19:15.271 --> 00:19:18.296
I just want to know where the place is.
How do I get there?
00:19:19.395 --> 00:19:21.363
I thought that's what embassies were for.
00:19:21.521 --> 00:19:24.417
You have to remember,
the gentleman in question was a spy.
00:19:24.911 --> 00:19:26.773
In England he'd be languishing in jail.
00:19:26.861 --> 00:19:29.500
You'd rather, languishing here actually.
Ha!
00:19:34.001 --> 00:19:35.369
Bring a tape measure.
00:19:36.431 --> 00:19:37.500
Bring a tape measure?
00:19:37.911 --> 00:19:40.716
Mr Burgess has asked me to lunch.
00:19:41.651 --> 00:19:42.646
With a tape measure?
00:19:42.718 --> 00:19:43.848
Watching his waistline.
00:19:44.081 --> 00:19:47.386
Well, you can not stop me
from going to lunch. It is a free country.
00:19:48.071 --> 00:19:48.839
Rather, it is.
00:19:49.751 --> 00:19:50.541
Have lunch here.
00:19:50.991 --> 00:19:51.813
It's Tuesday.
00:19:52.063 --> 00:19:53.494
It's Kedgeree, it's delicious!
00:19:53.671 --> 00:19:56.423
It's Tuesday Tessa, Kedgeree!
00:19:59.191 --> 00:20:01.174
Tessa doesn't think we take it seriously.
00:20:02.501 --> 00:20:03.802
Was he a chum of yours?
00:20:04.531 --> 00:20:07.754
He popped by my dressing room
last night and threw up in the basin.
00:20:08.221 --> 00:20:10.060
It was love at first sight.
00:20:10.361 --> 00:20:12.028
First impressions are always best.
00:20:12.571 --> 00:20:14.577
You never had any contact with him before?
00:20:15.051 --> 00:20:15.776
No.
00:20:15.811 --> 00:20:18.341
You didn't meet him
when he was at the Foreign Office?
00:20:18.341 --> 00:20:19.096
No.
00:20:19.171 --> 00:20:20.090
On the BBC?
00:20:20.295 --> 00:20:21.025
No.
00:20:21.351 --> 00:20:22.604
What about Maclean?
00:20:23.462 --> 00:20:24.462
No!
00:20:24.671 --> 00:20:27.359
Odd he should come
into your dressing room!
00:20:27.711 --> 00:20:29.511
Ladies aren't exactly his like.
00:20:29.921 --> 00:20:30.921
Are they yours?
00:20:31.661 --> 00:20:34.617
Of course, if all he wanted
was to be sick, that would figure.
00:20:35.151 --> 00:20:37.723
He was coming around
to see one of the actors.
00:20:37.961 --> 00:20:38.768
Which one?
00:20:39.370 --> 00:20:41.851
You're not being paid
for The Daily Express, are you?
00:20:41.851 --> 00:20:43.753
They're very keen to get a hold of him.
00:20:43.911 --> 00:20:46.488
I should give up the idea.
Have lunch with us. Come on.
00:20:46.731 --> 00:20:49.451
I have no intention of having
lunch with you.
00:20:50.256 --> 00:20:52.309
He has asked me to call.
00:20:52.467 --> 00:20:57.154
(sounds of the typewriter)
00:20:57.265 --> 00:20:58.521
Do you know where this is?
00:20:58.948 --> 00:21:01.490
Oh, Tessa does not know, do you, Tessa?
00:21:01.660 --> 00:21:02.854
Tessa's such a skinny.
00:21:03.934 --> 00:21:05.893
Tessa's ambition is just marking time
00:21:05.893 --> 00:21:08.555
until her face is on the front page
of Country Life.
00:21:08.645 --> 00:21:10.234
after the advertisements
00:21:10.774 --> 00:21:11.812
for gateleg tables.
00:21:13.902 --> 00:21:19.512
(sounds of the typewriter)
00:21:19.612 --> 00:21:20.791
Stalin is dead.
00:21:22.422 --> 00:21:23.838
Exchanges are taking place.
00:21:24.183 --> 00:21:25.741
You, the Old Vic.
00:21:26.394 --> 00:21:27.801
Not overtures, I admit.
00:21:27.927 --> 00:21:30.151
But the tuning up,
preparatory to the overtures
00:21:30.965 --> 00:21:33.894
For the first time in 10 years,
we're on speaking terms
00:21:34.671 --> 00:21:36.295
Our friends, the foe,
00:21:37.088 --> 00:21:38.698
are just beginning to play ball.
00:21:38.741 --> 00:21:41.525
We don't want them
to take that bat home, do we?
00:21:41.811 --> 00:21:44.490
Burgess and Maclean,
they're yesterday's breakfast.
00:21:45.221 --> 00:21:48.282
We wanted to get them,
the Russians want to forget them.
00:21:49.641 --> 00:21:52.142
The thing is,
we do not want any fuss at this point.
00:21:52.431 --> 00:21:53.234
No scenes.
00:21:54.351 --> 00:21:55.510
This is grown-up stuff.
00:21:55.661 --> 00:21:57.411
I am going to lunch.
00:21:57.901 --> 00:21:59.101
A quiet little meal.
00:21:59.931 --> 00:22:00.696
I am an actress.
00:22:00.696 --> 00:22:03.430
All actresses are fools,
it's a well established fact.
00:22:04.621 --> 00:22:06.036
Why should there be any fuss?
00:22:07.306 --> 00:22:08.500
May I just take the note?
00:22:08.721 --> 00:22:11.175
Certainly not. The impudence!
00:22:11.301 --> 00:22:13.656
Oh, do stay to lunch,
there'll be jokes.
00:22:13.841 --> 00:22:15.327
Yes, Giles knows lots of jokes.
00:22:15.631 --> 00:22:17.131
Only we've heard them all.
00:22:17.481 --> 00:22:18.961
New people make such a change.
00:22:19.121 --> 00:22:21.420
Tessa wants you to stay.
Don't you, Tessa?
00:22:22.411 --> 00:22:24.646
I think you're both shits.
00:22:24.791 --> 00:22:27.614
I was only teasing! Oh God!
00:22:27.614 --> 00:22:30.046
That means that we won't be on speakers
for a week.
00:22:32.701 --> 00:22:35.588
Well, thank you for all your help.
00:22:36.907 --> 00:22:38.876
Oh, don't bother to show me out.
00:22:40.641 --> 00:22:42.311
Enjoy your Kedgeree.
00:22:55.141 --> 00:22:56.154
Show me that address.
00:23:00.491 --> 00:23:01.442
Tessa!
00:23:04.591 --> 00:23:05.336
Naughty.
00:23:07.241 --> 00:23:07.973
Sorry.
00:23:21.517 --> 00:23:47.473
♪ (music) ♪
00:23:47.479 --> 00:23:48.228
Oh...
00:23:48.228 --> 00:23:50.519
♪ (music) ♪
00:23:50.519 --> 00:23:55.601
I don't know such an address.
You, lady, should take a taxi.
00:23:56.481 --> 00:23:57.285
Thank you.
00:23:57.285 --> 00:24:03.858
♪ (music) ♪
[Pravda "Truth", Russian newspaper]
00:24:03.858 --> 00:24:19.195
[inaudible conversation in russian]
00:24:19.231 --> 00:24:20.319
Excuse me.
00:24:21.275 --> 00:24:22.195
[russian]
00:24:22.195 --> 00:24:30.288
♪ (music) ♪
00:24:30.288 --> 00:24:31.768
I know this place, I know it.
00:24:31.768 --> 00:24:36.407
♪ (music) ♪
00:24:36.407 --> 00:24:38.715
Will you give me your handkerchief?
I'll take you.
00:24:38.715 --> 00:25:35.136
♪ (music) ♪
00:25:35.136 --> 00:25:35.846
This is it.
00:25:35.846 --> 00:26:23.415
♪ (music) ♪
00:26:24.241 --> 00:26:26.002
♪ From the bank and from the river ♪
NOTE Paragraph
00:26:26.501 --> 00:26:28.402
♪ He flashed into the crystal mirror, ♪
00:26:29.341 --> 00:26:30.834
♪ ‘Tirra lira,’ by the river ♪
00:26:31.266 --> 00:26:32.785
♪ Sang Sir Lancelot. ♪
00:26:34.001 --> 00:26:36.261
♪ She left the web, she left the loom, ♪
00:26:36.266 --> 00:26:38.346
♪ She made three paces
through the room, ♪
00:26:38.491 --> 00:26:40.311
♪ She saw the water-lily bloom, ♪
00:26:40.501 --> 00:26:42.261
♪ She saw the helmet and the plume, ♪
00:26:42.261 --> 00:26:43.968
♪ She looked down to Camelot. ♪
00:26:45.061 --> 00:26:46.954
♪ Out flew the web and floated wide; ♪
00:26:47.297 --> 00:26:49.565
♪ The mirror cracked from side to side; ♪
00:26:50.247 --> 00:26:52.717
♪ "The curse is come upon me," cried ♪
00:26:52.717 --> 00:26:54.790
♪ The Lady of Shalott. ♪
00:26:55.331 --> 00:26:58.796
I've tracked halfway across Russia
to get here.
00:26:59.031 --> 00:26:59.764
Oh, dear!
00:27:00.453 --> 00:27:02.091
I suppose that's my soap.
00:27:02.261 --> 00:27:04.494
It is, it is, and very nice too.
00:27:05.151 --> 00:27:06.573
Now, do sit down.
00:27:07.401 --> 00:27:08.601
What a splendid coat!
00:27:09.881 --> 00:27:10.624
There we are.
00:27:13.711 --> 00:27:14.968
I've just been tidying up.
00:27:15.994 --> 00:27:16.754
Here...
00:27:17.772 --> 00:27:18.502
Now...
00:27:18.611 --> 00:27:19.513
Have a drink...
00:27:20.500 --> 00:27:23.251
You know, quite honestly,
I thought that you'd chuck.
00:27:23.761 --> 00:27:24.724
I nearly did.
00:27:25.761 --> 00:27:26.802
You steal my soap,
00:27:27.521 --> 00:27:28.691
you steal my cigarettes,
00:27:29.181 --> 00:27:31.127
you even stole my face powder.
00:27:31.181 --> 00:27:33.137
I know, I know. One should have asked.
00:27:33.448 --> 00:27:34.448
One is such a coward.
00:27:37.198 --> 00:27:38.818
There, hardly any luxuries left..
00:27:39.471 --> 00:27:40.681
Quite a pigsty, in fact.
00:27:41.451 --> 00:27:43.447
You know I used to live
in German Street.
00:27:44.011 --> 00:27:45.164
Tragic, you might think.
00:27:45.647 --> 00:27:46.647
Well, not really.
00:27:48.481 --> 00:27:49.893
That was a pigsty, too.
00:27:50.241 --> 00:27:52.801
You know by their standard,
it's quite palatial...
00:27:53.656 --> 00:27:54.656
even commodius...
00:27:55.511 --> 00:27:57.003
One is very lucky.
00:28:00.151 --> 00:28:01.918
If that's our lunch, it's burning.
00:28:02.041 --> 00:28:04.111
Oh! Oh, dear! Oh yeah!
00:28:06.501 --> 00:28:08.383
Can one salvage some of it?
00:28:10.321 --> 00:28:11.086
No.
00:28:12.081 --> 00:28:13.681
Oh!
[tapping sound]
00:28:16.891 --> 00:28:18.111
Ah, all is not lost.
00:28:18.516 --> 00:28:20.286
I managed to scrounge two tomatoes
00:28:20.371 --> 00:28:22.051
And quite a talking point...
00:28:22.286 --> 00:28:23.006
a grapefruit
00:28:23.006 --> 00:28:23.732
Treats.
00:28:24.049 --> 00:28:25.049
[unclear]
00:28:33.131 --> 00:28:33.852
Garlic?
00:28:34.381 --> 00:28:35.511
No, thank you.
00:28:35.511 --> 00:28:36.290
I love it!
00:28:38.711 --> 00:28:40.326
Now, tell me all the gossip.
00:28:41.761 --> 00:28:43.232
Did you see Harold Nicholson?
00:28:43.721 --> 00:28:46.707
I've seen him, but I do not know him.
00:28:47.081 --> 00:28:47.812
Oh!
00:28:48.186 --> 00:28:49.599
Nice man, nice man
00:28:50.261 --> 00:28:52.491
What about Cyril Connolly?
He's everywhere.
00:28:52.641 --> 00:28:54.733
Well, I have'nt run across him either.
00:28:54.733 --> 00:28:55.436
Oh!
00:28:56.088 --> 00:28:58.708
Somehow, one remembers
everyone knowing everyone else.
00:28:59.434 --> 00:29:01.184
Everyone I knew, knew everyone else.
00:29:01.501 --> 00:29:02.697
Auden, do you know him?
00:29:02.941 --> 00:29:03.774
Pope-Hennessy?
00:29:08.401 --> 00:29:10.778
The theater is in a terrible state.
00:29:11.031 --> 00:29:13.826
The 3 plays closed in Shaftesbury avenue
in one week.
00:29:14.991 --> 00:29:15.759
Really?
00:29:18.951 --> 00:29:20.671
Some ballet on ice is coming here.
00:29:21.248 --> 00:29:22.928
The comrades are all agog about it.
00:29:23.981 --> 00:29:25.749
I am rather old-fashioned about ice.
00:29:27.401 --> 00:29:29.285
I used to drive in Cambridge, you know.
00:29:29.901 --> 00:29:32.381
One thinks back and wonders,
did one lose one's way?
00:29:34.051 --> 00:29:35.565
You are not eating your tomato?
00:29:37.131 --> 00:29:38.380
Well, I'm not hungry.
00:29:38.481 --> 00:29:40.719
Oh, I am. Yum, yum. Mmm.
00:29:44.581 --> 00:29:45.350
There.
00:29:48.421 --> 00:29:49.175
Mmm.
00:29:49.348 --> 00:29:51.028
"Do you see many people here?"
00:29:52.752 --> 00:29:54.947
Oh, yes. Heaps of chums...
00:29:58.271 --> 00:30:00.559
Don't know what you're missing
with this tomato.
00:30:03.681 --> 00:30:05.610
There's your other half, I suppose...
00:30:06.191 --> 00:30:07.426
What? Oh yeah. Hmm.
00:30:08.381 --> 00:30:10.031
He is a dab hand of the balalaika.
00:30:10.031 --> 00:30:10.751
We play duets.
00:30:11.361 --> 00:30:12.234
Maclean?
00:30:13.720 --> 00:30:14.520
Maclean?
00:30:15.056 --> 00:30:15.806
Oh no.
00:30:16.053 --> 00:30:17.053
[laughs]
00:30:17.851 --> 00:30:20.091
Maclean is not my friend.
No doubt you'll know.
00:30:20.396 --> 00:30:21.116
No, no, no...
00:30:21.291 --> 00:30:24.027
No, no, no. He's so unfunny and no jokes.
No jokes at all.
00:30:24.331 --> 00:30:26.598
Positively the last person
one would have chosen
00:30:26.598 --> 00:30:28.138
had one had the choice.
[laughs]
00:30:28.721 --> 00:30:31.405
Yet we are here in this terrible
tandem together, you see
00:30:31.501 --> 00:30:33.021
Debenham and Freebody.
Uh-hmm...
00:30:33.671 --> 00:30:35.771
Crosse and Blackwell.
Hm hm hm, mhhhh...
00:30:35.991 --> 00:30:36.947
Auden and Isherwood.
00:30:38.041 --> 00:30:39.103
Burgess and Maclean.
00:30:39.991 --> 00:30:40.942
Do you know Auden?
00:30:41.111 --> 00:30:42.319
You asked me. No.
00:30:43.701 --> 00:30:44.441
Don't look.
00:30:44.671 --> 00:30:46.310
The seeds get inside my plate.
00:30:47.571 --> 00:30:49.705
You know, people ask me
if I have any regrets
00:30:50.231 --> 00:30:51.401
The one regret I have
00:30:51.501 --> 00:30:52.775
is that before I came away
00:30:52.775 --> 00:30:56.357
I didn't get myself fitted out with
a good pair of National Health Gnashers.
00:30:57.131 --> 00:31:00.200
Admirable as most things are
in the Soviet Socialist Republic,
00:31:00.721 --> 00:31:02.776
making of dentures
is still in its infancy.
00:31:05.315 --> 00:31:06.054
Hmm.
00:31:07.341 --> 00:31:09.359
You know, there's no one in Moscow at all.
00:31:10.901 --> 00:31:13.471
It's rather like staying in Cambridge
for the long vac.
00:31:14.321 --> 00:31:16.107
One makes do with whoever's around...
00:31:16.311 --> 00:31:17.050
Me.
00:31:17.125 --> 00:31:18.125
Ha ha ha!
00:31:18.201 --> 00:31:19.441
No, no, no, no, no.
NOTE Paragraph
00:31:19.521 --> 00:31:21.434
Besides, I asked you here for a reason.
00:31:23.451 --> 00:31:24.860
Did you bring a tape measure?
00:31:29.441 --> 00:31:32.539
I want you to measure me
for some suits for my tailor.
00:31:33.321 --> 00:31:35.680
I only have one suit
the one I came away in.
00:31:36.131 --> 00:31:38.142
And I've fallen down a lot since then.
00:31:38.601 --> 00:31:40.285
I shan't know where to start.
00:31:40.605 --> 00:31:42.081
What measurements will he want?
00:31:42.081 --> 00:31:43.891
Oh, measure it all, he'll work it out.
00:31:44.146 --> 00:31:45.026
He is a nice man.
00:31:45.421 --> 00:31:47.212
Won't the people here get you a suit?
00:31:47.741 --> 00:31:48.485
What people?
00:31:49.161 --> 00:31:49.970
The authorities.
00:31:50.711 --> 00:31:52.249
Oh, yes, but have you seen them?
00:31:52.821 --> 00:31:55.203
Clothes have never been
the comrades' strong point
00:31:56.461 --> 00:31:59.213
Besides, I do not want to look
like everybody else, right?
00:32:00.751 --> 00:32:02.208
Now, I seem to remember
00:32:03.644 --> 00:32:04.354
doing this.
00:32:04.732 --> 00:32:05.461
Ah...
00:32:05.461 --> 00:32:06.176
Hm hm hm.
00:32:06.176 --> 00:32:06.891
Hm hm.
00:32:06.891 --> 00:32:08.929
Your arms can't have changed.
00:32:09.781 --> 00:32:12.402
You know, I never cared a tuppence
about clothes before.
00:32:12.501 --> 00:32:15.618
I was kitted out in the traditional
clothes in my class, you know.
00:32:15.751 --> 00:32:19.722
Black coat, striped trousers,
pinstripe suit, tweeds for weekends.
00:32:20.051 --> 00:32:22.157
Shit order, of course.
Always in shit order.
00:32:22.191 --> 00:32:24.788
But charm, now I always had charm.
00:32:25.811 --> 00:32:28.860
"Well, you still have charm,"
she said through clenched teeth.
00:32:29.140 --> 00:32:29.920
Ha ha ha ha.
00:32:30.721 --> 00:32:32.038
Not here, not for them.
00:32:32.741 --> 00:32:35.282
For charm one needs words.
I have no words.
00:32:36.001 --> 00:32:37.690
And short of my clothes, no class.
00:32:38.501 --> 00:32:40.358
To them, I am the Englishman.
00:32:41.629 --> 00:32:44.308
"Would you like to go to bed
with the Englishman", I say.
00:32:44.568 --> 00:32:45.418
Not really.
00:32:46.648 --> 00:32:48.510
How one got so spoiled during the war,
00:32:48.730 --> 00:32:50.030
the joys of the blackout.
00:32:50.440 --> 00:32:52.530
London awash with rude soldiery.
00:32:53.760 --> 00:32:55.510
[russian]
00:32:56.700 --> 00:32:57.590
You speak Russian?
00:32:57.870 --> 00:32:58.595
I manage.
00:32:58.835 --> 00:33:00.656
I ought to learn, simply for the sex.
00:33:01.446 --> 00:33:03.341
Boys are quite thin on the ground here.
00:33:03.341 --> 00:33:05.351
They can't speak my tongue,
I can't theirs,
00:33:05.351 --> 00:33:07.251
so when one does get one it soon palls.
00:33:08.081 --> 00:33:09.069
Sex needs language.
00:33:09.671 --> 00:33:11.664
Well, at least you found a friend.
00:33:12.191 --> 00:33:15.558
I do not know whether I've found one
or whether I've been allotted one.
00:33:17.071 --> 00:33:17.771
And I...
00:33:17.771 --> 00:33:19.551
I know what I've done to deserve him.
00:33:19.551 --> 00:33:21.246
But what has he done to deserve me?
00:33:21.891 --> 00:33:23.745
Am I a reward or a punishment?
00:33:25.161 --> 00:33:27.887
He plays the balalaika and
I play the piano.
00:33:29.161 --> 00:33:29.880
It's fun.
00:33:31.641 --> 00:33:33.443
He is an electrician with the ballet.
00:33:34.691 --> 00:33:36.381
Of course, he might be a policeman.
00:33:36.961 --> 00:33:39.111
If he is a policeman,
he does it jolly well...
00:33:39.251 --> 00:33:41.251
Forster lived with a policeman, didn't he?
00:33:41.281 --> 00:33:42.099
Do you know him?
00:33:42.131 --> 00:33:45.897
I feel I'm somewhat of a disappointment
in the friends department.
00:33:46.161 --> 00:33:46.923
Oh, no matter.
00:33:47.761 --> 00:33:48.521
You know...
00:33:48.881 --> 00:33:50.701
No one will believe me when I go home.
00:33:51.411 --> 00:33:53.089
What did you do in Moscow, darling?
00:33:53.701 --> 00:33:54.420
Nothing much.
00:33:55.087 --> 00:33:57.710
I measured Guy Burgess inside the leg.
00:33:58.105 --> 00:33:58.898
Ah ha ha ha...
00:34:00.201 --> 00:34:02.950
I shouldn't think one's inside leg
alters much, would you?
00:34:04.021 --> 00:34:05.127
One of the immutables.
00:34:06.491 --> 00:34:08.713
The knee is such a distance
from the main body,
00:34:08.713 --> 00:34:10.559
while the groin,
as your honour knows,
00:34:10.571 --> 00:34:12.412
is upon the very curtain of the place.
00:34:12.781 --> 00:34:13.513
Come again?
00:34:14.481 --> 00:34:15.268
Tristram Shandy.
00:34:17.951 --> 00:34:20.002
Of course, you wouldn't do that,
would you?
00:34:20.751 --> 00:34:21.501
Do what?
00:34:23.241 --> 00:34:24.626
Go around telling everybody.
00:34:26.261 --> 00:34:28.656
My people here wouldn't like that.
00:34:30.531 --> 00:34:31.260
No?
00:34:33.321 --> 00:34:34.050
No.
00:34:36.491 --> 00:34:37.531
A hat would be nice.
00:34:38.761 --> 00:34:39.621
7 and 5/8.
00:34:39.621 --> 00:34:41.301
Now, I will write the name of my...
00:34:41.301 --> 00:34:43.517
I have it here, and, oh,
and my bootmaker, too.
00:34:43.521 --> 00:34:45.512
Yeah, it's a trousseau.
00:34:45.581 --> 00:34:46.313
Yeah !
00:34:46.677 --> 00:34:47.787
For a shotgun marriage.
00:34:49.721 --> 00:34:51.837
Look, how do you know he won't say no?
00:34:51.837 --> 00:34:52.549
Hmm?
00:34:52.826 --> 00:34:53.826
Your tailor...
00:34:54.431 --> 00:34:55.896
It would be vulgar to say no.
00:34:57.028 --> 00:34:58.028
He won't say no.
00:34:59.771 --> 00:35:01.090
I'll see what I can do.
00:35:01.231 --> 00:35:02.849
Oh, you're not going yet, are you?
00:35:03.021 --> 00:35:04.611
You don't want to go yet, do you?
00:35:05.961 --> 00:35:07.511
Well, could not we go somewhere?
00:35:08.011 --> 00:35:09.471
You could show me the sights.
00:35:10.111 --> 00:35:11.939
Uh... Well, I can not go out yet...
00:35:12.600 --> 00:35:14.340
I have to wait for a telephone call.
00:35:15.241 --> 00:35:17.832
When the telephone call comes,
I am permitted to leave.
00:35:18.541 --> 00:35:19.262
Who from?
00:35:21.831 --> 00:35:22.746
Oh, you know...
00:35:23.398 --> 00:35:24.158
my people.
00:35:26.721 --> 00:35:28.017
It's generally around four.
00:35:30.051 --> 00:35:31.567
That's another two hours!
00:35:34.631 --> 00:35:35.342
Never mind.
00:35:36.131 --> 00:35:37.992
I'll play you my Jack Buchanan record.
00:35:47.491 --> 00:35:54.120
♪ Who, stole my heart away ♪
00:35:54.201 --> 00:35:58.899
♪ Who, makes me dream all day ♪
00:35:59.071 --> 00:36:04.823
♪ Dreams I know can never come true ♪
00:36:04.861 --> 00:36:10.933
♪ Seems as though I'll ever be blue ♪
00:36:10.971 --> 00:36:17.018
♪ Who, means my happiness ♪
00:36:17.061 --> 00:36:24.903
♪ Who, would I answer yes to ♪
00:36:25.231 --> 00:36:29.243
♪ Well you ought to guess who ♪
00:36:30.381 --> 00:36:32.518
♪ No one, but you ♪
00:36:32.669 --> 00:36:47.559
♪ (crescendo) ♪
00:36:47.576 --> 00:36:52.510
♪ No one else... ♪
♪ (music tempo rising) ♪
00:36:52.510 --> 00:36:57.238
♪ no one else... ♪
♪ (music tempo rising) ♪
00:36:57.238 --> 00:36:58.728
♪ else ♪
00:36:58.728 --> 00:36:59.714
♪ else but you... ♪
00:36:59.714 --> 00:37:02.439
♪ (music tempo rises and ends) ♪
00:37:04.411 --> 00:37:05.188
Good, isn't it?
00:37:06.024 --> 00:37:07.094
Want to hear it again?
00:37:07.761 --> 00:37:08.841
You just have the one?
00:37:08.971 --> 00:37:09.711
Just the one.
00:37:09.983 --> 00:37:11.202
What's on the other side?
00:37:11.202 --> 00:37:13.429
Oh, you don't want to listen
to the other side.
00:37:13.441 --> 00:37:14.138
The other side is rubbish.
00:37:14.835 --> 00:37:16.555
I never listen to the other side.
00:37:17.258 --> 00:37:19.688
♪ (music) ♪
00:37:19.701 --> 00:37:23.599
♪ Who stole my heart away ♪
00:37:23.599 --> 00:37:25.127
What do you miss the most?
00:37:25.127 --> 00:37:27.781
♪ (song playing in the background) ♪
00:37:27.781 --> 00:37:29.481
Well, um...
00:37:29.481 --> 00:37:30.771
Apart from the Reform Club,
00:37:32.031 --> 00:37:33.041
the streets of London
00:37:34.621 --> 00:37:35.331
and
00:37:35.361 --> 00:37:37.339
occasionally the English countryside
00:37:39.711 --> 00:37:41.441
I think the only thing I really miss
00:37:42.386 --> 00:37:43.156
is gossip
00:37:44.961 --> 00:37:47.516
The comrades, though splendid
in every other respect,
00:37:47.611 --> 00:37:50.079
don't gossip in quite the way we do
00:37:50.121 --> 00:37:51.712
or about quite the same subjects.
00:37:52.201 --> 00:37:53.831
Now, pardon me for saying so, dear
00:37:53.831 --> 00:37:55.411
but the comrades seem to me to be
00:37:55.411 --> 00:37:57.547
a sad disappointment in every department.
00:37:58.851 --> 00:37:59.718
There's no gossip,
00:38:00.377 --> 00:38:01.706
their clothes are terrible,
00:38:02.161 --> 00:38:03.616
they can't make false teeth,
00:38:04.211 --> 00:38:05.151
what else is there?
00:38:06.431 --> 00:38:07.174
The system,
00:38:08.201 --> 00:38:10.886
though being English,
you wouldn't be interested in that.
00:38:14.001 --> 00:38:15.958
What do people say about me in England?
00:38:17.551 --> 00:38:18.946
They don't say much anymore.
00:38:20.981 --> 00:38:23.838
I thought you as a bit like Oscar Wilde.
00:38:25.039 --> 00:38:25.779
Ha ha.
00:38:26.941 --> 00:38:27.740
No, no.
00:38:30.211 --> 00:38:31.548
Though he was a performer
00:38:33.341 --> 00:38:34.811
and I was a performer.
00:38:35.521 --> 00:38:36.285
Both vain.
00:38:38.301 --> 00:38:39.350
But I never pretended.
00:38:39.781 --> 00:38:42.327
If I wore a mask,
it was to be exactly what I seemed.
00:38:43.251 --> 00:38:44.648
And as for the other, well...
00:38:45.374 --> 00:38:46.901
I made no bones about the other.
00:38:49.461 --> 00:38:50.894
But my analysis of situations,
00:38:50.999 --> 00:38:54.241
The precis I had to submit
to the Foreign Office were always Marxist.
00:38:54.241 --> 00:38:54.963
openly so,
00:38:56.701 --> 00:38:57.431
impeccably so.
00:38:59.301 --> 00:39:00.277
But nobody minded.
00:39:01.321 --> 00:39:03.191
It's only Guy, dear old Guy.
Quite safe.
00:39:03.381 --> 00:39:05.381
See, if you do wish
to conform in one thing
00:39:05.381 --> 00:39:09.061
You must conform in all the others.
And in all important things I did conform.
00:39:10.621 --> 00:39:11.615
How can he be a spy?
00:39:11.732 --> 00:39:12.732
He goes to my tailor!
00:39:14.469 --> 00:39:17.292
The average Englishman, you see,
is not interested in ideas.
00:39:17.334 --> 00:39:20.208
Say what you like about political theory.
No one will listen.
00:39:20.208 --> 00:39:21.602
You could shove a whole slice
00:39:21.602 --> 00:39:24.082
of the Communist manifesto
into the Queen's Speech.
00:39:24.082 --> 00:39:25.301
Nobody would turn a hair.
00:39:25.861 --> 00:39:27.391
Least of all, I suspect, HMQ.
00:39:32.211 --> 00:39:33.306
Am I boring you?
00:39:35.581 --> 00:39:36.514
It does not matter.
00:39:41.117 --> 00:39:56.671
♪ (piano music) ♪
00:39:56.671 --> 00:39:59.408
I'll think of 101 things to ask you
when you've gone.
00:40:01.061 --> 00:40:02.197
How is Cyril Connolly?
00:40:03.311 --> 00:40:04.975
You've asked me that.
I do not know.
00:40:09.131 --> 00:40:09.887
So little...
00:40:10.264 --> 00:40:10.973
England.
00:40:12.101 --> 00:40:13.333
Little music, little art.
00:40:13.962 --> 00:40:14.692
Hmm.
00:40:14.771 --> 00:40:15.499
Timid,
00:40:15.760 --> 00:40:16.480
tasteful,
00:40:17.240 --> 00:40:17.951
nice.
00:40:19.431 --> 00:40:20.266
Yet one loves it.
00:40:21.933 --> 00:40:22.673
Loves it.
00:40:25.101 --> 00:40:28.000
You see, I can say I love London
and I can say I love England.
00:40:29.151 --> 00:40:30.701
I can't say I love my country.
00:40:31.771 --> 00:40:33.245
I don't know what that means.
00:40:37.271 --> 00:40:38.307
Do you watch cricket?
00:40:39.271 --> 00:40:39.980
No.
00:40:41.891 --> 00:40:42.917
Anyway, it's changed.
00:40:44.101 --> 00:40:44.855
Cricket?
00:40:45.711 --> 00:40:46.444
London.
00:40:48.372 --> 00:40:49.092
Why?
00:40:50.261 --> 00:40:51.511
I don't want it to change.
00:40:52.581 --> 00:40:54.252
Why does anybody want to change it?
00:40:54.671 --> 00:40:56.198
They've no business changing it.
00:40:56.758 --> 00:40:57.488
The fools!
00:40:58.314 --> 00:40:59.901
You should stop them changing it.
00:40:59.901 --> 00:41:00.722
Band together.
00:41:02.621 --> 00:41:03.341
Listen, dear.
00:41:04.161 --> 00:41:05.141
I'm only an actress.
00:41:06.891 --> 00:41:08.859
I'm not a bright lady, by your standards.
00:41:10.381 --> 00:41:12.431
I've never been
much interested in politics
00:41:12.431 --> 00:41:15.770
But if this is Communism
I don't like it because it's dull!
00:41:16.611 --> 00:41:18.090
The poor things look so tired.
00:41:20.191 --> 00:41:22.390
But then, some people think
Australia's dull.
00:41:22.761 --> 00:41:24.026
And that is not Communism.
00:41:24.914 --> 00:41:25.794
And look at Leeds!
00:41:29.121 --> 00:41:30.631
Only it occurs to me
00:41:31.931 --> 00:41:33.721
that we have sat here all afternoon
00:41:33.791 --> 00:41:35.994
pretending that spying,
00:41:37.951 --> 00:41:39.586
which is what you did, my darling,
00:41:40.101 --> 00:41:42.960
was just a minor social misdemeanor.
00:41:43.781 --> 00:41:44.501
no worse
00:41:44.861 --> 00:41:47.221
and I’m sure
in certain people’s minds much better
00:41:47.221 --> 00:41:49.436
than being caught in a public lavatory
00:41:49.501 --> 00:41:51.962
the way gentlemen
in my profession constantly are.
00:41:53.411 --> 00:41:57.238
That’s just something
we shouldn’t mention
00:41:58.971 --> 00:41:59.852
out of politeness.
00:42:01.751 --> 00:42:03.315
So that we won't be embarrassed.
00:42:05.088 --> 00:42:06.238
Hmm hmm hah.
00:42:06.321 --> 00:42:07.368
That's very English.
00:42:08.221 --> 00:42:12.113
We'll pretend that hasn't happened
because we're both sensible people.
00:42:13.291 --> 00:42:14.010
Well,
00:42:15.379 --> 00:42:16.259
I am not English,
00:42:17.021 --> 00:42:18.660
I am not sensible,
00:42:20.011 --> 00:42:20.983
I am an Australian.
00:42:23.511 --> 00:42:25.114
I can't muster much morality
00:42:27.011 --> 00:42:30.474
and outside Shakespeare,
the word "treason" to me means nothing.
00:42:32.711 --> 00:42:34.430
Only, you pissed in our soup,
00:42:35.440 --> 00:42:36.338
and we drank it.
00:42:39.151 --> 00:42:40.267
Well, very well.
00:42:42.301 --> 00:42:43.884
It doesn't affect me, darling.
00:42:45.061 --> 00:42:47.123
I will order your suit and your hat.
00:42:48.251 --> 00:42:49.781
And I will keep it under mine.
00:42:50.111 --> 00:42:51.479
Mum, not a word.
00:42:53.141 --> 00:42:54.164
But for one reason,
00:42:56.381 --> 00:42:57.285
I'm sorry for you.
00:43:00.501 --> 00:43:01.241
Now,
00:43:02.061 --> 00:43:03.061
in your book,
00:43:03.651 --> 00:43:05.339
in your real book,
00:43:06.061 --> 00:43:10.001
that probably adds my name to the list
of all the other fools you've conned.
00:43:10.741 --> 00:43:12.489
But you are not conning me, darling.
00:43:14.891 --> 00:43:15.883
I know.
00:43:18.501 --> 00:43:21.032
Pipe is not fooling pussy.
00:43:22.716 --> 00:43:27.296
[Telephone rings]
00:43:27.298 --> 00:43:28.298
Excuse me.
00:43:29.521 --> 00:43:30.544
I was enjoying that.
00:43:30.544 --> 00:43:35.050
[the ringing continues]
00:43:35.631 --> 00:43:37.295
You spoiled the lady's big speech.
00:43:39.258 --> 00:43:39.998
Thank you.
00:43:41.239 --> 00:43:42.009
Yes, yes.
00:43:44.561 --> 00:43:46.230
I just want to be told why.
00:43:51.311 --> 00:43:52.142
At the time,
00:43:52.835 --> 00:43:54.725
I thought it was the right thing to do
00:43:56.581 --> 00:43:58.595
and solitude, I suppose.
00:43:59.379 --> 00:44:00.139
Oh, solitude!
00:44:03.161 --> 00:44:04.191
If you have a secret,
00:44:05.551 --> 00:44:06.283
you're alone.
00:44:06.561 --> 00:44:07.651
But you told people.
00:44:08.111 --> 00:44:09.411
You told several people.
00:44:10.591 --> 00:44:13.241
No point in having a secret,
if you make a secret of it.
00:44:14.331 --> 00:44:17.351
Actually, the other thing you might get me
is an old Etonian tie
00:44:17.351 --> 00:44:18.711
This one's on it's last leg.
00:44:19.426 --> 00:44:20.176
Ah!
00:44:20.241 --> 00:44:21.242
Here is Tolya.
00:44:21.631 --> 00:44:22.981
[russian]
00:44:23.201 --> 00:44:24.031
[russian]
00:44:24.316 --> 00:44:25.046
Mmmm
00:44:25.551 --> 00:44:27.999
Ah, yes. Now, this is Ms. Browne.
00:44:28.231 --> 00:44:30.076
She's an actress from England.
00:44:30.911 --> 00:44:31.923
How do you do?
00:44:33.261 --> 00:44:34.041
How do you do?
00:44:34.141 --> 00:44:34.891
Very good.
00:44:35.051 --> 00:44:38.874
If you give him a cigarette, an English
cigarette, he'll be your friend for life.
00:44:38.941 --> 00:44:40.946
[russian]
00:44:41.013 --> 00:44:42.511
[russian]
00:44:42.511 --> 00:44:43.229
Ah.
00:44:43.755 --> 00:44:44.865
Lot of good they do us.
00:44:52.463 --> 00:44:55.020
[russian]
00:44:55.331 --> 00:44:56.810
Oh dear, sorry.
00:44:56.955 --> 00:44:57.673
Uh.
00:44:58.083 --> 00:44:58.801
Uh.
00:44:59.241 --> 00:44:59.979
No.
00:45:00.010 --> 00:45:00.870
[russian]
00:45:00.870 --> 00:45:01.760
No, no, please.
00:45:01.760 --> 00:45:03.420
[russian]
00:45:03.420 --> 00:45:04.164
Please.
00:45:04.732 --> 00:45:05.452
Proud?
00:45:06.466 --> 00:45:07.196
[russian]
00:45:12.498 --> 00:45:13.218
[russian]
00:45:17.341 --> 00:45:18.494
He's a real Queen Mary.
00:45:20.351 --> 00:45:22.681
You couldn't order him a suit too,
could you, too?
00:45:22.681 --> 00:45:23.779
He would look so nice.
00:45:24.101 --> 00:45:24.851
Anything.
00:45:25.361 --> 00:45:26.091
Anything.
00:45:26.841 --> 00:45:27.706
Hey Guy, Guy.
00:45:27.843 --> 00:45:28.563
[russian]
00:45:29.562 --> 00:45:32.765
[russian]
00:45:33.253 --> 00:45:34.973
[russian]
00:45:35.507 --> 00:45:36.217
Mmmm.
00:45:36.411 --> 00:45:37.125
Uh... uh...
00:45:38.153 --> 00:45:39.663
Tolya wants to play you a tune.
00:45:40.101 --> 00:45:42.265
Uh, do let him, he'll be so pleased.
00:45:42.265 --> 00:45:47.728
♪ (music) ♪
00:45:47.728 --> 00:45:49.992
Gilbert and Sullivan.
00:45:51.936 --> 00:45:54.511
♪ (music) ♪
00:45:54.511 --> 00:45:57.429
♪ Take a pair of sparkling eyes, ♪
00:45:57.429 --> 00:45:59.506
♪ Hidden, ever and anon, ♪
00:45:59.506 --> 00:46:03.231
♪ In a merciful eclipse ♪
00:46:03.231 --> 00:46:05.765
♪ Do not heed their mild surprise ♪
00:46:05.765 --> 00:46:08.031
♪ Having passed the Rubicon. ♪
00:46:08.031 --> 00:46:11.501
♪ Take a pair of rosy lips ; ♪
00:46:11.501 --> 00:46:15.921
What do you think?
Reward or punishment?
00:46:15.921 --> 00:46:18.231
♪ Be particular in this ♪
00:46:18.231 --> 00:46:20.377
♪ Take a tender little hand, ♪
00:46:20.377 --> 00:46:22.519
♪ Fringed with dainty fingerettes, ♪
00:46:22.911 --> 00:46:25.438
♪ Press it, press... ♪
00:46:26.911 --> 00:46:27.869
Where are we going?
00:46:28.421 --> 00:46:29.159
Church.
00:46:29.741 --> 00:46:30.691
Do you like church?
00:46:30.971 --> 00:46:31.721
I adore it.
00:46:32.121 --> 00:46:33.744
This one, the singing's very good.
00:46:33.744 --> 00:46:37.288
The opera singers are in the choir,
warming up for the evening performance.
00:46:38.801 --> 00:46:41.039
That's uh, not another friend?
00:46:41.419 --> 00:46:42.317
Oh, good God no.
00:46:43.761 --> 00:46:46.141
You know, when I first came here,
00:46:46.141 --> 00:46:48.156
I was shadowed by
a rather grand policeman.
00:46:48.156 --> 00:46:49.688
That was when I was a celebrity.
00:46:49.971 --> 00:46:51.998
Nowadays they just send the trainees...
00:46:52.271 --> 00:46:53.228
Ironic, that.
00:46:54.381 --> 00:46:55.123
Good afternoon.
00:46:56.191 --> 00:46:57.451
(Russian) Good afternoon.
00:46:58.381 --> 00:47:00.069
Not strong on irony, the comrades.
00:47:01.981 --> 00:47:03.291
Did you know Jack Buchanan?
00:47:04.231 --> 00:47:05.085
Yes, I suppose.
00:47:07.101 --> 00:47:08.310
We nearly got married.
00:47:19.871 --> 00:47:20.940
It's strange.
00:47:21.971 --> 00:47:24.072
Sybil Thorndike loved it.
00:47:29.516 --> 00:48:20.746
[singing at the church]
00:48:22.153 --> 00:49:14.325
[chanting]
00:49:14.363 --> 00:49:18.913
[chanting fades]
00:49:19.951 --> 00:49:21.976
I gave you my old mum's number, didn't I?
00:49:22.251 --> 00:49:22.990
Yes.
00:49:25.501 --> 00:49:26.231
I...
00:49:27.666 --> 00:49:28.466
do like it here.
00:49:30.581 --> 00:49:32.106
Don't tell anyone I don't.
00:49:32.731 --> 00:49:33.614
And thanks again,
00:49:34.177 --> 00:49:34.937
in advance.
00:49:39.509 --> 00:50:09.673
[music]
00:50:10.841 --> 00:50:11.868
Is that Mrs. Burgess?
00:50:12.771 --> 00:50:14.099
My name is Coral Browne.
00:50:14.381 --> 00:50:16.921
I've just seen Guy in Moscow.
He asked me to call you.
00:50:17.291 --> 00:50:18.291
How is he looking?
00:50:18.291 --> 00:50:19.370
Oh, he's looking fine.
00:50:19.741 --> 00:50:21.299
I do wish I could see him.
00:50:21.751 --> 00:50:22.565
The old scamp.
00:50:22.565 --> 00:50:25.499
Well, you should go over again.
I know he'd love to see you.
00:50:25.499 --> 00:50:26.709
Don't think I could now.
00:50:26.981 --> 00:50:28.076
I've got a stupid hip.
00:50:28.511 --> 00:50:29.432
Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:50:30.641 --> 00:50:32.987
Well, maybe they will let him
come back sometime.
00:50:33.851 --> 00:50:36.808
He shouldn't have to stand in the corners
the rest of his life.
00:50:37.171 --> 00:50:38.583
It is seven years.
00:50:39.178 --> 00:50:40.178
People are silly.
00:50:42.501 --> 00:50:43.596
Let me see? Now that...
00:50:44.511 --> 00:50:45.251
Yes.
00:50:45.431 --> 00:50:47.351
Yes, well, it is fractionally too short.
00:50:47.351 --> 00:50:48.783
But I can easily alter that.
00:50:49.211 --> 00:50:51.981
They're pretty old to me,
little over the years, you know.
00:50:53.001 --> 00:50:53.791
Credit.
00:50:55.091 --> 00:50:55.821
Good.
00:50:56.841 --> 00:51:01.551
And, if I wanted to try on the pants,
with which we had no problems,
00:51:01.641 --> 00:51:04.997
And now there's this, which has a nondescript amount of work to make...
00:51:05.081 --> 00:51:09.279
I will be with you in a moment! "That's fine, I think.
00:51:11.201 --> 00:51:12.429
Yes, ma'am, can I help you?
00:51:12.521 --> 00:51:15.035
Good morning.
I would like to order some suits
00:51:15.121 --> 00:51:16.713
Certainly, ma'am, have a seat.
00:51:16.801 --> 00:51:19.076
You have made suits
for this gentleman before
00:51:19.161 --> 00:51:20.514
but now he lives abroad.
00:51:20.601 --> 00:51:21.875
I see.
00:51:21.961 --> 00:51:23.917
I took his measurements.
00:51:24.681 --> 00:51:25.909
I do not know if they're quite right.
00:51:27.121 --> 00:51:28.440
Let me see.
00:51:29.961 --> 00:51:33.078
Oh, yes. Yes,
this is more than adequate.
00:51:33.161 --> 00:51:35.834
Uh, could we know the gentleman's name?
00:51:36.521 --> 00:51:37.749
Burgess.
00:51:41.761 --> 00:51:43.592
I seem to remember that we had, uh...
00:51:43.681 --> 00:51:45.990
We had two Mr. Burgesses.
00:51:53.681 --> 00:51:56.639
This I take it as Mr.Burguess, G.
00:51:58.081 --> 00:52:00.037
How is Mr Burgess?
00:52:00.121 --> 00:52:02.715
Fatter, I see.
00:52:03.801 --> 00:52:06.110
He was one of our more colorful customers.
00:52:06.201 --> 00:52:09.273
Too little color in our drab lives these days
00:52:09.361 --> 00:52:12.000
Mr Guy favoured this pattern.
00:52:12.081 --> 00:52:14.231
It's a... It's a durable fabric.
00:52:14.321 --> 00:52:16.357
Their costumes always suffered
enough punishment.
00:52:16.441 --> 00:52:18.033
I hope, that you have been useful
00:52:18.121 --> 00:52:19.156
Oh, yes, they have been.
00:52:19.241 --> 00:52:21.072
I am glad to hear it.
00:52:21.161 --> 00:52:24.551
Always getting scratches.Mr Guy.
00:52:24.641 --> 00:52:25.790
And your name is?
00:52:25.881 --> 00:52:27.314
Browne.
00:52:27.401 --> 00:52:29.471
No discretion is needed here, ma'am
00:52:29.561 --> 00:52:31.358
No, truly.
00:52:31.761 --> 00:52:33.194
My apologies.
00:52:35.361 --> 00:52:38.717
And this is the address?
00:52:38.801 --> 00:52:41.599
We put little of ourselves
into our suits,
00:52:41.681 --> 00:52:44.241
that is our loyalty.
00:52:44.321 --> 00:52:46.835
And mum's the word.
00:52:48.361 --> 00:52:51.034
Mum is always the word here, madam.
00:52:51.121 --> 00:52:55.672
Moscow or Maidenhead,
mum is always the word.
00:52:57.081 --> 00:52:59.754
Baldwin, Brooks...
00:53:01.841 --> 00:53:03.354
Burgess...
00:53:04.041 --> 00:53:07.636
Burgess, Burgess, Burgess,
00:53:08.161 --> 00:53:09.560
Burgess.
00:53:09.641 --> 00:53:11.233
No.
00:53:11.321 --> 00:53:15.030
- I'll call back later.
- Burgess, Burgess, Burgess.
00:53:16.321 --> 00:53:18.118
5807.
00:53:18.201 --> 00:53:20.396
Well, if I wanted to follow the
bowels of the Earth.
00:53:20.481 --> 00:53:22.551
We'll see what we can find.
00:53:25.681 --> 00:53:27.876
5807...
00:53:27.961 --> 00:53:31.158
This is Mr. Burguess
who got into hot water.
00:53:31.241 --> 00:53:32.276
George!
00:53:32.361 --> 00:53:33.555
Yes.
00:53:33.641 --> 00:53:38.237
5807... 5807...
00:53:42.601 --> 00:53:44.034
It's a graveyard.
00:53:44.121 --> 00:53:48.433
On the contrary, ma'am,
they are all very much alive and indeed kicking
00:53:48.521 --> 00:53:51.240
5807...
00:53:51.321 --> 00:53:55.109
From time to time we make
a small bonfire.
00:53:55.201 --> 00:53:57.431
George, 5807.
00:53:58.681 --> 00:54:01.320
Ah, excuse me, sir.
00:54:04.881 --> 00:54:06.997
Well, it is a very long way from him.
00:54:07.081 --> 00:54:09.151
I thought I would never ask for others.
00:54:09.241 --> 00:54:10.913
George is quite inconsiderate.
00:54:14.881 --> 00:54:16.792
Here it is.
00:54:17.561 --> 00:54:18.880
GB.
00:54:19.841 --> 00:54:20.876
Great Britain.
00:54:25.521 --> 00:54:27.273
I wish I had told her
in due time,
00:54:27.361 --> 00:54:29.397
I would have liked to have seen the old thing again.
00:54:29.481 --> 00:54:31.711
Well, he wanted me to take him to lunch.
00:54:31.801 --> 00:54:33.519
- Oh! "Give me a check."
00:54:33.601 --> 00:54:34.829
Oh!
00:54:34.921 --> 00:54:36.559
I'm not sure I should
charge it.
00:54:36.641 --> 00:54:38.597
Oh, for Guy.
00:54:41.321 --> 00:54:43.039
Did you have a problem
to send the goods?
00:54:43.121 --> 00:54:44.156
Oh, no, no, no.
00:54:44.241 --> 00:54:46.914
No one moved a tab,
why should they?
00:54:47.001 --> 00:54:48.400
Everything has been sent.
00:54:48.481 --> 00:54:51.837
Only now she has written
asking for some pajamas
00:54:51.921 --> 00:54:53.274
- Hmm? "Look."
00:54:53.361 --> 00:54:56.159
- Goodbye, Mario.
- Goodbye, madam.
00:54:56.241 --> 00:55:01.235
What I really need, really,
the only thing is pajamas.
00:55:01.321 --> 00:55:05.633
Rations that can not sleep late,
in fact, are not made for that purpose.
00:55:05.721 --> 00:55:08.440
What I would like are four pairs...
00:55:08.521 --> 00:55:09.920
Oh!
00:55:13.681 --> 00:55:15.956
fairly flat,
and of these two colors.
00:55:16.041 --> 00:55:17.793
And finally my set will be complete.
00:55:17.881 --> 00:55:20.839
and I should look like a real agent,
again.
00:55:20.921 --> 00:55:22.240
What?
00:55:24.161 --> 00:55:26.959
and I should look like a real gent
again
00:55:27.041 --> 00:55:28.030
Oh.
00:55:29.801 --> 00:55:32.838
Well, I think the pyjamas are going to be the end.
00:55:34.361 --> 00:55:35.874
Otherwise
the little Dolly
00:55:35.961 --> 00:55:37.997
will be betraying, betraying, betraying
until the cows come home.
00:55:38.081 --> 00:55:40.959
Or until the revolution comes.
00:55:49.681 --> 00:55:52.753
I'm afraid this gentleman does not have
already an account with us, ma'am
00:55:52.841 --> 00:55:56.117
His account was closed. "I know, but he wants to open it again."
00:55:56.201 --> 00:55:58.795
I'm afraid that's impossible.
00:55:58.881 --> 00:56:00.712
Why?
- Well...
00:56:01.441 --> 00:56:04.513
We send pajamas to the royal family.
00:56:04.601 --> 00:56:06.114
So?
00:56:06.201 --> 00:56:08.192
The gentleman is a traitor, Madame.
00:56:08.281 --> 00:56:11.159
So? Must traitors sleep on a cloth?
00:56:11.241 --> 00:56:14.233
Sorry. We have to trace the line
somewhere.
00:56:14.321 --> 00:56:16.676
Well, why there?
00:56:16.761 --> 00:56:19.434
Suppose someone commits
adultery in your precious pajamas
00:56:19.521 --> 00:56:21.910
And I imagine it has occurred?
00:56:22.001 --> 00:56:24.674
What happens when he orders
his next pair of jim-jams?
00:56:24.761 --> 00:56:26.319
Is it sorry, no can do?
00:56:26.401 --> 00:56:30.553
- I'm very sorry.
- She says the whole time she's sorry!
00:56:30.641 --> 00:56:32.313
Oh, Jesus Christ!
00:56:32.401 --> 00:56:34.119
You were quite happy to satisfy this man
00:56:34.201 --> 00:56:37.830
when he was one of the most
notorious buggers in London!
00:56:37.921 --> 00:56:39.593
And a drunk on offer.
00:56:39.681 --> 00:56:42.434
Oh, yes. But then it was someone in the
Foreign Office.
00:56:42.521 --> 00:56:45.672
A little red pipe on the sleeve,
Mr Burguess?.Of course.
00:56:45.761 --> 00:56:48.719
A discreet initials in the pocket,
Mr Burguess?.Oh, yes, certainly.
00:56:48.801 --> 00:56:51.076
And if there's anything else you need,
Mr Burgess,
00:56:51.161 --> 00:56:55.120
We would be very happy to lower your pants
striped
00:56:55.201 --> 00:56:56.236
and make them!
00:56:57.641 --> 00:56:58.835
But not anymore.
00:56:58.921 --> 00:57:01.515
Look, ma'am, I do not know why
is doing this for him.
00:57:01.601 --> 00:57:02.670
But as far as we are concerned,
00:57:02.761 --> 00:57:05.480
Mr Burgess is a client
with whom we have finished.
00:57:05.561 --> 00:57:07.358
Ours is a respectable firm..
00:57:07.441 --> 00:57:09.397
Highly respectable!
00:57:09.481 --> 00:57:13.110
It’s pricks like you that
make me understand why he went!
00:57:13.201 --> 00:57:15.157
Thank God I'm not English!
00:57:15.241 --> 00:57:19.029
In fact, lady, our signature
is not English either, in origin
00:57:19.121 --> 00:57:21.760
Oh? What nationality is it?
00:57:21.841 --> 00:57:23.354
Hungarian.
00:57:24.241 --> 00:57:25.879
I see.
00:57:25.961 --> 00:57:31.035
Well, you can not resist buying an old Eaton tie.
00:57:31.121 --> 00:57:32.634
Cash, of course.
00:57:32.721 --> 00:57:35.440
It is for the mother of the Archbishop
of Canterbury
00:57:46.841 --> 00:57:50.117
# That he is an Englishman!
00:57:51.601 --> 00:57:54.035
*# That he is an Englishman!
00:57:54.121 --> 00:57:57.830
*# For he might have been a Roosian,
00:57:59.041 --> 00:58:02.431
*#A French, or Turk, or Proosian,
00:58:02.521 --> 00:58:10.080
*# Or perhaps Itali-an!
00:58:10.161 --> 00:58:14.677
*# But in spite of all temptations
00:58:14.761 --> 00:58:18.720
*# to belong to other nations,
00:58:18.801 --> 00:58:22.271
*# He remains an Englishman!
00:58:22.361 --> 00:58:29.153
*# He remains an Englishman!
00:58:31.241 --> 00:58:35.917
*# For in spite of all temptations
00:58:36.001 --> 00:58:40.040
*# to belong to other nations,
00:58:40.121 --> 00:58:50.838
*# He remains an Englishman!
00:58:55.441 --> 00:58:59.400
*# For he himself has said it,
00:58:59.481 --> 00:59:03.838
*# And it's greatly to his credit,
00:59:03.921 --> 00:59:08.392
*# That he is an Englishman!
00:59:08.481 --> 00:59:15.353
*# That he is an Englishman!